I Hate The Olympics

The Olympics are stupid.  Who cares who can run faster or throw a lead ball further?  I could care less. 

In WWII it didn't matter who could shoot better or who was the better, more dedicated soldier, we won that war because we had bigger bombs.

The Chinese have shown how to make Communism work.  By spending and making money.  Get ready for an invasion in a few years.  On TV, we see all the fancy buildings that they built.  What we didn't see is all the fancy bombs and military hardware that they built during the same time.  The building boom in China is a just a facade as they prepare to invade the world.  I'll be dead but THOSE DAMN KIDS are going to have to fight them.  Sorry, Snotty Scotty, it's bamboo shoots up your finger nails.  That's what you get for trampling Mrs. Aldrich's daisies.

On TV, they just showed some lady swimmer from the East Lansing area that won some stupid medal.  So what?!  The only profession you can have from swimming is to be a swimming teacher. 

Why don't they show The Green Berets on TV instead?  That's more inspirational than some idiot swimming back and forth in a pool.

Don't THOSE DAMN KIDS know what is ahead of them in life.  A miserable job with a miserable boss, you'll watch a lot of TV and eventually have a bag attached to you so you can take a shit.  That's your future, kiddies!

So stop all that running!

Stop all that laughing!

Stop all that crying!

Stop trying and start drinking!

I'll talk at you next week....

Lester Aldrich is a freelance columnist for Octogenarian Magazine.  Manka Bros. Studios is not responsible for any action by our freelance writers.  If Mr. Aldrich actually kills someone, that's his problem. Manka Bros. cannot be held accountable.