November 10, 2009

Good morning.

There are several solid reasons for our recent disappointments - and these are not "lame excuses" like so many of you assholes reported last year in your precious little ANAL-yst reports. And don't worry about writing so fast... I'll put this little speech on our stupid little webpage.

Let's talk about Manka Bros. Studios. First of all, the Asian recession a few years ago is still affecting our Consumer Products business not only in Asia but all over the world. For the record, we pay our slave labor in China almost fifty cents more than Disney or Universal... but I digress.

David Chang: Uh, Khan...

Shut up and sit down, David. Your boss is speaking.

Next our theatrical films absolutely sucked. Last July, we replaced the last jerk-off production head with Robin Rafe. She is top-notch executive with an uncanny knack for picking winners. Though she hasn't picked any winners yet. Stand up, would ya Robin... I suspect this year we'll have less tits and more hits.

A couple of the films we're expecting big things from this year are the new Magpie film (I forget the name) and Freak Accident .

Moving on. Thank God for television.

(applause)

Last year, we had three series pilots developed for other networks - only surpassed by Disney, Warners, Sony, Fox and Paramount. We supplied all of the programming for our own network - MBS.

MBS has now cleared covered in 26% of the country. I know you pissants are saying... 26%? That sucks! Well, I think you suck. How about a little of that? Let me tell you something... your mother didn't hit her numbers either, all right?

We are looking at several of the top 50 markets with a goal of 100% coverage by the end of next year.

David Chang: Khan... You can't--

God damnit! Sit down, David! Mr. Chang and his educated brain doesn't think we can do it.

David Chang: Not even CBS has 100% coverage.

Fuck CBS! Dr. Quinn was the best damn thing they ever did. Sammy Hung's a pussy. Let me just say, I know tonight I'll be watching Manka Hospital Mondays - All new episodes of Suture Squad, Patients Of Job and Hospital Corners. You go ahead and watch suck ass Two And A Half Men, assholes...

No Q and A... That's it. Good-bye.