The Smurfs [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo on Kino, The Smurfs, Jean Luc DeFanti, Peyo, Raja Gosnell, J. David Stern, David Weiss, Jay Scherick, David Ronn, Hank Azaria, Neil Patrick Harris, Jayma Mays, Sofia Vergara, Tim Gunn, Madison McKinley, Meg Phillips, Julie Chang, Roger Clark, Mark Doherty, Minglie Chen, Sean Kenin, Victor Pagan, Mahadeo Shivraj, Adria Baratta, Paula Pizzi, Andrew Sellon, Julianne Rigoglioso, Daria Rae Figlo, Bradley Gosnell, Heidi Armbruster, Finnerty Steeves, John Speredakos, Skai Jackson, Alex Hall, Eric Redgate, Jojo Gonzalez, Scott Dillin, Tyree Michael Simpson, Sean Ringgold, Mario D'Leon, Liz Smith, Tom Colicchio, Michael Musto, Joan Rivers, Olivia Palermo, Julia Enescu, Lauren Waggoner, Mr. Krinkle, Hank, Jonathan Winters, Alan Cumming, Katy Perry, Fred Armisen, George Lopez, Anton Yelchin, Kenan Thompson, Jeff Foxworthy, John Oliver, Wolfgang Puck, Gary Basaraba, Paul Reubens, B.J. Novak, Tom Kane, John Kassir, Joel McCrary, Frank Welker, Ben Haber, Jordan Kerner, Paul Neesan, Ezra Swerdlow, Heitor Pereira, Phil Meheux, Sabrina Plisco, Richard Hicks, David Rubin, Bill Boes, Chris Shriver, Martin Astles, Pamela May, Jayne Armstrong, Peter Thorell, Deborah Greene, Todd Bennett, William Cote, Thomas Place, K.C. Bailey, Michael Cambria, Monica Barraza, Frank Dauro, Will Bigwood, Julia Enescu, Brooke Ensign, Orlando Gonzales, Maxim Knight, Ashley Lambert, Aaron Notestine, Timothy P. O'Shea, Kyle Peck, Brittany Rostron, Leo Shvedsky, Lauren Waggoner, Keith YoungThe Smurfs

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

What the Smurf?!?

Another Smurfing CGI poopfest of the summer of pooping Smurfed-up films?

The movie studios have Smurfed us again – right up the Smurfhole.

If animated characters take on real actors, then alarm bells should ring.  Excluding again the extraordinary movie gem Beowulf (genius!), it is also already hard at all to call a movie of this kind that can convince.

Then, when a studio then tries the popular cartoon series The Smurfs and in this, is messed up, then red alert should be achieved!

Success!

Anyone who is curious nonetheless: Yes, The Smurfs is really a very weak movie that nobody has to look at – but if you do, blame only yourself (or your Smurfingly annoying mate who said it would be good – dump her now!).

Smurfs live concealed in a village, hidden from the outside world.  And it also has a good reason: Among others, it has the evil wizard Gargamel (Hank Azaria) who dicks with Smurfs (not literally – it’s kids movie!).  But eventually he succeeds and his cat, Azrael (who does not dick), still make the village identified and found.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo on Kino, The Smurfs, Jean Luc DeFanti, Peyo, Raja Gosnell, J. David Stern, David Weiss, Jay Scherick, David Ronn, Hank Azaria, Neil Patrick Harris, Jayma Mays, Sofia Vergara, Tim Gunn, Madison McKinley, Meg Phillips, Julie Chang, Roger Clark, Mark Doherty, Minglie Chen, Sean Kenin, Victor Pagan, Mahadeo Shivraj, Adria Baratta, Paula Pizzi, Andrew Sellon, Julianne Rigoglioso, Daria Rae Figlo, Bradley Gosnell, Heidi Armbruster, Finnerty Steeves, John Speredakos, Skai Jackson, Alex Hall, Eric Redgate, Jojo Gonzalez, Scott Dillin, Tyree Michael Simpson, Sean Ringgold, Mario D'Leon, Liz Smith, Tom Colicchio, Michael Musto, Joan Rivers, Olivia Palermo, Julia Enescu, Lauren Waggoner, Mr. Krinkle, Hank, Jonathan Winters, Alan Cumming, Katy Perry, Fred Armisen, George Lopez, Anton Yelchin, Kenan Thompson, Jeff Foxworthy, John Oliver, Wolfgang Puck, Gary Basaraba, Paul Reubens, B.J. Novak, Tom Kane, John Kassir, Joel McCrary, Frank Welker, Ben Haber, Jordan Kerner, Paul Neesan, Ezra Swerdlow, Heitor Pereira, Phil Meheux, Sabrina Plisco, Richard Hicks, David Rubin, Bill Boes, Chris Shriver, Martin Astles, Pamela May, Jayne Armstrong, Peter Thorell, Deborah Greene, Todd Bennett, William Cote, Thomas Place, K.C. Bailey, Michael Cambria, Monica Barraza, Frank Dauro, Will Bigwood, Julia Enescu, Brooke Ensign, Orlando Gonzales, Maxim Knight, Ashley Lambert, Aaron Notestine, Timothy P. O'Shea, Kyle Peck, Brittany Rostron, Leo Shvedsky, Lauren Waggoner, Keith YoungDuring their flight, a little Smurf group, including Papa Smurf and Smurfette (whore), in a magic vortex that brings them into an alien world: New York City – in and of our time.

Then, even Smurfs can’t get a ticket to Book of Mormon (sad Smurfs).  And since Gargamel was also to New York, they seek refuge with Grace (Jayma Mays boring in Glee.  Have sex with Mr. Schuester already!) and Patrick (Neil Patrick Harris – ladykiller!), who are trying to help the Smurfs on their way back.

The concept is simple: Take a well-known franchise (in this case, The Smurfs), invent a hair-raising story line and try with as simplistic gags at least a little pep in the boring construct bring.

Or not. 

The Smurfs makes it quite simple and shipped the blue little people with the help of a rather cheap gimmick in our world to be found (this is confusing).

As a consequence of a classic culture clash show is taken off, but unfortunately it lacks the rear to the front of even a semi-good idea.

The highlight is when there already is a hopelessly misplaced Gargamel heedless of a braking car.

Hurp durp.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo on Kino, The Smurfs, Jean Luc DeFanti, Peyo, Raja Gosnell, J. David Stern, David Weiss, Jay Scherick, David Ronn, Hank Azaria, Neil Patrick Harris, Jayma Mays, Sofia Vergara, Tim Gunn, Madison McKinley, Meg Phillips, Julie Chang, Roger Clark, Mark Doherty, Minglie Chen, Sean Kenin, Victor Pagan, Mahadeo Shivraj, Adria Baratta, Paula Pizzi, Andrew Sellon, Julianne Rigoglioso, Daria Rae Figlo, Bradley Gosnell, Heidi Armbruster, Finnerty Steeves, John Speredakos, Skai Jackson, Alex Hall, Eric Redgate, Jojo Gonzalez, Scott Dillin, Tyree Michael Simpson, Sean Ringgold, Mario D'Leon, Liz Smith, Tom Colicchio, Michael Musto, Joan Rivers, Olivia Palermo, Julia Enescu, Lauren Waggoner, Mr. Krinkle, Hank, Jonathan Winters, Alan Cumming, Katy Perry, Fred Armisen, George Lopez, Anton Yelchin, Kenan Thompson, Jeff Foxworthy, John Oliver, Wolfgang Puck, Gary Basaraba, Paul Reubens, B.J. Novak, Tom Kane, John Kassir, Joel McCrary, Frank Welker, Ben Haber, Jordan Kerner, Paul Neesan, Ezra Swerdlow, Heitor Pereira, Phil Meheux, Sabrina Plisco, Richard Hicks, David Rubin, Bill Boes, Chris Shriver, Martin Astles, Pamela May, Jayne Armstrong, Peter Thorell, Deborah Greene, Todd Bennett, William Cote, Thomas Place, K.C. Bailey, Michael Cambria, Monica Barraza, Frank Dauro, Will Bigwood, Julia Enescu, Brooke Ensign, Orlando Gonzales, Maxim Knight, Ashley Lambert, Aaron Notestine, Timothy P. O'Shea, Kyle Peck, Brittany Rostron, Leo Shvedsky, Lauren Waggoner, Keith YoungYes, The Smurfs actually tried it with only the very stale gags that were boring 25 years ago (or more – think vaudeville… IF YOU DARE!) and have since been contradicted by constantly chewed just such ideas and soulless, embarrassing movies.

For any half-experienced viewers of the film ensures only for a large dollop of boredom and who is looking for something for children, should be no problems have a better alternative to find the pool of wonderful animated films.

Even Neil Patrick Harris fans can save the visit as the How I Met Your Mother star burned here is just merciless.

Something like The Smurfs comes out just when they (money grubbing studio tycoons like Khan Manka, Jr.) tries again every last cent out of an old franchise to push.

The story is bleh, the gags are all lukewarm damp squishy sandwich and otherwise it is primarily a high dumbness.

View may well be the only very young audience, but otherwise everyone else of the moviegoers already implemented have seen better.

If I had paid any Smurfing money to see this Smurf-fest… well, I would have yelled “Smurf off and die!”  Smurfing Smurf Smurfers.  So, one thumb – Smurfing… downward.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  This learned from The Glee Project – Ryan Murphy is a tool.

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Comments

  1. Death to Smurfs on July 30, 2011 at 9:38 am said:

    God this looks bad. ugh. What a waste of time. I would prefer to pound myself in the head with a hammer for 80 minutes.

  2. I decide go see the smurfs because the critics don´t know anything.

  3. Don't go on July 30, 2011 at 10:49 am said:

    I decided to see it also and wish I didn’t. I should have listened to the critics. It was terrible.

  4. What The Fuck on July 30, 2011 at 9:13 pm said:

    You know, I bet Smurfette really is a whore.

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