Manka Bros., Khan Manka., Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Behind The Proscenium, Cinderella, Kenneth Branagh, Chris Weitz, Cate Blanchett, Lily James, Richard Madden, Helena Bonham Carter, Nonso Anozie, Stellan Skarsgard, Sophie McShera, Holliday Grainger, Derek Jacobi, Ben Chaplin, Hayley Atwell, Rob Brydon, Jana Perez, Alex Macqueen, Tom Edden, Gareth Mason, Paul Hunter, Eloise Webb, Joshua McGuire, Matthew Steer, Mimi Ndiweni, Laura Elsworthy, Ella Smith, Ann Davies, Gerard Horan, Katie West, Daniel Tuite, Anjana Vasan, Stuart Neal, Adetomiwa Edun, Richard McCabe, Joseph Kloska, Andy Apollo, Craig Mather, Jonny Owen-Last, Nari Blair-Mangat, Michael Jenn, Josh O'Connor, Bhanu Alley, Elina Alminas, Scherrikar Bell, Francesca Bennett, James Butcher, Laurie Calvert, Arielle Campbell, Janet Dawe, Andrew Fitch, Robert J Fraser, Edward Lewis French, Melissa Galloway, Monique Geraghty, Alexander Gillison, Riley Halden, John WG Harley, Ant Henson, Phoenix James, Rajesh Kalhan, Sayed Kassem, Joe Kennard, Victoria Ann Kenway, Alex Marek, Barrie Martin, Henry McCook, Joao Costa Menezes, Bronwyn Pearson, Gino Picciano, Laurent Plancel, Jd Roth-round, Julian Seager, Drew Sheridan-Wheeler, Peter Stacey, Zizi Strallen, Tom Swacha, Georgie-May Tearle, Dolapo Umar, Leila Wong, Charlotte Worwood, Elliott Wright, David Barron, Simon Kinberg, Tim Lewis, Allison Shearmur, Barry H Waldman, Patrick Doyle, Haris Zambarloukos, Martin Walsh, Lucy Bevan, Dante Ferretti, Ravi Bansal, Gary Freeman, Paul Laugier, Casey Banwell, Sandy Powell, Kat Ali, Sophie Ashworth, Sylvia Atkins, Hayley Barkway, Helena Card, Orla Carrol, Mary Cooke, Paul Bennett, Mark Cockren, William Dodds, Claire Frayn, Mark Gillespie, Ryan Newberry, Richard Oxford, Richard Whelan, Alexander Witt, Laura Wootton, Vanessa Baker, Liz Bichard, Emily Brockmann, Ruth Key, Sheara Abrahams, Marlek Al-Habib, Karen Beale, Kitty Bennett, Naomi Bonner, Lucy Brookes, Valeria Cantelli, Melanie Carter, Kay Manasseh, Clo Neary, Kim Pickering, Tessa Phillips, Liz Harkin, Trevor Brown, Herbert Butler, Michael Davis, Nick Davis, Matthew Tucker, Christopher Benstead, Peter Clarke, Rupert Cross, Fiona Cruickshank, Jake Jackson, Rael Jones, Laura Nakhla, MIchael Part, Maggie Rodford, Aaron Shang, James Shearman, Claire Elizabeth Alberie, Jason Alvidrez, Rob Ashford, Ruby Avards, Ross Barnwell, Lewis Barron, Holly Bates, Barbar Berkery, Mary Boulding, Sarah Bowden, Fred Bonham Carter, Steven Clarke, James Cleave, James Fingers Buxton, Rebecca Collis, Tom Crooke, Roxanne Cuenca, Patrick Cullen, Ella Daines-Smith, Richard Daldry, Vanessa Davies, Matt Day, Same Dent, Nilan Dharmadasa, Wayne Docksey, Cathy Doubleday, Eleanor Downey, Shaun Emery, DR Farquharson, Lucia Foster Found, Adam Foster, Catherine Francis, Stephen Gallacher, Michael Gentry, Donna Glasser-Hancock, Gail Gostick, Richard Grand, Faye Green, Emma Gunnery, Anna Hall, Sam Hare, Harry Hewitt, milo Hewitt, Turner Hodsoll, Paul Hornsby, Jamie Kemp, Amanda Koh, Charles Larcombe, Rob Levy, Philip Lobban, Cazzie Loveday, Nicoletta Mani, Jenny Maybour, Matthew Redding, David Taylor, Will Samuelson, Hamish Secrett, Rebecca Wolf, Jo Winter, Richard Wild, Ashley Wild, Joan Washington, Jimmy Yuill, Lenart Cernilogar, Brandon Jones, Aaron Broghamer, Brent Primus

Cinderella [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka., Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Behind The Proscenium, Cinderella, Kenneth Branagh, Chris Weitz, Cate Blanchett, Lily James, Richard Madden, Helena Bonham Carter, Nonso Anozie, Stellan Skarsgard, Sophie McShera, Holliday Grainger, Derek Jacobi, Ben Chaplin, Hayley Atwell, Rob Brydon, Jana Perez, Alex Macqueen, Tom Edden, Gareth Mason, Paul Hunter, Eloise Webb, Joshua McGuire, Matthew Steer, Mimi Ndiweni, Laura Elsworthy, Ella Smith, Ann Davies, Gerard Horan, Katie West, Daniel Tuite, Anjana Vasan, Stuart Neal, Adetomiwa Edun, Richard McCabe, Joseph Kloska, Andy Apollo, Craig Mather, Jonny Owen-Last, Nari Blair-Mangat, Michael Jenn, Josh O'Connor, Bhanu Alley, Elina Alminas, Scherrikar Bell, Francesca Bennett, James Butcher, Laurie Calvert, Arielle Campbell, Janet Dawe, Andrew Fitch, Robert J Fraser, Edward Lewis French, Melissa Galloway, Monique Geraghty, Alexander Gillison, Riley Halden, John WG Harley, Ant Henson, Phoenix James, Rajesh Kalhan, Sayed Kassem, Joe Kennard, Victoria Ann Kenway, Alex Marek, Barrie Martin, Henry McCook, Joao Costa Menezes, Bronwyn Pearson, Gino Picciano, Laurent Plancel, Jd Roth-round, Julian Seager, Drew Sheridan-Wheeler, Peter Stacey, Zizi Strallen, Tom Swacha, Georgie-May Tearle, Dolapo Umar, Leila Wong, Charlotte Worwood, Elliott Wright, David Barron, Simon Kinberg, Tim Lewis, Allison Shearmur, Barry H Waldman, Patrick Doyle, Haris Zambarloukos, Martin Walsh, Lucy Bevan, Dante Ferretti, Ravi Bansal, Gary Freeman, Paul Laugier, Casey Banwell, Sandy Powell, Kat Ali, Sophie Ashworth, Sylvia Atkins, Hayley Barkway, Helena Card, Orla Carrol, Mary Cooke, Paul Bennett, Mark Cockren, William Dodds, Claire Frayn, Mark Gillespie, Ryan Newberry, Richard Oxford, Richard Whelan, Alexander Witt, Laura Wootton, Vanessa Baker, Liz Bichard, Emily Brockmann, Ruth Key, Sheara Abrahams, Marlek Al-Habib, Karen Beale, Kitty Bennett, Naomi Bonner, Lucy Brookes, Valeria Cantelli, Melanie Carter, Kay Manasseh, Clo Neary, Kim Pickering, Tessa Phillips, Liz Harkin, Trevor Brown, Herbert Butler, Michael Davis, Nick Davis, Matthew Tucker, Christopher Benstead, Peter Clarke, Rupert Cross, Fiona Cruickshank, Jake Jackson, Rael Jones, Laura Nakhla, MIchael Part, Maggie Rodford, Aaron Shang, James Shearman, Claire Elizabeth Alberie, Jason Alvidrez, Rob Ashford, Ruby Avards, Ross Barnwell, Lewis Barron, Holly Bates, Barbar Berkery, Mary Boulding, Sarah Bowden, Fred Bonham Carter, Steven Clarke, James Cleave, James Fingers Buxton, Rebecca Collis, Tom Crooke, Roxanne Cuenca, Patrick Cullen, Ella Daines-Smith, Richard Daldry, Vanessa Davies, Matt Day, Same Dent, Nilan Dharmadasa, Wayne Docksey, Cathy Doubleday, Eleanor Downey, Shaun Emery, DR Farquharson, Lucia Foster Found, Adam Foster, Catherine Francis, Stephen Gallacher, Michael Gentry, Donna Glasser-Hancock, Gail Gostick, Richard Grand, Faye Green, Emma Gunnery, Anna Hall, Sam Hare, Harry Hewitt, milo Hewitt, Turner Hodsoll, Paul Hornsby, Jamie Kemp, Amanda Koh, Charles Larcombe, Rob Levy, Philip Lobban, Cazzie Loveday, Nicoletta Mani, Jenny Maybour, Matthew Redding, David Taylor, Will Samuelson, Hamish Secrett, Rebecca Wolf, Jo Winter, Richard Wild, Ashley Wild, Joan Washington, Jimmy Yuill, Lenart Cernilogar, Brandon Jones, Aaron Broghamer, Brent PrimusCinderella

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

I have for a while, been away.

Not for purpose, but because damn dumb bad.

I had measles.

Not any measles.

Disneyland Measles.

Some disease child left his funk on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride and then I was with the infection.  Or maybe it was stupid Tea Cups (they are good for nothing).

Damn. I was with icky red spots covered – as if a jar of jam had exploded and vaporized over my body – but not delicious.

All that was delicious was the Kossu I drank by the liter, putting out my jam inspired skin fire.

For weeks I got to think, “why were my parents in my baby pooping times dirty hippies living in North Finland commune?”

As is known to all not dirty hippies, they don’t put dead or weak viruses in their children. They are too high to worry about science. Or bathing. Or shaving arm pits.

But mainly science.

When my parents became clean and with jobs again and now being good society people (but still high) they forgot that I never had the only needle that I wanted for germ killing.

So, at the Happiest Place on Earth (no way really, best happy place is Six Flags “Now We Puke With Our New Hispanic Friends” Magic Mountain – just not on “Gang Night” – too many casualties) I get crappy Disneyland Measles.

And neither Kossu or the sweet, sweet smoke could made it OK.

But something just did make things OK.

Or someone.

And that someone was hot piece of 99% woman – she gave me the tingles. In my man place. And in my man mind.

She is Cinderella (Lily James).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka., Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Behind The Proscenium, Cinderella, Kenneth Branagh, Chris Weitz, Cate Blanchett, Lily James, Richard Madden, Helena Bonham Carter, Nonso Anozie, Stellan Skarsgard, Sophie McShera, Holliday Grainger, Derek Jacobi, Ben Chaplin, Hayley Atwell, Rob Brydon, Jana Perez, Alex Macqueen, Tom Edden, Gareth Mason, Paul Hunter, Eloise Webb, Joshua McGuire, Matthew Steer, Mimi Ndiweni, Laura Elsworthy, Ella Smith, Ann Davies, Gerard Horan, Katie West, Daniel Tuite, Anjana Vasan, Stuart Neal, Adetomiwa Edun, Richard McCabe, Joseph Kloska, Andy Apollo, Craig Mather, Jonny Owen-Last, Nari Blair-Mangat, Michael Jenn, Josh O'Connor, Bhanu Alley, Elina Alminas, Scherrikar Bell, Francesca Bennett, James Butcher, Laurie Calvert, Arielle Campbell, Janet Dawe, Andrew Fitch, Robert J Fraser, Edward Lewis French, Melissa Galloway, Monique Geraghty, Alexander Gillison, Riley Halden, John WG Harley, Ant Henson, Phoenix James, Rajesh Kalhan, Sayed Kassem, Joe Kennard, Victoria Ann Kenway, Alex Marek, Barrie Martin, Henry McCook, Joao Costa Menezes, Bronwyn Pearson, Gino Picciano, Laurent Plancel, Jd Roth-round, Julian Seager, Drew Sheridan-Wheeler, Peter Stacey, Zizi Strallen, Tom Swacha, Georgie-May Tearle, Dolapo Umar, Leila Wong, Charlotte Worwood, Elliott Wright, David Barron, Simon Kinberg, Tim Lewis, Allison Shearmur, Barry H Waldman, Patrick Doyle, Haris Zambarloukos, Martin Walsh, Lucy Bevan, Dante Ferretti, Ravi Bansal, Gary Freeman, Paul Laugier, Casey Banwell, Sandy Powell, Kat Ali, Sophie Ashworth, Sylvia Atkins, Hayley Barkway, Helena Card, Orla Carrol, Mary Cooke, Paul Bennett, Mark Cockren, William Dodds, Claire Frayn, Mark Gillespie, Ryan Newberry, Richard Oxford, Richard Whelan, Alexander Witt, Laura Wootton, Vanessa Baker, Liz Bichard, Emily Brockmann, Ruth Key, Sheara Abrahams, Marlek Al-Habib, Karen Beale, Kitty Bennett, Naomi Bonner, Lucy Brookes, Valeria Cantelli, Melanie Carter, Kay Manasseh, Clo Neary, Kim Pickering, Tessa Phillips, Liz Harkin, Trevor Brown, Herbert Butler, Michael Davis, Nick Davis, Matthew Tucker, Christopher Benstead, Peter Clarke, Rupert Cross, Fiona Cruickshank, Jake Jackson, Rael Jones, Laura Nakhla, MIchael Part, Maggie Rodford, Aaron Shang, James Shearman, Claire Elizabeth Alberie, Jason Alvidrez, Rob Ashford, Ruby Avards, Ross Barnwell, Lewis Barron, Holly Bates, Barbar Berkery, Mary Boulding, Sarah Bowden, Fred Bonham Carter, Steven Clarke, James Cleave, James Fingers Buxton, Rebecca Collis, Tom Crooke, Roxanne Cuenca, Patrick Cullen, Ella Daines-Smith, Richard Daldry, Vanessa Davies, Matt Day, Same Dent, Nilan Dharmadasa, Wayne Docksey, Cathy Doubleday, Eleanor Downey, Shaun Emery, DR Farquharson, Lucia Foster Found, Adam Foster, Catherine Francis, Stephen Gallacher, Michael Gentry, Donna Glasser-Hancock, Gail Gostick, Richard Grand, Faye Green, Emma Gunnery, Anna Hall, Sam Hare, Harry Hewitt, milo Hewitt, Turner Hodsoll, Paul Hornsby, Jamie Kemp, Amanda Koh, Charles Larcombe, Rob Levy, Philip Lobban, Cazzie Loveday, Nicoletta Mani, Jenny Maybour, Matthew Redding, David Taylor, Will Samuelson, Hamish Secrett, Rebecca Wolf, Jo Winter, Richard Wild, Ashley Wild, Joan Washington, Jimmy Yuill, Lenart Cernilogar, Brandon Jones, Aaron Broghamer, Brent Primus

Plot? Hells yeah, and more.

Lust and politics.

CGI mice.

Did I mention Lily James?

Poor Cinderella. She lives in Make Believe with Cool Dad (British Guy) and Hot Mom (British Chick).

In Make Believe, the 99% live in McMansions and have servants. But they want to be the 2%, like Prince Kit (Rob Stark).

Prince Kit’s Dad (Derek Jacobi) wants Kit to marry into the 1%.

When Cool Dad and Hot Mom die, Cinderella is forced to live with Stepmother (MILF Cate Blanchett) and Step Sisters (bitch face women from “Fashion Police”, I think).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka., Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Behind The Proscenium, Cinderella, Kenneth Branagh, Chris Weitz, Cate Blanchett, Lily James, Richard Madden, Helena Bonham Carter, Nonso Anozie, Stellan Skarsgard, Sophie McShera, Holliday Grainger, Derek Jacobi, Ben Chaplin, Hayley Atwell, Rob Brydon, Jana Perez, Alex Macqueen, Tom Edden, Gareth Mason, Paul Hunter, Eloise Webb, Joshua McGuire, Matthew Steer, Mimi Ndiweni, Laura Elsworthy, Ella Smith, Ann Davies, Gerard Horan, Katie West, Daniel Tuite, Anjana Vasan, Stuart Neal, Adetomiwa Edun, Richard McCabe, Joseph Kloska, Andy Apollo, Craig Mather, Jonny Owen-Last, Nari Blair-Mangat, Michael Jenn, Josh O'Connor, Bhanu Alley, Elina Alminas, Scherrikar Bell, Francesca Bennett, James Butcher, Laurie Calvert, Arielle Campbell, Janet Dawe, Andrew Fitch, Robert J Fraser, Edward Lewis French, Melissa Galloway, Monique Geraghty, Alexander Gillison, Riley Halden, John WG Harley, Ant Henson, Phoenix James, Rajesh Kalhan, Sayed Kassem, Joe Kennard, Victoria Ann Kenway, Alex Marek, Barrie Martin, Henry McCook, Joao Costa Menezes, Bronwyn Pearson, Gino Picciano, Laurent Plancel, Jd Roth-round, Julian Seager, Drew Sheridan-Wheeler, Peter Stacey, Zizi Strallen, Tom Swacha, Georgie-May Tearle, Dolapo Umar, Leila Wong, Charlotte Worwood, Elliott Wright, David Barron, Simon Kinberg, Tim Lewis, Allison Shearmur, Barry H Waldman, Patrick Doyle, Haris Zambarloukos, Martin Walsh, Lucy Bevan, Dante Ferretti, Ravi Bansal, Gary Freeman, Paul Laugier, Casey Banwell, Sandy Powell, Kat Ali, Sophie Ashworth, Sylvia Atkins, Hayley Barkway, Helena Card, Orla Carrol, Mary Cooke, Paul Bennett, Mark Cockren, William Dodds, Claire Frayn, Mark Gillespie, Ryan Newberry, Richard Oxford, Richard Whelan, Alexander Witt, Laura Wootton, Vanessa Baker, Liz Bichard, Emily Brockmann, Ruth Key, Sheara Abrahams, Marlek Al-Habib, Karen Beale, Kitty Bennett, Naomi Bonner, Lucy Brookes, Valeria Cantelli, Melanie Carter, Kay Manasseh, Clo Neary, Kim Pickering, Tessa Phillips, Liz Harkin, Trevor Brown, Herbert Butler, Michael Davis, Nick Davis, Matthew Tucker, Christopher Benstead, Peter Clarke, Rupert Cross, Fiona Cruickshank, Jake Jackson, Rael Jones, Laura Nakhla, MIchael Part, Maggie Rodford, Aaron Shang, James Shearman, Claire Elizabeth Alberie, Jason Alvidrez, Rob Ashford, Ruby Avards, Ross Barnwell, Lewis Barron, Holly Bates, Barbar Berkery, Mary Boulding, Sarah Bowden, Fred Bonham Carter, Steven Clarke, James Cleave, James Fingers Buxton, Rebecca Collis, Tom Crooke, Roxanne Cuenca, Patrick Cullen, Ella Daines-Smith, Richard Daldry, Vanessa Davies, Matt Day, Same Dent, Nilan Dharmadasa, Wayne Docksey, Cathy Doubleday, Eleanor Downey, Shaun Emery, DR Farquharson, Lucia Foster Found, Adam Foster, Catherine Francis, Stephen Gallacher, Michael Gentry, Donna Glasser-Hancock, Gail Gostick, Richard Grand, Faye Green, Emma Gunnery, Anna Hall, Sam Hare, Harry Hewitt, milo Hewitt, Turner Hodsoll, Paul Hornsby, Jamie Kemp, Amanda Koh, Charles Larcombe, Rob Levy, Philip Lobban, Cazzie Loveday, Nicoletta Mani, Jenny Maybour, Matthew Redding, David Taylor, Will Samuelson, Hamish Secrett, Rebecca Wolf, Jo Winter, Richard Wild, Ashley Wild, Joan Washington, Jimmy Yuill, Lenart Cernilogar, Brandon Jones, Aaron Broghamer, Brent Primus

Her new family is the suck.

Cinderella is so effed up she is talking to mice, a stag, some lizards, a bird, and (gasp) even the help.

One day, while out on a horse (that she is not talking to), she runs into Mr. Stag. He’s all like “Rob Stark wants to gut me” and Cinderella is all like “No way, Jose. Light that rocket in your ass and jet on out.”

Mr. Stag is all like “Don’t have to say that twice girlfriend” and bounces.

Rob Stark shows up and is all like “Damn, girl, you are fine! And nice. You are mine.”

Manka Bros., Khan Manka., Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Behind The Proscenium, Cinderella, Kenneth Branagh, Chris Weitz, Cate Blanchett, Lily James, Richard Madden, Helena Bonham Carter, Nonso Anozie, Stellan Skarsgard, Sophie McShera, Holliday Grainger, Derek Jacobi, Ben Chaplin, Hayley Atwell, Rob Brydon, Jana Perez, Alex Macqueen, Tom Edden, Gareth Mason, Paul Hunter, Eloise Webb, Joshua McGuire, Matthew Steer, Mimi Ndiweni, Laura Elsworthy, Ella Smith, Ann Davies, Gerard Horan, Katie West, Daniel Tuite, Anjana Vasan, Stuart Neal, Adetomiwa Edun, Richard McCabe, Joseph Kloska, Andy Apollo, Craig Mather, Jonny Owen-Last, Nari Blair-Mangat, Michael Jenn, Josh O'Connor, Bhanu Alley, Elina Alminas, Scherrikar Bell, Francesca Bennett, James Butcher, Laurie Calvert, Arielle Campbell, Janet Dawe, Andrew Fitch, Robert J Fraser, Edward Lewis French, Melissa Galloway, Monique Geraghty, Alexander Gillison, Riley Halden, John WG Harley, Ant Henson, Phoenix James, Rajesh Kalhan, Sayed Kassem, Joe Kennard, Victoria Ann Kenway, Alex Marek, Barrie Martin, Henry McCook, Joao Costa Menezes, Bronwyn Pearson, Gino Picciano, Laurent Plancel, Jd Roth-round, Julian Seager, Drew Sheridan-Wheeler, Peter Stacey, Zizi Strallen, Tom Swacha, Georgie-May Tearle, Dolapo Umar, Leila Wong, Charlotte Worwood, Elliott Wright, David Barron, Simon Kinberg, Tim Lewis, Allison Shearmur, Barry H Waldman, Patrick Doyle, Haris Zambarloukos, Martin Walsh, Lucy Bevan, Dante Ferretti, Ravi Bansal, Gary Freeman, Paul Laugier, Casey Banwell, Sandy Powell, Kat Ali, Sophie Ashworth, Sylvia Atkins, Hayley Barkway, Helena Card, Orla Carrol, Mary Cooke, Paul Bennett, Mark Cockren, William Dodds, Claire Frayn, Mark Gillespie, Ryan Newberry, Richard Oxford, Richard Whelan, Alexander Witt, Laura Wootton, Vanessa Baker, Liz Bichard, Emily Brockmann, Ruth Key, Sheara Abrahams, Marlek Al-Habib, Karen Beale, Kitty Bennett, Naomi Bonner, Lucy Brookes, Valeria Cantelli, Melanie Carter, Kay Manasseh, Clo Neary, Kim Pickering, Tessa Phillips, Liz Harkin, Trevor Brown, Herbert Butler, Michael Davis, Nick Davis, Matthew Tucker, Christopher Benstead, Peter Clarke, Rupert Cross, Fiona Cruickshank, Jake Jackson, Rael Jones, Laura Nakhla, MIchael Part, Maggie Rodford, Aaron Shang, James Shearman, Claire Elizabeth Alberie, Jason Alvidrez, Rob Ashford, Ruby Avards, Ross Barnwell, Lewis Barron, Holly Bates, Barbar Berkery, Mary Boulding, Sarah Bowden, Fred Bonham Carter, Steven Clarke, James Cleave, James Fingers Buxton, Rebecca Collis, Tom Crooke, Roxanne Cuenca, Patrick Cullen, Ella Daines-Smith, Richard Daldry, Vanessa Davies, Matt Day, Same Dent, Nilan Dharmadasa, Wayne Docksey, Cathy Doubleday, Eleanor Downey, Shaun Emery, DR Farquharson, Lucia Foster Found, Adam Foster, Catherine Francis, Stephen Gallacher, Michael Gentry, Donna Glasser-Hancock, Gail Gostick, Richard Grand, Faye Green, Emma Gunnery, Anna Hall, Sam Hare, Harry Hewitt, milo Hewitt, Turner Hodsoll, Paul Hornsby, Jamie Kemp, Amanda Koh, Charles Larcombe, Rob Levy, Philip Lobban, Cazzie Loveday, Nicoletta Mani, Jenny Maybour, Matthew Redding, David Taylor, Will Samuelson, Hamish Secrett, Rebecca Wolf, Jo Winter, Richard Wild, Ashley Wild, Joan Washington, Jimmy Yuill, Lenart Cernilogar, Brandon Jones, Aaron Broghamer, Brent Primus

Cinderella is all like (in her mind thoughts) “Mmmm, mmm, mmm – we are gonna be getting’ busy… in our married future which may never come.”

What happens next? Smoke the smoke, drink the drink, request Uber, and GO TO THE MULTIPLEX.

PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE: Always smoke, always drink, and always Uber.  Kimmo approves of this message.

There are disappointments in Cinderella.

Rob Stark wears tight pants but they strap down his “Hamm-aconda” (Jon Hamm’s conjoined twin – groin beast – in “Mad Men” – it is legendary).

Now, it could be that Rob Stark isn’t packing… but we all know that is a damned liar lie. It would have been nice for the ladies.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka., Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Behind The Proscenium, Cinderella, Kenneth Branagh, Chris Weitz, Cate Blanchett, Lily James, Richard Madden, Helena Bonham Carter, Nonso Anozie, Stellan Skarsgard, Sophie McShera, Holliday Grainger, Derek Jacobi, Ben Chaplin, Hayley Atwell, Rob Brydon, Jana Perez, Alex Macqueen, Tom Edden, Gareth Mason, Paul Hunter, Eloise Webb, Joshua McGuire, Matthew Steer, Mimi Ndiweni, Laura Elsworthy, Ella Smith, Ann Davies, Gerard Horan, Katie West, Daniel Tuite, Anjana Vasan, Stuart Neal, Adetomiwa Edun, Richard McCabe, Joseph Kloska, Andy Apollo, Craig Mather, Jonny Owen-Last, Nari Blair-Mangat, Michael Jenn, Josh O'Connor, Bhanu Alley, Elina Alminas, Scherrikar Bell, Francesca Bennett, James Butcher, Laurie Calvert, Arielle Campbell, Janet Dawe, Andrew Fitch, Robert J Fraser, Edward Lewis French, Melissa Galloway, Monique Geraghty, Alexander Gillison, Riley Halden, John WG Harley, Ant Henson, Phoenix James, Rajesh Kalhan, Sayed Kassem, Joe Kennard, Victoria Ann Kenway, Alex Marek, Barrie Martin, Henry McCook, Joao Costa Menezes, Bronwyn Pearson, Gino Picciano, Laurent Plancel, Jd Roth-round, Julian Seager, Drew Sheridan-Wheeler, Peter Stacey, Zizi Strallen, Tom Swacha, Georgie-May Tearle, Dolapo Umar, Leila Wong, Charlotte Worwood, Elliott Wright, David Barron, Simon Kinberg, Tim Lewis, Allison Shearmur, Barry H Waldman, Patrick Doyle, Haris Zambarloukos, Martin Walsh, Lucy Bevan, Dante Ferretti, Ravi Bansal, Gary Freeman, Paul Laugier, Casey Banwell, Sandy Powell, Kat Ali, Sophie Ashworth, Sylvia Atkins, Hayley Barkway, Helena Card, Orla Carrol, Mary Cooke, Paul Bennett, Mark Cockren, William Dodds, Claire Frayn, Mark Gillespie, Ryan Newberry, Richard Oxford, Richard Whelan, Alexander Witt, Laura Wootton, Vanessa Baker, Liz Bichard, Emily Brockmann, Ruth Key, Sheara Abrahams, Marlek Al-Habib, Karen Beale, Kitty Bennett, Naomi Bonner, Lucy Brookes, Valeria Cantelli, Melanie Carter, Kay Manasseh, Clo Neary, Kim Pickering, Tessa Phillips, Liz Harkin, Trevor Brown, Herbert Butler, Michael Davis, Nick Davis, Matthew Tucker, Christopher Benstead, Peter Clarke, Rupert Cross, Fiona Cruickshank, Jake Jackson, Rael Jones, Laura Nakhla, MIchael Part, Maggie Rodford, Aaron Shang, James Shearman, Claire Elizabeth Alberie, Jason Alvidrez, Rob Ashford, Ruby Avards, Ross Barnwell, Lewis Barron, Holly Bates, Barbar Berkery, Mary Boulding, Sarah Bowden, Fred Bonham Carter, Steven Clarke, James Cleave, James Fingers Buxton, Rebecca Collis, Tom Crooke, Roxanne Cuenca, Patrick Cullen, Ella Daines-Smith, Richard Daldry, Vanessa Davies, Matt Day, Same Dent, Nilan Dharmadasa, Wayne Docksey, Cathy Doubleday, Eleanor Downey, Shaun Emery, DR Farquharson, Lucia Foster Found, Adam Foster, Catherine Francis, Stephen Gallacher, Michael Gentry, Donna Glasser-Hancock, Gail Gostick, Richard Grand, Faye Green, Emma Gunnery, Anna Hall, Sam Hare, Harry Hewitt, milo Hewitt, Turner Hodsoll, Paul Hornsby, Jamie Kemp, Amanda Koh, Charles Larcombe, Rob Levy, Philip Lobban, Cazzie Loveday, Nicoletta Mani, Jenny Maybour, Matthew Redding, David Taylor, Will Samuelson, Hamish Secrett, Rebecca Wolf, Jo Winter, Richard Wild, Ashley Wild, Joan Washington, Jimmy Yuill, Lenart Cernilogar, Brandon Jones, Aaron Broghamer, Brent Primus

So, I have two thumbs (and other things, I am winking at you with innuendo) straining to the CGI sky.

Cinderella is good.

No shit.

You may even have eye water leaks (damn romance stuff – maybe there was dust in the air).

See it, if you have a heart.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – Kimmo On Kimmo – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  “The 100!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Damn, Clarke. You are one stone cold-assed assassin. Now learn to forgive and go make out with Lexa. It is your destiny. And it will be appointment TV. At least in the house of Kimmo.

P.P.S.  Pete Carroll, you are owning me $500. Passing on the 1? With two time outs and Marshawn Lynch? Huh. Really. There is in Seattle Aquarium a hermit crab named Marshawn Pinch. This is the truth. Marshawn Pinch would have from the 1 scored. Damn.

Marshawn Pinch, Marshawn Lynch, Pete Caroll

7 comments

  1. Megan R. · March 13, 2015

    I liked this movie! A little boring, I sure do wish I had CGI mice to follow me around…

  2. Aubrey Anderson · March 13, 2015

    Just wanted you to know that I have NEVER laughed and snorted so much through reading a review of a movie.

  3. Dave · March 13, 2015

    This is one of the best reviews I’ve ever read. Well done!

  4. nasir · March 13

    I really like this video trailer 🙂 .. I am so excited for this video 🙂

  5. Elmore Organisation · March 13

    Over all the movie was good but little boring too ,it was one of my favorite childhood characters.

  6. Elmore Music · March 13

    One of my best childhood story…

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