Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Matt Reeves, Rick Jaffa, Armanda Silver, Mark Bomback, Pierre Boulle, Andy Serkis, Jason Clarke, Gary Oldman, Keri Russell, Toby Kebbell, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Kirk Acevedo, Nick Thurston, Terry Notary, Karin Konoval, Judy Greer, Jon Eyez, Enrique Murciano, Larramie Doc Shaw, Lee Ross, Keir O'Donnell, Kevin Rankin, Jocko Sims, Al Vicente, Matthew James, Richard King, Scott Lang, Deneen Tyler, Mustafa Harris, Lombardo Boyar, Mike Seal, J.D. Evermore, Chase Boltin, Michael Papajohn, Thomas Rosales, Carol Sutton, Christopher Berry, Monica Rene'e Anderson, John Armijo, Jon Arthur, Blake Nelson Boyd, Joe Bravo, Edward J. Clare, Duane Cothren, Kurt Cotton, Steve D'Assis, Michelle DeVito, Santana Draper, Neil Durr, Jazzy Ellis, Joseph Fischer, Tina Gilton, Geraldine Glenn, Monica R. Harris, Alaine Huntington, Lucky Johnson, Mark Joyce, Sergio Kato, Angela Kerecz, Bobby Kerecz, Anthony A Kung, Richie Ladner, Cynthia LeBlanc, Nicholas Leonard, John R Mangus, Ken Massey, Kevonte Mcdonald, Mahal Montoya, Rebekah Jean Morgan, Douglas Murray, John Parsons, Timothy Pickles, Diezel Ramos, Ryan Daniel Rodriguez, Carl Schreiber, Connie Jo Sechrist, Kerry Sims, Valerie STrecker, Jimmy Sweetwater, Joseph Uzzell, M Jearl Vinot, Jason Watson, Steven Wiig, Caleb Wiley, Timothy Wyant, Ahmed Zakzouk, Mark Bomback, Peter Chernin, Dylan Clark, Thomas M Hammel, Rick Jaffa, Amanda Silver, Michael Giacchino, Michael Seresin, William Hoy, Stan Salfas, Debra Zane, James Chinlund, Marisa Frantz, Aaron Haye, Kelvin Humenny, William O Hunter, Naaman Marshall, Amanda Moss Serino, Melissa Bruning, Aaron Downing, Heidi Erl, Kelly Sullivan, Jennifer Teves, Wendy Williams, Michael Bishop, Mark Brown, Meghan Burchfield, Gary Capo, Adrian Diepold, Mathew Dunne, Todd Havern, Gary Hawes, Vanessa Hickey, Larry Katz, Brandon Lambdin, Kevin Lum, Gordon MacDonald, Renee Marsella, Kevin O'Neil, Bradley Parker, Gary Powell, Aaron J Stone, Hirotatsu Taniguchi, Julian Wall, DAvid Waters, Eric Bradley, Mark Gasbarro, Toddy Honeycutt, Mark LeVang, Frank Macchia, Aaron Meyer, Ehren Adams, Andre Aggi, Mike Aichholz, Joaquin Aragon, Brooke Arata, Michael Amona, Philip Austin, Maggie Baron, Roy Barrios, Stephen Benabo, Kristen Blaum, Jody Blose, Melanie A Bonhomme, Patrick Brazile, Susan Boyajian, Gregg Brilliant, Trisha Burton, Helen Cardona, Simon Carrigan, Tom Carson, Jason Chan, Trang Dang, Justin Edward Davis, Julianne Gabert, Doug Gagnon, Kryzz Gautier, Baily Hopkins, Laina Kaffenberger, Catou Kearney, Christ KIbler, Kerry Hansen, Mimi McGreal, Chrissy Metge, Cody Peterson, Leah Peterson, Liz Probst, Ben Pronsky, Brie Puneky, James Rawlings, Ryan Redmond, Angel Ribolla, Emily LaRene Roberts, Ian Schimpf, Cristie Schoen, Julie Ann Snow, Andres Sepulveda, Cindy Strecker, Adam Stephenson, Julie Ann Snow, Conner Verreaux, Jason Waggenspack, Stephen Daniel WAyne, Jonathan Wester, Konrad Damian Wieclawski, Olga Wilhelmine, SEan Wolput, Tashia Wong, Laurie Wright, Craig Young Kenneth Yu, Helene Cardona, Gregory Earls

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Matt Reeves, Rick Jaffa, Armanda Silver, Mark Bomback, Pierre Boulle, Andy Serkis, Jason Clarke, Gary Oldman, Keri Russell, Toby Kebbell, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Kirk Acevedo, Nick Thurston, Terry Notary, Karin Konoval, Judy Greer, Jon Eyez, Enrique Murciano, Larramie Doc Shaw, Lee Ross, Keir O'Donnell, Kevin Rankin, Jocko Sims, Al Vicente, Matthew James, Richard King, Scott Lang, Deneen Tyler, Mustafa Harris, Lombardo Boyar, Mike Seal, J.D. Evermore, Chase Boltin, Michael Papajohn, Thomas Rosales, Carol Sutton, Christopher Berry, Monica Rene'e Anderson, John Armijo, Jon Arthur, Blake Nelson Boyd, Joe Bravo, Edward J. Clare, Duane Cothren, Kurt Cotton, Steve D'Assis, Michelle DeVito, Santana Draper, Neil Durr, Jazzy Ellis, Joseph Fischer, Tina Gilton, Geraldine Glenn, Monica R. Harris, Alaine Huntington, Lucky Johnson, Mark Joyce, Sergio Kato, Angela Kerecz, Bobby Kerecz, Anthony A Kung, Richie Ladner, Cynthia LeBlanc, Nicholas Leonard, John R Mangus, Ken Massey, Kevonte Mcdonald, Mahal Montoya, Rebekah Jean Morgan, Douglas Murray, John Parsons, Timothy Pickles, Diezel Ramos, Ryan Daniel Rodriguez, Carl Schreiber, Connie Jo Sechrist, Kerry Sims, Valerie STrecker, Jimmy Sweetwater, Joseph Uzzell, M Jearl Vinot, Jason Watson, Steven Wiig, Caleb Wiley, Timothy Wyant, Ahmed Zakzouk, Mark Bomback, Peter Chernin, Dylan Clark, Thomas M Hammel, Rick Jaffa, Amanda Silver, Michael Giacchino, Michael Seresin, William Hoy, Stan Salfas, Debra Zane, James Chinlund, Marisa Frantz, Aaron Haye, Kelvin Humenny, William O Hunter, Naaman Marshall, Amanda Moss Serino, Melissa Bruning, Aaron Downing, Heidi Erl, Kelly Sullivan, Jennifer Teves, Wendy Williams, Michael Bishop, Mark Brown, Meghan Burchfield, Gary Capo, Adrian Diepold, Mathew Dunne, Todd Havern, Gary Hawes, Vanessa Hickey, Larry Katz, Brandon Lambdin, Kevin Lum, Gordon MacDonald, Renee Marsella, Kevin O'Neil, Bradley Parker, Gary Powell, Aaron J Stone, Hirotatsu Taniguchi, Julian Wall, DAvid Waters, Eric Bradley, Mark Gasbarro, Toddy Honeycutt, Mark LeVang, Frank Macchia, Aaron Meyer, Ehren Adams, Andre Aggi, Mike Aichholz, Joaquin Aragon, Brooke Arata, Michael Amona, Philip Austin, Maggie Baron, Roy Barrios, Stephen Benabo, Kristen Blaum, Jody Blose, Melanie A Bonhomme, Patrick Brazile, Susan Boyajian, Gregg Brilliant, Trisha Burton, Helen Cardona, Simon Carrigan, Tom Carson, Jason Chan, Trang Dang, Justin Edward Davis, Julianne Gabert, Doug Gagnon, Kryzz Gautier, Baily Hopkins, Laina Kaffenberger, Catou Kearney, Christ KIbler, Kerry Hansen, Mimi McGreal, Chrissy Metge, Cody Peterson, Leah Peterson, Liz Probst, Ben Pronsky, Brie Puneky, James Rawlings, Ryan Redmond, Angel Ribolla, Emily LaRene Roberts, Ian Schimpf, Cristie Schoen, Julie Ann Snow, Andres Sepulveda, Cindy Strecker, Adam Stephenson, Julie Ann Snow, Conner Verreaux, Jason Waggenspack, Stephen Daniel WAyne, Jonathan Wester, Konrad Damian Wieclawski, Olga Wilhelmine, SEan Wolput, Tashia Wong, Laurie Wright, Craig Young Kenneth Yu, Helene Cardona, Gregory EarlsDawn of the Planet of the Apes

With Wit, Reviewed by Kimmo Mustonenen

Times are things that make men weep.

Most men.

Not Finns.

We are not the weeping types for being told “no” to World Cupping.

They let the Swedes (bastards) World Cup.

More than once (but not this time – take that, Swedes).

But we need no World Cupping.

We Finns can Cup for ourselves.

Sunday I will not be World Cupping.

I’ll be drinking kossu, smoking the sweet, sweet smoke and going back to see the greatest movie ever made – “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.”

Yes.

It is.

See for yourself.

Plot? Do monkeys poop in their hands?

You bet!

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Matt Reeves, Rick Jaffa, Armanda Silver, Mark Bomback, Pierre Boulle, Andy Serkis, Jason Clarke, Gary Oldman, Keri Russell, Toby Kebbell, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Kirk Acevedo, Nick Thurston, Terry Notary, Karin Konoval, Judy Greer, Jon Eyez, Enrique Murciano, Larramie Doc Shaw, Lee Ross, Keir O'Donnell, Kevin Rankin, Jocko Sims, Al Vicente, Matthew James, Richard King, Scott Lang, Deneen Tyler, Mustafa Harris, Lombardo Boyar, Mike Seal, J.D. Evermore, Chase Boltin, Michael Papajohn, Thomas Rosales, Carol Sutton, Christopher Berry, Monica Rene'e Anderson, John Armijo, Jon Arthur, Blake Nelson Boyd, Joe Bravo, Edward J. Clare, Duane Cothren, Kurt Cotton, Steve D'Assis, Michelle DeVito, Santana Draper, Neil Durr, Jazzy Ellis, Joseph Fischer, Tina Gilton, Geraldine Glenn, Monica R. Harris, Alaine Huntington, Lucky Johnson, Mark Joyce, Sergio Kato, Angela Kerecz, Bobby Kerecz, Anthony A Kung, Richie Ladner, Cynthia LeBlanc, Nicholas Leonard, John R Mangus, Ken Massey, Kevonte Mcdonald, Mahal Montoya, Rebekah Jean Morgan, Douglas Murray, John Parsons, Timothy Pickles, Diezel Ramos, Ryan Daniel Rodriguez, Carl Schreiber, Connie Jo Sechrist, Kerry Sims, Valerie STrecker, Jimmy Sweetwater, Joseph Uzzell, M Jearl Vinot, Jason Watson, Steven Wiig, Caleb Wiley, Timothy Wyant, Ahmed Zakzouk, Mark Bomback, Peter Chernin, Dylan Clark, Thomas M Hammel, Rick Jaffa, Amanda Silver, Michael Giacchino, Michael Seresin, William Hoy, Stan Salfas, Debra Zane, James Chinlund, Marisa Frantz, Aaron Haye, Kelvin Humenny, William O Hunter, Naaman Marshall, Amanda Moss Serino, Melissa Bruning, Aaron Downing, Heidi Erl, Kelly Sullivan, Jennifer Teves, Wendy Williams, Michael Bishop, Mark Brown, Meghan Burchfield, Gary Capo, Adrian Diepold, Mathew Dunne, Todd Havern, Gary Hawes, Vanessa Hickey, Larry Katz, Brandon Lambdin, Kevin Lum, Gordon MacDonald, Renee Marsella, Kevin O'Neil, Bradley Parker, Gary Powell, Aaron J Stone, Hirotatsu Taniguchi, Julian Wall, DAvid Waters, Eric Bradley, Mark Gasbarro, Toddy Honeycutt, Mark LeVang, Frank Macchia, Aaron Meyer, Ehren Adams, Andre Aggi, Mike Aichholz, Joaquin Aragon, Brooke Arata, Michael Amona, Philip Austin, Maggie Baron, Roy Barrios, Stephen Benabo, Kristen Blaum, Jody Blose, Melanie A Bonhomme, Patrick Brazile, Susan Boyajian, Gregg Brilliant, Trisha Burton, Helen Cardona, Simon Carrigan, Tom Carson, Jason Chan, Trang Dang, Justin Edward Davis, Julianne Gabert, Doug Gagnon, Kryzz Gautier, Baily Hopkins, Laina Kaffenberger, Catou Kearney, Christ KIbler, Kerry Hansen, Mimi McGreal, Chrissy Metge, Cody Peterson, Leah Peterson, Liz Probst, Ben Pronsky, Brie Puneky, James Rawlings, Ryan Redmond, Angel Ribolla, Emily LaRene Roberts, Ian Schimpf, Cristie Schoen, Julie Ann Snow, Andres Sepulveda, Cindy Strecker, Adam Stephenson, Julie Ann Snow, Conner Verreaux, Jason Waggenspack, Stephen Daniel WAyne, Jonathan Wester, Konrad Damian Wieclawski, Olga Wilhelmine, SEan Wolput, Tashia Wong, Laurie Wright, Craig Young Kenneth Yu, Helene Cardona, Gregory EarlsTen years have come and gone and come. Monkey flu is the worse than a plague, yet plague-like in the killing.

499 of every 500 people – dead.

Real estate is now affordable in San Francisco (plague, please come to Los Angeles, too – I cannot for now afford to live in the Malibu – my dream of dreams – it is filled with fully figured actresses).

San Fran is in the shitter – with no electricity.

Humans Malcolm (Jason Clarke) and his bulge making woman Ellie (Kerri Russell – Kerri, if you ask I’ll send you my digits for that we may date so that I can have a bulge, too, if you know what I mean – I say this to you while winking seductively) are tasked by crazy eyeballed Dreyfus (Gary Oldman) to rebuild super electric hydro damn (Super Electric Hydro Damn will be my 10cc cover band) to bring back property value to the Bay.

In the way are monkeys of many flavors. Chimp monkeys. Orangutan monkeys. Bonobo monkeys.

But not THE Monkees. That would have been the shit, but distracting, so only full body hair monkeys make the cut.

They are ape shit crazy (get it?) but can talk and ride on the horses.

They hunt elk, but are monkeys, so they fight a bear. The bear gets bitch-slapped to the dirt.

“Fuck you, bear” say the apes.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Matt Reeves, Rick Jaffa, Armanda Silver, Mark Bomback, Pierre Boulle, Andy Serkis, Jason Clarke, Gary Oldman, Keri Russell, Toby Kebbell, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Kirk Acevedo, Nick Thurston, Terry Notary, Karin Konoval, Judy Greer, Jon Eyez, Enrique Murciano, Larramie Doc Shaw, Lee Ross, Keir O'Donnell, Kevin Rankin, Jocko Sims, Al Vicente, Matthew James, Richard King, Scott Lang, Deneen Tyler, Mustafa Harris, Lombardo Boyar, Mike Seal, J.D. Evermore, Chase Boltin, Michael Papajohn, Thomas Rosales, Carol Sutton, Christopher Berry, Monica Rene'e Anderson, John Armijo, Jon Arthur, Blake Nelson Boyd, Joe Bravo, Edward J. Clare, Duane Cothren, Kurt Cotton, Steve D'Assis, Michelle DeVito, Santana Draper, Neil Durr, Jazzy Ellis, Joseph Fischer, Tina Gilton, Geraldine Glenn, Monica R. Harris, Alaine Huntington, Lucky Johnson, Mark Joyce, Sergio Kato, Angela Kerecz, Bobby Kerecz, Anthony A Kung, Richie Ladner, Cynthia LeBlanc, Nicholas Leonard, John R Mangus, Ken Massey, Kevonte Mcdonald, Mahal Montoya, Rebekah Jean Morgan, Douglas Murray, John Parsons, Timothy Pickles, Diezel Ramos, Ryan Daniel Rodriguez, Carl Schreiber, Connie Jo Sechrist, Kerry Sims, Valerie STrecker, Jimmy Sweetwater, Joseph Uzzell, M Jearl Vinot, Jason Watson, Steven Wiig, Caleb Wiley, Timothy Wyant, Ahmed Zakzouk, Mark Bomback, Peter Chernin, Dylan Clark, Thomas M Hammel, Rick Jaffa, Amanda Silver, Michael Giacchino, Michael Seresin, William Hoy, Stan Salfas, Debra Zane, James Chinlund, Marisa Frantz, Aaron Haye, Kelvin Humenny, William O Hunter, Naaman Marshall, Amanda Moss Serino, Melissa Bruning, Aaron Downing, Heidi Erl, Kelly Sullivan, Jennifer Teves, Wendy Williams, Michael Bishop, Mark Brown, Meghan Burchfield, Gary Capo, Adrian Diepold, Mathew Dunne, Todd Havern, Gary Hawes, Vanessa Hickey, Larry Katz, Brandon Lambdin, Kevin Lum, Gordon MacDonald, Renee Marsella, Kevin O'Neil, Bradley Parker, Gary Powell, Aaron J Stone, Hirotatsu Taniguchi, Julian Wall, DAvid Waters, Eric Bradley, Mark Gasbarro, Toddy Honeycutt, Mark LeVang, Frank Macchia, Aaron Meyer, Ehren Adams, Andre Aggi, Mike Aichholz, Joaquin Aragon, Brooke Arata, Michael Amona, Philip Austin, Maggie Baron, Roy Barrios, Stephen Benabo, Kristen Blaum, Jody Blose, Melanie A Bonhomme, Patrick Brazile, Susan Boyajian, Gregg Brilliant, Trisha Burton, Helen Cardona, Simon Carrigan, Tom Carson, Jason Chan, Trang Dang, Justin Edward Davis, Julianne Gabert, Doug Gagnon, Kryzz Gautier, Baily Hopkins, Laina Kaffenberger, Catou Kearney, Christ KIbler, Kerry Hansen, Mimi McGreal, Chrissy Metge, Cody Peterson, Leah Peterson, Liz Probst, Ben Pronsky, Brie Puneky, James Rawlings, Ryan Redmond, Angel Ribolla, Emily LaRene Roberts, Ian Schimpf, Cristie Schoen, Julie Ann Snow, Andres Sepulveda, Cindy Strecker, Adam Stephenson, Julie Ann Snow, Conner Verreaux, Jason Waggenspack, Stephen Daniel WAyne, Jonathan Wester, Konrad Damian Wieclawski, Olga Wilhelmine, SEan Wolput, Tashia Wong, Laurie Wright, Craig Young Kenneth Yu, Helene Cardona, Gregory EarlsThe cool monkey leader, Caesar (Andy Serkis – really in green body suit covered with ping pong balls running around a green screen world – which would be so the awesome when high) says, “OK humans, just mess with the dam, or we will poop in our hands and throw it at you.”

Caesar’s best monkey pal Koba (Toby Kebbell – also in green body suit, etc., etc.) says, “Eff that C, we’re gonna use poop guns to knock you human clowns off the planet, yo!”

The war is on.

How good is Ape vs. Human war?

I forgot to drink my kossu for an hour.

An hour!

Same with my weed.

How the hell is this a possible? But it was.

CGI is better than reality here (I said this – CGI is now not always the suck). Apes were more awesomer than people.

This shit is real, friend.

Believe it now. It will mess with the wet organ that is your brain.

So, two thumbs wishing that I was a poop throwing ape on the big screen.

See this movie today.

Then see it yesterday (but you cannot) and again tomorrow (this is possible).

It will be worth every penny (or $16 if in 3D).

“Dawn of the Planet of the Apes” – best picture of 2014. Book it!

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. “Orphan Black” has blown my mind stem. Clone Tatiana Maslany and bring me four of her. Then I would not need Malibu. My Chatsworth apartment would be heaven, except in Chatsworth. Oh, yes – this I dream. You should dream it, too. Kimmo has spoken (with typing).

 

HEAR/WATCH KIMMO’S REVIEW HERE:

 

10 comments

  1. Ringo · July 11, 2014

    Well, that’s it. I’m in. Anything that can keep me from smoking weed for an hour must be pretty amazing.

  2. Eric V · July 11, 2014

    I can’t wait to see this movie. Peter Tork is amazing. I hope Ceasar kills Auntie Grazelda. She’s a human this world can do without.

    P.S. Kimmo, your English is improving. I can almost understand everything you’re saying. On with the Kassu and your sweet, sweet smoke. I, on the other hand, prefer the eats. And whiskey. Lots of it. And fuck the world cup.

  3. Godzirra · July 11, 2014

    Best review ever. I can’t be kept away from this movie.

  4. Roman Shumanskiy · July 11

    Good movie to watch

  5. My brother suggested I might like this blog. He was totally right. This post truly made my day. You can not imagine simply how much time I had spent for this info! Thanks!

  6. Cefrey · July 11

    Thank you for the amazing post

  7. Izaak Newton · July 11

    I love this post

  8. Antonio · July 11

    This is a topic of my interest. I love reading through your blog,I’ve read through a number of the articles in your website , and I love the way you blog.

  9. The information in this article is really unique and useful for me.

  10. salesforce login · 15 Days Ago

    After resetting utilize your brand-new password to get logged in that require your focus and also click on Login after that provide highest CRM services to their clients or enterprise.