November 2007 Archives

I am writing to you from my winter home in Costa Rica.  Yesterday, I was so frightened by the hordes of short, ugly women and grizzled, lanky men marching in front of our studio, I told my driver Dirk to just keep on driving down Saticoy Street.  By the time we had reached Woodman Ave., I instructed Dirk to head to the Van Nuys aiport.

What can I say about the tragedy which has befallen all of us?  Manka has always viewed our product as "your prescription for entertainment".  What these "writers" are doing is akin to a doctor denying a dying child a prescription for much needed medicine.  For shame.

It floors me that these "writers" make themselves out to be the underdogs in this fight.  Underdogs?!?  There's a gazillion of them.  Carrying weapons!  Need I point out there's only like six of us running these corporate giants.  Gazillion versus six.  You do the math.

Here's the 411, "creative geniuses":  we don't make a dime off DVDs.  Just ask our accounting department.  Our online division is bleeding money.  The gift shop hasn't been in the black for years.  I got 6,000 Baker's Dozen coffee mugs I can't move!

On the flight down here, I guess I drank a little too much Patron, because I got deep with myself.  Deep and dark.  In that darkness, I apparently wrote the following passage:

"Revolution is exciting, but how often does it amount in something good?  Yes, the French managed to kick Marie Antoinette out of office, but what of that?  Do you really want to be watching French films?  In the course of history there's been perhaps one worthwhile revolution and that was OURS.  But that was an issue of 'taxation without representation', and if there's one thing this industry does not lack, it's representation!"

Message to Tina Fey, Jay Leno and Eva Longoria:  stop feeding these pricks on the picket lines!  They're starving artists, let them starve for fuck sake!