Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscnium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo on Kino, RoboCop, Jose Padilha, Joshua Zetumer, Edward Neumeier, Michael Miner, Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Abbie Cornish, Jackie Earle Haley, Michael K Williams, Jennifer Ehle, Jay Baruchel, Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Samuel L Jackson, Aimee Garcia, Douglas Urbanski, John Paul Ruttan, Patrick Garrow, K.C. Collins, Daniel Kash, Zach Grenier, Maura Grierson, Stewart Arnott, Matt Cook, Steve Cumyn, Noorin Gulamgaus, Marjan Neshat, Meysam Motazedi, Khaliya Hosein, Savana Hosein, Phillip Akin, Paul Haywood, Adrian Griffin, Rich Huges, Raffi Atounian, Melanie Scrofano, Kelvin Wheeler, Alex Mallan, Dwayne McLean, Tattiawna Jones, Wayne Downer, Robert Thomas, Jordan Johnson-Hinds, Ian Peters, Ricardo Betancourt, Evan Stern, Ishan Morris, Ambrose Wong, Mark McKay, Aurora Browne, Rory o'Shea, Shondra Kayd, Stacey Unsworth, Jeana Lowes, Kanu Giddings, Tamara Almeida, Shane Invervary, Paul Sun-Hyung Lee, Thomas Mitchell, Ian Butcher, Rocky Anderson, Dallas Blake, Barry Nerling, Dean Redman, Demord Dann, Darcy Hinds, Sean Francis, Steve Wright, Kirby Morrow, David Harcourt, Kevin Hare, Carlyn Burchell, Markus Panilo, Jessica Booker, Joe Merritt, Raiden Eastman, Aallyah Cinello, Meghan Hoople, Prince Massey, Mark Baldesarra, Jason Bigio, Tommy Chang, Jimmy Chimarios, Raven Cinello, Brian Cranstone, Tazito Garcia, WBBrown, Diezel Ramos, Jon Rhys, Rebecca Rodley, Azra Valani, Joe Vercillo, Joshua William James, Peter Yan, Marc Abraham, Gary Barber, Roger Birnbaum, Bill Carraro, Brad Fischer, Mike Medavoy, Arnold Messer, Eric Newman, Pedro Bronfman, Lula Varvalho, Peter McNulty, Daniel Rezende, Diane Kerbel, Martin Whist, Patrick Banister, April Ferry, Greg Denny, Lyn Lucibello, Lisa Rodgers, Jeff JJ Authors, Yari Azzopardi, Mitch Cappe, Penny Charter, Romy Barber, Brett Carroll, Mary Juric, Kacie Kane, Blair Miller, Mitch Paulson, Gustavo Borner, Marc Miller, Nick Carraro, Scott Alexander, Lynell Bangs, Gavin Behrman, Kameron Bodaly, Jared Burton, Jason Chan, Joel Cyr, Colin Czarnecki, Hans Dayal, Kait Dubbiestyne, Katharine Duke, Andrea Eisen, Joe Everett, Davina Faye, Meredith Garstin, Sabine Graham, Jenna Hamilton, Marie-Claude Hamois, Jessica Johnston, Paul Kalkman, Ainslee Kennedy, Michele Kokkinakis, Carmen Levy, Volney McFarlin, Jeff Mohs

RoboCop [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscnium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo on Kino, RoboCop, Jose Padilha, Joshua Zetumer, Edward Neumeier, Michael Miner, Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Abbie Cornish, Jackie Earle Haley, Michael K Williams, Jennifer Ehle, Jay Baruchel, Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Samuel L Jackson, Aimee Garcia, Douglas Urbanski, John Paul Ruttan, Patrick Garrow, K.C. Collins, Daniel Kash, Zach Grenier, Maura Grierson, Stewart Arnott, Matt Cook, Steve Cumyn, Noorin Gulamgaus, Marjan Neshat, Meysam Motazedi, Khaliya Hosein, Savana Hosein, Phillip Akin, Paul Haywood, Adrian Griffin, Rich Huges, Raffi Atounian, Melanie Scrofano, Kelvin Wheeler, Alex Mallan, Dwayne McLean, Tattiawna Jones, Wayne Downer, Robert Thomas, Jordan Johnson-Hinds, Ian Peters, Ricardo Betancourt, Evan Stern, Ishan Morris, Ambrose Wong, Mark McKay, Aurora Browne, Rory o'Shea, Shondra Kayd, Stacey Unsworth, Jeana Lowes, Kanu Giddings, Tamara Almeida, Shane Invervary, Paul Sun-Hyung Lee, Thomas Mitchell, Ian Butcher, Rocky Anderson, Dallas Blake, Barry Nerling, Dean Redman, Demord Dann, Darcy Hinds, Sean Francis, Steve Wright, Kirby Morrow, David Harcourt, Kevin Hare, Carlyn Burchell, Markus Panilo, Jessica Booker, Joe Merritt, Raiden Eastman, Aallyah Cinello, Meghan Hoople, Prince Massey, Mark Baldesarra, Jason Bigio, Tommy Chang, Jimmy Chimarios, Raven Cinello, Brian Cranstone, Tazito Garcia, WBBrown, Diezel Ramos, Jon Rhys, Rebecca Rodley, Azra Valani, Joe Vercillo, Joshua William James, Peter Yan, Marc Abraham, Gary Barber, Roger Birnbaum, Bill Carraro, Brad Fischer, Mike Medavoy, Arnold Messer, Eric Newman, Pedro Bronfman, Lula Varvalho, Peter McNulty, Daniel Rezende, Diane Kerbel, Martin Whist, Patrick Banister, April Ferry, Greg Denny, Lyn Lucibello, Lisa Rodgers, Jeff JJ Authors, Yari Azzopardi, Mitch Cappe, Penny Charter, Romy Barber, Brett Carroll, Mary Juric, Kacie Kane, Blair Miller, Mitch Paulson, Gustavo Borner, Marc Miller, Nick Carraro, Scott Alexander, Lynell Bangs, Gavin Behrman, Kameron Bodaly, Jared Burton, Jason Chan, Joel Cyr, Colin Czarnecki, Hans Dayal, Kait Dubbiestyne, Katharine Duke, Andrea Eisen, Joe Everett, Davina Faye, Meredith Garstin, Sabine Graham, Jenna Hamilton, Marie-Claude Hamois, Jessica Johnston, Paul Kalkman, Ainslee Kennedy, Michele Kokkinakis, Carmen Levy, Volney McFarlin, Jeff MohsRoboCop

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

I don’t want to sound like a bitch bitching.

Yet things are forever the same.

Scene: Interior: Hollywood. Oldsters with the graying heads talk.

Oldster One: I have no idea of anything.

Oldster Two: I have to poop.

Oldster Three: Back in the day…

Then, into the room walks a younger oldster – a goddamn MBA.

Goddamn MBA: We don’t for having ideas. I just saw “RoboCop” from year’s long gone last night on IFC. Let’s make it three more times! If I had one original idea it would be my FIRST!!!

End Scene.

So I see the new “RoboCop.” 

I fall back in to old ways.

I smoke the sweet, sweet smoke. I drink the Kossu. Ice cream bon-bons pressed against my taint. And I wonder – can this not be a suck-fest?

Can this be a mind changing of my mind event? Then there is the movie start.

MGM lion makes “Thrrrrrbbb, thrrrbbb” sound with the lion lips instead of “roar, I will eat your ass” sound.

So I turn to hot Finnish date Aino (her boobs are like rockets). Her look says “you are not too high – the lion just “thrrrrrbbbb”-ed.”

Man, this is movie done right!!!

And, do lions have lips?

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscnium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo on Kino, RoboCop, Jose Padilha, Joshua Zetumer, Edward Neumeier, Michael Miner, Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Abbie Cornish, Jackie Earle Haley, Michael K Williams, Jennifer Ehle, Jay Baruchel, Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Samuel L Jackson, Aimee Garcia, Douglas Urbanski, John Paul Ruttan, Patrick Garrow, K.C. Collins, Daniel Kash, Zach Grenier, Maura Grierson, Stewart Arnott, Matt Cook, Steve Cumyn, Noorin Gulamgaus, Marjan Neshat, Meysam Motazedi, Khaliya Hosein, Savana Hosein, Phillip Akin, Paul Haywood, Adrian Griffin, Rich Huges, Raffi Atounian, Melanie Scrofano, Kelvin Wheeler, Alex Mallan, Dwayne McLean, Tattiawna Jones, Wayne Downer, Robert Thomas, Jordan Johnson-Hinds, Ian Peters, Ricardo Betancourt, Evan Stern, Ishan Morris, Ambrose Wong, Mark McKay, Aurora Browne, Rory o'Shea, Shondra Kayd, Stacey Unsworth, Jeana Lowes, Kanu Giddings, Tamara Almeida, Shane Invervary, Paul Sun-Hyung Lee, Thomas Mitchell, Ian Butcher, Rocky Anderson, Dallas Blake, Barry Nerling, Dean Redman, Demord Dann, Darcy Hinds, Sean Francis, Steve Wright, Kirby Morrow, David Harcourt, Kevin Hare, Carlyn Burchell, Markus Panilo, Jessica Booker, Joe Merritt, Raiden Eastman, Aallyah Cinello, Meghan Hoople, Prince Massey, Mark Baldesarra, Jason Bigio, Tommy Chang, Jimmy Chimarios, Raven Cinello, Brian Cranstone, Tazito Garcia, WBBrown, Diezel Ramos, Jon Rhys, Rebecca Rodley, Azra Valani, Joe Vercillo, Joshua William James, Peter Yan, Marc Abraham, Gary Barber, Roger Birnbaum, Bill Carraro, Brad Fischer, Mike Medavoy, Arnold Messer, Eric Newman, Pedro Bronfman, Lula Varvalho, Peter McNulty, Daniel Rezende, Diane Kerbel, Martin Whist, Patrick Banister, April Ferry, Greg Denny, Lyn Lucibello, Lisa Rodgers, Jeff JJ Authors, Yari Azzopardi, Mitch Cappe, Penny Charter, Romy Barber, Brett Carroll, Mary Juric, Kacie Kane, Blair Miller, Mitch Paulson, Gustavo Borner, Marc Miller, Nick Carraro, Scott Alexander, Lynell Bangs, Gavin Behrman, Kameron Bodaly, Jared Burton, Jason Chan, Joel Cyr, Colin Czarnecki, Hans Dayal, Kait Dubbiestyne, Katharine Duke, Andrea Eisen, Joe Everett, Davina Faye, Meredith Garstin, Sabine Graham, Jenna Hamilton, Marie-Claude Hamois, Jessica Johnston, Paul Kalkman, Ainslee Kennedy, Michele Kokkinakis, Carmen Levy, Volney McFarlin, Jeff MohsPlot? OK.

Then the movie really starts. We have seen this in the before. Cop Murphy (Joel Kinnaman), soon to be Cop – Robo, has hot marriage ruining wife (Reese Witherspoon thanks you, Abbie Cornish).

He is good cop. He must fight cops for who to them good is just bad.

And more profitable.

Then the kaboom.

Enter Dr. Norton (Gary Oldmam) who works for the worst Batman (Michael Keaton) to make a robot cop a human/robot cop that will make liberals squeal and let drones fly our skies and walk our streets.

And he does.

Black Bill O’Reilly (Samuel L. Jackson) lets from his mouth place propaganda squirt. We must have robot cops. Drones are for the making of the friendly sky.

OK. I get it. Today has so many more troubles than 1987 things must be redone.

Or maybe not.

Damn, thinking is harder than not for thinking.

But the remake must be the remade. We have no choice.

For one more time this year I feel that I am watching Brad on the X-Box. (Brad is asshole roommate, but he did replace his eaten PB with the crunchy. Nice first step, Brad. Dick.)

Brad’s RoboCop rides a motorcycle. Well done!

Brad’s RoboCop hunts down bad guys with face mask giving him cheats. Done even better!

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscnium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo on Kino, RoboCop, Jose Padilha, Joshua Zetumer, Edward Neumeier, Michael Miner, Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Abbie Cornish, Jackie Earle Haley, Michael K Williams, Jennifer Ehle, Jay Baruchel, Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Samuel L Jackson, Aimee Garcia, Douglas Urbanski, John Paul Ruttan, Patrick Garrow, K.C. Collins, Daniel Kash, Zach Grenier, Maura Grierson, Stewart Arnott, Matt Cook, Steve Cumyn, Noorin Gulamgaus, Marjan Neshat, Meysam Motazedi, Khaliya Hosein, Savana Hosein, Phillip Akin, Paul Haywood, Adrian Griffin, Rich Huges, Raffi Atounian, Melanie Scrofano, Kelvin Wheeler, Alex Mallan, Dwayne McLean, Tattiawna Jones, Wayne Downer, Robert Thomas, Jordan Johnson-Hinds, Ian Peters, Ricardo Betancourt, Evan Stern, Ishan Morris, Ambrose Wong, Mark McKay, Aurora Browne, Rory o'Shea, Shondra Kayd, Stacey Unsworth, Jeana Lowes, Kanu Giddings, Tamara Almeida, Shane Invervary, Paul Sun-Hyung Lee, Thomas Mitchell, Ian Butcher, Rocky Anderson, Dallas Blake, Barry Nerling, Dean Redman, Demord Dann, Darcy Hinds, Sean Francis, Steve Wright, Kirby Morrow, David Harcourt, Kevin Hare, Carlyn Burchell, Markus Panilo, Jessica Booker, Joe Merritt, Raiden Eastman, Aallyah Cinello, Meghan Hoople, Prince Massey, Mark Baldesarra, Jason Bigio, Tommy Chang, Jimmy Chimarios, Raven Cinello, Brian Cranstone, Tazito Garcia, WBBrown, Diezel Ramos, Jon Rhys, Rebecca Rodley, Azra Valani, Joe Vercillo, Joshua William James, Peter Yan, Marc Abraham, Gary Barber, Roger Birnbaum, Bill Carraro, Brad Fischer, Mike Medavoy, Arnold Messer, Eric Newman, Pedro Bronfman, Lula Varvalho, Peter McNulty, Daniel Rezende, Diane Kerbel, Martin Whist, Patrick Banister, April Ferry, Greg Denny, Lyn Lucibello, Lisa Rodgers, Jeff JJ Authors, Yari Azzopardi, Mitch Cappe, Penny Charter, Romy Barber, Brett Carroll, Mary Juric, Kacie Kane, Blair Miller, Mitch Paulson, Gustavo Borner, Marc Miller, Nick Carraro, Scott Alexander, Lynell Bangs, Gavin Behrman, Kameron Bodaly, Jared Burton, Jason Chan, Joel Cyr, Colin Czarnecki, Hans Dayal, Kait Dubbiestyne, Katharine Duke, Andrea Eisen, Joe Everett, Davina Faye, Meredith Garstin, Sabine Graham, Jenna Hamilton, Marie-Claude Hamois, Jessica Johnston, Paul Kalkman, Ainslee Kennedy, Michele Kokkinakis, Carmen Levy, Volney McFarlin, Jeff MohsWhen is my turn? I would like to have the game for the playing.

But no. I must watch.

God dammit.

The last half of “RoboCop” is watching the roommate bogart the controller.

Don’t bogart the controller, my friend – pass it over to me!

So, thumbs are confused. Stuff is cool. Stuff is remade, but not better. 

Where is Red (“come on, dumbass!”)?

Will there ever be new ideas? 

Will the new “300” movie be more guys covered with oil? 

This job is hard and then harder. 

And with summer movies coming, my face makes a sad.

Summer is coming.

Crap storm.

Who will survive?

See “RoboCop” if you must.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  Austria, Finland will crush you. In hockey. In other things, maybe not. Aino (of the buxom wonderness), you can watch the game in my apartment. I promise I will not go psychotic. I cannot promise this for my brother, Olli. He may psychotic and die. Such is being a Finn in Olympics time.

HEAR/SEE KIMMO’S REVIEWS EVERY WEEK RIGHT HERE:

11 comments

  1. Ziggy · February 13, 2014

    You need to post pix of Aino. Pix or it didn’t happen.

  2. Eric V · February 13, 2014

    Hmmmm. Remakes. Has there been a GOOD remake lately? True Grit, maybe? Dredd? Yes, Dredd. I don’t know. So many remakes. So many shits to not give. Kimmo, was Michael Keaton really the worst Batman? I don’t think he was…

    Happy motorboating, you stud.

  3. Megan R. · February 13, 2014

    I liked this movie. Some of the acting really sucked (I’m talking to you Abbie Cornish), but overall it was entertaining!

  4. Zebilon Dread · February 13, 2014

    Your smoking too much of the sweet, sweet smoke and spewing too much of the nonsense from your mouth place.

  5. Naota · February 13, 2014

    So, this is basically another liberal propaganda movie.

    No wonder the industry is failing.

  6. L · February 13, 2014

    Kimmo, I’m sorry Team Canada is going to wipe the floor with Team Fin. I hope your television and household breakables make it through this game. 😉

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