Jeff Immelt, Brian Roberts: Jeff Zucker Has Got To Go
Anderson Cooper In Haiti
There’s a certain comfort I get whenever I see Anderson Cooper parachute or helicopter into a disaster zone. You just get the feeling that he’ll be the first in and last out on the story.
He’ll report the news 24 hours a day in a tight black t-shirt and not hesitate to dive into a search and rescue operation.
This is an cataclysmic, absolutely horrific tragedy on par with the Asian tsunami in 2004. Jay Leno / Jeff Gaspin / Jeff Zucker / Ben Silverman news seems completely ridiculous and unimportant at this time (though I’m sure it will return soon enough).
I’ll be curious to see how much time Fox News devotes to this story. Hopefully their only source won’t be Pat Robertson. You can just tell they are itching to dump this “earthquake story” and get back to bashing President Obama’s health care plan.
Jill Kennedy – OnMedea
Peter Sarsgaard – Green Lantern Villain – Who Cares!?
OK geeks. Time to go outside for a little air.
I just noticed that the current most popular item on Digg is a story about Peter Sarsgaard possibly being cast as the villain in next year’s Green Lantern movie.
WHO GIVES A FUCK?! Jesus Christ, seriously, with the unimaginably horrific tragedy unfolding in Haiti, who cares about who will play the villain in The Green Lantern?!
Sure, he’s a fine actor. I’m sure he’ll be good in the part. BUT WHO CARES?! Please don’t spend the valuable time you have remaining in your lives “DIGGING” stories like this.
Here’s how this story should be discussed:
TWEET: Peter Sarsgaard may play the villain in “The Green Lantern” movie?
RESPONSE: Cool.
End of story.
Jill Kennedy – OnMedea
Jeff Gaspin – What The Hell Was That?
The Jay Leno Show cancellation announcement by Jeff Gaspin – Chairman NBC Entertainment – was handled in just about the worst way possible. It should have so simple: Announce the news; admit it was mistake and talk about the exciting changes to come. That’s it.
Instead, Jeff Gaspin’s announcement at the TCA Winter Press Tour was a stunning display on how not to do something. He was defensive (even blaming other parts of the company) and basically said he didn’t really know what they were going to do next.
Let’s break down the key quotes:
Gaspin: “I would have liked nothing more than to give this (The Jay Leno Show) a 52-week try.” (You’re the freakin’ Chairman of NBC Entertainment – don’t you have the power to give it a try for as long you’d like no matter who is against it? Especially if you would have ‘liked nothing more’?
Gaspin: “This was not an issue for the network…” (No, of course not, NBC kicks ass! Fourth place ass. But it still kicks ass!)
Gaspin: “… it was an issue for our affiliates.” (That’s it, blame another part of your company. One great leadership trait is knowing whom should be blamed in a time of crisis.)
Gaspin: “We were making money at 10 p.m. I think, over time, (‘Leno’s’ ratings) might have started to grow. For the network, it was not yet a wrong decision.” (You really went out on a limb on that one. ‘It was not yet a wrong decision?’ What the fuck is that? Come on, Jeff, just say ‘Yes, it was the wrong decision. We failed but we’re going to fix it.’ The culture at NBC has got to change. When the Chairman of the company is afraid of accountability, what hope is there for the rest of the executive team?)
So, Jeff, was “Leno” a mistake?
Gaspin: “I don’t think it’s wrong to take chances. We might have been too early on this one.” (Ah, I see… you’re just ahead of your time. The world is not ready for the bold programming choices coming from NBC. The world is not ready for a powder puff monologue followed by lame celebrity interviews at 10pm. Fight on, lone ranger, one day the world will catch up to your vision.)
You want to know how to avoid a “PR Issue”, Jeff – nut-up and take the blame for a mistake. Obviously, your boss Jeff Zucker is too much of a wimp to acknowledge failure. As I said in October, it’s a stupid TV show that didn’t work – it’s not that big of a deal. It was a programming choice that didn’t work. Simple as that.
Now, get out there and make the best “Law & Order” spin-off that you can.
Godspeed, Jeff Gaspin.
Jill Kennedy – OnMedea
American Idol – R.I.P.
Another iconic American television show is dead.
Simon Cowell (with impeccable timing as always) announced today at the Television Critics Association winter press tour he has decided to leave American Idol to become creator/producer/judge of the American version of his hit UK talent show The X Factor. That show will launch in 2011 on Fox.
Simon has realized (along with the rest of the country) that American Idol has become irrelevant and knew it was time to move on.
A word of advice to Simon Fuller and the producers of American Idol… make this season your last. Don’t attempt some lame version of A.I. without Simon Cowell. It won’t work and people won’t watch.
Jill Kennedy – OnMedea
Ben Silverman’s DumbDumb Deal
Yes, this deal is as DumbDumb as you can get.
How to build a successful startup: Step #1 – Use Barry Diller’s money to fund a vanity production label with a friend from high school.
Yes, Jason Bateman and Will Arnett (in particular) are talented guys but anyone who thinks they will spend any real time on this venture is out of their minds.
Sure, we’ll get the standard Will Ferrell-type Funny of Die videos of Bateman and Arnett walking around with a steady-cam eating Doritos and improvising about how easy this internet stuff is – but will anything of value come out of DumbDumb?
Ben Silverman knows the answer to this and laughs at how DumbDumb some people must be.
I would imagine Barry Diller also knows the answer. Unfortunately, he’s the ultimate DumbDumb in this equation for funding Electus in the first place.
But for now… it’s all just so exciting. I know I’m just a cockeyed optimist, but I just can’t wait for Ben to change the world again. And I’m super glad that they took the time out of the arduous process of building the successful DumbDumb business model to appear in Las Vegas for the announcement (along with the awesomely hilarious Notional CEO Lord Ricky Van Veen).
I just hope it’s not the same business model that Ben Silverman developed for Electus: Spend $100 million on the development (but not the execution) of digital content and when that money is gone – launch another start-up with another sugar daddy.
Jill Kennedy – OnMedea
Jeff Zucker – It’s Time To Suck It Up
OK, Jeff, it’s time for you to man-up, nut-up, suck-it-up, eat-it (all those things) and fix this late night issue before it becomes even more of a train wreck.
It’s very simple:
- Fire Conan O’Brien and give him all the compensation he is owed as part of a separation deal. (Don’t be a pussy, Jeff, let Conan go to Fox or ABC (or wherever) and pull in an average 2.3/5 share. Who cares?);
- Re-install Jay at 11:35 on The Tonight Show and be done with it. (Jay will quickly become the late night King again because my grandmother “really likes those headlines”);
- Find some old Law & Order’s laying around that you can air until you develop a couple of decent shows.
Yes, you may have to deal with a couple of months of bad press (“NBC Screwed Conan”… “Jay Not The Right Man”… “Jeff Zucker Sucks At His Job”… etc.) but it will pass and things will be back to where they were last May (with NBC in fourth place – but not late night). It will all be like a horrible dream and we’ll all wake up with Bobby Ewing in the shower.
But these steps need to be taken immediately. In order to save you some time, I’ve drafted your opening comments at the press conference that you should have this afternoon:
“Good afternoon. Thank you for coming. [Insert Nikki Finke joke here – something about her always being prompt and in the front row.] I’d like to take a few moments to discuss our line-up of new dramas at 10pm which will premiere after The Vancouver Olympics. Just kidding – we don’t even have a fucking pilot!
No, I’m here to discuss The Jay Leno Show situation.
[cameras clicking – reporters jostling for position]
Last year, I made a horrible mistake. Ben Silverman actually made the mistake… but I digress.
For some asinine reason, we thought we could put Jay Leno on at 10pm and people would actually watch it. I thought our affiliates would be so happy to have a topical program hosted by one of America’s most beloved comedians as a lead in to their local news.
I was way fucking wrong on that assumption.
It could have been worse. I could have announced that we were merging with AOL or that I had re-hired Ben Silverman to run the network.
So… in order to make things right. I am officially reinstating Jay Leno to The Tonight Show and have paid off the remainder of Conan O’Brien’s contract so that he may pursue other opportunities at other networks. Conan was a great asset to NBC and a huge talent and we wish him nothing but the best – but we’ve decided to go back to Jay at 11:35.
Anyone who has an drama series ideas or any pilots in the can, please have them delivered to Angela Bromstad’s house immediately.
I will now take your questions.”
Do it, Jeff. It’s not too late to fix things.
Jill Kennedy – OnMedea
The Jay Leno Show – R.I.P.
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message The Jay Leno Show is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
Jay at 10pm was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that show would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
W.H. Auden
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Yes, Ben Silverman and Jeff Zucker really changed the future of television. Actually, no… they didn’t. They didn’t at all.
After all the bravado and presentations.. all the parties and press conferences with claims of blowing up business models and television never being the same… what do we have left? Jay Leno on The Tonight Show at 11:30 and scripted dramas at 10pm.
It’s now up to Ben Silverman’s Electus to change the world. Come on, Ben, you can do it – put down the blonde and get to work.
Jill Kennedy – OnMedea
Xfinity – R.I.P.
Yesterday, I told Comcast to dump Fancast and embrace Hulu.
Today, we learn that Comcast has decided to change the name of Fancast to FancastXfinity or just Xfinity.
Horrible – horrible name.
No one will use it.
Xfinity is dead.
As I said yesterday to Comcast (and say again today), dump Fancast (Xfinity) and embrace Hulu. You might as well get some benefit from this disastrous acquisition of NBC Universal.
All other confusing video watching sites owned by Comcast (currently running or in development) must be destroyed.
While on the subject of Comcast NBC Universal, my boss, Khan Manka, Jr., had a truly bizarre conversation with Comcast CEO Brian Roberts last night. I’m still trying to make sense of it. Check it out here.
Jill Kennedy – OnMedea
Comcast Should Dump Fancast, Embrace Hulu
Here’s why:
“OPTION 1: SWITCH TO ANOTHER BROWSER?”
What is my five-year-old daughter and my 90-year-old grandmother supposed to do with that?!
When I go to Hulu, I get no prompt that says (in so many words) “MY MACHINE IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO FOR THIS WEBSITE!” – it just plays the videos I want to watch. That’s it. No downloads. No waiting. No rebooting.
I’m sure Fancast has a lot of good stuff on it, but enough with the “download this player” and “update your browser” and all that crap we have had to endure for the past 10 years. You’ve made me feel outdated and behind-the-times for too long. Now I realize it was all bullshit.
Now that Comcast owns Fancast AND Hulu (1/3 of it), it’s time to dump the one that sucks.
Sorry Fancast.
Jill Kennedy – OnMedea