The Purge [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, The Purge, James DeMonaco, Ethan Hawke, Lena Headey, Max Burkholder, Adelaide Kane, Edwin Hodge, Rhys Wakefield, Tony Oller, Anija Bareikis, Tom Yi, Chris Mulkey, Tisha French, Dana Bunch, Peter Gvozdas, John Weselcouch, Alicia Vela-Bailey, Karen Strassman, David Basila, Boima Blake, Nathan Clarkson, Chester Lockhart, Michael Bay, Jason Blum, Jeanette Brill, Gerard DiNardi, Andrew Form, Bradley Fuller, Sebastien Lemercier, Nathan Whitehead, Jacques Jouffret, Peter Gvozdas, John Barba, Lisa Fields, Melanie Jones, Nicolas Plotquin, Karuna Karmarkar, Lisa Norcia, Steve Costanza, Jennifer Gerber, David Larson, Kaylene Carlson, Phillip Dawe, Deon Boyce, Gavin Kleintop, Mark Guillesserian, Matt Kennedy, Kirk Graves, Joe Cappelletti, John Thong Hoang Hguyen, Julie Sessing, Greg Vines, Jordan Anderson, Libby Anderson, Aaron Becker, Keith Blomberg, Tina Clark, Eric Fleischman, Karen Gilbert, Jon Haaz, Matt HIll, Olga Ivina, Erin Sahlstrom, Josh Sathre, Babette Stith, Mike Tristano, Randi Woxland, Renette G. Amador, Tim Pedegana, Chelsea PetersThe Purge

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

I lost at betting.

Son of a bitch.

“The Purge” was in my thinking mind in the past a game on video.

I ran in the night, a gun as my hand-end, blood lust making me lust –yes, LUST, to kill Ethan Hawke.

I had only one night, and my violence, like Taco Bell, would give me “The Purge,” but with less mess.

No. I was thinking Unreal Tournament 2004 (never gets the olds!).

In my “sweet, sweet smoke life” (high, who haven’t read past Kimmo) I enter the arena and all I am to kill is Ethan Hawke.

Everyone or thing that runs in my perfect mind is Ethan Hawke.

“Head Shot!”

Ethan.

“Multi-Kill!”

A shit-ton of Ethans.

“Rampage!”

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, The Purge, James DeMonaco, Ethan Hawke, Lena Headey, Max Burkholder, Adelaide Kane, Edwin Hodge, Rhys Wakefield, Tony Oller, Anija Bareikis, Tom Yi, Chris Mulkey, Tisha French, Dana Bunch, Peter Gvozdas, John Weselcouch, Alicia Vela-Bailey, Karen Strassman, David Basila, Boima Blake, Nathan Clarkson, Chester Lockhart, Michael Bay, Jason Blum, Jeanette Brill, Gerard DiNardi, Andrew Form, Bradley Fuller, Sebastien Lemercier, Nathan Whitehead, Jacques Jouffret, Peter Gvozdas, John Barba, Lisa Fields, Melanie Jones, Nicolas Plotquin, Karuna Karmarkar, Lisa Norcia, Steve Costanza, Jennifer Gerber, David Larson, Kaylene Carlson, Phillip Dawe, Deon Boyce, Gavin Kleintop, Mark Guillesserian, Matt Kennedy, Kirk Graves, Joe Cappelletti, John Thong Hoang Hguyen, Julie Sessing, Greg Vines, Jordan Anderson, Libby Anderson, Aaron Becker, Keith Blomberg, Tina Clark, Eric Fleischman, Karen Gilbert, Jon Haaz, Matt HIll, Olga Ivina, Erin Sahlstrom, Josh Sathre, Babette Stith, Mike Tristano, Randi Woxland, Renette G. Amador, Tim Pedegana, Chelsea PetersThe entire Republic of Ethan Hawke… Dead.

But “The Purge” is a movie, but not even real. The greatest disappointment.

Review? If I must.

Plot? Sure. In ten years, America is back in the 1750s. Morality is cool because everyone has the job to just live.

Remember “Rollerball”? The good one? 1975?

“In the not too distant future, wars will no longer exist – but there will be… ROLLERBALL!”

Cue Bach.

In the not too distant future, crime will no longer exist – but there will be… a low budget movie trying to make my mind believe that those on the crack will not rob suburban people except on gang-banger Christmas – or “The Purge.”

Ethan Hawke is a rich guy. He is married to Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey). The Purge is a yearly festival where there is corn dogs and candy – plus the unlimited killing and illegal parking.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, The Purge, James DeMonaco, Ethan Hawke, Lena Headey, Max Burkholder, Adelaide Kane, Edwin Hodge, Rhys Wakefield, Tony Oller, Anija Bareikis, Tom Yi, Chris Mulkey, Tisha French, Dana Bunch, Peter Gvozdas, John Weselcouch, Alicia Vela-Bailey, Karen Strassman, David Basila, Boima Blake, Nathan Clarkson, Chester Lockhart, Michael Bay, Jason Blum, Jeanette Brill, Gerard DiNardi, Andrew Form, Bradley Fuller, Sebastien Lemercier, Nathan Whitehead, Jacques Jouffret, Peter Gvozdas, John Barba, Lisa Fields, Melanie Jones, Nicolas Plotquin, Karuna Karmarkar, Lisa Norcia, Steve Costanza, Jennifer Gerber, David Larson, Kaylene Carlson, Phillip Dawe, Deon Boyce, Gavin Kleintop, Mark Guillesserian, Matt Kennedy, Kirk Graves, Joe Cappelletti, John Thong Hoang Hguyen, Julie Sessing, Greg Vines, Jordan Anderson, Libby Anderson, Aaron Becker, Keith Blomberg, Tina Clark, Eric Fleischman, Karen Gilbert, Jon Haaz, Matt HIll, Olga Ivina, Erin Sahlstrom, Josh Sathre, Babette Stith, Mike Tristano, Randi Woxland, Renette G. Amador, Tim Pedegana, Chelsea PetersEthan’s children let a man with no home (sad) into the house during the fun. Pants-around-the-knees-people and others who should be schooling want the homeless man to end up “Head Shot!”

I start to run with my RPG and look for Ethan Hawke!

Dammit!

Movie, not game.

Only Kossu can sooth my mind now. What in Hell’s name is happening to the thoughts that normally roost with ease on the stick that is my mind perch?

Game. Movie. Game. Movie.

Nothing and everything is so real that my reality wants nothing more than Cheetos. And a large coke. The smoke is talking.

Thank you, sweet smoke!

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, The Purge, James DeMonaco, Ethan Hawke, Lena Headey, Max Burkholder, Adelaide Kane, Edwin Hodge, Rhys Wakefield, Tony Oller, Anija Bareikis, Tom Yi, Chris Mulkey, Tisha French, Dana Bunch, Peter Gvozdas, John Weselcouch, Alicia Vela-Bailey, Karen Strassman, David Basila, Boima Blake, Nathan Clarkson, Chester Lockhart, Michael Bay, Jason Blum, Jeanette Brill, Gerard DiNardi, Andrew Form, Bradley Fuller, Sebastien Lemercier, Nathan Whitehead, Jacques Jouffret, Peter Gvozdas, John Barba, Lisa Fields, Melanie Jones, Nicolas Plotquin, Karuna Karmarkar, Lisa Norcia, Steve Costanza, Jennifer Gerber, David Larson, Kaylene Carlson, Phillip Dawe, Deon Boyce, Gavin Kleintop, Mark Guillesserian, Matt Kennedy, Kirk Graves, Joe Cappelletti, John Thong Hoang Hguyen, Julie Sessing, Greg Vines, Jordan Anderson, Libby Anderson, Aaron Becker, Keith Blomberg, Tina Clark, Eric Fleischman, Karen Gilbert, Jon Haaz, Matt HIll, Olga Ivina, Erin Sahlstrom, Josh Sathre, Babette Stith, Mike Tristano, Randi Woxland, Renette G. Amador, Tim Pedegana, Chelsea PetersOkay. Two thumbs right on up there. Any thought from my brain stem that remembers me on the “Rollerball” (the good one) gets everything up in my book.  Yes, everything – remember Ella?

No? And your mouth tells me you are a movie fan… Disappoint.  See “Rollerball.”

Now, as my bet was for losing, I must watch “Moulin Rouge” again. Sober.

Ethan Hawke – please kill me with your RPG. Fair is fair.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  Heidi Klum on “America’s Got Talent”? How about Heidi Klum on Kimmo Mustonenen?  Please Odin! I would take that over Tuukka Rask (Finnish brother!) winning the Stanley Cup. I am ashamed of this –yet I stand with it.

Heidi, my Kossu, my smoke, and little Kimmo wait for you…

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Comments

  1. Zagnut on June 7, 2013 at 11:14 am said:

    “Gang-banger Christmas.” Good one. I may actually see this.

  2. Keith Bound on June 7, 2013 at 11:29 am said:

    This was an exception film, it took me by surprise and had a profound effect on my afterwards

  3. Eric V on June 7, 2013 at 12:18 pm said:

    Kimmo. Please. Let us drink this Kossu together and watch Game of Thrones. The Red Wedding will give you the Red Purge.

    If there was a real Purge, I would park illegally, crack open ATM machines and face punch parking enforcement workers. And Ethan Hawke. I’d punch him twice.

  4. Megan R. on June 7, 2013 at 12:39 pm said:

    Although I’m not usually a fan of Ethan Hawke, this movie does spark my interest a bit. The posters for The Purge seem cool. I might have to see this one!

  5. Afterburners on June 7, 2013 at 1:37 pm said:

    This is taken from an original Star Trek series episode. Nothing new to see here folks.

  6. madegod on June 7, 2013 at 1:48 pm said:

    This movie actually looks interesting to me when I saw the preview, as it just seems so bizarre. Obviously it’s not going to win any awards, but this might have to make the list of the handful of “bad” movies I see this year.

  7. Rebecca Sanders on June 7, 2013 at 2:58 pm said:

    this review is a bit too off-topic from the movie… or is it just me?

  8. I hate the premise of this film and have no intention of ever seeing it. Also, I don’t understand the appeal of the “home invasion” movie. It’s 90 minutes of watching innocent people tortured with little to no payoff. I thought The Strangers was one of the worst films I have ever seen.

  9. Prancerberg on June 8, 2013 at 3:49 am said:

    This stinkeroozie had Manka Brothers written all over it. But nope, the distributor is Universal. Looks like with a $3 mm budget it will defeat the $65 mm Intern. Now maybe if the lead was Vince Vaughn, the mob would have come out on top

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