Dear Peter Jackson,
Please eat.
I’ve been speaking to some fanboys (and girls) and they would prefer that a fat Peter Jackson directs “The Hobbit” rather than the less creative skinny Peter Jackson.
With the Holidays coming up, there is plenty of opportunity for you to pack on at least 50 pounds before film production begins next year.
Based on the great sacrifice your country has made to make sure ‘The Hobbit’ is made in New Zealand, there is a lot at stake. The least you can do is have a few extra helpings of lasagna and eggnog to ensure that the finished product is more “Lord of the Rings” and less “Lovely Bones”.
Craft Services is your friend – less salad and more empty calories, please (Red Vines and donuts are good). And alcohol. Lots of alcohol.
Jill Kennedy – OnMedea
Jill Kennedy is a former media analyst for a major Wall Street investment bank that has now gone out of business (in disgrace).
Medea was a real bitch from classical mythology - as most famously dramatized by Euripides.
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4 comments
Finrodel says:
July 21, 2011 at 6:51 am (UTC -7 )
Don’t kill the guy! His doctor probably told him to lose 50 lbs. or he wouldn’t live to see the “Hobbit” finished!
Chris says:
April 25, 2012 at 12:52 am (UTC -7 )
Yes, because as we all know Peter Jackson only made bad movies when he got skinny. He by no means made a towering blockbuster that lived up to almost unattainable expectations *cough cough KING KONG cough cough*
Kellie says:
December 5, 2012 at 11:11 am (UTC -7 )
I could see how this might apply if the movie was a comedy…because we all know that fat equals jolly….right?
But seriously, come on people. He didn’t loose his creativity along with the weight. Get real!!!
Kellie says:
December 5, 2012 at 11:12 am (UTC -7 )
Make that ‘lose’ his creativity. I am my own spelling police LMFAO.