The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo on Kino, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2, Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Bill Condon, Stephenie Meyer, Melissa Rosenberg, Taylor Lautner, Gil Birmingham, Billy Burke, Sarah Clarke, Ty Olsson, Kristen Stewart, Ashley Greene, Jackson Rathbone, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Kellan Lutz, Nikki Reed, Robert Pattinson, Christian Sloan, James Pizzinato, Ian Harmon, Gabriel Carter, Anna Kendrick, Christian Serratos, Justin Chron, Michael Welch, Michael Sheen, Christopher Heyerdahl, Jamie Campbell Bower, Christian Camargo, Mia Maestro, Maggie Grace, MyAnna Buring, Casey LaBow, Angelo Renai, Booboo Stewart, Alex Rice, Paul Becker, Stephanie Moseley, Kiowa Gordon, Tyson Houseman, Chaske Spencer, Bronson Pelletier, Alex Meraz, Julia Jones, Tinsel Korey, Tanaya Beatty, Sienna Joseph, Carolina Virguez, Sebastiao Lemos, Kimani Ray Smith, Tora Hylands, Mackenzie Foy, Ali Faulkner, Charlie Bewley, Daniel Cudmore, Bill Bannerman, Wyck Godfrey, Mark Morgan, Irina Neyes, Karen Rosenfelt, Isabelle Tanugi, Carter Burwell, Guillermo Navarro, Virginia Katz, Debra Zane, Richard Sherman, Michael Wilkinson, Patricia McAlhany Glasser, Valeria Costa Amorim, Shawn Boyachek, Mary Guilfoyle, Barbara Kelly, Andrew G. La Marca, Colleen Mitchell, David Price, Angela Quiles, Andrea Wertheim, Bryan Yaconelli, Karin Behrenz, Josy Capkun, E.J. Foerster, Dylan Hopkins, Justin Muller, Jay Amor, Stanton Barrett, Krista Bell, Brett Chan, Paul Darnell, Holland Diaz, Christopher Gordon, Adam Hart, Kiralee Hayashi, Atlin Mitchell, Matthew Rugetti, Karin Silvestri, Patty Majorczak-Connolly, Mark Sussman, Joey Amron, Jason Dale, Shae Salmon, Diana Ascher, Paul Becker, Mauro Blanco, Daniel Booko, Barbara Branch, Erik Feig, Lea Enslin, Laura Fuller, Danielle Halagarda, Joe M. Hagg, Louise Hradsky, Anne Jacobsen, Katia Kieling, Brynn Kinnee, Julie Lopinto, Caroline MacVicar, Jill McQueen, Benjamin Jeran McGinn, Emily Morrow, Danielle Poret, Ashlynn Ross, Davida Smith, A. J. Timmcke, Chanda Venable, Alex John WisemanThe Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Son of a bitch.

Damn you, Mayans.

I, and the Earth, have lived to see what we wish the seeing of would not have happened.

Why not the end?

Sometimes the end is better than the being. But no.

My eyeballs have made my brain see “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2“. Electric Boogaloo.

That would have been the cool.

Odin. I have always been in service.

Oh, God of Cargo, I follow.

Since you were on the tree Yggdrasil attached to find the truth, to now.

But the pain.

Oh, Odin, the pain.

My eyes have been rubbed in shit. And that shit is “ The Twilight Saga: Breaking blah blah blah blah blah blah“.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo on Kino, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2, Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Bill Condon, Stephenie Meyer, Melissa Rosenberg, Taylor Lautner, Gil Birmingham, Billy Burke, Sarah Clarke, Ty Olsson, Kristen Stewart, Ashley Greene, Jackson Rathbone, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Kellan Lutz, Nikki Reed, Robert Pattinson, Christian Sloan, James Pizzinato, Ian Harmon, Gabriel Carter, Anna Kendrick, Christian Serratos, Justin Chron, Michael Welch, Michael Sheen, Christopher Heyerdahl, Jamie Campbell Bower, Christian Camargo, Mia Maestro, Maggie Grace, MyAnna Buring, Casey LaBow, Angelo Renai, Booboo Stewart, Alex Rice, Paul Becker, Stephanie Moseley, Kiowa Gordon, Tyson Houseman, Chaske Spencer, Bronson Pelletier, Alex Meraz, Julia Jones, Tinsel Korey, Tanaya Beatty, Sienna Joseph, Carolina Virguez, Sebastiao Lemos, Kimani Ray Smith, Tora Hylands, Mackenzie Foy, Ali Faulkner, Charlie Bewley, Daniel Cudmore, Bill Bannerman, Wyck Godfrey, Mark Morgan, Irina Neyes, Karen Rosenfelt, Isabelle Tanugi, Carter Burwell, Guillermo Navarro, Virginia Katz, Debra Zane, Richard Sherman, Michael Wilkinson, Patricia McAlhany Glasser, Valeria Costa Amorim, Shawn Boyachek, Mary Guilfoyle, Barbara Kelly, Andrew G. La Marca, Colleen Mitchell, David Price, Angela Quiles, Andrea Wertheim, Bryan Yaconelli, Karin Behrenz, Josy Capkun, E.J. Foerster, Dylan Hopkins, Justin Muller, Jay Amor, Stanton Barrett, Krista Bell, Brett Chan, Paul Darnell, Holland Diaz, Christopher Gordon, Adam Hart, Kiralee Hayashi, Atlin Mitchell, Matthew Rugetti, Karin Silvestri, Patty Majorczak-Connolly, Mark Sussman, Joey Amron, Jason Dale, Shae Salmon, Diana Ascher, Paul Becker, Mauro Blanco, Daniel Booko, Barbara Branch, Erik Feig, Lea Enslin, Laura Fuller, Danielle Halagarda, Joe M. Hagg, Louise Hradsky, Anne Jacobsen, Katia Kieling, Brynn Kinnee, Julie Lopinto, Caroline MacVicar, Jill McQueen, Benjamin Jeran McGinn, Emily Morrow, Danielle Poret, Ashlynn Ross, Davida Smith, A. J. Timmcke, Chanda Venable, Alex John WisemanStory? Really?

If this is for your interest for the reading there are many things:

1) I love this shit. Like the film Kimmo, like me, or you will the for the stalking like my 75 cats do to the poor back yard birds (this is for middle-age Twi-Fraus).

2) I love this shit. Like the film Kimmo, like me, because this was the first time that my parts that make of me a girl gave me a squirm – whatever team. Best movie since “Citizen Kane” or “The Notebook” (teenage Twi-tards – sorry for making the Citizen Kane reference – your tiny brains explode like insignificant lady fingers).

3) I love this shit. Like the film Kimmo. If I disagree my girlfriend handjobs may cease immediately (the horror – poor boyfriends of crazy chicks liking this thing movie crap).

4) This is stupid. Damn bad CGI movie mess that makes the smart dumb, and the rest shake the head and reach for the Kossu (normal people).

Here is some plot.

After the birth of her daughter, Renesmee, Bella slowly adapts to his new life with the help of vampire Edward.

Feeling threatened by the birth of a new genre, the Volturi declare war on the family Cullen.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo on Kino, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2, Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Bill Condon, Stephenie Meyer, Melissa Rosenberg, Taylor Lautner, Gil Birmingham, Billy Burke, Sarah Clarke, Ty Olsson, Kristen Stewart, Ashley Greene, Jackson Rathbone, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Kellan Lutz, Nikki Reed, Robert Pattinson, Christian Sloan, James Pizzinato, Ian Harmon, Gabriel Carter, Anna Kendrick, Christian Serratos, Justin Chron, Michael Welch, Michael Sheen, Christopher Heyerdahl, Jamie Campbell Bower, Christian Camargo, Mia Maestro, Maggie Grace, MyAnna Buring, Casey LaBow, Angelo Renai, Booboo Stewart, Alex Rice, Paul Becker, Stephanie Moseley, Kiowa Gordon, Tyson Houseman, Chaske Spencer, Bronson Pelletier, Alex Meraz, Julia Jones, Tinsel Korey, Tanaya Beatty, Sienna Joseph, Carolina Virguez, Sebastiao Lemos, Kimani Ray Smith, Tora Hylands, Mackenzie Foy, Ali Faulkner, Charlie Bewley, Daniel Cudmore, Bill Bannerman, Wyck Godfrey, Mark Morgan, Irina Neyes, Karen Rosenfelt, Isabelle Tanugi, Carter Burwell, Guillermo Navarro, Virginia Katz, Debra Zane, Richard Sherman, Michael Wilkinson, Patricia McAlhany Glasser, Valeria Costa Amorim, Shawn Boyachek, Mary Guilfoyle, Barbara Kelly, Andrew G. La Marca, Colleen Mitchell, David Price, Angela Quiles, Andrea Wertheim, Bryan Yaconelli, Karin Behrenz, Josy Capkun, E.J. Foerster, Dylan Hopkins, Justin Muller, Jay Amor, Stanton Barrett, Krista Bell, Brett Chan, Paul Darnell, Holland Diaz, Christopher Gordon, Adam Hart, Kiralee Hayashi, Atlin Mitchell, Matthew Rugetti, Karin Silvestri, Patty Majorczak-Connolly, Mark Sussman, Joey Amron, Jason Dale, Shae Salmon, Diana Ascher, Paul Becker, Mauro Blanco, Daniel Booko, Barbara Branch, Erik Feig, Lea Enslin, Laura Fuller, Danielle Halagarda, Joe M. Hagg, Louise Hradsky, Anne Jacobsen, Katia Kieling, Brynn Kinnee, Julie Lopinto, Caroline MacVicar, Jill McQueen, Benjamin Jeran McGinn, Emily Morrow, Danielle Poret, Ashlynn Ross, Davida Smith, A. J. Timmcke, Chanda Venable, Alex John WisemanTo prepare their defense, Cullen will travel the world to bring together families and allied vampires try to push the Volturi in a final confrontation.

Wow! Wait, what?

Have there been worse films to let in my mind?

Of course, the first 500 movies of this franchise of suck.

Freddie Got Fingered.”

Maybe that is the total. My brain reels. I wish for the end.

Odin, I hate for the being of the negative. But I knew.

The sweet smoke didn’t make things better.

The Kossu only brought sadness.

So, now, here we are. What more to say?

Two thumbs waiting for the end. For Ragnarok, if the Mayans cannot get their poop in order. Drooping down, waiting for the end.

At least this stream of shit is at an end (thoughts after visiting Acapulco – four days of hell – though Twilight was longer and hurt more).

You will see it if you want. If not, then not to see. Your minds are already in place for a decision. I cannot change that.

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P.S.  “Fringe” makes no sense. Yet I do not care in my mind. The Observers are well dressed. The future should be so cool.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 [REVIEW]

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Comments

  1. Those two guys are a truckload of gay.

  2. RG Queen on November 16, 2012 at 9:51 am said:

    Yes. It was abig mistake not naming it Breaking Dawn – Part 2: Electric Boogaloo!

  3. Mysterie on November 16, 2012 at 10:02 am said:

    The Film was terrible to say it lightly… it destroyed the vision Stephanie Meyer created with her books. I don’t even know where to start … the changes from book to film do not work they make the movie so bad we ware about to leave before the end, but we did hold thru to the end with a lot of effort… I truly love the books i have read them at least 20 times each and i could have cried watching the movie, it gives one the feeling people are blind or just didn’t bother to read the books before writing the crap they put on the screen…

  4. Logan Shackleford on November 16, 2012 at 10:18 am said:

    Thank God this crap is over…

  5. B Levine on November 16, 2012 at 10:22 am said:

    Whats your problem kimmo?! I saw the movie and I give it 5stars out of 5 stars. No wagging thumbs – STARS! There are things that move away from the books but as Stephanie herself stated she approves all the scripts before they go out… the movies tell the story in a way the books can’t and vice versa. True Twilight fans will love it and as they say if someone is hating then you are doing something right…. Forever.

    • Hemlock3630 on November 16, 2012 at 10:13 pm said:

      o.O
      “hmmmm”
      O.O
      *scratches chin*
      O.o
      *starts to speak….then decides better….no use getting into an internet discussion with someone who doesn’t know the difference between good film and horribly bad nightmare inducing film*

  6. Kimmo, learn to write in ENGLISH. This writing is horrible. Is this how you people talk outside of America. Come on, what’s wrong with you people. Anyway, the movie was a little lagging until it got towards the end, but it followed the book. The end was pretty amazing. Really, if you did not read the books, you don’t know the personalities of all the characters. In order to have a real opinion on Breaking Dawn you need to read the books and then watch the movies, and you will understand a lot more. If you didn’t read the books don’t bother even going. Again, it’s really hard to even understand all the jumbled up sentences that you wrote. I don’t know if all you people outside of the United States really know how to speak English but if you are going to write a review in English, you should learn how to write. Thanks.

    • Hey Angelo, ever thought of writing in fluent FINNISH? Yep, people outside America speak other languages. Spanish, Italian, French even! Who’d have thunk it?!

    • Hemlock3630 on November 16, 2012 at 10:11 pm said:

      Angelo is an ass…and as such his comments can be ignored.

    • Movies, even if they are based on books or any other existing material, should stand on their own terms; if the moviegoer needs to read the books to fully understand these films, then the films have failed.

      The review was fine (and funny).

      Angelo, please write a movie review (of a terrible movie) in another language, then bitch about Kimmo’s (fine) English. On second thought, you should just review the rules of grammar in your language…

  7. It was a pretty dreadful movie. The humor seemed so awkward. The dialog so stilted.

  8. I THINK THAT TWILIGHT AND THE CREW WHO MADE IT SHOULD GET A OSCAR WINNING TROPHIE FOR THE MOVIE

  9. A Real Person on November 16, 2012 at 11:09 am said:

    The final movie is everything and more. Bring tissues. Bill Condon did a great job directing this final installment along with Melissa Rosenberg’s screen play. Condon and Rosenberg with their humor and touching tribute to previous movies should move the fans immensely. The best movie in the series yet and a emotional end to the beloved saga. Kristen, Robert and Taylor change in their characters are welcomed and embraced, Edward less tortured and Jacob less angry shows the fans just why they chose Team Edward or Team Jacob from the very first movie.

  10. Kimmo, dude, I feel your pain. I once saw about 30 seconds of the second one on HBO while flipping channels. Some guy was running up a tree. Worst special effect ever. I laughed for an hour. I can’t imagine sitting through an entire Twilight movie. Has anyone ever died from laughing too hard?

  11. I Netflixed the first film a few years ago because I was curious. It was dreadful but mildly entertaining. I watched the second film with my girlfriend. We thought it was better than the first one, but still not that great. I doubt we’ll see the rest of them.

    I love Kimmo’s English! It’s so great and funny and entertaining!

  12. Megan R. on November 16, 2012 at 12:03 pm said:

    I agree with you about Fringe Kimmo! What is Twilight???

  13. Lets see Does Edward arise out of a coffin at night and chew on the necks of the living- Not that I’ve seen so he can’t be a real vampire, however I did see him standing around in the woods glowing and sparkling- Seems more like a fairy to me.

  14. Truly wonderful film, followed the book very well. Visually stunning, great twist. Costumes, make up, and special effects all of the highest standard. It was a fantastic way to end the series. And I appreciate that there are people who are not fans. There is always going to be difference of opinion. But to say this is the worst film ever is a little bit OTT. Watch Wild Wild West, and Black Death. Re-watch this. Then we’ll talk. Very narrow minded review.

  15. I love your review and thank you for putting a smile on my face. As for the movie, I could believe how bad the last one was, the movie looks and is worse with the bigger the budget. It is a “what the Hell question, more money and more sucky”.Thanks again for the laugh.

  16. I WANT MY MONEY BACK, NOW !!!!
    WORST MOVIE EVER!

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