X-Men: Days of Future Past [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo on Kino, X-Men Days of Future Past, Bryan Singer, Simon Kinberg, Jane Goldman, Matthew Vaughn, Hugh Jackman, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Halle Berry, Nicholas Hoult, Anna Paquin, Ellen Page, Peter Dinklage, Shawn Ashmore, Omar Sy, Evan Peters, Josh Helman, Daniel Cudmore, Bingbing Fan, Adan Canto, Booboo Stewart, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Lucas Till, Evan Jonigkeit, Mark Camacho, Alexander Felici, Jan Gerste, Massimo Cannistraro, Mike Dopud, Lee Villeneuve, Andreas Apergis, Robert Montcalm, Gree Lwe, Jaa Smith-Johnson, Alex Ivanovici, Alain Dahan, Freddy Bessa, Patricia Tougas, Michael Lerner, Chris Claremont, Len Wein, Francoic Paquette, Zabryna Guevara, Zehra Levrman, Todd Hallowell, Stan Lee, Kathleen McGill, Josh McLaglen, Hutch Parker, Lauren Shuler Donner, John Ottman, Newton Thomas Sigel, Roger Mussenden, John Myhre, Gordon SimX-Men: Days of Future Past

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Damn.

Sometimes, a guy, with a drunk mind wants to see a movie.

This is all right.

Why not?

Then comes a movie with before a course in the college of your choice you must have been all night using Adderall because this movie is the final of the second semester.

Damn.

Here we go.

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Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo on Kino, X-Men Days of Future Past, Bryan Singer, Simon Kinberg, Jane Goldman, Matthew Vaughn, Hugh Jackman, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Halle Berry, Nicholas Hoult, Anna Paquin, Ellen Page, Peter Dinklage, Shawn Ashmore, Omar Sy, Evan Peters, Josh Helman, Daniel Cudmore, Bingbing Fan, Adan Canto, Booboo Stewart, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Lucas Till, Evan Jonigkeit, Mark Camacho, Alexander Felici, Jan Gerste, Massimo Cannistraro, Mike Dopud, Lee Villeneuve, Andreas Apergis, Robert Montcalm, Gree Lwe, Jaa Smith-Johnson, Alex Ivanovici, Alain Dahan, Freddy Bessa, Patricia Tougas, Michael Lerner, Chris Claremont, Len Wein, Francoic Paquette, Zabryna Guevara, Zehra Levrman, Todd Hallowell, Stan Lee, Kathleen McGill, Josh McLaglen, Hutch Parker, Lauren Shuler Donner, John Ottman, Newton Thomas Sigel, Roger Mussenden, John Myhre, Gordon SimDid you see X-Men (2000)?

Magneto (Ian McKellen) was boss. His strong was not so strong. He messed up Mrs. Liberty, but with effort that makes one short.

There is no worrying, because Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) is hot.

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Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo on Kino, X-Men Days of Future Past, Bryan Singer, Simon Kinberg, Jane Goldman, Matthew Vaughn, Hugh Jackman, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Halle Berry, Nicholas Hoult, Anna Paquin, Ellen Page, Peter Dinklage, Shawn Ashmore, Omar Sy, Evan Peters, Josh Helman, Daniel Cudmore, Bingbing Fan, Adan Canto, Booboo Stewart, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Lucas Till, Evan Jonigkeit, Mark Camacho, Alexander Felici, Jan Gerste, Massimo Cannistraro, Mike Dopud, Lee Villeneuve, Andreas Apergis, Robert Montcalm, Gree Lwe, Jaa Smith-Johnson, Alex Ivanovici, Alain Dahan, Freddy Bessa, Patricia Tougas, Michael Lerner, Chris Claremont, Len Wein, Francoic Paquette, Zabryna Guevara, Zehra Levrman, Todd Hallowell, Stan Lee, Kathleen McGill, Josh McLaglen, Hutch Parker, Lauren Shuler Donner, John Ottman, Newton Thomas Sigel, Roger Mussenden, John Myhre, Gordon SimX2: X-Men United (2003). Now Magneto can lift tons of shit, with mind thoughts.

He must be having brain push-ups, for his brain moving can now win in the MMA.

This is okey dokey, because of Jean Grey.

She is hot.

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Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo on Kino, X-Men Days of Future Past, Bryan Singer, Simon Kinberg, Jane Goldman, Matthew Vaughn, Hugh Jackman, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Halle Berry, Nicholas Hoult, Anna Paquin, Ellen Page, Peter Dinklage, Shawn Ashmore, Omar Sy, Evan Peters, Josh Helman, Daniel Cudmore, Bingbing Fan, Adan Canto, Booboo Stewart, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Lucas Till, Evan Jonigkeit, Mark Camacho, Alexander Felici, Jan Gerste, Massimo Cannistraro, Mike Dopud, Lee Villeneuve, Andreas Apergis, Robert Montcalm, Gree Lwe, Jaa Smith-Johnson, Alex Ivanovici, Alain Dahan, Freddy Bessa, Patricia Tougas, Michael Lerner, Chris Claremont, Len Wein, Francoic Paquette, Zabryna Guevara, Zehra Levrman, Todd Hallowell, Stan Lee, Kathleen McGill, Josh McLaglen, Hutch Parker, Lauren Shuler Donner, John Ottman, Newton Thomas Sigel, Roger Mussenden, John Myhre, Gordon SimX-Men: The Last Stand (2006). Magneto lifts really big stuff, from far, far away (bridges, submarines).

He is somehow badder, bigger, yet with mad wrinkle-age.

I’m all “eh”, because Phoenix (Famke Janssen) is still for hot.

Except for the dying.

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Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo on Kino, X-Men Days of Future Past, Bryan Singer, Simon Kinberg, Jane Goldman, Matthew Vaughn, Hugh Jackman, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Halle Berry, Nicholas Hoult, Anna Paquin, Ellen Page, Peter Dinklage, Shawn Ashmore, Omar Sy, Evan Peters, Josh Helman, Daniel Cudmore, Bingbing Fan, Adan Canto, Booboo Stewart, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Lucas Till, Evan Jonigkeit, Mark Camacho, Alexander Felici, Jan Gerste, Massimo Cannistraro, Mike Dopud, Lee Villeneuve, Andreas Apergis, Robert Montcalm, Gree Lwe, Jaa Smith-Johnson, Alex Ivanovici, Alain Dahan, Freddy Bessa, Patricia Tougas, Michael Lerner, Chris Claremont, Len Wein, Francoic Paquette, Zabryna Guevara, Zehra Levrman, Todd Hallowell, Stan Lee, Kathleen McGill, Josh McLaglen, Hutch Parker, Lauren Shuler Donner, John Ottman, Newton Thomas Sigel, Roger Mussenden, John Myhre, Gordon SimX-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009).

Really?

 

 

 

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Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo on Kino, X-Men Days of Future Past, Bryan Singer, Simon Kinberg, Jane Goldman, Matthew Vaughn, Hugh Jackman, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Halle Berry, Nicholas Hoult, Anna Paquin, Ellen Page, Peter Dinklage, Shawn Ashmore, Omar Sy, Evan Peters, Josh Helman, Daniel Cudmore, Bingbing Fan, Adan Canto, Booboo Stewart, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Lucas Till, Evan Jonigkeit, Mark Camacho, Alexander Felici, Jan Gerste, Massimo Cannistraro, Mike Dopud, Lee Villeneuve, Andreas Apergis, Robert Montcalm, Gree Lwe, Jaa Smith-Johnson, Alex Ivanovici, Alain Dahan, Freddy Bessa, Patricia Tougas, Michael Lerner, Chris Claremont, Len Wein, Francoic Paquette, Zabryna Guevara, Zehra Levrman, Todd Hallowell, Stan Lee, Kathleen McGill, Josh McLaglen, Hutch Parker, Lauren Shuler Donner, John Ottman, Newton Thomas Sigel, Roger Mussenden, John Myhre, Gordon SimX-Men: First Class (2011). Back in time, Magneto (Michael Fassbender – not naked) has more powers than old-time Magneto in the future.

There is no sense in this to be made. Mystique (Rebecca Romijn) is now Raven (Jennifer Lawrence).

This a trade up.

My man parts approve. Boing!!!

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Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo on Kino, X-Men Days of Future Past, Bryan Singer, Simon Kinberg, Jane Goldman, Matthew Vaughn, Hugh Jackman, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Halle Berry, Nicholas Hoult, Anna Paquin, Ellen Page, Peter Dinklage, Shawn Ashmore, Omar Sy, Evan Peters, Josh Helman, Daniel Cudmore, Bingbing Fan, Adan Canto, Booboo Stewart, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Lucas Till, Evan Jonigkeit, Mark Camacho, Alexander Felici, Jan Gerste, Massimo Cannistraro, Mike Dopud, Lee Villeneuve, Andreas Apergis, Robert Montcalm, Gree Lwe, Jaa Smith-Johnson, Alex Ivanovici, Alain Dahan, Freddy Bessa, Patricia Tougas, Michael Lerner, Chris Claremont, Len Wein, Francoic Paquette, Zabryna Guevara, Zehra Levrman, Todd Hallowell, Stan Lee, Kathleen McGill, Josh McLaglen, Hutch Parker, Lauren Shuler Donner, John Ottman, Newton Thomas Sigel, Roger Mussenden, John Myhre, Gordon SimThe Wolverine (2013).

Stinky poop, with everything Japanese except no Godzilla.

Avoid, unless you cannot.

Then see it while retching.

 

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Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo on Kino, X-Men Days of Future Past, Bryan Singer, Simon Kinberg, Jane Goldman, Matthew Vaughn, Hugh Jackman, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Halle Berry, Nicholas Hoult, Anna Paquin, Ellen Page, Peter Dinklage, Shawn Ashmore, Omar Sy, Evan Peters, Josh Helman, Daniel Cudmore, Bingbing Fan, Adan Canto, Booboo Stewart, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Lucas Till, Evan Jonigkeit, Mark Camacho, Alexander Felici, Jan Gerste, Massimo Cannistraro, Mike Dopud, Lee Villeneuve, Andreas Apergis, Robert Montcalm, Gree Lwe, Jaa Smith-Johnson, Alex Ivanovici, Alain Dahan, Freddy Bessa, Patricia Tougas, Michael Lerner, Chris Claremont, Len Wein, Francoic Paquette, Zabryna Guevara, Zehra Levrman, Todd Hallowell, Stan Lee, Kathleen McGill, Josh McLaglen, Hutch Parker, Lauren Shuler Donner, John Ottman, Newton Thomas Sigel, Roger Mussenden, John Myhre, Gordon SimX-Men: Days of Future Past (2014).

Finally!

We are at the time of the movie for me and the reviewing!

But, sadness, I am almost out of words.

Plot? Shit-tons of plot.

I will sum up in as less words than I can hope to type.

First is the future.

Asshole robots are killing all for just breathing air.

So bad is it all that mutants go to China for figuring out of the crap.

Here, the writers are all “Hey, Kitty Pryde (Ellen Page), we have no original ideas, so, in bad science fiction writer fashion, back in time you send Wolverine’s (Hugh Jackman) thought-essence to.”

It is like J.J. Abrams took a squat on this film from his butt.

The past has wide collars and wider pants legs. It is disturbing.

Mystique turns in to Foxy Brown – this makes my eyes wide, and brings the bottle to my mouth hole.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo on Kino, X-Men Days of Future Past, Bryan Singer, Simon Kinberg, Jane Goldman, Matthew Vaughn, Hugh Jackman, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Halle Berry, Nicholas Hoult, Anna Paquin, Ellen Page, Peter Dinklage, Shawn Ashmore, Omar Sy, Evan Peters, Josh Helman, Daniel Cudmore, Bingbing Fan, Adan Canto, Booboo Stewart, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Lucas Till, Evan Jonigkeit, Mark Camacho, Alexander Felici, Jan Gerste, Massimo Cannistraro, Mike Dopud, Lee Villeneuve, Andreas Apergis, Robert Montcalm, Gree Lwe, Jaa Smith-Johnson, Alex Ivanovici, Alain Dahan, Freddy Bessa, Patricia Tougas, Michael Lerner, Chris Claremont, Len Wein, Francoic Paquette, Zabryna Guevara, Zehra Levrman, Todd Hallowell, Stan Lee, Kathleen McGill, Josh McLaglen, Hutch Parker, Lauren Shuler Donner, John Ottman, Newton Thomas Sigel, Roger Mussenden, John Myhre, Gordon SimThere is Vietnam, and Magneto (Fassbender again, and still no dangling parts dangling). He killed Kennedy and is now under the Pentagon being punished, very sad.

Now, things are more crazier.

Many things happen.

My brain goes, “slow down X-Men movie, for I have no clues as to what the hell!”

Then there is a Nixon.

Past Magneto can lift an entire stadium! In 1973 – yet in 2000 he cannot. So more brain “what the hell.”

Then I remember!

Ah, there is no sense in comic book movies.

This is not science fiction.

Comic books!

I now forgive.

If infant Magneto can lift planet Earth, do it son! Nothing must be of sense making.

Whew!

No more pressure to care who is who, and who is doing what with super powers.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo on Kino, X-Men Days of Future Past, Bryan Singer, Simon Kinberg, Jane Goldman, Matthew Vaughn, Hugh Jackman, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Halle Berry, Nicholas Hoult, Anna Paquin, Ellen Page, Peter Dinklage, Shawn Ashmore, Omar Sy, Evan Peters, Josh Helman, Daniel Cudmore, Bingbing Fan, Adan Canto, Booboo Stewart, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Lucas Till, Evan Jonigkeit, Mark Camacho, Alexander Felici, Jan Gerste, Massimo Cannistraro, Mike Dopud, Lee Villeneuve, Andreas Apergis, Robert Montcalm, Gree Lwe, Jaa Smith-Johnson, Alex Ivanovici, Alain Dahan, Freddy Bessa, Patricia Tougas, Michael Lerner, Chris Claremont, Len Wein, Francoic Paquette, Zabryna Guevara, Zehra Levrman, Todd Hallowell, Stan Lee, Kathleen McGill, Josh McLaglen, Hutch Parker, Lauren Shuler Donner, John Ottman, Newton Thomas Sigel, Roger Mussenden, John Myhre, Gordon SimSo I do not harsh my high and enjoy all that is.

What is the meaning, to you, the viewing person, from me, of the writing?

This – two thumbs up.

A lot happens.

If you did not get an A in X-Men 206 (sophomore level, “who the hell are these characters” course) all is OK.

Drink your drink.

Smoke your smoke.

Stare at Jennifer Lawrence.

Then stare at her some more (I did).

It is worth the $12 ($47 if in 3D).

Take it to the bank.

In the past!

I say this in the present.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. I realize that a Transformer turd movie is sitting on the horizon, looking at my soul. Odin, kill me with fire before I have to look on it to write on it. Please.

Summer is coming…

 

HEAR/SEE KIMMO’S REVIEW RIGHT HERE!

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Comments

  1. Godzirra on May 23, 2014 at 2:00 pm said:

    I liked it much better than my movie. In my movie Monarch was such a secret organization, they painted the name on all their helicopters and the children were possessed and stress-free.

  2. Great page. Thanks.

  3. Magento on May 23, 2014 at 7:31 pm said:

    I mean what are we supposed to do. 20 movies about XMen and we really don’t know about the universe. It’s like when Disney said all those books that supposedly furthered the story after Return of the Jedi are now not valid. What are we supposed to do? What is the story? Huck Finn isn’t in space or there isn’t a new origin story for Huck where he came from space or some such shit.
    What are we supposed to do?

  4. Great review, we kindly share your opinion.
    Awesome Movie, Wonderful Cast! Best XMEN Movie so far! Congratulations to all the cast, director and producers!

    By the way, Did you notice our FABULOUS BACKPACK #PANGOLIN?

    It’s featured right at the beginning of the movie! If you didn’t realize watch it again and you will see. It’s worth watching it all over again! Learn more at http://www.pangolin.com.co

  5. Drunk And High on May 30, 2014 at 12:52 pm said:

    Could you review The Amazing Spider Man Two? The podcast reviews are hilarious. I wish I had a bunch of them on disc so I can listen while I drive. Great reviews.

  6. Kevin on June 7, 2014 at 4:27 pm said:

    thank you that was fun. and Kimmo is right. What has always gotten me is how with any film and TV shows the powers are never quit the same. Some get better with age and others just fall apart. How do you not infringe on copyright you have to change it up some.

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