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MANKA BROS. STUDIOS
MANKA BROS. FILM LIBRARY
2017 Film Slate
2000-2009

Norway 10: Blunt Force Trauma (2000) - Mega blockbuster version of Manka Bros.' 1976 TV hit about ten blonde male Norwegian cops patrolling New York's mean streets. Now they're female and way hot! Tired of the petty crimes occurring in modern day Hell's Kitchen, the babe's get wind of terrorist activity in the New Jersey refineries and head for the turnpike.

Indefatigable (2000) - A man finds himself unable to sleep for several weeks. One night, he discovers there are others just like him, roaming the streets, disinfecting the city while the world lies dormant. Written and directed by Manka's master of creep G. Thad Ubberoth.

Blood Is In The Air (2000) - Horror musical starring Freddy Fingers as Scab-Bats Collins.

The Size Of Golfballs (2000) - Based on the inspiring true story (and Gordon Lightfoot song) of a group of Minnesota landscapers who bravely continue to landscape despite the torrential hailstorm that eventually took their lives.

HIV:III (aka William Shakespeare's HIV:III (2000) - This big budget version of a newly-discovered Shakespeare play in the Manka vaults. William Shakespeare's Henry IV Part III disappeared almost immediately at the box office after failing to find an audience. Those members of the public who weren't scared away by the film's potentially misleading title, nor turned off by its Shakespearean content, nor confused by the absence of any prior Henry I through Henry III films, nor perplexed by the lack of Henry IV's Part I and II, consider this one of the finest films ever produced by the studio.

Magpies And The Berlin Dufflebag (2001) - In 2000, Manka Bros. won an intense bidding war for the film rights to the internationally successful series of Magpie novels by Martin Hagham, about a Newcastle United football team with otherworldly powers. The first story chornicles the recruitment and training of their elite squad, to the first test of their skills when faced with dastardly German financing tycoon.

Life And Shape (2001) - Renowned Modernist architect Richard Neutra's life is completely fictionalized by former Manka Bros. child actor turned director Nickey Moorehead. When Neutra builds a moat around Eric Von Sternberg's Hollywood mansion, he and the legendary silent film director clash over whether or not the water should be electrified.

Siege Of The Hancock (2001) - This film, about Islamic terrorists taking over the tallest residential condo complex in Chicago, had the misfortune of opening in theaters on September 12, 2001. It is the only film ever released in the U.S. not to sell one single ticket. It still stands as Indonesia's biggest box office hit.

The Golf War (2002) - Reactionaries take over the U.N. and make conditions for control over the Middle East. The conditions? Sergio Garcia and David Duval must play 18 holes of "best ball" golf against the world. Operation Enduring Fairway.

The Writer's Journey (2002) - Film based on the popular screenwriting book. In this perfect story, we follow the Hero on his journey.

One Year Off (2002) - The world has made a huge math error: the millennium really begins January 1, 2001. That's when stuff's really going to explode!

Delta Waves (2002) - G. Thad Ubberoth wrote and directed this psychological thriller about a man who falls asleep one night and never wakes up. Eventually, he meets up with a clandestine group that also cannot wake up. Is it all a dream or are they actually awake? Or dead? The enigmatic janitor on the second floor may have the answer.

Morphine (2002) - Former pop sensation Tommy Tutone directed this splashy musical version of Eugene O'Neill's "Long Day's Journey Into Night." [By The time Manka Bros. executives realized they had hired one-hit wonder Tutone instead of Broadway veteran Tommy Tune, the contract had already been signed. Attempts to nullify it proved unsuccessful.]

Magpies And The River Of Paanam (2002) - On a road trip to play the Sardarpura Bulldogs, the Newcastle United Magpies elite crime fighters take on police corruption during the genocide of Gujarat.

The Last Thanksgiving (2003) - Horror film that takes place at an idyllic family Thanksgiving dinner in Stowe, Vermont. [Tagline: You WILL lose your appetite.]

Felons In The Family (2003) - After the childless Andersons decide to adopt eight puppy-faced orphans, they soon discover the kids are all master thieves in this comedic version of "Oliver Twist."

Swamped (2003) - When a volatile greasy spoon waitress is undertipped by four exceedingly attractive south Florida teens, she stalks them through the marshlands, bumping them off one-by-one.

Hard Dollars (2003) - A frank but funny view of the rise of the porn industry in the San Fernando Valley based on the life of Randy Pork.

The Terror Inside Allison Dawson (2003) - Head cheerleader has everything going for her - she's popular, she's smart, she's got a great future. Tehre's only one problem - she's full of an ancient terror that could possibly kill us all.

Baby Got Black (2003) - Michael Rappaport stars in this horrible, horrible movie.

Whores And Peony (2003) - Chang Hu's second Manka Bros. film tells the timeless tale of 17th century Luoyang prostitutes, who escape the brutality of their lives by running through piles of Peony petals in a nearby field. [China's Ethics Board refused to allow this film to be shown in Chinese theaters and demanded that Chang discontinue his relationship with Manka Bros.]

Doubting Thomas: The Movie (2004) - Feature film based on the enormously popular 1980s Manka TV series. Newcomer Cole Fanning (Dakota's 3rd cousin) takes on the role of the boy detective as he investigates the background of the town's new Chief of Police, trusting no one.

Bugger Off! (2004) - The S.C. Johnson company co-financed this computer animated tale of loveable British cockroaches on the run from an insidious can of Raid.

In The Arms Of An Archer (2004) - The sexy, loney business editor for the New York Times falls for an archer in the back woods of Arkansas and goes to live in the woods with him. Based on the Manka Books best-seller "Archer's Way."

Can Of Whup-ass (2005) - Two down-on-their-luck garbage men become the shizzle of their 'hood when they stumble across a magical aluminum can that allows them to dominate the underworld sport of dwarf-tossing.

Trainsgendered (2005) - A boy undergoes surgery to become a locomotive. Based on the Manka Children's Book.

Shaw (2005) - Sadistic old pet store owner lures customers with his cute puppies, then chains them in his dank storeroom, forcing them to listen to him read "Arms And The Man" aloud every night.

Magpies And The Ice Hotel (2005) - In book three, Newcastle United's supernatural finest are summoned to Sweden's Jukkasjarvi village to thwart a band of rebels who are using blowdryers to melt an icehotel at the peak of tourist season. Or is it global warming?

Shaw 2 (2006) - This time, it's "Captain Brassbound's Conversion"... if you don't pay attention, he'll do it in a funny flasetto voice.

First And Gillie (2006) - Romantic comedy set in the cut-throat world of competitive worm charming. A hapless male competitor thinks he's in love with Holland's star female charmer, but he fails to notice the mousy but supportive worm handler he's been teamed with for years.

The Witless Protection Program (2006) - Really dumb guys who crossed the mob are given new identities and watched over by a harried FBI agent.

Code Red (2006) - After a Chinese manned space mission fails, stranding Chinese astronauts on the Moon, America has to decide whether to launch a very risky rescue mission or let them die.

Rampage Of The Stegosaur (2006) - The greatest event in the history of the world is finally brought to the big screen.

 

2000-2009 CONTINUED

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