Manka Bros., Khan Manka, OnMedea, Jill Kennedy, Michael Bay, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Ehren Kruger, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Shia LaBeouf, Hugo Weaving, Ken Jeong, Josh Duhamel, Frances McDormand, Patrick Dempsey, John Malkovich, Leonard Nimoy, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro, Alan Tudyk, Peter Cullen, Frank Welker, Tom Kenny, James Avery, Glenn Morshower, Keiko Agena, Julie White, Kevin Dunn, Charles Adler, Lester Speight, Robert Foxworth, Kym Whitley, Mark Ryan, Jess Harnell, Kathleen Gati, LaMonica Garrett, Anthony Azizi, Elena Kolpachikova, David Hutchison, David St. James, Jack Donner, Kevin Sizemore, Chris Sheffield, Lindsey Ginter, Brett Stimely, Markiss McFadden, Steve Hersack, Darren O'Hare, Darcy Leutzinger, Robert Herrick, James D. Weston, Scott C. Roe, Bob Kaye, Michael Loeffelholz, Rob Guzzo, Joel Shock, Denny Torich, Annie Hsu, Jason Endicott, Matt McVay, Morgan Williams, Bryan Basil, Nathaniel Best, Anthony Bonaventura, Ryan Buckley, Ken Bulcroft, Michael Daniel Cassady, Jason Adam Chaffin, Larry Clarke, Cameron Comstock, Jordan Michael Coulson, Thomas Crawford, Adam Critchlow, Andrew Daly, John Dezsi, Gena Ellis, John Farrer, Maile Flanagan, Reese Foster, Aaron Garrido, Corin Grant, Marie Grujicic-Delage, Terrick Guindy, Niki Haze, William Haze, Jessie Heiman, David Hill, Jasyn Jefferies, Haytham Kandil, Josh Kelly, Kristoffer Kjornes, Inna Korobkina, Erik Kowalski, Scott Krinsky, Joel Lambert, Scott Levy, Brett Lynch, Noelle Lynn, Taylor McCluskey, Alecia McGill, Ray Mirabal, Michael Morana, Prida Moreza, Paul Morgan, Dean Napolitano, Jason Neisewander, Daniel OKeefe, Michael Palma, Kenny Bates, Ian Bryce, Allegra Clegg, Matthew Cohan Tom DeSanto, Lorenzo di Bonaventura, Brian Goldner, Michael Kase, Michelle McGonagle, Don Murphy, Steven Spielberg, Mark Vahradian, Steve Jablonsky, Amir M. Mokri, Roger Barton, William Goldenberg, Joel Negron, Denise Chamian, Nigel Phelps, Ralph Bertelle, Allegra Clegg

Transformers: Dark Of The Moon

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, OnMedea, Jill Kennedy, Michael Bay, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Ehren Kruger, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Shia LaBeouf, Hugo Weaving, Ken Jeong, Josh Duhamel, Frances McDormand, Patrick Dempsey, John Malkovich, Leonard Nimoy, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro, Alan Tudyk, Peter Cullen, Frank Welker, Tom Kenny, James Avery, Glenn Morshower, Keiko Agena, Julie White, Kevin Dunn, Charles Adler, Lester Speight, Robert Foxworth, Kym Whitley, Mark Ryan, Jess Harnell, Kathleen Gati, LaMonica Garrett, Anthony Azizi, Elena Kolpachikova, David Hutchison, David St. James, Jack Donner, Kevin Sizemore, Chris Sheffield, Lindsey Ginter, Brett Stimely, Markiss McFadden, Steve Hersack, Darren O'Hare, Darcy Leutzinger, Robert Herrick, James D. Weston, Scott C. Roe, Bob Kaye, Michael Loeffelholz, Rob Guzzo, Joel Shock, Denny Torich, Annie Hsu, Jason Endicott, Matt McVay, Morgan Williams, Bryan Basil, Nathaniel Best, Anthony Bonaventura, Ryan Buckley, Ken Bulcroft, Michael Daniel Cassady, Jason Adam Chaffin, Larry Clarke, Cameron Comstock, Jordan Michael Coulson, Thomas Crawford, Adam Critchlow, Andrew Daly, John Dezsi, Gena Ellis, John Farrer, Maile Flanagan, Reese Foster, Aaron Garrido, Corin Grant, Marie Grujicic-Delage, Terrick Guindy, Niki Haze, William Haze, Jessie Heiman, David Hill, Jasyn Jefferies, Haytham Kandil, Josh Kelly, Kristoffer Kjornes, Inna Korobkina, Erik Kowalski, Scott Krinsky, Joel Lambert, Scott Levy, Brett Lynch, Noelle Lynn, Taylor McCluskey, Alecia McGill, Ray Mirabal, Michael Morana, Prida Moreza, Paul Morgan, Dean Napolitano, Jason Neisewander, Daniel OKeefe, Michael Palma, Kenny Bates, Ian Bryce, Allegra Clegg, Matthew Cohan Tom DeSanto, Lorenzo di Bonaventura, Brian Goldner, Michael Kase, Michelle McGonagle, Don Murphy, Steven Spielberg, Mark Vahradian, Steve Jablonsky, Amir M. Mokri, Roger Barton, William Goldenberg, Joel Negron, Denise Chamian, Nigel Phelps, Ralph Bertelle, Allegra CleggTransformers: Dark Of The Moon

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

First, a discredit:  I love Megan Fox (Jennifer’s Body – yowza!  I was almost made to forgot Ginnifer Goodwin!).

And Shia LeBoeuf now credit can be given for the giving of the meat(!) while she was with her 90210 husband?

Not cool, Shia… not cool.

Now to the reviewing.

Michael Bay has been a director always who has the lowest standard given free rein in his films.

Feminine curves (these are good), the delight in the perfectly shaped poses from the most daring of view (that’s right), the male senses, polished stainless bodies that cast a sea of lens flare into the cameras (look out JJ Abrams!) and real heroes in uniform who carry the backlight in distinctive silhouettes.

The real guy who sleeps in each one of us suggests that it displays them on the hairy chest and shouts out a fervent Tarzan screaming in the world (much like me).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, OnMedea, Jill Kennedy, Michael Bay, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Ehren Kruger, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Shia LaBeouf, Hugo Weaving, Ken Jeong, Josh Duhamel, Frances McDormand, Patrick Dempsey, John Malkovich, Leonard Nimoy, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro, Alan Tudyk, Peter Cullen, Frank Welker, Tom Kenny, James Avery, Glenn Morshower, Keiko Agena, Julie White, Kevin Dunn, Charles Adler, Lester Speight, Robert Foxworth, Kym Whitley, Mark Ryan, Jess Harnell, Kathleen Gati, LaMonica Garrett, Anthony Azizi, Elena Kolpachikova, David Hutchison, David St. James, Jack Donner, Kevin Sizemore, Chris Sheffield, Lindsey Ginter, Brett Stimely, Markiss McFadden, Steve Hersack, Darren O'Hare, Darcy Leutzinger, Robert Herrick, James D. Weston, Scott C. Roe, Bob Kaye, Michael Loeffelholz, Rob Guzzo, Joel Shock, Denny Torich, Annie Hsu, Jason Endicott, Matt McVay, Morgan Williams, Bryan Basil, Nathaniel Best, Anthony Bonaventura, Ryan Buckley, Ken Bulcroft, Michael Daniel Cassady, Jason Adam Chaffin, Larry Clarke, Cameron Comstock, Jordan Michael Coulson, Thomas Crawford, Adam Critchlow, Andrew Daly, John Dezsi, Gena Ellis, John Farrer, Maile Flanagan, Reese Foster, Aaron Garrido, Corin Grant, Marie Grujicic-Delage, Terrick Guindy, Niki Haze, William Haze, Jessie Heiman, David Hill, Jasyn Jefferies, Haytham Kandil, Josh Kelly, Kristoffer Kjornes, Inna Korobkina, Erik Kowalski, Scott Krinsky, Joel Lambert, Scott Levy, Brett Lynch, Noelle Lynn, Taylor McCluskey, Alecia McGill, Ray Mirabal, Michael Morana, Prida Moreza, Paul Morgan, Dean Napolitano, Jason Neisewander, Daniel OKeefe, Michael Palma, Kenny Bates, Ian Bryce, Allegra Clegg, Matthew Cohan Tom DeSanto, Lorenzo di Bonaventura, Brian Goldner, Michael Kase, Michelle McGonagle, Don Murphy, Steven Spielberg, Mark Vahradian, Steve Jablonsky, Amir M. Mokri, Roger Barton, William Goldenberg, Joel Negron, Denise Chamian, Nigel Phelps, Ralph Bertelle, Allegra CleggBut while the introverted and sensitive wearer scrapes with his pencil on his forehead and dismisses a disillusioned sigh (my brother, Jarri, he is a real forehead pencil scraper).

Here is Michael Bay talking:  “A real guy needs a movie with testosterone in the bloodstream, and an eye for the essentials: cars, butts, aliens (not in that order)!” 

Transformers the 3rd: Dark of the Moon (Lazer Floyd!) is the film revelation and epileptic overkill, which the audience and the cinema owners were hoping for so long.  The stylized action vindicated the over-priced 3D effect, and vice versa.  The humor may now again be laughed heartily without interfering on the borderline banality of the second part. 

Transformers the 3rd takes a whopping 157 minutes and operates on a broad level.  Megan Fox’s ass and marble belly while leaving a gaping hole (don’t even think it, Shia), but Rosie Huntington-Whiteley gazelle legs and an absence of self-esteem affects what sexy outfits, makes the loss more than up for it (almost, but I admit that she is lengthy!) 

Michael Bay will never grow up and his camera never not move and that’s why we love him?

What?

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, OnMedea, Jill Kennedy, Michael Bay, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Ehren Kruger, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Shia LaBeouf, Hugo Weaving, Ken Jeong, Josh Duhamel, Frances McDormand, Patrick Dempsey, John Malkovich, Leonard Nimoy, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro, Alan Tudyk, Peter Cullen, Frank Welker, Tom Kenny, James Avery, Glenn Morshower, Keiko Agena, Julie White, Kevin Dunn, Charles Adler, Lester Speight, Robert Foxworth, Kym Whitley, Mark Ryan, Jess Harnell, Kathleen Gati, LaMonica Garrett, Anthony Azizi, Elena Kolpachikova, David Hutchison, David St. James, Jack Donner, Kevin Sizemore, Chris Sheffield, Lindsey Ginter, Brett Stimely, Markiss McFadden, Steve Hersack, Darren O'Hare, Darcy Leutzinger, Robert Herrick, James D. Weston, Scott C. Roe, Bob Kaye, Michael Loeffelholz, Rob Guzzo, Joel Shock, Denny Torich, Annie Hsu, Jason Endicott, Matt McVay, Morgan Williams, Bryan Basil, Nathaniel Best, Anthony Bonaventura, Ryan Buckley, Ken Bulcroft, Michael Daniel Cassady, Jason Adam Chaffin, Larry Clarke, Cameron Comstock, Jordan Michael Coulson, Thomas Crawford, Adam Critchlow, Andrew Daly, John Dezsi, Gena Ellis, John Farrer, Maile Flanagan, Reese Foster, Aaron Garrido, Corin Grant, Marie Grujicic-Delage, Terrick Guindy, Niki Haze, William Haze, Jessie Heiman, David Hill, Jasyn Jefferies, Haytham Kandil, Josh Kelly, Kristoffer Kjornes, Inna Korobkina, Erik Kowalski, Scott Krinsky, Joel Lambert, Scott Levy, Brett Lynch, Noelle Lynn, Taylor McCluskey, Alecia McGill, Ray Mirabal, Michael Morana, Prida Moreza, Paul Morgan, Dean Napolitano, Jason Neisewander, Daniel OKeefe, Michael Palma, Kenny Bates, Ian Bryce, Allegra Clegg, Matthew Cohan Tom DeSanto, Lorenzo di Bonaventura, Brian Goldner, Michael Kase, Michelle McGonagle, Don Murphy, Steven Spielberg, Mark Vahradian, Steve Jablonsky, Amir M. Mokri, Roger Barton, William Goldenberg, Joel Negron, Denise Chamian, Nigel Phelps, Ralph Bertelle, Allegra CleggSince it not hurt that the series itself basically just over and over and fail to real surprises.  The sensitive and thoughtful boy agrees, in some respects (to be sure, I’ll ask brother Jarri later).

The 3D effect is due to the native style handsomely turned out – but just as volatile as the paint on the Autobots.  Also, the content of amateurism from Transformers 2 will be largely spared.

If you still remember the slogan from the second film recalls says that “Only a Prime can kill a Prime” – which is to capture the action of the third part in full: “Only a Prime can resurrect a Prime.”

Knowing about these facts once swallowed, the rest of the film stripped of leaves before the mind’s eye and the viewer is unaffected from surprises.  But the Transformers movies were anyway never looked for their offense, at least, is an old saying – so old as to be not understandable.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, OnMedea, Jill Kennedy, Michael Bay, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Ehren Kruger, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Shia LaBeouf, Hugo Weaving, Ken Jeong, Josh Duhamel, Frances McDormand, Patrick Dempsey, John Malkovich, Leonard Nimoy, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro, Alan Tudyk, Peter Cullen, Frank Welker, Tom Kenny, James Avery, Glenn Morshower, Keiko Agena, Julie White, Kevin Dunn, Charles Adler, Lester Speight, Robert Foxworth, Kym Whitley, Mark Ryan, Jess Harnell, Kathleen Gati, LaMonica Garrett, Anthony Azizi, Elena Kolpachikova, David Hutchison, David St. James, Jack Donner, Kevin Sizemore, Chris Sheffield, Lindsey Ginter, Brett Stimely, Markiss McFadden, Steve Hersack, Darren O'Hare, Darcy Leutzinger, Robert Herrick, James D. Weston, Scott C. Roe, Bob Kaye, Michael Loeffelholz, Rob Guzzo, Joel Shock, Denny Torich, Annie Hsu, Jason Endicott, Matt McVay, Morgan Williams, Bryan Basil, Nathaniel Best, Anthony Bonaventura, Ryan Buckley, Ken Bulcroft, Michael Daniel Cassady, Jason Adam Chaffin, Larry Clarke, Cameron Comstock, Jordan Michael Coulson, Thomas Crawford, Adam Critchlow, Andrew Daly, John Dezsi, Gena Ellis, John Farrer, Maile Flanagan, Reese Foster, Aaron Garrido, Corin Grant, Marie Grujicic-Delage, Terrick Guindy, Niki Haze, William Haze, Jessie Heiman, David Hill, Jasyn Jefferies, Haytham Kandil, Josh Kelly, Kristoffer Kjornes, Inna Korobkina, Erik Kowalski, Scott Krinsky, Joel Lambert, Scott Levy, Brett Lynch, Noelle Lynn, Taylor McCluskey, Alecia McGill, Ray Mirabal, Michael Morana, Prida Moreza, Paul Morgan, Dean Napolitano, Jason Neisewander, Daniel OKeefe, Michael Palma, Kenny Bates, Ian Bryce, Allegra Clegg, Matthew Cohan Tom DeSanto, Lorenzo di Bonaventura, Brian Goldner, Michael Kase, Michelle McGonagle, Don Murphy, Steven Spielberg, Mark Vahradian, Steve Jablonsky, Amir M. Mokri, Roger Barton, William Goldenberg, Joel Negron, Denise Chamian, Nigel Phelps, Ralph Bertelle, Allegra CleggNevertheless, a fairly logical and understandable sequence of actions will be gratefully accepted.  The more effortless a film executes its structural plot points, the more positive the effect on the film – what Bay’s third try masters solid.

But the fact remains that the film series has reached a dead end.  The same hero stereotype, the same car brands, the same threats, same jokes.

With the new Shia LaBeouf (asshole!) again on the site itself needs love are back at 0.  It was a physical impossibility, that could turn Transformers the 3rd worse than its immediate predecessor – and this is proven correct.

But as B.B. King sang, “the thrill is gone”, Michael Bay‘s robot toys have lost their appeal, what remains is a pile of crap metal that sparkles in sunlight and impressed by its size – but no more.

Size doesn’t matter.  Which is what Megan probably said to the Shia meat (Carey Mulligan, too).  We can dream.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonene (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  Once again, The Glee Project! I’m rooting for the munchkin and the bitch!  You?

11 comments

  1. Jenny Murphy · June 28, 2011

    Awesome review, Kimmo! I have no idea what you’re talking about but “Michael Bay will never grow up and camera never not move!”

  2. Fred Thomas Fred · June 28, 2011

    I’ll pass and wait for the movie on 3-D TV! Yes!

  3. Khan Manka, Jr. · June 28, 2011

    Of course this is a terrible movie. There’s no doubt. I feel a little dumber after having seen it. I wanted to leave after 10 minutes but decided to stick it out like an idiot and see how strong my ears were.

    • Nate · June 28, 2011

      I love it when people exaggerate to the point were they sound retarded. ^v^

      • Khan Manka, Jr. · June 28, 2011

        No exaggeration. That movie sucked. And you suck for defending that piece of shit.

        • Devin · June 28, 2011

          Your a ass for saying the movie sucked. The movie was amazing, best of the 3. Bay is an “ok” director, and who cares if he doesnt grow up, who doesnt love action, shooting, robots, cars, girls, and explosions? Maybe girls…..but im pretty sure every guy ive ever met LOVES all of those things. If the camera is moving….who cares? it makes you REALLY feel like your there. If you cant accept a good action movie that helps people remember there great childhood, and brings back something that people loved…… you just need to just go crawl some where and die, because you obviously dont have any compassion, heart, brains, or child-like sense of wonder in you.

  4. Heavy G · June 28, 2011

    The Glee Project? The bitch is annoying, but hot. Me likee.

  5. Carrie · June 28, 2011

    What the hell is he talking about?

  6. Chubby · June 28, 2011

    Hats off to whoeevr wrote this up and posted it.

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