Vidar knows what it is like to be Tent Girl.  

Vidar went through a divorce a year ago and lived in 2001 Nissan Sentra.  It sucked.

Tent Girl is full of shit.  She doesn’t like living in the woods.  She wants to live at the Renaissance Hollywood Hotel for a couple of weeks and then the American Idol mansion with the final 24.

Tent Girl is no fool – though I do hear she is a drunk.  It would be hotter if the Charlotte Bobcat cheerleader were a drunk.  That would smoking hot.

Vidar digresses…

Just as my brother Balder was killed by the evil Loki – so is “American Idol” killed by the idiot Randy Jackson.  Is it so hard to tell someone they are bad singers and they are not going to Hollywood?

My Odin – make a decision man!

Jenny from the Block is too nice (which is OK because she is so pretty).

Steven Tyler’s brain is too fried from all those years on the road with Joe Perry to be in charge.

So it’s up to Randy Jackson to be the tough guy.  Randy Jackson is weaker than a kitten and his verbal skills are sub-toddler.

But the season can be salvaged by the wild range talent that was on display last night!

• Michael Jackson’s son – Prince Blanket Jackson was unbelievable as the first performer of the night.  He hit higher notes than the Great Horn of Gjall – (that’s really high – by the way)!  And he’s quite the ladies man – which makes Vidar oh so proud.

• Ashlee Altise can singer like Lisa Left Eye Lopez but really needs to cut that hair.  It’s so annoying.  And that funky dance is not going to take off.  Sorry.

• Cute Tap Dancer Girl (I’ll try to remember the names next time) was a really great find.  She would be good in one of those annoying Disney movies where they break out in song in the middle of Summer Camp.

• The Girl Who Works With The Mentally Challenged Adults was certainly charming and you wish her the best – but she’s not going to win.  The world tree doesn’t need her voice – it needs her compassion and love for those people with disabilities.

• There was the idiot W.T. Thompson who quit his job at a prison to go to the audition.  He did get a ticket to Hollywood – but he won’t last long there.  Maybe the prison will give him his job back so he doesn’t have to become a criminal to feed his baby on the way.

• Phillip Phillips, Jr. – the stupid name guy seems to have a Joe Cocker thing going with his head when he sings.  This is charming for audition week but won’t be so charming when they have to sing the Best of Neil Sedaka in a few weeks.  But he has Top 5 written all over him.

• And, of course, my Tent Girl.  It will be interesting to see her makeover from Tent Girl to Hot Girl.  She also needs a brain makeover – but that may take longer.  She doesn’t seem so smart.  That’s just Vidar’s humble opinion.

Looking forward to the Pittsburgh auditions tonight!

Vidar – The Norse God Of Silence, Stealth & Revenge