Jeff Gaspin – What The Hell Was That?

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, CBS, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Marc Graboff, Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stop all the clocks..., TCA Winter Press Tour, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorThe Jay Leno Show cancellation announcement by Jeff GaspinChairman NBC Entertainment – was handled in just about the worst way possible. It should have so simple: Announce the news; admit it was mistake and talk about the exciting changes to come. That’s it.

Instead, Jeff Gaspin’s announcement at the TCA Winter Press Tour was a stunning display on how not to do something. He was defensive (even blaming other parts of the company) and basically said he didn’t really know what they were going to do next.

Let’s break down the key quotes:

Gaspin: “I would have liked nothing more than to give this (The Jay Leno Show) a 52-week try.” (You’re the freakin’ Chairman of NBC Entertainment – don’t you have the power to give it a try for as long you’d like no matter who is against it? Especially if you would have ‘liked nothing more’?

Gaspin: “This was not an issue for the network…” (No, of course not, NBC kicks ass! Fourth place ass. But it still kicks ass!)

Gaspin: “… it was an issue for our affiliates.” (That’s it, blame another part of your company. One great leadership trait is knowing whom should be blamed in a time of crisis.)

Gaspin: “We were making money at 10 p.m. I think, over time, (‘Leno’s’ ratings) might have started to grow. For the network, it was not yet a wrong decision.” (You really went out on a limb on that one. ‘It was not yet a wrong decision?’ What the fuck is that? Come on, Jeff, just say ‘Yes, it was the wrong decision. We failed but we’re going to fix it.’ The culture at NBC has got to change. When the Chairman of the company is afraid of accountability, what hope is there for the rest of the executive team?)

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, Brian Roberts, CBS, Comcast, Conan O'Brien, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, GE shareholder, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Jimmy Fallon, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Marc Graboff, Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stop all the clocks..., TCA Winter Press Tour, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorSo, Jeff, was “Leno” a mistake?

Gaspin: “I don’t think it’s wrong to take chances. We might have been too early on this one.” (Ah, I see… you’re just ahead of your time. The world is not ready for the bold programming choices coming from NBC. The world is not ready for a powder puff monologue followed by lame celebrity interviews at 10pm. Fight on, lone ranger, one day the world will catch up to your vision.)

You want to know how to avoid a “PR Issue”, Jeff – nut-up and take the blame for a mistake. Obviously, your boss Jeff Zucker is too much of a wimp to acknowledge failure. As I said in October, it’s a stupid TV show that didn’t work – it’s not that big of a deal. It was a programming choice that didn’t work. Simple as that.

Now, get out there and make the best “Law & Order” spin-off that you can.

Godspeed, Jeff Gaspin.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Jeff Zucker – It’s Time To Suck It Up

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, CBS, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stop all the clocks..., Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorOK, Jeff, it’s time for you to man-up, nut-up, suck-it-up, eat-it (all those things) and fix this late night issue before it becomes even more of a train wreck.

It’s very simple:

  • Fire Conan O’Brien and give him all the compensation he is owed as part of a separation deal.  (Don’t be a pussy, Jeff, let Conan go to Fox or ABC (or wherever) and pull in an average 2.3/5 share.  Who cares?);
  • Re-install Jay at 11:35 on The Tonight Show and be done with it.  (Jay will quickly become the late night King again because my grandmother “really likes those headlines”);
  • Find some old Law & Order’s laying around that you can air until you develop a couple of decent shows.

Yes, you may have to deal with a couple of months of bad press (“NBC Screwed Conan”… “Jay Not The Right Man”… “Jeff Zucker Sucks At His Job”… etc.) but it will pass and things will be back to where they were last May (with NBC in fourth place – but not late night).  It will all be like a horrible dream and we’ll all wake up with Bobby Ewing in the shower.

But these steps need to be taken immediately. In order to save you some time, I’ve drafted your opening comments at the press conference that you should have this afternoon:

“Good afternoon.  Thank you for coming.  [Insert Nikki Finke joke here – something about her always being prompt and in the front row.] I’d like to take a few moments to discuss our line-up of new dramas at 10pm which will premiere after The Vancouver Olympics.  Just kidding – we don’t even have a fucking pilot!

No, I’m here to discuss The Jay Leno Show situation.

[cameras clicking – reporters jostling for position]

Last year, I made a horrible mistake.  Ben Silverman actually made the mistake… but I digress.

For some asinine reason, we thought we could put Jay Leno on at 10pm and people would actually watch it.  I thought our affiliates would be so happy to have a topical program hosted by one of America’s most beloved comedians as a lead in to their local news.

I was way fucking wrong on that assumption.

It could have been worse.  I could have announced that we were merging with AOL or that I had re-hired Ben Silverman to run the network.

So… in order to make things right.  I am officially reinstating Jay Leno to The Tonight Show and have paid off the remainder of Conan O’Brien’s contract so that he may pursue other opportunities at other networks.  Conan was a great asset to NBC and a huge talent and we wish him nothing but the best – but we’ve decided to go back to Jay at 11:35.

Anyone who has an drama series ideas or any pilots in the can, please have them delivered to Angela Bromstad’s house immediately.

I will now take your questions.”

Do it, Jeff.  It’s not too late to fix things.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

The Jay Leno Show – R.I.P.

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, CBS, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stop all the clocks..., Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris Endeavor

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, CBS, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stop all the clocks..., Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorStop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message The Jay Leno Show is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

Jay at 10pm was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that show would last forever:  I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now:  put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

W.H. Auden

——————————————————————–
Yes, Ben Silverman and Jeff Zucker really changed the future of television.  Actually, no… they didn’t.  They didn’t at all.

After all the bravado and presentations.. all the parties and press conferences with claims of blowing up business models and television never being the same… what do we have left?  Jay Leno on The Tonight Show at 11:30 and scripted dramas at 10pm.

It’s now up to Ben Silverman’s Electus to change the world.  Come on, Ben, you can do it – put down the blonde and get to work.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Southland Canceled – Ben Silverman Strikes Again

America's Got Talent, Angela Amato, Angela Bromstad, Ann Biderman, Ari Emanuel, Arija Bareikis, Ben McKenzie, Ben Silverman, C. Thomas Howell, Dee Johnson, Dick Wolf, Emily Bergl, Heather Zuhlke, Heroes, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, John Ferriter, John Wells, Kevin Alejandro, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Mercy, Michael Cudlitz, Michael McGrady, NBC Universal, Paul Telegdy, Regina King, Shawn Hatosy, Southland, Southland canceled, Susan Boyle, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, The Jay Leno Show, Tom Everett Scott, Trauma, Warner Bros. TelevisionFrom the executive grave, Ben Silverman has struck again.  Southland, the once promising (for one episode) gritty cop show has been canceled (before its season premiere!).

Another day – another failed show.  NBC is in big troubleMercy, Trauma, Heroes – all cancellations to come.

NBC had better start super-sizing episodes of The Office ASAP.

Also, maybe think about putting together a few hours of The Biggest Loser Outtakes.  Are there any extra Law & Orders laying around?  Somebody should get Dick Wolf on the phone.  That might work for a week or two.

Hey, America’s (Still) Got Talent – get the cameras rolling!  Or just show re-runs of Susan Boyle from Britain’s Got Talent.  How about that sand artist from Ukraine’s Got Talent?  Something is bound to work.  Right?

Thank God The Jay Leno Show only needs a 1.5 rating to make $300 million!

This has been an extremely challenging year for NBC so far – and it’s only October 8th.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

The Jay Leno Show Has Failed

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, CBS, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorBased on last night’s overnight ratings (September 30, 2009:  4.1/7), the above headline is what nearly every television production executive is screaming down the halls today (with the exception of those at NBC Universal.  They’re probably screaming something like… Will Comcast contribute to my 401K?  What happens to our stock options?, etc.).

Now, a 4.1/7 is a grand slam on The CW.  If every show on The CW got a 4.1/7, Dawn Ostroff (President) would be carried around on one of those Cleopatra-type chairs.  However, this is NBC and this is Jay Leno.  We’ve heard from stories past (lies in my opinion), that Jay only needs to “get a 1.5 rating (A18-49) to make $300 million a year for NBC”.  So a 4.1/7 is comfortably in that range – but still pathetic based on pre-season expectations.

However, there is a way that NBC can save face in the middle of this debacle.  They don’t even need to cancel The Jay Leno Show (why would you when you’re making that kind of bank?  I’m sure Comcast will do a complete audit in due-diligence – so one day we’ll know for sure).

Here’s what you do, NBC: BUY BILLBOARDS strategically-positioned around every major television production facility (as demonstrated below).  Every week, update the profit number of The Jay Leno Show and then put a tag at the bottom that reads something like:  “Hey TV Execs, how are your fall shows doing?  Throwing Off Any Cash?”

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, CBS, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorThis would bring home the fact that The Jay Leno Show HAS NOT FAILED.  It might just stop this town from obsessing over ratings and fucking market share.  Ask The Food Network about their profits?  I think they’ll tell you they’re doing just fine.  And when was the last time they got even a 1.0/3 share?  It means nothing.

But, NBC, you have lost the PR war and it’s time to fight back.  Forget trying to put TV stars from other networks on with JayJay is about movie stars and pop icons.  Fuck Julianna Margulies, Jay.  You don’t need her or her TV friends and complaining in the media about it makes you look like a pussy (even more so).

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – I have nothing against Julianna Margulies.  Big fan.  She’s just F-ed by example.

John Ferriter and The Jay Leno Show

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, CBS, CSI: NY, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, Warner Bros., William Morris Endeavor

So, earlier today, I said that Leno’s 4.5/8 share was a disaster for NBC and they should start to think about living in a post-Leno world.

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, CBS, CSI: NY, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorBut I was just made aware of a statement by John Ferriter (head of WME’s Non-Scripted Department) at the Producers Caucus Panel that all Jay Leno needed to get was a 1.5 share (A18-49) in order to make NBC $300 million.

WHAT THE FUCK?!

Now by “make” I don’t know if he means revenue (which doesn’t make it a crazy statement) or profit (which makes it a crazy statement).  Either way – it’s bullshit and I don’t believe it.

If this was true, why wouldn’t every network do it?  Why wouldn’t Jeff Zucker be screaming it from the rooftops to Wall Street?  Gossip Girl gets a 1.5 rating and The CW doesn’t make shit.  I know… I know… it’s not apples-to-apples – but it’s still bullshit.

I started to wonder why John Ferriter would take such a bold stand and why does he really care?  Then I found the above picture of Mr. Ferriter with my old friend Ben Silverman in Vegas and it all made sense.

Seems to me Mr. Ferriter is just defending his friends’ crazy business model.  Ben has dated quite a few crazy business models in the past – but none so bold and insane as the one that makes $300 million for 1.5 rating.  Now that’s one hot model!

Why would NBC let such a genius get away?

So, according to my math, a 4.5/8 share should “make” NBC around $900 million.

Jesus Christ!  The Broadcast Network business is a great business!

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

OH NO – Jay Leno’s Ratings Last Night – 4.5/8

Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Deadline Hollywood, Grace Kelly, Gregorian Calendar, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., National Cream Filled Donut Day, NBC, NFL Monday Night Football, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The Jay Leno Show, thewrap.com, Tony Disanto

Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Deadline Hollywood, Grace Kelly, Gregorian Calendar, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., National Cream Filled Donut Day, NBC, NFL Monday Night Football, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The Jay Leno Show, thewrap.com, Tony DisantoSorry, Jay.  The competition is only going to get tougher (just wait until you hit first-run episodes of those Thursday night dramas).

I hate for you to fail.  You’re such a likable guy.  But I LOVE that Ben Silverman is failing (failing upwards, I suppose, but still failing!).

It’s a real conundrum.

Good luck tonight against CSI: NY on CBS and Eastwick on ABC. Okay, you might do fine against Eastwick – maybe even a 4.7/9 share!  Whoopee!

It may be time to get OctoMom and Kate Gosselin in some sort of a wresting match – because only stunts like that can help you now.

[Note to Angela Bromstad and Paul Telegdy at NBC: You may want to contact Dick Wolf to get some more Law & Order iterations going.  Also, call Peter Roth over at Warner Bros. to see how long it might take to rebuild the ER set.]

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea