October 2007 Archives

Apparently the person who types up this blog for me and puts it out on the internet is an idiot who has been fired.  Not only do we love women of all shapes and sizes, we also love to put them in lead roles in our films and television shows.  To prove that, we are forming a new theatrical label and a direct-to-DVD business so that we may provide the proper amount of attention on this very important issue.

Our New Theatrical Label is called "Manka Bros. She-atrical" - a label made for women by women (except for a few men that will be involved in the development and greenlighting processes).

Our new direct-to-DVD business is "Manka Bros. She-V-D".  She-V-D is a very exciting new idea that will bring important female issues to the masses.  This won't be the standard fare chicks in prison stuff (unless that's what the story calls for).

All of the scripts made by Manka Bros. She-atrical and Manka Bros. She-V-D will be approved by Gloria Allred.  We appreciate her many phone calls and her persistence on this issue.  We've always wanted to do this sort of thing but she really got us moving faster.  Thanks Gloria.

Gloria Allred:  Thank you, Khan.  It will be a pleasure working with you.  I have the ordered the boycott against Manka Bros. to end.  You're off the hook... for now.

[laughter]

Khan Manka, Jr.:  You're a great, great woman. 

So, come on, Manka Bros. employees, let's get behind these new ventures and help to make women part of our future.

Khan Manka, Jr. - Chairman & CEO - Manka Bros. Studios

Warner Bros. has come to their senses!  Finally, someone agrees with Manka Bros.  We've stayed away from female leads in movies for years but where is our parade?!  It's been a long hard fight to get to this point - BUT WE DID IT! 

And before any women's rights groups come down on us, remember, our casting policy was actually started by a chick - our head of the Manka Bros. Theatrical Group, Robin Rafe - and she's with me right now.

ROBIN RAFE:  Thanks, Khan.  This is, indeed, a great day for the movie business!  We're no longer forced to suckle on the teat that is 'female leads in movies'!  We can now, without shame, hire Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise, Russell Crowe, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon - or any of the other big male stars in scripts that we had originally set aside for women.  What an amazing day!

 

Khan Manka:  So, let's hear for the men of Hollywood!  Keep on rocking in the free world!  You're next DISNEY!  Come join the party.

Khan Manka, Jr. - Chairman & CEO - Manka Bros. Studios - The World's Largest Media Company

He told that a bunch of our intellectual property has appeared on something called YouTube.  If this is true, THIS CAN NOT STAND!  Perhaps we should sue them into the stone age (or perhaps just acquire them outright).  We owns them? 

Please get back to me immediately!  THIS IS A RED ALERT!

Khan Manka, Jr. - Chairman & CEO - Manka Bros. Studios - The World's Largest Media Company