Category Archive: Awards

Jan
10

Again, The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences Can F Itself

What I said last year can be repeated this year. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences can F itself. The same goes for the Hollywood Foreign Press Association… And while I’m at it, The Producer’s Guild can suck it… … and any other suck ass group of idiots who wouldn’t know a quality movie …

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Permanent link to this article: http://mankabros.com/blogs/chairman/2013/01/10/again-the-academy-of-motion-picture-arts-and-sciences-can-f-itself/

Dec
13

The Hollywood Foreign Press Association Can F Themselves

So, this morning, I returned to the studio after a quick vacation at my house in the Seychelles - feeling relaxed, very tan and ready to make 2013 the biggest and most profitable year in Manka Bros. history. I even had a smile on my face. One of my assistants (Vicky, I think??? – the one with the thing …

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Permanent link to this article: http://mankabros.com/blogs/chairman/2012/12/13/the-hollywood-foreign-press-association-can-f-themselves/

Jan
24

The Academy Of Motion Picture Arts And Sciences Can F Itself

Good evening from Davos! I am here preparing for my keynote address tomorrow to the World Economic Forum (I also spoke here two years ago). The subject of my speech will be the importance of media in the global economy and how Hollywood will defeat Silicon Valley after their recent challenge to bring us down. …

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Permanent link to this article: http://mankabros.com/blogs/chairman/2012/01/24/the-academy-of-motion-picture-arts-and-sciences-can-f-itself/

Jan
19

Manka Bros. Is Not Attending The Sundance Film Festival

To all the acquisition and distribution executives at Manka Highbrow, Manka Dogma, Manka Docs and the new Manka Mumblecore - due to the shitty year you all had in 2011, you will not be attending the Sundance Film Festival this year. If you desperately feel the need to attend in order to bid on a movie starring Patricia Clarkson and William H. Macy about people who have no idea …

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Permanent link to this article: http://mankabros.com/blogs/chairman/2012/01/19/manka-bros-is-not-attending-the-sundance-film-festival/

Jan
03

The Producers Guild Can Suck It

And while I’m at it – the Hollywood Foreign Press can suck it, too! So, this morning I returned to the studio from a month long vacation at my house in the Seychelles – feeling relaxed, very tan and ready to make 2012 the biggest and most profitable year in Manka Bros. history. I even …

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Permanent link to this article: http://mankabros.com/blogs/chairman/2012/01/03/the-producers-guild-can-suck-it/

Oct
12

Gay Moroccan Poetry Is Not Going To Save Our Publishing Business

Last night, I had dinner with Cyrus Weinstein - President of the Manka Bros. Publishing Group. He informed me that his group is in ‘super-duper danger’ (as opposed to the ‘super danger’ he told me about last year) with books and magazine sales way down year-over-year (a ‘reverse hockey stick’, I believe he said). “If you aren’t on a plane, …

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Permanent link to this article: http://mankabros.com/blogs/chairman/2011/10/12/gay-moroccan-poetry-is-not-going-to-save-our-publishing-business/

Jun
09

Bilderberg Conference – Khan Manka, Jr. Keynote Address

[The following is a transcript of Khan Manka, Jr.'s keynote address to the 2011 Bilderberg Conference in St. Moritz, Switzerland.  Mr. Manka insisted a word-for-word translation be put up on the blog.  While physical and legal threats against our lives and livelihoods have been made, we will do as Mr. Manka has asked. His speech …

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Permanent link to this article: http://mankabros.com/blogs/chairman/2011/06/09/bilderberg-conference-khan-manka-jr-keynote-address/

Feb
22

Manka Bros. Triathlon Team Finishes Last… Again

Unbe-fucking-lievable! If I didn’t know better, I would think that my employees only live to embarrass me. I was just informed that the Manka Bros. Triathlon Team (led by the freakishly pathetic Jay McBee – nice swim trunks, Jay) finished last at this year’s Nautica Malibu Triathlon. Last for the fifth straight year! The Nautica …

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Permanent link to this article: http://mankabros.com/blogs/chairman/2011/02/22/manka-bros-triathlon-team-finishes-last-again/

Sep
01

Vanity Fair Can Suck It

Good evening from the Seychelles. While I wasn’t planning on contacting anyone except the bartender during my final vacation of the summer, this morning I was forwarded the 2010 Vanity Fair 100 List.  Most people consider this list to be an annual ranking of the world’s most powerful media moguls – I consider this list …

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Permanent link to this article: http://mankabros.com/blogs/chairman/2010/09/01/vanity-fair-can-suck-it/

Jul
21

Khan Manka, Jr. – Comic-Con 2010 Keynote Address

Before I get started, I just want say that I am not a geek.  I am not a freak.  I am not a dork. So why am I here today? I’m here because you geeks, freaks and dorks help keep me in private planes and make my Holmby Hills house very very affordable.  And even …

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Permanent link to this article: http://mankabros.com/blogs/chairman/2010/07/21/khan-manka-jr-comic-con-2010-keynote-address/

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