Monthly Archives: March 2011

The Last Day I Was Happy

The last day I was happy was August 3rd, 1976.  Maybe down the line a piece I’ll tell you what happened on that day.  But not today.  I’m too sick and tired to talk about something happy. The Spartans have … Continue reading

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I Have A Goddamned Brown Spot The Size Of A Saucer On My Stomach

I have a goddamned brown spot the size of a saucer on my stomach.  I don’t know what the hell it is.  It doesn’t hurt.  It doesn’t affect my ability to empty my bodily waste into the colostomy bag.  But … Continue reading

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You Know You’re Getting Old When You Start Bleeding From The Ass

Don’t fret, idiots, that’s not the subject of my column today – as always, it’s THOSE DAMN KIDS! However, when I am bleeding from the ass (e.g., this morning), my hatred of those damn kids grows tenfold!  The picture of … Continue reading

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