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About Lester
Lester Aldrich is a World War 2 and Korean War veteran. He has been a contributing writer for Manka Bros.' Octogenarian Mankazine since he turned 80 (eight years ago).He lives in East Lansing, Michigan with his wife of 65 years and really hates THOSE DAMN KIDS.
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Tag Archives: Andy Rooney
When John Glenn Circled The Earth
There’s not a man outside waiting to kill me if I step out of my house and there’s NOT a terrible flu virus killing off the old people of the world (Swine Flu is for pussies!). The only problem, as I see it … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged AARP, Afghanistan, aging, Alf Landon, Andy Rooney, Antonio ( "El Bailarín" ) Ruiz Soler, Arbys, Ari Emanuel, Art LInkletter, Ben Silverman, bleeding from the ass, brown spot on stomach, cannibalism, Carmen Amaya, Charles de Gaulle, CNN, colon bleeding, colostomy bag, Ding Dong Ditch 'em, Douglas Macarthur, east lansing, Edgard de Larminat, El Farruco, elephant toilet, Erich Von Manstein, Flamenco, Flaming bags of manure, Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Friendship 7, Garrison Keillor, George Burns, George Herbert Walker Bush, Iraq, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, John Glenn, José Greco, Joseph de Goislard de Monsabert, Juan Manuel ( "El Farruquito" ) Fernández, Khan Manka, Korean War, La Argentina, La Argentinita, la trucha, lansing state journal, Lawrence Welk, Lester, lester aldrich, Lew Wasserman, Maginot Line, Manka Bros., Mercury Atlas 6, Michigan, octogenarian, old man blog, Paul Harvey, Rupert Murdoch, Satan, Seven Plagues of the Bible, Spain during World War 2, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, those damn kids, VFW Hall, Vicente Escudero, Vietnam War, World War 2, World's largest Media Company
2 Comments
Lester Aldrich Has Colostomy Bag Issues And Can’t Straighten His Fingers…
Hello, this is Mrs. Aldrich – Lester Aldrich’s wife. He wanted me to type something here to tell you that he can’t write his column today because he has issues with his colostomy bag (see right) and can’t straighten his fingers. … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged AARP, aging, Alf Landon, Andy Rooney, Arbys, Ari Emanuel, Art LInkletter, Ben Silverman, bleeding from the ass, brown spot on stomach, cannibalism, CNN, colon bleeding, colostomy bag, Douglas Macarthur, east lansing, elephant toilet, Garrison Keillor, George Burns, George Herbert Walker Bush, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Khan Manka, Korean War, lansing state journal, Lawrence Welk, lester aldrich, Lew Wasserman, Manka Bros., Michigan, octogenarian, old man blog, Paul Harvey, Rupert Murdoch, Satan, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, those damn kids, World War 2, World's largest Media Company
1 Comment
Pension Fund Shot?
Retirement money dried up? Stop your bitching and do what me and Mrs. Aldrich do – EAT DOG FOOD. And not that premium Alpo crap – I’m talking Chappie Original Dog Food Meal! Me and the Mrs. have been through tougher times than this. … Continue reading
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Tagged AARP, Afghanistan, aging, Alf Landon, All In The Family, Alpo, Andy Rooney, Antonio ( "El Bailarín" ) Ruiz Soler, Arbys, Archie bunker, Ari Emanuel, Art LInkletter, Ben Silverman, bleeding from the ass, brown spot on stomach, cannibalism, Carmen Amaya, Chappie, Charles de Gaulle, Chiang Kai-Shek, Chinese Civil War, CNN, colon bleeding, colostomy bag, Communists, Confucius, Ding Dong Ditch 'em, Dog Food, dope smoking, Douglas Macarthur, east lansing, Edgard de Larminat, El Farruco, elephant toilet, Erich Von Manstein, Flamenco, Flaming bags of manure, Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Friendship 7, Garrison Keillor, George Burns, George Herbert Walker Bush, Iraq, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, John Glenn, José Greco, Joseph de Goislard de Monsabert, Juan Manuel ( "El Farruquito" ) Fernández, Khan Manka, Korean War, La Argentina, La Argentinita, la trucha, lansing state journal, Lawrence Welk, Lester, lester aldrich, Lew Wasserman, Maginot Line, Manka Bros., Mercury Atlas 6, Michigan, octogenarian, Octogenarian Revolution, old man blog, Paul Harvey, Rupert Murdoch, Satan, Seven Plagues of the Bible, Spain during World War 2, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, those damn kids, VFW Hall, Vicente Escudero, Vietnam War, Virg Bernero, VJ Day, World War 2, World's largest Media Company
1 Comment
I Was A Teenager In The Great Depression
… My father was unemployed. We had very little food. We never bathed. I didn’t go to school very often. But I was a teenager so I didn’t give a shit about any of that stuff. I just wanted to … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged AARP, aging, Alf Landon, Andy Rooney, Antonio ( "El Bailarín" ) Ruiz Soler, Arbys, Ari Emanuel, Art LInkletter, Ben Silverman, bleeding from the ass, brown spot on stomach, cannibalism, Carmen Amaya, Charles de Gaulle, CNN, colon bleeding, colostomy bag, Douglas Macarthur, east lansing, Edgard de Larminat, El Farruco, elephant toilet, Erich Von Manstein, Flamenco, Garrison Keillor, George Burns, George Herbert Walker Bush, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, José Greco, Joseph de Goislard de Monsabert, Juan Manuel ( "El Farruquito" ) Fernández, Khan Manka, Korean War, La Argentina, La Argentinita, la trucha, lansing state journal, Lawrence Welk, lester aldrich, Lew Wasserman, Maginot Line, Manka Bros., Michigan, octogenarian, old man blog, Paul Harvey, pension fund, richard fuld, Rupert Murdoch, Satan, Spain during World War 2, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, the great depression, those damn kids, VFW Hall, Vicente Escudero, Vietnam War, World War 2, World's largest Media Company
3 Comments
In 1944, I Was Ordered To Go To Spain
On this date, in 1944, I was ordered to go to Spain after five months of heavy fighting in eastern France. I counted 35 kills in my personal quest to get to the Rhine but my fuck-ass superior officer thought … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged AARP, aging, Alf Landon, Andy Rooney, Antonio ( "El Bailarín" ) Ruiz Soler, Arbys, Ari Emanuel, Art LInkletter, Ben Silverman, bleeding from the ass, brown spot on stomach, cannibalism, Carmen Amaya, Charles de Gaulle, CNN, colon bleeding, colostomy bag, Douglas Macarthur, east lansing, Edgard de Larminat, El Farruco, elephant toilet, Erich Von Manstein, Flamenco, Garrison Keillor, George Burns, George Herbert Walker Bush, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, José Greco, Joseph de Goislard de Monsabert, Juan Manuel ( "El Farruquito" ) Fernández, Khan Manka, Korean War, La Argentina, La Argentinita, la trucha, lansing state journal, Lawrence Welk, lester aldrich, Lew Wasserman, Maginot Line, Manka Bros., Michigan, octogenarian, old man blog, Paul Harvey, Rupert Murdoch, Satan, Spain during World War 2, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, those damn kids, VFW Hall, Vicente Escudero, Vietnam War, World War 2, World's largest Media Company
1 Comment
The VFW Hall Ain’t What It Used To Be
There are now more Goddamned documentary filmmakers in the VFW bar area than actual veterans. Asshole punk filmmakers with their zippo cameras who just learned there was a World War 2 and think that would “make a great movie”!; dickwad … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged AARP, aging, Alf Landon, Andy Rooney, Arbys, Ari Emanuel, Art LInkletter, Ben Silverman, bleeding from the ass, brown spot on stomach, cannibalism, CNN, colon bleeding, colostomy bag, Douglas Macarthur, east lansing, elephant toilet, Garrison Keillor, George Burns, George Herbert Walker Bush, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Khan Manka, Korean War, lansing state journal, Lawrence Welk, lester aldrich, Lew Wasserman, Manka Bros., Michigan, octogenarian, old man blog, Paul Harvey, Rupert Murdoch, Satan, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, those damn kids, VFW Hall, Vietnam War, World War 2, World's largest Media Company
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The Octogenarian Revolution Has Begun!
Mrs. Aldrich is absolutely sick of THOSE DAMN KIDS! It’s bad enough she has go to the doctor three times a week and take a bag full of pills each day just to have the strength to watch television, but … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged AARP, Afghanistan, aging, Alf Landon, Andy Rooney, Antonio ( "El Bailarín" ) Ruiz Soler, Arbys, Ari Emanuel, Art LInkletter, Ben Silverman, bleeding from the ass, brown spot on stomach, cannibalism, Carmen Amaya, Charles de Gaulle, Chiang Kai-Shek, Chinese Civil War, CNN, colon bleeding, colostomy bag, Communists, Confucius, Ding Dong Ditch 'em, dope smoking, Douglas Macarthur, east lansing, Edgard de Larminat, El Farruco, elephant toilet, Erich Von Manstein, Flamenco, Flaming bags of manure, Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Friendship 7, Garrison Keillor, George Burns, George Herbert Walker Bush, Iraq, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, John Glenn, José Greco, Joseph de Goislard de Monsabert, Juan Manuel ( "El Farruquito" ) Fernández, Khan Manka, Korean War, La Argentina, La Argentinita, la trucha, lansing state journal, Lawrence Welk, Lester, lester aldrich, Lew Wasserman, Maginot Line, Manka Bros., Mercury Atlas 6, Michigan, octogenarian, Octogenarian Revolution, old man blog, Paul Harvey, Rupert Murdoch, Satan, Seven Plagues of the Bible, Spain during World War 2, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, those damn kids, VFW Hall, Vicente Escudero, Vietnam War, World War 2, World's largest Media Company
3 Comments
Once You Hit Old Age…
Once you hit old age, doctors must replace some of your parts to keep you alive and shut down other parts that you don’t need all together. Having a colostomy bag is not fun and if I had the choice … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged AARP, aging, Alf Landon, Andy Rooney, Arbys, Ari Emanuel, Art LInkletter, Ben Silverman, bleeding from the ass, brown spot on stomach, cannibalism, CNN, colon bleeding, colostomy bag, Douglas Macarthur, east lansing, elephant toilet, Garrison Keillor, George Burns, George Herbert Walker Bush, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Khan Manka, Korean War, lansing state journal, Lawrence Welk, lester aldrich, Lew Wasserman, Manka Bros., Michigan, Mike Rogers, octogenarian, old man blog, Paul Harvey, Rupert Murdoch, Satan, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, those damn kids, VFW Hall, Vietnam War, World War 2, World's largest Media Company
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A Man’s Ass Should Last His Entire Lifetime
I just want to say for the record on this world wide web I type on every week – FUCK MY COLOSTOMY BAG. FUCK IT ALL TO HELL!! You see, sometimes old people like George Burns are allowed to smoke … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged AARP, aging, Alf Landon, Andy Rooney, Arbys, Ari Emanuel, Art LInkletter, Ben Silverman, bleeding from the ass, brown spot on stomach, cannibalism, CNN, colon bleeding, colostomy bag, Douglas Macarthur, east lansing, elephant toilet, Garrison Keillor, George Burns, George Herbert Walker Bush, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Khan Manka, Korean War, lansing state journal, Lawrence Welk, lester aldrich, Lew Wasserman, Manka Bros., Michigan, octogenarian, old man blog, Paul Harvey, Rupert Murdoch, Satan, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, those damn kids, World War 2, World's largest Media Company
7 Comments
I Once Ate A Man In Korea
I once ate a man in Korea. I’d prefer not to go into details. The Pentagon told us never to discuss it. I obey my orders from the Pentagon unlike all these pussy generals that parade onto CNN and talk … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged AARP, Alf Landon, Andy Rooney, Arbys, Ari Emanuel, Art LInklletter, Ben Silverman, cannibalism, CNN, Douglas Macarthur, east lansing, Garrison Keillor, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Khan Manka, Korean War, Lawrence Welk, lester aldrich, Manka Bros., Michigan, octogenarian, Paul Harvey, those damn kids, World's largest Media Company
3 Comments