Behind The Proscenium – Manka Faith's God Blog

February 26, 2019July 23, 2019

MankaGoNow To Feature So Much Manka Faith!

Behind The Proscenium, Ben Silverman, biggest budget movie, Bill Hybels, Bob Coy, Book of Habakkuk, Book of Judges, Broadway Manka, Calvary Chapel, Dave Stone, Dennis Rodman, Experimental Theater, Faith-Based, Frank Rich, Gina Grass, Grace Note Records, Hebrew Bible, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joel Osteen, Katy Perry, Khan Manka, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Lakewood Church, Lil' Wayne, Manka Bros., Manka Faith, New Testament, NOW Testament, Old Testament, Oral Roberts, Original Sinema, Pat Robertson, Promised Land, Rick Warren, Ricky Van Veen, Robert Schuler, Robin Rafe, Rupert Murdoch, Saddleback Church, Samuel Beckett, Shelly MacDonald, Southeast Christian Church, Strauss Zelnick, Sumner Redstone, Superman Returns, Tae Kwon Doug, Terry Semel, The Book Of Judges, The Lord Of The Rings, Tween Jesus n Me, Willow Creek Community Church, World's Largest Media Company

Greetings greetings greetings!

We are so excited here at our “slightly” off the studio lot, very humble offices of Manka Faith.

Our offices may be plain and underfunded (and, frankly, freezing) but we are still the World’s Largest Faith-Based entertainment group (inside the World’s Largest Media Company).

After the recent announcement that Manka Bros. is producing OVER 400 NEW SERIES for the MankaGoNow over-the-top service, Manka Faith is ramping up production, basically quadrupling our content output!

IT’S CRAZY OVER HERE!!!

So much new Jesus shit coming your way (and, to be fair, some Jewish and Hindu stuff, too)!

I’m most excited for the fans… of religion… of goodness… of hope in this world.

It’s a great time to be a person with faith.

This is just a quick update for our Manka Faith God Blog fans (and there are many) of what new content we’ll be producing for the new MankaGoNow service (only $34.99 a month!).

The new Manka Faith content includes:

Christian Lions (animated series, faith): Manka Faith inspirational children’s series about Lion missionaries bringing the word of Christ to other animals.
The Death Of Jesus (documentary, faith): Manka Faith sends a documentary crew to the Middle East to find out what really happened to Jesus – and they really found out.
Penny’s From Heaven (multi-year series, faith): Manka Faith’s blatant rip-off of “Touched By An Angel.”
New Bible – Fixing The New Testament (reality series, faith): There’s a new Jesus with a new Bible with new Apostles and they’ve written a new Bible. This series tells you everything that changed from the old Bible and what we can expect when the world ends.
In The Pew (reality series, faith): Every week, in the pew, Manka Faith brings you the latest from the world of religion. We’ll have interviews with Catholics, Lutherans, Presbyterians… and all the rest.
Devoutrageous! (multi-year series, faith): You gotta feel it, people! Get up! Get up! The world’s biggest mega-church has pull-up bars above every pew and a tight ass funk band to fire up the crowd. My God, if Jesus don’t exist at least we’ll all be in shape when we die!
Rapture Checkers (multi-year series, faith): Ten percent of those taken in the rapture was a mistake. This squad of “rapture checkers” investigate if the right ones were taken and drag back to Earth the ones that shouldn’t have gone.
God? (reality series, faith): Manka Faith interviews victims of accidents, robberies, and horrible health issues who share their views on the existence of God. [Bottom line: they ain’t a fan.]
Jesus V Mohammed (reality series, competition, faith): It’s a battle to the finish. The true Messiah will be revealed at the end of the season.

We’re even supporting a series from our atheist friends that is not produced by us because… #inclusion.

Jonah & The Whale And Other Bullshit Stories About Bullshit (limited series, anti-faith): No God Productions (NOT affiliated with Manka Faith – but we are open minded so here’s the promotion) presents this nice alternative world (for our atheist subscribers).

So you can see why we’re so excited!

#Excited!

All this new production is on top of the films and shows we are already producing – which include our $300 million film adaptation of “The Book Of Habakkuk” which should begin production… soon.

The “Tween Jesus N’ Me” 2019 Stadium Tour…

And so much more. Watch this space!

Josh – Manka Faith’s Summer Intern (Now Full-Time, Ho!)

August 18, 2016December 18, 2018

Ben-Hur [Review]

Ben-Hur

Reviewed by Josh (Manka Faith’s summer intern)

If you can see just one more movie before you die, see “Ben-Hur!”

Are you seriously going to make “War Dogs” the last movie you see before you die?

No, I didn’t think so.

THIS MOVIE HAS IT ALL.

And by “it all,” I mean, IT ALL! Love, religion, chariot races, sand, camels, hot chicks, Egyptians, Romans, Jews – bald dudes wearing jewelry, Morgan Freeman.

It’s like “Fast & Furious” times 30.

See it, die… repeat.

Or as Judah Ben-Hur says in the trailer: “Bitch, you should have killed me.”

Manka Faith’s summer intern (Josh)

February 28, 2014July 24, 2015

Son Of God [REVIEW]

Son Of God

With Wit, Reviewed By Behind The Proscenium’s Kimmo Mustonenen

There are things beyond our seeing.

Understanding is the impossible.

But they are real.

Really.

Some are good (Casper The Friendly Ghost, Caspar in Finland).

Some are not (Magneto).

Some are old (Dracula).

Some are new (Dr. Manhattan).

But all real super-duper people have to come from somewhere with the origin story.

Even the “Son of God.”

For an origin story, it is not too original.

This was on my TV in before times, I am sure of it.

Yes, I drink. Yes, I smoke the sweet, sweet smoke. I am forgetting things.

But this was on my TV – but with more longer. On the History Channel.

And President Obama was, in it, as the Satan. He is not in “Son of God” that I have seen.

Am I crazy? Am I victimized by mind tricks?

No.

Thank God (not his son, but Odin) for press kit. I read and am relieved.

“Son of God” is last part of “The Bible“ – the same!

Yet very different.

Plot? Well… yes.

The earth starts.

Then a bunch of crap happens, very fast.

Then story. The Virgin Mary (Leila Mimmack) gets knocked up, and in panicking says “God did it! I am no slut but a virgin!” (not in movie was this said, but in real life – disclaimer: I was not there, but I know things).

Then Baby Jesus, Son of God! He grows to a manhood in a blinking eye.

And everyone in the Middle East is from Europe. Cool.

Super handsome Jesus model (Dioga Morgado) is awesome-er than any Son of God that came before (per the film).

He does magic.

He (maybe) does Mary Magdalene (Amber Rose Revah). Who wouldn’t?

He does big talk (“I will change the world!”)

He does bigger magic (raising the dead – suck it Penn and Teller!!!).

He pisses off the powerful (various old Jewish guys, but not in real life). They are so mad that they nail him to the wood. And spear him in the side.

Then it is nothing but death.

The Romans do the last three sentences. Not the Jews. Back off, Nazis.

But wait. More to be.

Jesus wakes up from dead!

Freaking out is the only option for Jerusalem, and so the freaking happens – with nice light and background orchestra.

Then The Jesus gets the heck out of Dodge, never to be seen again.

So. Two confused thumbs, afraid of the Walking Dead. Jesus story was longer on my television, and now you are to pay to see it shorter on bigger screen with expensive mouth treats.

Hmmm. Maybe worth it, maybe not.

There have been better super hero origin stories. And the villains are the suck.

Old Jews are not scaring anyone, and they have no super powers. Except in Hollywood. Those old Jews fill the fear in any living person.

Old Hollywood Jews, if I have offended you my sorry is bigger than any other sorrys. Sorry.

Watch “The Bible” on Netflix. Longer, but you get Obama Satan.

What more is ever wanted?

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. Finland 5, U.S. 0. The bronze medal is pretty. Hey America hockey, would you like one? Really? Too bad, losers. Kossu shots for all (especially my good friends of Old Hollywood Jews)!!!

October 26, 2011January 5, 2012

Manka Bros. Is The Owner of Manka Faith AND Behind The Proscenium

Manka Bros. supports both of these excellent businesses.

We encourage healthy debate amongst our divisions but don’t support boycotts of any of our businesses.

Please go see My God Is Better Than Your God starring Gina Grass at the Manka Open Mike and continue to read Behind The Proscenium.

Please buy Praise Bop from Grace Note Records featuring Tween Jesus & Me, Shyna Light, and Shelly MacDonald Featuring Promised Land.

These are all great products and we are proud to have them in the Manka Bros. Studios family.

Lloyd Grohl – President & COO – Manka Bros. Studios
(dictated but not read)