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Manka Bros. | Satire of the World’s Largest Media Companies & Hollywood History

Tag: Peter Schlessel

Posted on October 2, 2013October 2, 2013

Manka Bros. Would Like To Offer James Schamus A Job

$100 million start up fund, Adam Fogelson, Adam Townsend, Alan Braverman, Alan Greenberg, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Andrew Mooney, Andy Bird, Angela Bromstad, Angeline Straka, Anne Sweeney, Anthea Disney, Anthony G. Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Arthur Martinez, Aylwin Lewis, Barry Diller, Ben Hur, Ben Hur Silverman, Ben Silverman, Beryl Cook, Blythe McGarvie, Bob Greenblatt, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brent Woodford, Broadcast networks are dead, Brooks Barnes, Bruce Gordon, Bryan Lourd, Carl Folta, Charles Gifford, Charles King, Charles Phillips, Chase Carey, Chrstine McCarthy, Craig Smith, David Devoe, David Janollari, David Poltrack, David R. Angelman, David Rosenblatt, Debra Lee, DeDe Lea, Denise White, DiGa, Disney, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Doug Morris, DumbDumb, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Electus Logo, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, Endemol, Ezra Kucharz, Five Stages of Grief, Fortune's 40 under 40, Fred Langhammer, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Gary Ginsberg, Genie Gavenchak, George Abrams, George Bodenheimer, Gil Schwartz, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, IAC, Ike Perlmutter, Jack Horner, James Barge, James Bombassei, James Murdoch, Jason Batement, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jay Leno, Jay Rasulo, Jayne Parker, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeff Zucker's firing, Jeffrey Immelt, Jersey Shore, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John Bryson, John C. Malone, John Chen, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Nallen, John Pepper, Joseph Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Josh Abramson, Jr., Jr. Frederic Salerno, Judith Estrin, Judy McGrath, Julie Henderson, Justin.tv, Kara Swisher, Kevin Mayer, Keynote address, Khan Manka, King World, Lawrence Jacobs, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Liz Gateley, Louis Briskman, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Burnett, Mark Stein, Martin Franks, media analyst, Michael Eisner, Michael Fricklas, Michael Jackson, Michael Regan, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, MIPTV Conference 2010, Monica Lozano, Mt. Kilimanjaro, NBC Universal, New York Times, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Death and Dying, On Medea, OnMedea, Orin Smith, Paul Telegdy, Philippe Dauman, Preston Padden, Reed Nolte, Rich Ross, Richard F. Zannino, Richard M. Jones, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Robert Iger, Robert Kraft, Robert Matschullat, Roger Ailes, Ronald Iden, Rupert Murdoch, Ryan Seacrest, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Shari Redstone, Sharon Waxman, Sheryl Sandberg, Stacey Snider, Stephen McPherson, Steve Jobs, Steve Wadsworth, Sumner Redstone, Susan Arnold, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, The Grill, the Jay Leno Show, The Restaurant, The Situation, The Tonight Show, thewrap.com, Thomas Dooley, Thomas J. McInerney, Thomas Staggs, Tina Brown, Tom Mockridge, Tony DiSanto, Tony Santabarbara, twitter, Van Toffler, Victor Kaufman, Wade Davis, Walter Liss, Will Arnett, William Cohen, William Schwartz, Willow Bay, World's Largest Media Company, World's Largest Media company, Zenia Mucha, Christina Ricci, Girlfriend In A Coma, Bob Greenblatt, Dick Wolf, James Schamus

$100 million start up fund, Adam Fogelson, Adam Townsend, Alan Braverman, Alan Greenberg, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Andrew Mooney, Andy Bird, Angela Bromstad, Angeline Straka, Anne Sweeney, Anthea Disney, Anthony G. Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Arthur Martinez, Aylwin Lewis, Barry Diller, Ben Hur, Ben Hur Silverman, Ben Silverman, Beryl Cook, Blythe McGarvie, Bob Greenblatt, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brent Woodford, Broadcast networks are dead, Brooks Barnes, Bruce Gordon, Bryan Lourd, Carl Folta, Charles Gifford, Charles King, Charles Phillips, Chase Carey, Chrstine McCarthy, Craig Smith, David Devoe, David Janollari, David Poltrack, David R. Angelman, David Rosenblatt, Debra Lee, DeDe Lea, Denise White, DiGa, Disney, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Doug Morris, DumbDumb, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Electus Logo, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, Endemol, Ezra Kucharz, Five Stages of Grief, Fortune's 40 under 40, Fred Langhammer, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Gary Ginsberg, Genie Gavenchak, George Abrams, George Bodenheimer, Gil Schwartz, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, IAC, Ike Perlmutter, Jack Horner, James Barge, James Bombassei, James Murdoch, Jason Batement, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jay Leno, Jay Rasulo, Jayne Parker, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeff Zucker's firing, Jeffrey Immelt, Jersey Shore, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John Bryson, John C. Malone, John Chen, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Nallen, John Pepper, Joseph Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Josh Abramson, Jr., Jr. Frederic Salerno, Judith Estrin, Judy McGrath, Julie Henderson, Justin.tv, Kara Swisher, Kevin Mayer, Keynote address, Khan Manka, King World, Lawrence Jacobs, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Liz Gateley, Louis Briskman, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Burnett, Mark Stein, Martin Franks, media analyst, Michael Eisner, Michael Fricklas, Michael Jackson, Michael Regan, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, MIPTV Conference 2010, Monica Lozano, Mt. Kilimanjaro, NBC Universal, New York Times, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Death and Dying, On Medea, OnMedea, Orin Smith, Paul Telegdy, Philippe Dauman, Preston Padden, Reed Nolte, Rich Ross, Richard F. Zannino, Richard M. Jones, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Robert Iger, Robert Kraft, Robert Matschullat, Roger Ailes, Ronald Iden, Rupert Murdoch, Ryan Seacrest, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Shari Redstone, Sharon Waxman, Sheryl Sandberg, Stacey Snider, Stephen McPherson, Steve Jobs, Steve Wadsworth, Sumner Redstone, Susan Arnold, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, The Grill, the Jay Leno Show, The Restaurant, The Situation, The Tonight Show, thewrap.com, Thomas Dooley, Thomas J. McInerney, Thomas Staggs, Tina Brown, Tom Mockridge, Tony DiSanto, Tony Santabarbara, twitter, Van Toffler, Victor Kaufman, Wade Davis, Walter Liss, Will Arnett, William Cohen, William Schwartz, Willow Bay, World's Largest Media Company, World's Largest Media company, Zenia Mucha, Christina Ricci, Girlfriend In A Coma, Bob Greenblatt, Dick Wolf, James SchamusGood evening from Paris!

I’m here to receive an Award from a French film society for all the Joey Levitch movies Manka Bros. produced over the past 50 years. Holy shit do they love Joey Levitch over here!

I’m also prepping for a keynote address I’m giving next week at MIPCOM in Cannes. I’m thinking of calling the speech “How Did We Fuck It Up?”

But I digresss… and I am drunk.

I see the idiots over at Comcast NBC Universal Procter & Gamble GlaxoSmithKline have fired James Schamus. 

Good move, boneheads. Jimmy Schamus is a class act and this move signals nothing to me other than a plan to completely get out of the specialty business.

Like I said, good move, boneheads. It is possible to make a lot of fucking money without spending a lot of fucking money, morons. Make good movies and audiences will go – period.

I know Universal has been terrible ever since Steven Spielberg left but why are you working so hard to make it worse?

As I said, I am currently drunk, so the following offer is not binding – but Manka Bros. would like to offer the fantastic James Schamus a job.

We have many excellent, award-winning film labels at Manka Bros. – including Manka Bros. Films, Manka Highbrow, Manka Dogme, Manka Docs, Manka Shorts and the coming soon Manka Mumblecore (really excited about that one even though I don’t understand what it is).

If you’re tired of working in the movie business, maybe you could take a whack at our Theme Park business. We’re having some real issues with our Manka Fun Park in Yemen.

Anyway, I’m going to pass out now.

James, please accept or deny this offer with my assistant, Vicky Adler-Modry.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company

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About Khan Manka, Jr.

Khan Manka, Jr. assumed the title of Chairman & CEO of Manka Bros. Studios following his father Harry Manka's death in 1976.

Before that he was the member of several Southern California rock bands.

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