The year is 2014.
The people of the world have abandoned social networking after going out on too many creepy dates.
LinkedIn, once a Wall Street darling, was acquired today by Monster.com for $37,242 – basically the value of the copper wire in the walls of their unfinished (and unpaid for) $1 billion dollar office complex in The Presidio.
At its peak in late 2011, LinkedIn (a groundbreaking social network in which people could send messages to each other) had a market cap of $560 billion – more than the top 2 companies in the world combined.
The stock began its plunge after CEO Jeff Weiner cashed out and left the company to become CEO of Apple at the beginning of 2012. Ironically, Apple’s stock began its plunge immediately after he became CEO.
It’s really a tragic story of greed and the inability to create a product that people can actually use. And if they did use it, it was only because they thought they should be doing it – because others were – and no one wants to be left out. But now everyone is left out.
About the sale, Mr. Weiner said: “I work at Apple now. I’m just thinking about running this company. LinkedIn was just a blip in my long career. It was really Reid’s baby, Reid’s vision (State Senator Reid Hoffman D-Palo Alto). I just worked there.”
And made over $2 billion while there.
Senator Hoffman was unreachable by phone but did release a statement through his office: “LinkedIn should have been my ticket to wealth beyond my wildest dreams. Thinking back, I wish I would have sold all (or even some) of my stock when it peaked like Jeff Weiner did. That bastard made $2 billion! It’s a God damned shame. State politics don’t pay shit.”
So LinkedIn, you were great once (in valuation), but now you’re gone. To quote The Lion In Winter – “The sun was warmer then…”
Shine on you crazy diamond!
Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Jill Kennedy is a former media analyst for a major Wall Street investment bank that has now gone out of business (in disgrace).
Medea was a real bitch from classical mythology - as most famously dramatized by Euripides.
17 comments
6 pings
Jill Kennedy says:
November 27, 2012 at 3:47 pm (UTC -7 )
you are a true report type. pure slut.
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Rupert Murdoch’s Special Charity » Chairman's Blog says:
May 24, 2011 at 11:15 am (UTC -7 )
[...] COO Sheryl Sandberg and LinkedIn CEO Jeff Weiner were completely overcome and [...]
AMC Networks Had An IPO Today… » OnMedea says:
July 1, 2011 at 10:43 am (UTC -7 )
[...] freakin’ investment bank in New York is clambering to get in on it. Like they were with LinkedIn and they will be with [...]
Mogulympics – Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – Day 2 » Chairman's Blog says:
July 6, 2011 at 11:49 am (UTC -7 )
[...] I got to the field, I could see Jeffrey Katzenberg and LinkedIn’s Jeff Weiner hopping up and down, stretching. A few others were mingling about but I couldn’t make out [...]
Khan Manka, Jr. Speech – Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference 2011 – Day 3 » Chairman's Blog says:
July 7, 2011 at 5:38 pm (UTC -7 )
[...] Manka, Jr.: Why the hell would Reid Hoffman be considered a mogul? He runs a little chat room for people trying to get [...]
OnMedea Raises $50 At A $1 Billion Valuation » OnMedea says:
August 3, 2011 at 5:07 pm (UTC -7 )
[...] and a sign that we are truly in a bubble – it’s really no more ridiculous than Airbnb, LinkedIn, Zynga, Groupon, Facebook or (fill in Y Combinator’s next spin-off [...]
Polemick says:
August 30, 2011 at 5:37 pm (UTC -7 )
Wonderful…..
I emailed this to three of my friends. You are truly an authority on this topic……