The Amazing Spider-Man [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, The Amazing Spider-Man, Marvel, Marc Webb, james Vanderbilt, Alvin Sargent, Steve Kloves, Stan Lee, Steve Ditko, Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Rhys Ifans, Denis Leary, Martin Sheen, Sally Field, Imfan Khan, Campbell Scott, Embeth DAvidtz, Chris Zylka, Max Charles, C. Thomas Howell, jake Keiffer, Kari Coleman, Michael Barra, Leif Gantvoort, Andy Pessca, Hannah Marks, Kelsey Chow, Kevin McCorkle, Andy Gladbach, Ring Hendricks-Tellefsen, Barbara Eve Harris, Danielle Burgio, Tom Waite, Tom Waits, Keith Campbell, Steve DeCastro, Jill Flint, Mark Daughterty, Milton Gonzalez, Skyler Gisondo, Charlie DePew, Jacob Rodier, Vincent Laresca, Damien Lemon, Ty Upshaw, James Chen, Alexander Bedria, Tia Texada, Jay Caputo, John Burke, Terry Bozeman, Jennifer Lyons, Michael Massee, Amber Stevens, David Beckett, Chad Bennett, Max Bogner, Bryan Boone, Teena Byrd, Kam Dabrowski, Patrick Alan Davis, ken Edling, Miles Elliot, Jeffrey Fox, Bryan Friday, Stephanie Gould Shashawnee Hall, Olivia Hoff, Hanna Lloyd, Amanda MacDonald, Jeremy McLain, Maury Morgan, Anthony Del Negro, Michael Papajohn, Annie Parisse, Salomon Passariello, Alan Pietruszewski, Roy Pollack, Michael Remmes, John Scruti, Eric Silver, Andrea Sixtos, Chris Smith, Kelly Southerland, Megan Taylor, Gavin Bryson Thompson, Chris Vaina, Corinne Vien, George F. Wilson, Avi Arad, Michael Grillo, Kyla Kraman, Beatriz Sequeira, Matthew Tolmach, Pamela Oas Williams, Laura Ziskin, James Horner, John Schwartzman, Alan Edward Bell, Michael McCusker, Pietro Scalia, Francine Maisler, J. Michael Riva, Page Buckner, Kym Barrett, Vic Armstrong, Audrey Clark, Christina Fong, Richard Graves, David Kelley, Colin Markowitz, Cathleen McFadyen, Kendall Nichols, Jennifer Roberts, Eric Sherman, Woodrow Travers, Jonathan Watson, Steve Windle, Mark DeSimone, Simon Diggins, Kimberly Harris, Howard London, Sarah Monat, Ric Schnupp, Robert Troy, Andy Armstrong, Nina Armstrong, Jill Brown, Shane Daniels, Gary Davis, Zac henry, Samuel Le, James Peyton, Rich Rutherford, Alexander Smith, Tom Bryon Weiss, Michael Cioni, Jennifer Vecchiarello, Jim Passon, John Armstrong, Sandy DeCrescent, Gina Zimmitti, Kalie Acheson, Armando Alarcon, Alexis Alexander, Raci Alexander, jampier Arias, Laurie Arnow-Epstein, Ben Burke, Miles Burke, Trisha Burton, Richard Bizenza, Deb Cole, Theodore Collatos, Deliana Daskalova, Frank Dauro, Jon DeSimone, Lisa Dietrick, Michele Etges, jacob Head, George Hrico, C.J. Laursen, Alison Li, Ahmed Lucan, Justin Mickelson, Lauren Mizenko, Jessi Moore, Kyle Morrison, Cameron Morton, Kyle Musselman, Tien Nguyen, Sandy O'Neill, Bobby Ravanshenas, Kevin Ronan, Sheila Sawhny, Leslie Zak, Joshua Williams, Warren WhitmoreThe Amazing Spider-Man

With Wit, Reviewed by Kimmo Mustonenen

Reboot.

I have the confusion.

What have there the meaning for this?

Example:  Take something that was cool.  And made money by the crap load.  Say “this is too old for the liking – who will understand the oldness?”  Say, “how can more crap loads of money can be milked if already the thing is owned by the kids?”

Reboot!

So, ten years after the Spider-Man now is new Spider-Man (amazing!) is all up in the cinemas!

Money must be made, the good must be good again, what is old is now new (and is for the cash to be had – thanks for the consistency,Hollywood!).

REBOOT!!!

Spider-Man is now The Amazing Spider-Man.

Already better.

AMAZING!!!

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, The Amazing Spider-Man, Marvel, Marc Webb, james Vanderbilt, Alvin Sargent, Steve Kloves, Stan Lee, Steve Ditko, Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Rhys Ifans, Denis Leary, Martin Sheen, Sally Field, Imfan Khan, Campbell Scott, Embeth DAvidtz, Chris Zylka, Max Charles, C. Thomas Howell, jake Keiffer, Kari Coleman, Michael Barra, Leif Gantvoort, Andy Pessca, Hannah Marks, Kelsey Chow, Kevin McCorkle, Andy Gladbach, Ring Hendricks-Tellefsen, Barbara Eve Harris, Danielle Burgio, Tom Waite, Tom Waits, Keith Campbell, Steve DeCastro, Jill Flint, Mark Daughterty, Milton Gonzalez, Skyler Gisondo, Charlie DePew, Jacob Rodier, Vincent Laresca, Damien Lemon, Ty Upshaw, James Chen, Alexander Bedria, Tia Texada, Jay Caputo, John Burke, Terry Bozeman, Jennifer Lyons, Michael Massee, Amber Stevens, David Beckett, Chad Bennett, Max Bogner, Bryan Boone, Teena Byrd, Kam Dabrowski, Patrick Alan Davis, ken Edling, Miles Elliot, Jeffrey Fox, Bryan Friday, Stephanie Gould Shashawnee Hall, Olivia Hoff, Hanna Lloyd, Amanda MacDonald, Jeremy McLain, Maury Morgan, Anthony Del Negro, Michael Papajohn, Annie Parisse, Salomon Passariello, Alan Pietruszewski, Roy Pollack, Michael Remmes, John Scruti, Eric Silver, Andrea Sixtos, Chris Smith, Kelly Southerland, Megan Taylor, Gavin Bryson Thompson, Chris Vaina, Corinne Vien, George F. Wilson, Avi Arad, Michael Grillo, Kyla Kraman, Beatriz Sequeira, Matthew Tolmach, Pamela Oas Williams, Laura Ziskin, James Horner, John Schwartzman, Alan Edward Bell, Michael McCusker, Pietro Scalia, Francine Maisler, J. Michael Riva, Page Buckner, Kym Barrett, Vic Armstrong, Audrey Clark, Christina Fong, Richard Graves, David Kelley, Colin Markowitz, Cathleen McFadyen, Kendall Nichols, Jennifer Roberts, Eric Sherman, Woodrow Travers, Jonathan Watson, Steve Windle, Mark DeSimone, Simon Diggins, Kimberly Harris, Howard London, Sarah Monat, Ric Schnupp, Robert Troy, Andy Armstrong, Nina Armstrong, Jill Brown, Shane Daniels, Gary Davis, Zac henry, Samuel Le, James Peyton, Rich Rutherford, Alexander Smith, Tom Bryon Weiss, Michael Cioni, Jennifer Vecchiarello, Jim Passon, John Armstrong, Sandy DeCrescent, Gina Zimmitti, Kalie Acheson, Armando Alarcon, Alexis Alexander, Raci Alexander, jampier Arias, Laurie Arnow-Epstein, Ben Burke, Miles Burke, Trisha Burton, Richard Bizenza, Deb Cole, Theodore Collatos, Deliana Daskalova, Frank Dauro, Jon DeSimone, Lisa Dietrick, Michele Etges, jacob Head, George Hrico, C.J. Laursen, Alison Li, Ahmed Lucan, Justin Mickelson, Lauren Mizenko, Jessi Moore, Kyle Morrison, Cameron Morton, Kyle Musselman, Tien Nguyen, Sandy O'Neill, Bobby Ravanshenas, Kevin Ronan, Sheila Sawhny, Leslie Zak, Joshua Williams, Warren WhitmoreSome is different, some the same.

Most the same, really.

How?

Spider-Man.  Tobey Maguire.  Real nerd. Only cool with the spider juice flowing in the veins.

Andrew Garfield.  Tormented.  Could be cool without spider juice, but gets the juice bitten just the same.

Torment!  Angst!  It is the suck to have superpowers.

Bad guy. Still green.  But different.  English dude (Rhys Ifans) is not as a creeper as the Willem Defoe.  But, other than the John Malkovich, no one is the creeper as Defoe.

No Malkovich in “The Amazing Spider-Man.”

Damn.  Maybe the next reboot (mark the calendar 10 years in the future).

Girlfriend.  Emma Stone is the hotness for the Spider-Guy at this time.  It was, in before the reboot, Kirsten Dunst.

Stone has a lisp.

Dunst gave us her boobies in “Melancholia.”

We can – only for the hoping – wish that now in the future Emma Stone boobs will be for the seeing, drooling, and then the wanting.  To touch.  In reality.

Soon. Please.

Oh.  And they’re tied.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, The Amazing Spider-Man, Marvel, Marc Webb, james Vanderbilt, Alvin Sargent, Steve Kloves, Stan Lee, Steve Ditko, Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Rhys Ifans, Denis Leary, Martin Sheen, Sally Field, Imfan Khan, Campbell Scott, Embeth DAvidtz, Chris Zylka, Max Charles, C. Thomas Howell, jake Keiffer, Kari Coleman, Michael Barra, Leif Gantvoort, Andy Pessca, Hannah Marks, Kelsey Chow, Kevin McCorkle, Andy Gladbach, Ring Hendricks-Tellefsen, Barbara Eve Harris, Danielle Burgio, Tom Waite, Tom Waits, Keith Campbell, Steve DeCastro, Jill Flint, Mark Daughterty, Milton Gonzalez, Skyler Gisondo, Charlie DePew, Jacob Rodier, Vincent Laresca, Damien Lemon, Ty Upshaw, James Chen, Alexander Bedria, Tia Texada, Jay Caputo, John Burke, Terry Bozeman, Jennifer Lyons, Michael Massee, Amber Stevens, David Beckett, Chad Bennett, Max Bogner, Bryan Boone, Teena Byrd, Kam Dabrowski, Patrick Alan Davis, ken Edling, Miles Elliot, Jeffrey Fox, Bryan Friday, Stephanie Gould Shashawnee Hall, Olivia Hoff, Hanna Lloyd, Amanda MacDonald, Jeremy McLain, Maury Morgan, Anthony Del Negro, Michael Papajohn, Annie Parisse, Salomon Passariello, Alan Pietruszewski, Roy Pollack, Michael Remmes, John Scruti, Eric Silver, Andrea Sixtos, Chris Smith, Kelly Southerland, Megan Taylor, Gavin Bryson Thompson, Chris Vaina, Corinne Vien, George F. Wilson, Avi Arad, Michael Grillo, Kyla Kraman, Beatriz Sequeira, Matthew Tolmach, Pamela Oas Williams, Laura Ziskin, James Horner, John Schwartzman, Alan Edward Bell, Michael McCusker, Pietro Scalia, Francine Maisler, J. Michael Riva, Page Buckner, Kym Barrett, Vic Armstrong, Audrey Clark, Christina Fong, Richard Graves, David Kelley, Colin Markowitz, Cathleen McFadyen, Kendall Nichols, Jennifer Roberts, Eric Sherman, Woodrow Travers, Jonathan Watson, Steve Windle, Mark DeSimone, Simon Diggins, Kimberly Harris, Howard London, Sarah Monat, Ric Schnupp, Robert Troy, Andy Armstrong, Nina Armstrong, Jill Brown, Shane Daniels, Gary Davis, Zac henry, Samuel Le, James Peyton, Rich Rutherford, Alexander Smith, Tom Bryon Weiss, Michael Cioni, Jennifer Vecchiarello, Jim Passon, John Armstrong, Sandy DeCrescent, Gina Zimmitti, Kalie Acheson, Armando Alarcon, Alexis Alexander, Raci Alexander, jampier Arias, Laurie Arnow-Epstein, Ben Burke, Miles Burke, Trisha Burton, Richard Bizenza, Deb Cole, Theodore Collatos, Deliana Daskalova, Frank Dauro, Jon DeSimone, Lisa Dietrick, Michele Etges, jacob Head, George Hrico, C.J. Laursen, Alison Li, Ahmed Lucan, Justin Mickelson, Lauren Mizenko, Jessi Moore, Kyle Morrison, Cameron Morton, Kyle Musselman, Tien Nguyen, Sandy O'Neill, Bobby Ravanshenas, Kevin Ronan, Sheila Sawhny, Leslie Zak, Joshua Williams, Warren WhitmoreNewspaper.  No contest.

Denis Leary is angry.  Every character laid on by Leary is angry.  Some less.  Some more.  All angry.  Angry, angry, angry.  J.K. Simmons?  Loveable.  Gruff.  Sometimes angry.

Wow, he has a range for something other than his one note!  He wins this one.

Plot?  Really?

Nerd gets bit by the spider juice.  Gets powers that are so cool.

Crazy scientist somehow with the family entangles and death and sad and Peter needs an ass to kick.

And a cute chick.

Sub-plot.  Big fight!  Spider-Man wins again – and learns a lesson.

Some kind of lesson.  I forget (damn you, kossu!).

One thumb is up for “The Amazing Spider-Man.”  The other thumb can’t figure why I’m seeing what I just saw in the past.

But I get it.

Money.

Do you have the brain knowledge the Harry Potter movies are now 11 years old?  Get on it Hollywood!

The shit-pile of money made by those make the embarrassment on Spider-Man.

Reboot now!

Reboot Harry Potter!

Or not.  Assholes.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  New “Glee Project” tonight!  Predictions:  Crying, “this is so important to me”, “no one understands what I’m going through”, “this is my life!”, crying, yelling, singing, “this is my only shot”, flirting, then gay Ryan Murphy saying a cliché, then more crying, and song.  I cannot wait!  My bong is full…

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Comments

  1. iknowthis on July 3, 2012 at 2:48 pm said:

    I would agree on a reboot if it were 20 years. To do a series from 2002 to 2007 and then repeat the same series with only a very slight twist another 5 years later usually means a flop. A good example are the constant remakes of batman which mostly all flopped until the dark knight series. I have to hope that this movie ties into the avengers series/infinity wars and the point was that TM didn’t want to do anymore spidey movies.

  2. D.J. Reilly on July 3, 2012 at 2:48 pm said:

    Hollywood is dead. They just can’t come up with anything new.

  3. Eric Vinson on July 3, 2012 at 2:50 pm said:

    I was mad when I heard they were doing another “remake” but I went to see it at midnight last night and I can truly say that they did it right this time! SO much better than the 3 previous films. I am excited for the 2nd one (if you go see it, stay through the credits!).

  4. Heavy G on July 3, 2012 at 3:07 pm said:

    What will it be called when they reboot the reboot?

  5. Megan R. on July 3, 2012 at 3:17 pm said:

    Yeah, most likely I will not be seeing this spidey movie…3 was so bad I wanted to stick a pencil in my eye.

  6. Lacrosse Dick on July 3, 2012 at 7:01 pm said:

    Saw it last night, was better than the TM Spiderman movies for sure. Just hate how we always have to have the origin story. Avengers is an A+, this get’s a B+-A- from me.

  7. Tank Rothchild on July 4, 2012 at 3:25 pm said:

    Yo dawg, I heard you like reboots, so we rebooted a reboot with a reboot. I wonder if a studio is working on a reboot of Dark knight…

  8. atheesh on July 7, 2012 at 9:45 am said:

    This got to be ”the most extreme” review i have ever seen

  9. Because Marvel was up for sale, Sony needed to “reboot” the Spider-man franchise in order to hold onto the rights. As Marvel was bought by Disney, this was a necessary move on their part.

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