Good afternoon from Yas Island – Abu Dhabi U.A.E.
I am dictating this blog from a mud bath in the giant purple Yas Hotel Spa Resort. Thanks to Stefania Bianchi and Nour Malas from the Wall Street Journal for taking this down and getting it to my office. I apologize for the smell.
When the U.A.E. ruler and prime minister Sheik Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum called me over the weekend to see if I could come to speak at the Abu Dhabi Media Summit, I told him absolutely not. I was preparing for another disastrous night at the Oscars (in which Manka Bros. was shut out yet again!) and did not want to travel 10,000 miles (or whatever) to speak about Manka Bros.’ future in the Middle East.
As far as I’m concerned, there isn’t a future for Manka Bros. in the Middle East. Construction of our Manka Fun Park in Yemen has gotten off to a horrible start due to various terrorist acts in and around the park site, so optimism about the future is not something I’m feeling right now.
But, in a stunning coincidence, as I was speaking to the Sheik, Rupert Murdoch called from his airport and asked if I wanted to hitch a ride to Abu Dhabi on his jet (The Roger Ailes 1).
It’s hard to turn down Rupert – so here I am.
(Note: To Ethan Rubidoux, we’re stopping through Yemen on the way back to check on Manka Fun Park Yemen’s progress. Please triple my personal security and make sure Johnny Walker Blue is stocked in the mini-bar).
Rupert spoke tonight. He rambled on and on about freedom of the press in the Middle East (or some such bullshit).
Hey Rupert, from one freedom crusher to another – “Nice try.” Think the Sheik buy will that crap from the owner of Fox News?
Rupert was supposed to meet me here at the spa after his speech but I haven’t seen him yet. He has two hours blocked out for a chemical peel.
Later tonight, I’m meeting Eric Schmidt at the Noodle Box here at the hotel. He wanted to meet at the Wandering Camel Discoteque (something like that) but I had to take a pass. My knee has been f-ed up ever since I took a tumble down Whistler while at the Vancouver Olympics. Dancing until dawn is something I can’t really handle right now.
Eric wants Manka Bros. to go exclusive to the Google Android with our mobile content. I’m going to tell him the only way we would agree to that would be if he changed his name to Steve Jobs and changed his company name to Apple.
He won’t respond well to that. But I don’t respond well to others trying to push around The World’s Largest Media Company!
Here’s Rupert now (with Steve Ballmer – and three other guys carrying Steve’s stuff).
Wish me luck tomorrow. I just pray they let me leave the country after I destroy their delusions of creating a “New Media Paradise” in the middle of this miserable desert.