Category Archive: Warner Bros.

Sep
25

Manka Bros. Announces Huge Joint Venture In China

Good afternoon. I have very exciting news. Manka Bros. has entered into an exclusive agreement with The Happy China Magic Film Co. to produce and distribute up to 100 MOVIES over the next 5 YEARS. This deal is worth up to $2 BILLION and puts Manka Bros. at the top of the entertainment pyramid in China. (Our previous deal with Mao …

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Permanent link to this article: http://mankabros.com/blogs/chairman/2014/09/25/manka-bros-announces-huge-joint-venture-in-china/

Jul
14

Manka Bros. To Produce Lots Of Event Series

Good evening from my house in the Seychelles! I flew here directly from Herb Allen’s worst Sun Valley conference ever. Maybe he should just stop and hand it off to Herbert Allen, Jr. Jr. (if there is such a thing). There’s really no point to these blow fests every year. The only thing we learned this …

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Permanent link to this article: http://mankabros.com/blogs/chairman/2014/07/14/manka-bros-to-produce-lots-of-event-series/

Jul
10

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2014 – Improv Night

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2014 Day 1: The End Of Cynicism Day 2: Pivot Day 3: Improv Night You know what? F these young tech dorks! The great John Grisham once wrote there is a “Time To Kill” (or Jesus said it in the Bible – I don’t know)… but last night was almost …

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Permanent link to this article: http://mankabros.com/blogs/chairman/2014/07/10/herb-allens-sun-valley-conference-2014-day-3-improv-night/

Jul
09

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2014 – Day 2 – Pivot

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2014 Day 1: The End Of Cynicism Day 2: Pivot Day 3: Improv Night I hate buzz words. I don’t use them. I make fun of those that use them. I didn’t go to business school so I didn’t learn how to speak cliches in meetings. I went to …

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Permanent link to this article: http://mankabros.com/blogs/chairman/2014/07/09/herb-allens-sun-valley-conference-2014-day-2-pivot/

Jul
08

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2014 – Day 1 – The End of Cynicism

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2014 Day 1: The End of Cynicism Day 2: Pivot Day 3: Improv Night Well, fuck, it’s that time of year again. I contemplated not going at all to the Herb Allen’s Sun Valley snorefest, but decided it was in my company’s best interest… ah, fuck that, I just …

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Permanent link to this article: http://mankabros.com/blogs/chairman/2014/07/08/herb-allens-sun-valley-conference-2014-day-1-the-end-of-cynicism/

Permanent link to this article: http://mankabros.com/blogs/chairman/2014/05/29/manka-bros-would-like-to-offer-kevin-reilly-a-job/

May
06

Manka Bros. Would Like To Hire Lara Logan

Good afternoon. It was brought to my attention that CBS news correspondent Lara Logan is getting some backlash for her 60 Minutes report on Benghazi. In fact, I have heard that she may not be allowed to return to CBS News. If that were to happen, Manka Bros. would like to hire her to run …

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Permanent link to this article: http://mankabros.com/blogs/chairman/2014/05/06/manka-bros-would-like-to-hire-lara-logan/

Mar
12

Profits Up – Time For Cuts

Good morning. As many of you know, Manka Bros. had an excellent 2013 (mainly from the asbestos lawsuit payout from the state [yeah, baby!] and increased attendance at our Manka Fun Parks due to the new Animaltered Attractions in Des Moines and Halifax). Because of our good fortune and superior senior management (with the exception …

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Permanent link to this article: http://mankabros.com/blogs/chairman/2014/03/12/profits-up-time-for-cuts/

Jan
17

Sundance: Manka Bros. Acquires ‘Scoiattolo che mangia arancio’

Hello from Maui! I’m feeling much better and have recovered from the outrageous snub from the Motion Picture Academy – yet still, fuck the Academy Awards. But life in Hollywood must continue. As many of you have read, Manka Bros. has stopped going to the Sundance Film Festival because certain executives in the past chose to …

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Permanent link to this article: http://mankabros.com/blogs/chairman/2014/01/17/sundance-manka-bros-acquires-scoiattolo-che-mangia-arancio/

Jan
16

F The Academy Awards

Another year – another snub. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences can F itself. The same goes for the Hollywood Foreign Press Association… And while I’m at it, The Producer’s Guild can suck it… … and any other suck ass group of idiots who wouldn’t know a quality movie if it bit them in the …

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Permanent link to this article: http://mankabros.com/blogs/chairman/2014/01/16/f-the-academy-awards/

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