New Year’s Eve [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, New Year's Eve, Garry Marshall, Katherine Fugate, Michelle Pfeiffer, Zac Efron, Charlotte Marshall-Fricker, Fiona Choi, Mary Marguerite Keane, Michael Mandell, Patrick Reale, Robert De Niro, Halle Berry, Cary Elwes, Alyssa Milano, Common, Barbara Marshall, Jessica Biel, Seth Meyers, Sarah Paulson, Til Schweiger, Carla Gugino, Amber Bela Muse, Peter Allen Vogt, Ross Ryman, Kal Parekh, Katherine Heigl, Jon Bon Jovi, Sofia Vergara, Russell Peters, Serena Poon, Sarge, Ashton Kutcher, Lea Michele, James Belushi, Lillian Lifflander, Sarah Jessica Parker, Abigail Breslin, Jake T. Austin, Mara Davi, Jacklyn Miller, Cassidy Reiff, Nat Wolff, Kendra Jain, Julia Randall, Christian Fortune, Tatyana Disla, Chealy Phoung, Marvin Braverman, Alexandra Guthy, Denise Violante, Katherine McNamara, Norman Bukofzer, Beth Kennedy, Josh Duhamel, Joey McIntyre, Jackie Seiden, Sean O'Bryan, Larry Miller, Jack McGee, Yeardley Smith, Benjamin McGowan, Jon-Christian Costable, Juliette Allen-Angelo, Penny Marshall, Drena De Niro, Vanessa Mendoza, Christine Lakin, Sandra Taylor, Shea Curry, Earl Rose, Johnny DeBrito, Samuel E. Mitchell, Amare Stoudemire, Cherry Jones, Hilary Swank, Ludacris, Kathleen Marshall, Joey Sorge, Rob Nagle, Matthew Walker, Wedil David, David Valcin, Stephanie Fabian, Patrick Collins, Pat Battle, Tom Hines, Greg Wilson, Hector Elizondo, Anna White, Sam Marshall, Susan Silver, Emily Moss Wilson, Bob Weston, Lucy Woodwar, Stephanie Alexander, Nicole Michele Sobchack, Anna Kulinova, Ryle J. Neale, Lily Marshall-Fricker, Lori Marshall, Ryan Seacrest, Matthew Broderick, Angel Dillemuth, Rosemary Howard, Ryss, Richard Brener, Toby Emmerich, Heather Hall, Mike Karz, Diana Pokomy, Wayne Allan Rice, Josie Rosen, John Debney, Charles Minsky, Michael Tronick, Amanda Mackey Johnson, Cathy Sandrich, Mark Friedberg, Kim Jennings, Gary Jones, Vivian Baker, Jerry DeCarlo, Michelle Morrissey, Diana Pokomy, David Catalano, Alyssa Frankel, Jennifer Roberts, David Venghaus, Kimberly Harris, Ric Schnupp, Jon Taylor, Chris Barnes, William Cote, Declan Mulvey, Kat Spiess, Jodi Ameson, Kimberly Arnold, Kelley Beaman, Katie Bova, Beverly Cole, Jen Day, Sam Day, Carol DePasquale, John Edmundson, Toni Embry, Lindsay Feldman, Julie Kuehndorf, Ruben Malaret, Vanessa Mendoza, Julia Muggia, Chelsea Shanders, Marisa Taylor, Canella Williams, Emily Moss Wilson, Peter Pamela Rose, Greg WilsonNew Year’s Eve

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

New Year’s Eve.

Really?

A painless romantic comedy with 20 big stars about 10 different stories twisted together with a background in New York (New York).

Beyond the site (New York, dumb ass), time is the most important parameter which moves the narrative academic standards (I’m so high), and we are in the New Year’s Eve and all shows on first sight cheerful and festive.

Bullshit.

So, is it better than “The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)”?

No.  Hell no.

The characters through many emotional and less comical situations are easily predictable in a pleasant but dull (like an AM/PM hamburger, yummy, and yet gross) in the whole movie follows the same recipe last year’s “Valentine’s Day” by the same director (Garry Marshall – who has giant big teeth… creepy).

That “little bit of everything” – loves all types and ages.

Here of course the nature of the celebration that unites or reunites families (as opposed to“Valentine’s Day” where we saw first young love, but without guilt and boners) seeing traumatic relationships and people in crisis who are required to overcome the wounds of the past or to retrieve media a second chance (like you, Kyrle – your obsession with pecs was your undoing – I said it!).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, New Year's Eve, Garry Marshall, Katherine Fugate, Michelle Pfeiffer, Zac Efron, Charlotte Marshall-Fricker, Fiona Choi, Mary Marguerite Keane, Michael Mandell, Patrick Reale, Robert De Niro, Halle Berry, Cary Elwes, Alyssa Milano, Common, Barbara Marshall, Jessica Biel, Seth Meyers, Sarah Paulson, Til Schweiger, Carla Gugino, Amber Bela Muse, Peter Allen Vogt, Ross Ryman, Kal Parekh, Katherine Heigl, Jon Bon Jovi, Sofia Vergara, Russell Peters, Serena Poon, Sarge, Ashton Kutcher, Lea Michele, James Belushi, Lillian Lifflander, Sarah Jessica Parker, Abigail Breslin, Jake T. Austin, Mara Davi, Jacklyn Miller, Cassidy Reiff, Nat Wolff, Kendra Jain, Julia Randall, Christian Fortune, Tatyana Disla, Chealy Phoung, Marvin Braverman, Alexandra Guthy, Denise Violante, Katherine McNamara, Norman Bukofzer, Beth Kennedy, Josh Duhamel, Joey McIntyre, Jackie Seiden, Sean O'Bryan, Larry Miller, Jack McGee, Yeardley Smith, Benjamin McGowan, Jon-Christian Costable, Juliette Allen-Angelo, Penny Marshall, Drena De Niro, Vanessa Mendoza, Christine Lakin, Sandra Taylor, Shea Curry, Earl Rose, Johnny DeBrito, Samuel E. Mitchell, Amare Stoudemire, Cherry Jones, Hilary Swank, Ludacris, Kathleen Marshall, Joey Sorge, Rob Nagle, Matthew Walker, Wedil David, David Valcin, Stephanie Fabian, Patrick Collins, Pat Battle, Tom Hines, Greg Wilson, Hector Elizondo, Anna White, Sam Marshall, Susan Silver, Emily Moss Wilson, Bob Weston, Lucy Woodwar, Stephanie Alexander, Nicole Michele Sobchack, Anna Kulinova, Ryle J. Neale, Lily Marshall-Fricker, Lori Marshall, Ryan Seacrest, Matthew Broderick, Angel Dillemuth, Rosemary Howard, Ryss, Richard Brener, Toby Emmerich, Heather Hall, Mike Karz, Diana Pokomy, Wayne Allan Rice, Josie Rosen, John Debney, Charles Minsky, Michael Tronick, Amanda Mackey Johnson, Cathy Sandrich, Mark Friedberg, Kim Jennings, Gary Jones, Vivian Baker, Jerry DeCarlo, Michelle Morrissey, Diana Pokomy, David Catalano, Alyssa Frankel, Jennifer Roberts, David Venghaus, Kimberly Harris, Ric Schnupp, Jon Taylor, Chris Barnes, William Cote, Declan Mulvey, Kat Spiess, Jodi Ameson, Kimberly Arnold, Kelley Beaman, Katie Bova, Beverly Cole, Jen Day, Sam Day, Carol DePasquale, John Edmundson, Toni Embry, Lindsay Feldman, Julie Kuehndorf, Ruben Malaret, Vanessa Mendoza, Julia Muggia, Chelsea Shanders, Marisa Taylor, Canella Williams, Emily Moss Wilson, Peter Pamela Rose, Greg WilsonUsually the New Year people make “self” for their mistakes and set goals for the new (or drunk, and then the regret, and then the pregnancy).

Experiential endoscopy – I think – makes the standing on the story of New YORK’S Eve – sorry, New YEAR’S Eve.

The story of an estranged, and severe ill father (Robert De Niro – he must pay the bills, poor bastard) of Hillary Swank (no character name that I remember but major boobs), responsible for the celebration in Times Square (she fails) is typical of the dramatic tone that introduces us to the plot of Big Tooth Man Director and the character of Michelle Pfeiffer (yes!) who give up everything for to live within a few hours, as did a whole life, shows that things do not always go as we dream, chasing unrealistic time.

(This is an homage to The Talking Heads, from me, Kimmo Mustonenen  I’m pretty high.)

The melancholy touches, however, is temporary and as time is pressing everyone to catch up to complete the remaining issues created some grotesque comic situations such as the birth of babies(!) by Jessica Biel.  I guess Timberlake finally got busy.  Tap it, Justin!

It is gratifying to planning something carefully and setting goals which will then happen by hard effort, but some things make nature itself …as twins.

WTF?!?

Can arrange a time for a natural phenomenon?  With the help of technology, perhaps!

(This is an homage to DEVO.  Holy crap, I may never come down!)

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, New Year's Eve, Garry Marshall, Katherine Fugate, Michelle Pfeiffer, Zac Efron, Charlotte Marshall-Fricker, Fiona Choi, Mary Marguerite Keane, Michael Mandell, Patrick Reale, Robert De Niro, Halle Berry, Cary Elwes, Alyssa Milano, Common, Barbara Marshall, Jessica Biel, Seth Meyers, Sarah Paulson, Til Schweiger, Carla Gugino, Amber Bela Muse, Peter Allen Vogt, Ross Ryman, Kal Parekh, Katherine Heigl, Jon Bon Jovi, Sofia Vergara, Russell Peters, Serena Poon, Sarge, Ashton Kutcher, Lea Michele, James Belushi, Lillian Lifflander, Sarah Jessica Parker, Abigail Breslin, Jake T. Austin, Mara Davi, Jacklyn Miller, Cassidy Reiff, Nat Wolff, Kendra Jain, Julia Randall, Christian Fortune, Tatyana Disla, Chealy Phoung, Marvin Braverman, Alexandra Guthy, Denise Violante, Katherine McNamara, Norman Bukofzer, Beth Kennedy, Josh Duhamel, Joey McIntyre, Jackie Seiden, Sean O'Bryan, Larry Miller, Jack McGee, Yeardley Smith, Benjamin McGowan, Jon-Christian Costable, Juliette Allen-Angelo, Penny Marshall, Drena De Niro, Vanessa Mendoza, Christine Lakin, Sandra Taylor, Shea Curry, Earl Rose, Johnny DeBrito, Samuel E. Mitchell, Amare Stoudemire, Cherry Jones, Hilary Swank, Ludacris, Kathleen Marshall, Joey Sorge, Rob Nagle, Matthew Walker, Wedil David, David Valcin, Stephanie Fabian, Patrick Collins, Pat Battle, Tom Hines, Greg Wilson, Hector Elizondo, Anna White, Sam Marshall, Susan Silver, Emily Moss Wilson, Bob Weston, Lucy Woodwar, Stephanie Alexander, Nicole Michele Sobchack, Anna Kulinova, Ryle J. Neale, Lily Marshall-Fricker, Lori Marshall, Ryan Seacrest, Matthew Broderick, Angel Dillemuth, Rosemary Howard, Ryss, Richard Brener, Toby Emmerich, Heather Hall, Mike Karz, Diana Pokomy, Wayne Allan Rice, Josie Rosen, John Debney, Charles Minsky, Michael Tronick, Amanda Mackey Johnson, Cathy Sandrich, Mark Friedberg, Kim Jennings, Gary Jones, Vivian Baker, Jerry DeCarlo, Michelle Morrissey, Diana Pokomy, David Catalano, Alyssa Frankel, Jennifer Roberts, David Venghaus, Kimberly Harris, Ric Schnupp, Jon Taylor, Chris Barnes, William Cote, Declan Mulvey, Kat Spiess, Jodi Ameson, Kimberly Arnold, Kelley Beaman, Katie Bova, Beverly Cole, Jen Day, Sam Day, Carol DePasquale, John Edmundson, Toni Embry, Lindsay Feldman, Julie Kuehndorf, Ruben Malaret, Vanessa Mendoza, Julia Muggia, Chelsea Shanders, Marisa Taylor, Canella Williams, Emily Moss Wilson, Peter Pamela Rose, Greg WilsonThis is not, damage to the “countdown to the ball” in the Times Square of New York causes a confusion in the already fragile nature of the Swankster (she said I could call her that), but the right decision to put the right person for the repair of the short time until midnight (an electrician who had been dismissed in the past) shows that, in some relationships inevitably “make cycle”.

(This is an homage to my bong.  Son of a bitch.  I’m wasted.)

Then there is the shit-ton avalanche of other stars: Ashton Kutcher (The Cougar Tamer), Lea Michelle (Playskool’s “My First Streisand”), Sarah Jessica Parker (My Little Pony), Abigail Breslin (Why Are You In This Shit?), Halle Barry (Another Razzie?) and Zac Efron (“It’s a trap!”).

This is a soup lesson.

How?

You want a soup to make.  You have ingredients for the soup in the millions.  You know in reality the best soup?  Maybe five ingredients.  Maybe ten.

Instead, all ingredients go into the soup.

All millions.

And the soup?  Shit.

You have now spent time and treasure to create shit soup.

And the name of your shit soup?

New Year’s Eve.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  Soon I will see Charlize Theron in “Young Adult”Ginnifer Goodwin, you are so out of my mind (in the not good way).

P.P.S.  I’m so fried.  I have a total hard-on for the Flame Flavored Cheeto.  Tell me the favorite of your high Cheeto in the comments!  Damn, I’m hungry.

What?

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Comments

  1. Manfred Mann on December 9, 2011 at 11:14 am said:

    Thanks for a funny review. No chance in fucking hell do I go see this shit.

  2. Zagnut Fartknocker on December 9, 2011 at 11:19 am said:

    Does anyone get naked? Come on Kimmo, you’re leaving out the relevant details.

  3. Universally bad reviews. I’m not sure this movie runs in theaters through New Year’s Eve. It might get pulled before Christmas.

  4. Heavy G on December 9, 2011 at 12:50 pm said:

    Kimmo, the Cheddar Jalapeno Cheetos are the bomb. Seriously.

  5. Don't see crap! on December 9, 2011 at 1:42 pm said:

    I made the mistake of seeing Valentine’­s day and won’t make the same error twice. Even the trailer looks just awful.
    It’s a shame because this cast could make something great.

  6. Thomas Burgos on December 9, 2011 at 5:12 pm said:

    You lost me at Lea Michele.

  7. Sally Ride on December 9, 2011 at 5:19 pm said:

    This started out like Valentine’s Day as far as premise goes, but really was no better than the routine Love Boat episode. I didn’t believe any of it. It was actually boring.

  8. You people wonder why we still go out and watch these cheesy movies. The reason is because its a holiday movie. People complain so much about movies. The thing is…there isnt enough holiday movies in theaters anymore. Instead of complaining…WTF wont you make your own holiday movie then?

  9. Fonzie is cool on December 10, 2011 at 8:12 am said:

    i don’t think it’s trash. because people DO put effort into making good quality movies. i understand it might be overrated with a shit load of oscar winners but i don’t see a reason why people shouldn’t see it. i think some people just want to watch a movie that makes them relax and just see some good actos, not tense and overdramatic crap of a huge screen – especially during december, a festive holiday. so this time, i disagree.

  10. Alfred Moore on December 10, 2011 at 3:28 pm said:

    Call me crazy but I liked it.

  11. The movie wasn’t that bad. It was alright and the audiences are coming out of it saying it wasn’t that bad either and was actually a fun fluff holiday film. Not everyone wants to see a doctor sew someone’s mouth to someone else’s butt.

    You know what you’re going to see when you see New Year’s Eve. If you didn’t know what you were going to see, then you need to get out more. The critics are way too dramatic. I’ve seen worse. Twilight anyone?

    • I can agree with you on one thing Tyler – I do not want to see a doctor sew someone’s mouth to someone else’s butt. But I must say – this movie was that bad. Sure, not Twilight bad, but still really bad. It doesn’t deserve to be let off the hook so easily.

  12. Good review. I was pleasantly surprised that I actually enjoyed myself with this flick, even though I do feel like Garry Marshall didn’t really try to do anything with all of these stars instead of just have them show up and do something. Still, a fun film that is a crowd-pleaser for sure. Check out my review when you get the chance.

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