Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Many apologies for the writing lack for two weeks.

Fluffy the Wonder Ferret, greatest animal in history, crossed the Rainbow Bridgeand now feasts on ferret food with Jesus – and other ferrets who also have caught the death.

I took time away from the critic things.

I cried, baby style.  Then I cried again.

Why?

Because on the returning to work I found I get to review “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance.”

Who is the Ghost Rider?

Did you see even the first one?

He is Marvel’s darkest hero.  A hell of a biker (joke!), a sort of hybrid man-demon who fights with the forces of Lucifer as the good guy.  This is with a burning skull head and no face – which is cool after many sweet, sweet bong loads.

Without the bonging, not so much.

Remember?

Or, like me, did you erase your mind of the first one?  I’ll refresh you.

Once Johnny Blaze sold his soul to the devil, and won only sufferer until he managed to outwit Satan similarly and to keep the forces of the Riders for themselves to use them for good.

This confuses.

Remember?

Ends approximately in the way “Ghost Rider” to unleash the first attempt in the year 2007, the demonic biker on the big screen.  Managed to cartoonish staging it but not really convincing.

Too much slapstick, romance and – if one disregards the Lucifer-esque performance by Peter Fonda – an opponent who seemed so threatening, like a teen boy-band member

Whether it should then be a sequel, especially under the contribute by Nicolas Cage, was long doubtful until the end – but were still 75 million reasons to shoot a sequel, and let heat with Cage-head inflamed again over the marble pavement (on a motorcycle.  No shit!).

Plot?  Here we go!

This time is somewhere in Eastern Europe, a sect of devil worshipers after a boy (Fergus Riordan) go, which brings extraordinary occult powers in itself.

To defend this guy, a secret society of warrior monks (bad-assery!) swore.  The Satanists, led by its top guru (Ciaran Hinds) have taken hold of the boy. Now, only the Ghost Rider can help.

Johnny Blaze (I was blazed, let me tell you) lives in seclusion, however, and would again be a demon in any way.  Moreau (Idris Elba), one of the warrior monks, succeeds him then but still convincing – after all, it’s again about beating the devil’s trick – and off you go.

Wheee!

Even if one wants to be on the first part, it had at least still something of a plot and a few original ideas.

Peter Fonda was also off a fabulously smug Lucifer, the lovely Eva Mendes (schwing!) is already a well-bred eye-catching and Sam Elliott’s (“the Dude abides”!) performances were always kind of cult.

All this gave the previous charm, something that “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance” completely lacks.

The figures, like Idris Elba, Ciaran Hinds and even Christopher Lambert in a brief guest appearance, get far too little opportunity which would be able to see to it.  Right?  Right.

So, this Ghost Rider gets one limp thumb – limp as Fluffy the Wonder Ferret before the rigor mortis gave him a stiff.

At least it wasn’t in 3-D (the movie – ferrets are always in 3-D).  I’m off to smoke for Fluffy and for more the crying…

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  “American Idol” needs more hot chicks – and less passing out during “Hollywood Week.”  Or more passing out.  I’m undecided.  But definitely more hot chicks.