Elysium [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Elysium, Neil Blomkamp, Matt Damon, Jodie Foster, Sharito Copley, Alice Braga, Diego Luna, Wagner Moura, William Fichtner, Brandon Auret, Josh Blacker, Emma Tremblay, Jose Pablo Cantillo, Maxwell Perry Cotton, Faran Tahir, Adrian Holmes, Jared Keeso, Carly Pope, Ona Grauer, Michael Shanks, Christina Cox, Terry Chen, Catherine Lough Haggquist, Chris Humphreys, Yolanda Abuud L, Valentina Giron, Mike Mitchell, Chris Sheilds, Johnny Cicco, Josefina Mora, Adrian Vazquez, Derk Gilroy, Jose Moises, Inaki Goci, Christian Vazquez, Alejandro Rae, Mario Perez de Alba, Alejandro Belmonte, Emiliano Menchaca, Francisco Aguilar, Patrick Benoit, Angelina Pratap, Alexander Raymond, Tracy Waterhouse, Sofia Sisniega, Kendall Cross, Julian Christopher, Simon Leung, Robert Gauvin, Dominika Zybko, Fraser Aitcheson, Taras Kostyuk, Jackson Berlin, Hoa Nguyen Bao Huynth, Dallas Blake, Amari Lewis, Carlos Leal Moreno, Mike Carpenter, Heath Stevenson, Lloyd Adams, Cody Laudan, Claude Duhamel, Pauline Egan, Lexie Huber, Billy James, Brie Lunn, Michael Mando, Kathrina Moehlman, Barry Ostash, Alejandro Peraza, Sean O Roberts, Claire Smithies, Talisa Soto, Hugo Steele, Christopher Vivanco, Sue Baden-Powell, Bill Block, Victoria Burkhart, Simon Kinberg, Stacy Perskie, Ryan Amon, Trent Apaloch, Julian Clarke, Lee Smith, Francine Maisler, Philip Ivey, Gitte Axen, Fuad Abed Dalton, Brad Goodman, Brent C.S. O'Connor, Jason Pomerantz, Steven St. Arnaud, Carlos Taibo, Mary Anne Waterhouse, Sebastian Barrera, James Bitonti, Stephanie Tuty Correa, Rachel Fortier, Gary Hawes, Conrad Janzen, David Klohn, Dan Mansfield, Simon Raby, Dustin Lee Abram, Alejandro Aguado, Daniella Sanchez Battenberg, Karen Bergen, Eric Calatayud, Simon Carrigan, David Aaron Cook, Vincent Dela Luna, Erin Dixon, Catherine Dunne, Rob Evans, Vicente Gil, Kim Goddard-Rains, Sandra Matossi, Carlos Munoz Portal, Dave Nall, Juan Pablo Noval, Mark Shultz, Portia Tickell, Darren Wong, Mariela ZapataElysium

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

The days of a dog summer are arrived.

The testicle kick torture that is summer movie season nears its end.

How much more can my two amigos take?

“The Great Gatsby” – pow, right in the pills.

“Fast and the Furious 6″ – a hard punch to the giggleberries.

“White House Downer” – bitch slap to my plucked turkeys.

My junk can take no more. My area is a mess.

There is hope…  It is called “Elysium.”

Neill Blomkamp made my head kaboom with “District 9.” The story of giant shrimp oppressed and the man (Sharlto Copley) who through a shrimp STD becomes another shrimp. He has their pain. He isn’t a shrimp Nelson Mandela – but that may never be, sadly.  “District 9″ had effects, good. Plot, surprise! Acting, cool.

What did my brain want with “Elysium”?

Good effects, surprise plot, cool acting. One out of three ain’t good (sorry Meatloaf).

Plot? Yes.

Used many times in the past times – used again.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Elysium, Neil Blomkamp, Matt Damon, Jodie Foster, Sharito Copley, Alice Braga, Diego Luna, Wagner Moura, William Fichtner, Brandon Auret, Josh Blacker, Emma Tremblay, Jose Pablo Cantillo, Maxwell Perry Cotton, Faran Tahir, Adrian Holmes, Jared Keeso, Carly Pope, Ona Grauer, Michael Shanks, Christina Cox, Terry Chen, Catherine Lough Haggquist, Chris Humphreys, Yolanda Abuud L, Valentina Giron, Mike Mitchell, Chris Sheilds, Johnny Cicco, Josefina Mora, Adrian Vazquez, Derk Gilroy, Jose Moises, Inaki Goci, Christian Vazquez, Alejandro Rae, Mario Perez de Alba, Alejandro Belmonte, Emiliano Menchaca, Francisco Aguilar, Patrick Benoit, Angelina Pratap, Alexander Raymond, Tracy Waterhouse, Sofia Sisniega, Kendall Cross, Julian Christopher, Simon Leung, Robert Gauvin, Dominika Zybko, Fraser Aitcheson, Taras Kostyuk, Jackson Berlin, Hoa Nguyen Bao Huynth, Dallas Blake, Amari Lewis, Carlos Leal Moreno, Mike Carpenter, Heath Stevenson, Lloyd Adams, Cody Laudan, Claude Duhamel, Pauline Egan, Lexie Huber, Billy James, Brie Lunn, Michael Mando, Kathrina Moehlman, Barry Ostash, Alejandro Peraza, Sean O Roberts, Claire Smithies, Talisa Soto, Hugo Steele, Christopher Vivanco, Sue Baden-Powell, Bill Block, Victoria Burkhart, Simon Kinberg, Stacy Perskie, Ryan Amon, Trent Apaloch, Julian Clarke, Lee Smith, Francine Maisler, Philip Ivey, Gitte Axen, Fuad Abed Dalton, Brad Goodman, Brent C.S. O'Connor, Jason Pomerantz, Steven St. Arnaud, Carlos Taibo, Mary Anne Waterhouse, Sebastian Barrera, James Bitonti, Stephanie Tuty Correa, Rachel Fortier, Gary Hawes, Conrad Janzen, David Klohn, Dan Mansfield, Simon Raby, Dustin Lee Abram, Alejandro Aguado, Daniella Sanchez Battenberg, Karen Bergen, Eric Calatayud, Simon Carrigan, David Aaron Cook, Vincent Dela Luna, Erin Dixon, Catherine Dunne, Rob Evans, Vicente Gil, Kim Goddard-Rains, Sandra Matossi, Carlos Munoz Portal, Dave Nall, Juan Pablo Noval, Mark Shultz, Portia Tickell, Darren Wong, Mariela ZapataIn the further future, after “Blade Runner,” the rain has stopped in Los Angeles. The Japanese people have gone back to their homes and the Hispanics have returned from Japan.

It is daylight. Neon is not longer in fashion. Robots look like robots, not “I wanna make a little replicant with you” replicants like Sean Young (in the last century, she had for the hot – no shit).

Max (Matt Damon) was a child with Frey (Alice Braga). They are cute orphans. We cannot smell their orphan smell, so we still like them.

When older, Max having starred in “Fast and The Furious 73,” now just wants to build robots and be harassed by cop robots who are really cops from today in robot suits.

All are dusty and tattooed. All want to go up to Elysium.

Especially when Max gets a case of special die in exactly five days radiation.

Why Elysium?

Elysium is Las Vegas, but with healing, without cigarette smoke.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Elysium, Neil Blomkamp, Matt Damon, Jodie Foster, Sharito Copley, Alice Braga, Diego Luna, Wagner Moura, William Fichtner, Brandon Auret, Josh Blacker, Emma Tremblay, Jose Pablo Cantillo, Maxwell Perry Cotton, Faran Tahir, Adrian Holmes, Jared Keeso, Carly Pope, Ona Grauer, Michael Shanks, Christina Cox, Terry Chen, Catherine Lough Haggquist, Chris Humphreys, Yolanda Abuud L, Valentina Giron, Mike Mitchell, Chris Sheilds, Johnny Cicco, Josefina Mora, Adrian Vazquez, Derk Gilroy, Jose Moises, Inaki Goci, Christian Vazquez, Alejandro Rae, Mario Perez de Alba, Alejandro Belmonte, Emiliano Menchaca, Francisco Aguilar, Patrick Benoit, Angelina Pratap, Alexander Raymond, Tracy Waterhouse, Sofia Sisniega, Kendall Cross, Julian Christopher, Simon Leung, Robert Gauvin, Dominika Zybko, Fraser Aitcheson, Taras Kostyuk, Jackson Berlin, Hoa Nguyen Bao Huynth, Dallas Blake, Amari Lewis, Carlos Leal Moreno, Mike Carpenter, Heath Stevenson, Lloyd Adams, Cody Laudan, Claude Duhamel, Pauline Egan, Lexie Huber, Billy James, Brie Lunn, Michael Mando, Kathrina Moehlman, Barry Ostash, Alejandro Peraza, Sean O Roberts, Claire Smithies, Talisa Soto, Hugo Steele, Christopher Vivanco, Sue Baden-Powell, Bill Block, Victoria Burkhart, Simon Kinberg, Stacy Perskie, Ryan Amon, Trent Apaloch, Julian Clarke, Lee Smith, Francine Maisler, Philip Ivey, Gitte Axen, Fuad Abed Dalton, Brad Goodman, Brent C.S. O'Connor, Jason Pomerantz, Steven St. Arnaud, Carlos Taibo, Mary Anne Waterhouse, Sebastian Barrera, James Bitonti, Stephanie Tuty Correa, Rachel Fortier, Gary Hawes, Conrad Janzen, David Klohn, Dan Mansfield, Simon Raby, Dustin Lee Abram, Alejandro Aguado, Daniella Sanchez Battenberg, Karen Bergen, Eric Calatayud, Simon Carrigan, David Aaron Cook, Vincent Dela Luna, Erin Dixon, Catherine Dunne, Rob Evans, Vicente Gil, Kim Goddard-Rains, Sandra Matossi, Carlos Munoz Portal, Dave Nall, Juan Pablo Noval, Mark Shultz, Portia Tickell, Darren Wong, Mariela ZapataDelacourt (Jodie Foster) wants to keep it Las Vegas and is a bitch.

She hates Hispanics, giant shrimp, possibly the Japanese, and Max.

They are not allowed the Las Vegas.

Not even State Line.

There are mind thought transfers. Max becomes low-budget Transformer. Frey is pretty.  Charles Manson Kruger (Sharlto Copley again –please speak English when speaking English – I will never know how you said what you said until I get the Blu-ray and use the CC) will soon attend Overactor’s Anonymous.

This night was a Kossu only for Kimmo night.

Big mistake.

I could see the future of the film before that future was the now.

Poor people, sad.

Rich people, mean.

Movie goer, still waiting for giant shrimp.

Would a better place be film “Elysium” with the sweet, sweet smoke? This can never be known.

So, two thumbs needing exo-skeleton to stand tall – waiting for five day radiation death, but only having to survive the hour and forty-nine minute movie film which seemed like five day radiation death.

But no 3D! Praise Odin!!!

Bad? No.

Good? No.

Matt Damon? He did many sit-ups and push-ups for preparing to act. I now feel fat.

So… see “Elysium” and feel fat. High praise!

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  Fall is coming. Which says Winter is coming. Which says “Game of Thrones” will return. Soon Westeros will be Finland, with more nudity (and dragons – no dragons in Finland). Who is point with thumbs at his face like a spastic and grinning and saying “who cannot wait for nude Finn Westeros Game of Thrones? This guy!”

Boom!

Related Posts

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo on Kino, The Smurfs, Jean Luc DeFanti, Peyo, Raja Gosnell, J. David Stern, David Weiss, Jay Scherick, David Ronn, Hank Azaria, Neil Patrick Harris, Jayma Mays, Sofia Vergara, Tim Gunn, Madison McKinley, Meg Phillips, Julie Chang, Roger Clark, Mark Doherty, Minglie Chen, Sean Kenin, Victor Pagan, Mahadeo Shivraj, Adria Baratta, Paula Pizzi, Andrew Sellon, Julianne Rigoglioso, Daria Rae Figlo, Bradley Gosnell, Heidi Armbruster, Finnerty Steeves, John Speredakos, Skai Jackson, Alex Hall, Eric Redgate, Jojo Gonzalez, Scott Dillin, Tyree Michael Simpson, Sean Ringgold, Mario D'Leon, Liz Smith, Tom Colicchio, Michael Musto, Joan Rivers, Olivia Palermo, Julia Enescu, Lauren Waggoner, Mr. Krinkle, Hank, Jonathan Winters, Alan Cumming, Katy Perry, Fred Armisen, George Lopez, Anton Yelchin, Kenan Thompson, Jeff Foxworthy, John Oliver, Wolfgang Puck, Gary Basaraba, Paul Reubens, B.J. Novak, Tom Kane, John Kassir, Joel McCrary, Frank Welker, Ben Haber, Jordan Kerner, Paul Neesan, Ezra Swerdlow, Heitor Pereira, Phil Meheux, Sabrina Plisco, Richard Hicks, David Rubin, Bill Boes, Chris Shriver, Martin Astles, Pamela May, Jayne Armstrong, Peter Thorell, Deborah Greene, Todd Bennett, William Cote, Thomas Place, K.C. Bailey, Michael Cambria, Monica Barraza, Frank Dauro, Will Bigwood, Julia Enescu, Brooke Ensign, Orlando Gonzales, Maxim Knight, Ashley Lambert, Aaron Notestine, Timothy P. O'Shea, Kyle Peck, Brittany Rostron, Leo Shvedsky, Lauren Waggoner, Keith Young

The Smurfs [REVIEW]...

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, The Words, Brian Klugman, Lee Stemthal, Dennis Quaid, JOhn Hannah, Jeremy Irons, Bradley Cooper, Zoe Saldana, Vito DeFilippo, Michael McKean, Lucinda Davis, J.K. Simmons, Olivia Wilde, James Babson, Ron Rifkin, Brian Klugman, Liz Stauber, Ben Barnes, Nora Amezeder, Gianpaolo Venuta, Raphael Grosz-Harvey, Brent Skagford, Andrew MacKay, Zeilijko Ivanek, Weston Middleton, Lee Stemthal, Holden Wong, Anders Yates, Jean-Marie Montbarbut, Robert Paul Chauvelot, Leni Parker, David Gow, Kathleen Fee, Keeva Lynk, Jeanie Hackett, Gordon Masten, Jude Beny, Mark Camacho, Michael Benaroya, Cassian Elwes, Rose Ganguzza, Tatiana Kelly, James Leisek, Laura Rister, Ben Sachs, Francois Sylvestre, Jim Young, Marcelo Zarvos, Antonio Calvache, Leslie Jones, Eyde Belasco, Michele Laliberte, Simonetta Mariano, Michelle Cote, Daniel Voltz, Anabelle Berkani, Eric Gaudry, Erik Bright, Carl Crevier, Josee Francis, Jean Francois Hall, Diane Janna, Randy Manis, Holly O'Brien, Elizabeth Tremblay, Charles Barsamian, Petr Pycha

The Words [REVIEW]...

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo on Kino, Behind The Proscenium, The Hobbit The Desolation of Smaug, JRR Tolkien, Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh, Phillippa Boyens, Guillermo del Toro, Ian McKellen, Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, Ken Stott, Graham McTavish, William Kircher, James Nesbitt, Stephen Hunter, Dean O'Gorman, Aidan Turner, John Callen, Peter Hambleton, Jed Brophy, Mark Hadlow, Adam Brown, Orlando Bloom, Evangeline Lilly, Lee Pace, Cate Blanchett, Benedict Cumberbatch, Mikael Persbrandt, Sylvester McCoy, Luke Evans, Stephen Fry, Ryan Gage, John Bell, Peggy Nesbitt, Mary Nesbitt, Manu Bennett, Lawrence Makoare, Ben Mitchell, Stephen Ure, Craig Hall, Robin Kerr, Eli Kent, Simon London, Brian Sergent, Peter Vere-Jones, Mark Mitchinson, Kelly Kilgour, Sarah Peirse, Nick Blake, Dallas Barnett, Matt Smith, Katie Jackson, Richard Whiteside, Greg Ellis, Ray Henwood, Tim Gordon, Jabez Olssen, Stephen Colbert, Evelyn McGee, Peter Colbert, John Colbert, Norman Kali, Carter Nixon, Zene Weiner, Allan Smith, Billy Connolly, Ian Holm, Christopher Lee, Michael Mzrahi, Terry Notary, Andy Serkis, Conan Stevens, Jeffrey Thomas, Hugo Weaving, Carolynne Cunningham, Matthew Dravitzki, Callum Greene, Ken Kamins, Zane Weiner, Howard Shore, Andrew Lesnie, Victoria Burrows, Dan Hennah, Ra Vincent, Bob Buck, Natalie Abizadeh, Belindalee Hope, Jason Pomerantz, Danielle Blake, Guy Campbell, Emma Cross, Bryon Darling, Bruno Du Bois, Teuila Field, Andy Serkis, Bob Asquith, Simon Barker, Brett Blenkin, Genevieve Aitken, Mark Atkin, Cory Beeston, Mustafa Beyter, Paul Booth, Jason Aldous, Dan Best, Clare Brody, Clare Burlinson, Peter Cobbin, Karen Elliott, Steve Gallagher, Mark Graham, Sarah Allman, Mark Atkin, Rich Baer, Danielle Baneham, Trevor Bau, Julie-Anne Bayliss, Katherine Beyda, Dion Boothby, Shane Boulton, Andy Buckley, Roisin Carty, David Comer, Jared Connon, Bonny Crayford, Leroy Cross, John Cubelic, Nour Dardari, Natalie Doherty, Danield Eady, Kevin Estey, Katie Frost, Rachel Gilkison, Matthew Gordon, Amy Gurr, Jonathan HArding, Jamie Haugh, Johnny Hawkins, Barratt Henry, Cale Hetanni, Tim Hope, Shelley Hopkins, Jake Hurrell, Dean Knowsley, Jon Kuyper, Dale Martin, Danielle Mason, Leith McPherson, Sebastian Meek, Randy Miller, Rohinal Ravinesh Narayan, Jack Nicol, Sharon Ninness, Simon Noakes, Terry Notary, Petra Novotna, Steve Old, Akshay Parbhu, Paul Randall, Vanessa Redmond, Barnaby Riggs, Stephanie Scott, Kiran Shah, Teresa Shand, Rachel Stewart, Paul Stieglbaurer, Hannah Touhy, Brenna Townshend, Tom Treasure, Nick Trugly, Davin Voot, Karla Wallace, Fiona Walsh, Jessica Walsh, Jonathan Weber, Jennifer Whiting, Laurie Wright, Craig Young, Justin Young

The Hobbit: The Desolatio...

Comments

  1. Eric V on August 9, 2013 at 1:19 pm said:

    Kimmo, you need to take a breather and ice down your marbles. This film looks great! It would be greater if there were giant shrimp with powerful laser blasters. Pew pew pew! Thank you, Kimmo, for doing the Lord’s work. Keep praying for more nudity in GoT.

  2. Dan Burns on August 9, 2013 at 1:49 pm said:

    Dan Burns wanted to thank everyone at Sony / TriStar’s for “Elysium” Premiere Wednesday, August 7, at the Regency Village Theatre. 961 Broxton Ave, and the after party at the W in Westwood, had the best time as always. Please keep Dan Burns in mind for all upcoming events. It was great catching up with everyone, Thank You.

  3. Zagnut on August 9, 2013 at 1:58 pm said:

    Aw shit. I really wanted Elysium to be a great movie, not just a good summer movie. Maybe I’ll go see Lovelace instead…

  4. Sandra McGill on August 9, 2013 at 4:16 pm said:

    I HATED District 9 with all of its depressing grit, filth, and hopelessness. Elysium has a lot of the same along with the cheap jerky camera effects that inferior directors like Blomkamp employ to make it look like something exciting is actually happening. I like Damon and he makes this film watchable. I also liked the long shots looking down on Elysium which made me think of Larry Niven’s Sci Fi novel Ringworld (God, I wish they’d make a movie of that one).

    • Stephie in the States on August 13, 2013 at 8:12 am said:

      indeed, who would have the cahones and skill to film RINGWORLD, that would be awesome to the max… yours is the only comment (and/or review) that makes me actually want to pay to see this movie in the theater. a theater that sells alcohol of course, sounds like i’ll need it. cheerios!

  5. I was laughing all the way through. No joke, this was really funny. Thanks.

  6. Ellie Weingardt on August 12, 2013 at 8:58 am said:

    Funny revue. Saw it last night. Class warfare. No workmanship comp.

  7. Great review. Funny as shit and pretty true. But I found myself captivated by the relentless class warfare of Elysium and its long suffering hero. Cliche ending, yes. Massive plot loopholes, yes, but it moved and entertained me more then most of the summer movies.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Current ye@r *