Reel Suite - July 1, 2008

Happy July, my Blog-a-holics.  I'll be honest with you - it's been a difficult week for me.  I was informed by our HR department here at Manka Bros. that I was in violation of our ethics policy due to my night job as a stripper at Beefcakes in Panorama City.  As a result, I was forced sever ties with the club or lose my position as Junior V.P. in Profits and Participations.  Most unfortunate because I had grown addicted to the joy of disrobing in front of trailer park latinas and expressing myself artistically.  Today, I am but a child whose toy choo choo has been unceremoniously torn from his clutches.  But I perservere.
 

Friday night, I was asked by my superiors to check out an opening night showing of the Pixar film "Wall-E" and take notes about the demographic in attendance.  It was a fascinating experiment.  Despite its G rating, there were mostly adults standing in line with me.  In fact, 70% appeared to be 25 or older.  The people I interviewed said they would see anything Pixar released, even if the characters were talking office products.  They were tired of "Love Guru" and "Zohan" dick and fart jokes and were craving a romance between two synthetic organisms.  Scanning the crowd, I was surprised to see my neighbor Carina emerging from a Chipotle restaurant.  I hadn't seen her since I took her to Cannes and she ran off with Gael Garcia Bernal.  She ran up and gave me a big hug and apologized for the way we left things, saying that Gael turned out to be some OCD freak who would often curl up in the corner of a room and cry for hours on end.  Amazing lover with an enormous penis who made her come more than any other man, but a real nutjob.  I asked her if she wanted to see the movie with me and she accepted.
 
On the way into the theater, we hardly said a word to each other.  No words were necessary.  She and I had something sweetly telepathic going on.  Almost otherwordly.  We both stared in awe as Wall-E and Eve romantically glided through outer space together, leaving a trail of stardust.  Carina turned to me and said, "Awwwwwww...."  When they finally held hands, I reached out and took Carina's hand.  She quickly pulled away, dumping her nachos on my head before sprinting out of the auditorium.  Which I believe in her native Nicaragua is a symbol of growing affection for the opposite sex.  On my way out, I saw her tonguing the popcorn guy, but I think I have her right where I want her.
 
"Wall-E's" $62 million haul and incredible crossover appeal should be a real lesson for Manka's animation development department (A.D.D.)  Our upcoming "Mobsters", about wacky Cosa Nostra lobsters under the sea, may not have the saccharine elements audiences are craving right now.  There's a war on, people!  The economy's in the crapper!  George Carlin is dead!  We need to make animated films about two squeaky metal garbage cans who find love in a magical alleyway, or a postal scale who pines away for a newfangled grocery store produce scale.  I'm just spitballing here!  Think of the millions we'd make opening weekend!  A.D.D.: get to work on it!
 
FYI - next week I will be attending the annual Profits and Participations symposium in Virginia City, Montana.  So my next entry will be on July 15.  Also - I'm thinking of installing a stripper pole in my townhouse and having strip parties.  Manka employees: if I did that, how many of you would attend?  Let's get a dialogue going here!