Good afternoon. I hope you are all enjoying your vacations. I mean, you can’t possibly be working because if you were MANKA BROS. WOULDN’T BE HAVING SUCH A HORRIBLE YEAR! If you are working, then you obviously suck at your job and should immediately quit…
Good morning. Many of you have no doubt been reading in the press about the attempted overthrow of the Yemeni President and wonder how that will affect the construction of the Manka Fun Park – Yemen – which is scheduled to open later this year….
Good morning. Following an all night film strategy brainstorming session, I am pleased to announce Manka Bros. has committed to produce a $250 million reimagining of the classic children’s fairy tale “Hey Diddle Diddle”. This is a mighty big bet for the studio and a…
Unbe-fucking-lievable! If I didn’t know better, I would think that my employees only live to embarrass me. I was just informed that the Manka Bros. Triathlon Team (led by the freakishly pathetic Jay McBee – nice swim trunks, Jay) finished last at this year’s Nautica…
Good morning. The brain trust of The Hollywood Reporter has come out with what they say will be the World’s Largest Media Companies after the Comcast NBC Universal deal goes through. BULLSHIT, I SAY! THR has had it in for me ever since I threatened…
Due to the shitty year Manka Bros. has had at the box office, the crappy television shows that were produced for our horrible television networks, declining music sales and the frightening losses in our Publishing Group, I have decided to cancel the 2010 Manka Bros….
Good morning. In response to my friend Eric Schmidt’s announcement that every employee of Google will receive a $1,000 bonus and a 10% raise, I am announcing a $1,001 bonus and 10.1% raise to the Senior Management team at Manka Bros. Unfortunately, because of the…
Good morning. Because of the recent news that mail bombs were sent from Yemen in an attempt to blow up two Chicago-area synagogues, several people have inquired about Manka Bros.’ plans to build a billion dollar Manka Fun Park in Yemen. After much thought and…
Good morning. I just want to say to all the thousands of Manka Bros. employees who think they’ve got a shitty job… you have no idea how lucky you are. You could work at Comcast. My old friend Brian Roberts called me in a panic…