Lee Daniels’ The Butler

[Editor’s Note:  Mr. Mustonenen has taken an unorthodox approach to this week’s review of “Lee Daniels’ The Butler.” We at Behind The Proscenium support his decision completely. If you have any talent and/or interest in film review and criticism, please e-mail us at intern@mankabros.com or let us know why you would be great for the job in the comments below  Thank you for your continued support!]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Lee Daniels' The Butler, Lee Daniels, DAnny STrong, Wil Haygood, Forest Whitaker, David Banner, Michael Rainey, Jr, LaJessie Smith, Mariah Carey, Alex Pettyfer, Vanessa Redgrave, Ami Ameen, Clarence Williams III, John P Fertitta, Jim Gleason, Oprah Winfrey, Isaac White, David Oyelowo, Joe Chrest, Colman Domingo, Adriane Lenox, Terrence Howard, Tyson Ford, Cuba Gooding, Lenny Kravitz, Pernell Walker, James DuMont, Robert Aberdeen, Robin Williams, John Cusack, Olivia Washington, Yaya Allafia, Jesse Williams, Margaret M Owens, Eric Ducote, James Marsden, Minka Kelly, Chloe Barach, Danny Strong, Clara Hopkins Daniels, Elijah Kelley, Liev Schreiber, Dana Gourrier, Shirley Pugh, Bill Newman, Nelsan Ellis, Colin Walker, Alex Manette, Mo McRae, Alan Rickman, Jane Fonda, Rusty Robertson, Nealla Gordon, Stephen Rider, John L Armijo, Jon Arthur, Rex Baker, Joshua Braud, Blake Burt, Carroll Burt, Jonathan Aaron Butler, Tom Cain, Edward Clare, Markeith Coleman, Ross P Cook, Duane Cothren, Haylie Creppel, Steven Daniels, Justin Edward Davis, Donna Duplantier, Adrienne Esteen, Guy Fernandez, Justin Gant, Ray Gaspard, Tyler Gibbs, Russell Haeuser, A MIchelle Harleston, Sadarias Harrell, Rodney Hebert, Donna Hubbs, Rahsaana Ison, David Jensen, Jim Johnson, Mark Joyce, Elton LeBlanc, Wanda Leigh, Sam Malone, John Mangus, Starlette Miariaunii, Dorian Morrison, Mary Katherin Oglesby, Monicah Owino, Darryl Perriloux, Renato Powell, Philippe Radelet, Tarra Riggs, Xosha Roquemore, Corrina Roshea, Aaron Saxton, Chaz Smith, Kay Smith, Jim Sojka, Marco St. John, Jason Stanly, Valerie Strecker, Orlando Eric Street, Craig Tate, Shirley Tregre, Joseph Lizzell, Dean West, Michael Whitener, Horatio Bacon, Julia Barry, Len Blavitnik, Charles Sauveur Bonan, James T Bruce IV, Elizabeth Destro, Cassian Elwes, Eric Falkenstein, Michael Finley, Allen Frederic, Manos Gavras, Aviv Giladi, Adonis Hadjiantonas, Wil Haygood, Andrew Herwitz, Valerie Hoffman, Vince Holden, David Jacobson, Brett Johnson, Sheila C Johnson, Jordan Kessler, Kim Leadford, Harry I Martin Jr, Adam Merims, Christina Papagika, Buddy Patrick, Ari Daniel Pinchot, David Ranes, Jonathan Rubenstein, Bobby Sain, Matthew Salloway, Simone Sheffield, Hilary Shore, Earl W Stafford, Pamela Oas Williams R Bryan Wright, Laura Ziskin, Rodrigo Leao, Andrew Dunn, Joe Klotz, Leah Daniels, Lori Agostino, Ruth E Carter, Mark Brown, Peter Dress, Renee Marsella, Anastacia C Nernec, Lisa Satriano, Kim Bailey, Teall Barnes, Maxwell Berry, Alex Lee Bonner, Kris Butler, Erika Canchola, Trang Dang, Brittney Diez, Jessica Drake, Frank Duffy, Jillian Gallant, Jeff Galpin, Shane Grady, Deborah Harpur, Ashlee Kilchrist, Stephen Kinigopoulos, Yana Collins Lehman, Mark Miller, Mike Revell, Lauren Von Huene, Scott Varnado, Davida SmithLee Daniels’ The Butler

With Wit, NOT Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

This is not reviewing a movie.

I did not see the movie and feel that to review what did not walk on my eyes would be like a lie, but with less evil.

More of leading you into a non-existence that would be now existing, but impossible. 

Like Silver Lake, but with less neck-beard, skinny jean, fake eyeglass wearing hipster douching bags.  

Or just as many. I don’t know. I didn’t see it.

Crazy.

So. I sit in my car, maximum bonging taking up my last minutes before to work I must go.

My lung sacks burned by the sweet, sweet smoke. My mind now has the “artist time” thoughts.

Also the “I’m for the chewing of popcorn” thoughts and “time for a shot of Kossu” thoughts and “that American girl has twin pendulous personalities” thoughts (nerds, I am referring to epic boob-dom – touch one/both sometime, it is awesome).

My ass crack is ready for theater seating.

Then my eyeballs are swung to the marquee. My mind now has not thoughts.

My mind is “WTF?”

Because my mind sees (with the eyeball help) “Lee Daniels’ The Butler.”

I am confusion.

I am to see “The Butler.” Who in Justin Bieber hell is Lee Daniels? And how does his name grow in front of a movie?

Tyler Perry may do this. He is the Queen of Drag and may command it.

I have no remembering of any other asshole with a name before a movie.

Oh. Cheech and Chong. But they share a genius brain and I think I am related.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Lee Daniels' The Butler, Lee Daniels, DAnny STrong, Wil Haygood, Forest Whitaker, David Banner, Michael Rainey, Jr, LaJessie Smith, Mariah Carey, Alex Pettyfer, Vanessa Redgrave, Ami Ameen, Clarence Williams III, John P Fertitta, Jim Gleason, Oprah Winfrey, Isaac White, David Oyelowo, Joe Chrest, Colman Domingo, Adriane Lenox, Terrence Howard, Tyson Ford, Cuba Gooding, Lenny Kravitz, Pernell Walker, James DuMont, Robert Aberdeen, Robin Williams, John Cusack, Olivia Washington, Yaya Allafia, Jesse Williams, Margaret M Owens, Eric Ducote, James Marsden, Minka Kelly, Chloe Barach, Danny Strong, Clara Hopkins Daniels, Elijah Kelley, Liev Schreiber, Dana Gourrier, Shirley Pugh, Bill Newman, Nelsan Ellis, Colin Walker, Alex Manette, Mo McRae, Alan Rickman, Jane Fonda, Rusty Robertson, Nealla Gordon, Stephen Rider, John L Armijo, Jon Arthur, Rex Baker, Joshua Braud, Blake Burt, Carroll Burt, Jonathan Aaron Butler, Tom Cain, Edward Clare, Markeith Coleman, Ross P Cook, Duane Cothren, Haylie Creppel, Steven Daniels, Justin Edward Davis, Donna Duplantier, Adrienne Esteen, Guy Fernandez, Justin Gant, Ray Gaspard, Tyler Gibbs, Russell Haeuser, A MIchelle Harleston, Sadarias Harrell, Rodney Hebert, Donna Hubbs, Rahsaana Ison, David Jensen, Jim Johnson, Mark Joyce, Elton LeBlanc, Wanda Leigh, Sam Malone, John Mangus, Starlette Miariaunii, Dorian Morrison, Mary Katherin Oglesby, Monicah Owino, Darryl Perriloux, Renato Powell, Philippe Radelet, Tarra Riggs, Xosha Roquemore, Corrina Roshea, Aaron Saxton, Chaz Smith, Kay Smith, Jim Sojka, Marco St. John, Jason Stanly, Valerie Strecker, Orlando Eric Street, Craig Tate, Shirley Tregre, Joseph Lizzell, Dean West, Michael Whitener, Horatio Bacon, Julia Barry, Len Blavitnik, Charles Sauveur Bonan, James T Bruce IV, Elizabeth Destro, Cassian Elwes, Eric Falkenstein, Michael Finley, Allen Frederic, Manos Gavras, Aviv Giladi, Adonis Hadjiantonas, Wil Haygood, Andrew Herwitz, Valerie Hoffman, Vince Holden, David Jacobson, Brett Johnson, Sheila C Johnson, Jordan Kessler, Kim Leadford, Harry I Martin Jr, Adam Merims, Christina Papagika, Buddy Patrick, Ari Daniel Pinchot, David Ranes, Jonathan Rubenstein, Bobby Sain, Matthew Salloway, Simone Sheffield, Hilary Shore, Earl W Stafford, Pamela Oas Williams R Bryan Wright, Laura Ziskin, Rodrigo Leao, Andrew Dunn, Joe Klotz, Leah Daniels, Lori Agostino, Ruth E Carter, Mark Brown, Peter Dress, Renee Marsella, Anastacia C Nernec, Lisa Satriano, Kim Bailey, Teall Barnes, Maxwell Berry, Alex Lee Bonner, Kris Butler, Erika Canchola, Trang Dang, Brittney Diez, Jessica Drake, Frank Duffy, Jillian Gallant, Jeff Galpin, Shane Grady, Deborah Harpur, Ashlee Kilchrist, Stephen Kinigopoulos, Yana Collins Lehman, Mark Miller, Mike Revell, Lauren Von Huene, Scott Varnado, Davida SmithMr. Daniels man has an ego inflated like my stomach balloon after six Taco Bell Nacho Cheese Loco Tacos. Only with the taco orgy, I can later lift a butt cheek and deflate myself hideously.

Nothing could deflate Mr. Daniels. Proof?

His last asshole movie name was “Precious (Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire).” 

WTF? This man is an asshole. Or as we cry in Finland, “sir, you are an asshole.”

Lee Daniels, sir, you are an asshole.

By the time these thoughts choke for air in my car and mind, thinking and thinking (and hating), I am seeing that movie time for watching is in the past 30 minutes. Do I stay? Do I go?

Then I think, “if this dick-face made “Shark Night in 3D 2” I would not let my eyes watch.”

I speak the truth. What an ass-hat.

So, now, I must talk on the good. And the good was even gooder. Not cinema. No.

“Breaking Bad, Season 5B, Episode One.” 

I will never be Mr. Meth-Head tweeker, spitting teeth into the breakfast and hair balls like the cat. Bad news. But why couldn’t Walter White (Bryan Cranston) had the botany hard on?

Good thing that is a no – because his ganj would be in my bowl, and I would be forever in the parking lot, pupils pointed at the marquee, thinking “Who the hell does this jerking off Lee Daniels think he is?”

There would still be much waiting for an answer… but MUCH less of the caring.

For concluding: Lee Daniels, my whirling butt-cherry is for the kissing. Now.

Next week – “The World’s End.”  Nerds, start your engine motors!

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6 comments

  1. Zagnut · August 16, 2013

    But hasn’t Lee Daniels won multiple Oscars for his brilliant directing?

    Oh, that’s right…

    Carry on.

  2. Gail Davis · August 16, 2013

    I found this article quite hard to understand, some parts an interesting take and wondering what the sense of it was to write it.

  3. Megan R. · August 16, 2013

    You da man Kimmo!

  4. Jimbo · August 16, 2013

    Hunter S. Thompson lives! I enjoyed that “review” and had come to the same superficial conclusion: “Who does Lee Daniels think he is?”

  5. Nick · August 16, 2013

    I understand. I cannot bring myself to go see this pretentious movie.

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