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Jan
19

Manka Bros. Is Not Attending The Sundance Film Festival

Amy Mcgee, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Bob Weinstein, Brooks Addicott, Casey De la Rosa, Derek Cianfrance, Elizabeth Leidt, FilmBuff, Harvey Weinstein, James Schamus, Jeff Schamus, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, John Cooper, John Sloss, John Wells, Julieta Esteban, Khan Manka, Krissy Bailey, Kristina Parker, Lauren Larson, Lisa Cholodenko, Maggie Sowell, Manka Bros., Mark Gill, Melissa Ventura, Peter Rice, Ricki Stern, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Epstein, Robert Redford, Rosie Wong, Shari Springer Berman, Spencer Susser, Tatiana Tensen, Terry Semel, The Weinstein CompanyTo all the acquisition and distribution executives at Manka HighbrowManka DogmaManka Docs and the new Manka Mumblecore - due to the shitty year you all had in 2011you will not be attending the Sundance Film Festival this year.

If you desperately feel the need to attend in order to bid on a movie starring Patricia Clarkson and William H. Macy about people who have no idea how to cope in a world filled with so much suffering, then I suggest you quit your job and start a new company that specializes in distributing videos shot on camcorders that no one wants to see!

When times are good, Manka Bros. has no trouble throwing away money at meaningless film festivals.  (Am I the only one that feels the films are only shown to kill time in between parties?  If you want to get drunk all the time go to CES!)

And, yes, sometimes we even get lucky – for instance, when we picked up the rights to Snuffing Out The Magic Fury (which will finally open next month after extensive recuts and reshoots and recasts).

Amy Mcgee, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Bob Weinstein, Brooks Addicott, Casey De la Rosa, Derek Cianfrance, Elizabeth Leidt, FilmBuff, Harvey Weinstein, James Schamus, Jeff Schamus, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, John Cooper, John Sloss, John Wells, Julieta Esteban, Khan Manka, Krissy Bailey, Kristina Parker, Lauren Larson, Lisa Cholodenko, Maggie Sowell, Manka Bros., Mark Gill, Melissa Ventura, Peter Rice, Ricki Stern, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Epstein, Robert Redford, Rosie Wong, Shari Springer Berman, Spencer Susser, Tatiana Tensen, Terry Semel, The Weinstein CompanyBut, too bad, junior executives, there will be no more $600 a night rooms with $1,000 a night “entertainment” bar tabs while you try to sleep with 22-year-old “directors” who would do anything to get their $300 film about an autistic coal miner distributed by a major Hollywood studio.

I realize you’ve probably already purchased your $400 ski caps that you were planning on wearing throughout the festival because independent film makers are way too cool to shower (and, of course, you have to be just like them).

I guess you’ll have to return the clothes at lunch today.

We have a new theatrical policy here at Manka Bros. WE WILL NOT PRODUCE OR DISTRIBUTE ANY FILM THAT DOES NOT MAKE MONEY!

So for the young writers and directors of the world who make films about:

  • The various plights of high school geeks growing up in the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s;
  • Immigrants trying to survive in modern day Mobile, Alabama;
  • Poets trying to break free from their oppressive capitalist “day jobs”
  • Cancer movies of every size and shape;
  • (and, my favorite) Movies about filmmakers trying to get their films made in Hollywood where everyone who works at a studio is some kind of idiot…

I’m sorry, you’ll have to find some other sucker to distribute your story that MUST BE TOLD.

Harvey Weinstein is flush with cash with all that money he saved by distributing a silent movie!  Go bother him – he’ll be the one smoking.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. - Chairman & CEO - Manka Bros. Studios - The World’s Largest Media Company

Permanent link to this article: http://mankabros.com/blogs/chairman/2012/01/19/manka-bros-is-not-attending-the-sundance-film-festival/

4 comments

1 ping

  1. Hollywood Producer says:

    the question is whether you’ll ever go. You seem to say the same thing every year. there is some value to independent film you know. There would be award winning films without independent films.

  2. Roger Slagle says:

    Twenty five… isn’t that a bit old. lol Hum… maybe Independent Film Makrers should start asking the film festivsls to start paying us after all we provide the product for them to untimatly make the money off of in so many many ways. Indpt. Film Makers would have to still give em the Early bird special and Late entry fees though. Now there’s a thought.

  3. Pepper says:

    Do you realize how many immigrants there are in Mobile, Alabama? The time is right for a film exposing this little-known secret.

    It is quite possible that some of these immigrants are, in fact, actually here legally. Possible, but not probable.

  4. Dr Jeff Eger says:

    Mr. Manka,keep it honest,funny and earthy.I like your humor and drive.If your company is looking for something new and innovative with backing me on ,what I feel, could be a best selling book then look up http://www.allamericansportsvision.com and see the background of the book with a terrific title I copyrighted.The sale of the book would help rocket sales of eye or seeing skill drills for kids who are learning disabled and athletes,of all ages wanting to have quicker and more accurate EYE-hand reaction time,anticipation,and seeing more periphery to see ahead of real time.Interested?Then email me drjeffeger@cox.net .You seem like a man of action?

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    […] many of you have read, Manka Bros. has stopped going to the Sundance Film Festival because certain executives in the past chose to spend the week living like […]

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