Letterman vs. Leno

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, Brian Roberts, CBS, Charlie Rose, Comcast, Conan O'Brien, CSI: NY, David Letterman, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, GE shareholder, George Lopez, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, John Ferriter, Jon Stewart, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., Marc Graboff, Nancy Tellum, Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stephen Colbert, Stop all the clocks..., TCA Winter Press Tour, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, Brian Roberts, CBS, Charlie Rose, Comcast, Conan O'Brien, CSI: NY, David Letterman, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, GE shareholder, George Lopez, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, John Ferriter, Jon Stewart, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., Marc Graboff, Nancy Tellum, Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stephen Colbert, Stop all the clocks..., TCA Winter Press Tour, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorThe Conan exit deal is done – probably the largest payout in television history for someone averaging a 2.5 rating.

It is presumed he will go to Fox and get a 2.0 rating at 11:00 (my guess is reruns of The Simpsons on local affiliates do better than that).

So, with apologies to Jimmy Kimmel, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, George Lopez, Charlie Rose, etc., it comes down, once again, to Letterman vs. Leno.

Who will win the ratings battle (long-term) once they resume head-to-head competition March 1, 2010?

It’s very simple:
Jay Leno wins – without a doubt.

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, Brian Roberts, CBS, Charlie Rose, Comcast, Conan O'Brien, CSI: NY, David Letterman, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, GE shareholder, George Lopez, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, John Ferriter, Jon Stewart, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., Marc Graboff, Nancy Tellum, Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stephen Colbert, Stop all the clocks..., TCA Winter Press Tour, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorHere’s why:

DEMOGRAPHICS: Late night talk show viewers are not the Taco-Bell-eating slacker college students that most of these hosts think they’re ‘in touch with’.  That demo is watching The Daily Show, Colbert, Adult Swim or they’re online or playing video games (maybe they’re not consuming any media and are out pounding drinks and, God willing, conversing with the opposite sex).  So, older viewers are watching Jay and Dave – and older viewers prefer Jay.  It’s warm and safe television with Headlines and JaywalkingDave is ‘too edgy’ for older America, even in his advanced years.

VACATION: Jay is notorious for working 46-48 weeks a year.  Dave works… less than that.  Even if Dave wins the first few weeks after Jay returns in March (as expected), Jay will pick up viewers once Dave goes on his first long vacation.

WORK ETHIC: While I am not doubting that Dave works very hard to put on his show four nights a week, Jay is indefatigable.  He always seems to be out with the public, doing stand-up, corporate events, car shows… almost anything the network asks him to do.  Jay has a high visibility factor that Dave… doesn’t have.  (Not that you need that to succeed – Johnny Carson was a painfully shy recluse and did just fine.)  However, when you’re trying to win back the hearts and minds of your viewers, being visible with “your public” can go a long way.

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, Brian Roberts, CBS, Charlie Rose, Comcast, Conan O'Brien, CSI: NY, David Letterman, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, GE shareholder, George Lopez, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, John Ferriter, Jon Stewart, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., Marc Graboff, Nancy Tellum, Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stephen Colbert, Stop all the clocks..., TCA Winter Press Tour, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorHISTORY: Jay Leno has been a consistent ratings winner for 17 years.  Yes, bad press and public sentiment has damaged that but most of Jay’s fans could care less about ‘The Tonight Show’ debacle (though, I think everyone would love to see Jeff Zucker get fired).

Finally, Jay spent 20 years in comedy clubs across the country before getting ‘The Tonight Show’ and he cut his teeth in that ruthless, back-stabbing world.  If he survived the shit that went on in those clubs, he can survive almost anything.

Dave did quite a bit of stand-up in the 1970s, yes, but never really immersed himself into that world.  Being a great comic was not on his radar.  He has always been perceived (as he wished) as a TV guy.

Jay is a comic first and a TV guy next – which is why his fans keep watching – they simply want to hear jokes on ‘The Tonight Show’ told by a comic and not just a “funny person” doing bits.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – Where were all these new Conan fans when he really needed them – over the summer when he started hosting The Tonight Show?  If he had the ratings then that he has now – there is no controversy.  Jay would be out and Conan would be in.

The Human Target – Internet Advertising Gone Wrong

Allison Warren, AOL, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Brad Kern, Chi McBride, DC Comics, Fox Broadcasting, Grace Gilroy, inappropriate online advertising, Jackie Earle Haley, Jay Leno, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Jonathan Steinberg, Kevin Hooks, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Mark Valley, Matthew Federman, McG, Mike Desabrais, missing college students in Haiti, OnMedea, Peter Johnson, Simon West, Stephen Scaia, Terry Semel, The Human Target, Tim Armstrong

A couple of moments ago, I went to AOL.com to see what fresh content they had put up today and was greeted with a heartbreaking headline about four missing American college students in Haiti who were on a humanitarian mission when the earthquake struck last week.

Allison Warren, AOL, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Brad Kern, Chi McBride, DC Comics, Fox Broadcasting, Grace Gilroy, inappropriate online advertising, Jackie Earle Haley, Jay Leno, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Jonathan Steinberg, Kevin Hooks, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Mark Valley, Matthew Federman, McG, Mike Desabrais, missing college students in Haiti, OnMedea, Peter Johnson, Simon West, Stephen Scaia, Terry Semel, The Human Target, Tim Armstrong

Then, just as I was going to click-through to read about the parents’ anguished search for their children… The Human Target – Premiering On Fox – burst through the story headline with digital flames and bullet holes.

Allison Warren, AOL, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Brad Kern, Chi McBride, DC Comics, Fox Broadcasting, Grace Gilroy, inappropriate online advertising, Jackie Earle Haley, Jay Leno, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Jonathan Steinberg, Kevin Hooks, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Mark Valley, Matthew Federman, McG, Mike Desabrais, missing college students in Haiti, OnMedea, Peter Johnson, Simon West, Stephen Scaia, Terry Semel, The Human Target, Tim Armstrong

Call me crazy, and I realize it’s hard to pick and chose which stories get the full animated advertising treatment, but this seems a little inappropriate to me.

Can’t The Human Target just burst through Ben Silverman and Jeff Zucker stories?

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Jay Leno and NBC: Damage Control Begins

OK.  So Conan is gone.  Jay is back at 11:35.  What’s next? Damage control.

Over the next few weeks, we can expect to see NBC Universal’s ‘A Team’ of publicists begin the seemingly impossible task of resuscitating the images of Jay Leno, The Tonight Show and NBC.

The Winter Olympics couldn’t have come at a better time to provide a necessary distraction – and it allows NBC Universal’s corporate publicists an extra two weeks to rebuild NBC’s shattered image.

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, Brian Roberts, CBS, Comcast, Conan O'Brien, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, GE shareholder, Gossip Girl, Haitian food delivery, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Jimmy Fallon, John Ferriter, Julia Roberts, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Marc Graboff, Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, phoenix rising from the ashes, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stop all the clocks..., TCA Winter Press Tour, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, Tom Hanks, Tonight Show With Jay Leno, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorSo, here’s what needs to be done:

Step 1: Jeff Zucker must be fired.  Regardless of what really happened behind the scenes, his name is synonymous with the total failure of NBC and it is perceived by the public that he is the main reason the Conan/Jay issue became such a mess.  The fact that he actually believed the best way to handle the situation was to attack Conan O’Brien illustrates his complete inability to manage a crisis.

This is not someone that Comcast needs at the top of the new company to be formed and it’s, frankly, not someone that anyone needs (unless he wants to go join his buddy Ben Silverman in his soon-to-be failed company – Electus). That would be fine with me.

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, Brian Roberts, CBS, Comcast, Conan O'Brien, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, GE shareholder, Gossip Girl, Haitian food delivery, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Jimmy Fallon, John Ferriter, Julia Roberts, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Marc Graboff, Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, phoenix rising from the ashes, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stop all the clocks..., TCA Winter Press Tour, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, Tom Hanks, Tonight Show With Jay Leno, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorStep 2: Provide tons of food aid to Haitian earthquake victims (with the optional The Tonight Show With Jay Leno branding on each bag).   It’s hard for late night comedians to make fun of someone who is providing real help to people in desperate need.

Step 3:
Develop really good / meaningful shows and stick with them even if the ratings aren’t there.  While this may result in lower profits in the short-term, NBC needs to convince viewers that they are capable of producing quality entertainment and don’t just make crappy shows about who can lose the most weight.

That’s it.  Jay will go back on at 11:35 and will most likely become #1 again in a month or so.  Major stars will not boycott Jay because the late night shows are vital to the promotion of their upcoming films and television series.

Sure, right now everyone is on Conan’s side but once Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts have films to promote, they’ll be right there back on Jay’s couch.  Without a doubt.

If these steps are taken, NBC should be in a pretty good position when they announce their fall 2010 shows at the May upfronts.

However, if Step 1 is ignored – all bets are off.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Jeff Immelt, Brian Roberts: Jeff Zucker Has Got To Go

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, Brian Roberts, CBS, Comcast, Conan O'Brien, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, GE shareholder, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Jimmy Fallon, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Marc Graboff, Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stop all the clocks..., TCA Winter Press Tour, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris Endeavor
ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, Brian Roberts, CBS, Comcast, Conan O'Brien, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, GE shareholder, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Jimmy Fallon, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Marc Graboff, Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stop all the clocks..., TCA Winter Press Tour, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorSo… the top brass at NBC Universal just waited and waited just to see how things would play out – and now the shareholders of GE and Comcast (of which I am one) have a major Zucker problem on their hands.  There is really only one solution at this point:  Zucker must be fired.

How did this man become a top executive in one of the largest media companies in the world without having a clue as to what is going on around him?

About a week ago, I said very specifically what Jeff Zucker needed to do to fix The Jay Leno Show debacle.  I even wrote out his opening remarks to the press.

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, Brian Roberts, CBS, Comcast, Conan O'Brien, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, GE shareholder, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Jimmy Fallon, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Marc Graboff, Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stop all the clocks..., TCA Winter Press Tour, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorBut this was ignored (granted, he may not even know OnMedea exists) and now it has become a PR disaster.  Does he not see the total public support for Conan now that he is “the victim”?  Not that Zucker gives a shit about public opinion – if he did, maybe NBC wouldn’t consistently be the #4 network.

Conan didn’t have to be “the victim”.  He could have been portrayed as a “Wall Street bank” like Goldman Sachs or JPMorgan – who just got a $65 million payout bonus for doing no work.

Here’s a statement that should have been read two weeks ago:  “We are canceling ‘The Jay Leno Show‘ and moving Jay back to ‘The Tonight Show‘ where he belongs – and where he was #1 for many years.  Conan O’Brien has been a valuable member of the NBC family, but the ratings at 11:30 were not what we had hoped.  However, we have made things right with Conan and paid out his contract – $65 million – and wish him luck wherever he may go next.”

Done.

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, Brian Roberts, CBS, Comcast, Conan O'Brien, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, GE shareholder, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Jimmy Fallon, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Marc Graboff, Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stop all the clocks..., TCA Winter Press Tour, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorBut no, team Zucker (which includes the newly-installed Jeff Gaspinthat press conference on Sunday was a textbook on how not to handle something) decided to insult Conan by giving the failed Jay Leno the coveted 11:35pm time slot (a decision I agree with from a ratings / business standpoint) and asking Conan to move back to 12:05amConan should have been let go (the ratings WERE bad) and he should have been given HIS FULL PAYOUT.  Simple.  No PR disaster.

Now that little Zucker has insulted Conan AGAIN by saying he will keep him off the air for 3 1/2 years because “he failed to live up to his promise to me.”  Are you fucking kidding me?   Basta!

So… Jeff Immelt and Brian Roberts – as a GE and Comcast shareholder – I would ask that you please end this ridiculous, horribly managed crisis by firing Jeff Zucker – not when the Comcast acquisition goes through – now.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Anderson Cooper In Haiti

AC360, Anderson Cooper, Andrew Heller, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Bill O'Reilly, CNN, David Levy, Greg D'Alba, Haiti Earthquake, Haitian earthquake, Jack Wakshlag, Jay Leno, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Jim McCaffrey, Jim Walton, John Kampfe, Kelly Regal, Khan Manka, Larry King, Louise Sams, Manka Bros., OnMedea, Pat Robertson, Phil Kent, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Teissler, Sean Hannity, Steve Koonin, Stuart Snyder, Wolf BlitzerThere’s a certain comfort I get whenever I see Anderson Cooper parachute or helicopter into a disaster zone. You just get the feeling that he’ll be the first in and last out on the story.

He’ll report the news 24 hours a day in a tight black t-shirt and not hesitate to dive into a search and rescue operation.

This is an cataclysmic, absolutely horrific tragedy on par with the Asian tsunami in 2004. Jay Leno / Jeff Gaspin / Jeff Zucker / Ben Silverman news seems completely ridiculous and unimportant at this time (though I’m sure it will return soon enough).

I’ll be curious to see how much time Fox News devotes to this story. Hopefully their only source won’t be Pat Robertson. You can just tell they are itching to dump this “earthquake story” and get back to bashing President Obama’s health care plan.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Peter Sarsgaard – Green Lantern Villain – Who Cares!?

Andrew Haas, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Blake Lively, Carol Ferris, DC Comics, Donald De Line, Donald Deline, Green Lantern, Greg Berlanti, Greg Silverman, Hal Jordan, Hector Hammond, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Marc Guggenheim, Martin Campbell, Michael Green, OnMedea, Peter Sarsgaard, Ryan Reynolds, Terry Semel, World's largest Media CompanyOK geeks.  Time to go outside for a little air.

I just noticed that the current most popular item on Digg is a story about Peter Sarsgaard possibly being cast as the villain in next year’s Green Lantern movie.

WHO GIVES A FUCK?!
Jesus Christ, seriously, with the unimaginably horrific tragedy unfolding in Haiti, who cares about who will play the villain in The Green Lantern?!

Sure, he’s a fine actor.  I’m sure he’ll be good in the part.  BUT WHO CARES?! Please don’t spend the valuable time you have remaining in your lives “DIGGING” stories like this.

Here’s how this story should be discussed:

TWEET:  Peter Sarsgaard may play the villain in “The Green Lantern” movie?
RESPONSE:  Cool.

End of story.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Jeff Gaspin – What The Hell Was That?

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, CBS, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Marc Graboff, Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stop all the clocks..., TCA Winter Press Tour, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorThe Jay Leno Show cancellation announcement by Jeff GaspinChairman NBC Entertainment – was handled in just about the worst way possible. It should have so simple: Announce the news; admit it was mistake and talk about the exciting changes to come. That’s it.

Instead, Jeff Gaspin’s announcement at the TCA Winter Press Tour was a stunning display on how not to do something. He was defensive (even blaming other parts of the company) and basically said he didn’t really know what they were going to do next.

Let’s break down the key quotes:

Gaspin: “I would have liked nothing more than to give this (The Jay Leno Show) a 52-week try.” (You’re the freakin’ Chairman of NBC Entertainment – don’t you have the power to give it a try for as long you’d like no matter who is against it? Especially if you would have ‘liked nothing more’?

Gaspin: “This was not an issue for the network…” (No, of course not, NBC kicks ass! Fourth place ass. But it still kicks ass!)

Gaspin: “… it was an issue for our affiliates.” (That’s it, blame another part of your company. One great leadership trait is knowing whom should be blamed in a time of crisis.)

Gaspin: “We were making money at 10 p.m. I think, over time, (‘Leno’s’ ratings) might have started to grow. For the network, it was not yet a wrong decision.” (You really went out on a limb on that one. ‘It was not yet a wrong decision?’ What the fuck is that? Come on, Jeff, just say ‘Yes, it was the wrong decision. We failed but we’re going to fix it.’ The culture at NBC has got to change. When the Chairman of the company is afraid of accountability, what hope is there for the rest of the executive team?)

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, Brian Roberts, CBS, Comcast, Conan O'Brien, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, GE shareholder, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Jimmy Fallon, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Marc Graboff, Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stop all the clocks..., TCA Winter Press Tour, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorSo, Jeff, was “Leno” a mistake?

Gaspin: “I don’t think it’s wrong to take chances. We might have been too early on this one.” (Ah, I see… you’re just ahead of your time. The world is not ready for the bold programming choices coming from NBC. The world is not ready for a powder puff monologue followed by lame celebrity interviews at 10pm. Fight on, lone ranger, one day the world will catch up to your vision.)

You want to know how to avoid a “PR Issue”, Jeff – nut-up and take the blame for a mistake. Obviously, your boss Jeff Zucker is too much of a wimp to acknowledge failure. As I said in October, it’s a stupid TV show that didn’t work – it’s not that big of a deal. It was a programming choice that didn’t work. Simple as that.

Now, get out there and make the best “Law & Order” spin-off that you can.

Godspeed, Jeff Gaspin.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Ben Silverman’s DumbDumb Deal

$100 million start up fund, Adam Fogelson, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Chase the Money, Chopped, City Lights TV, CollegeHumor, Dance, Dave Noll, Don't Sweat It, Donna Langley, Doritos, DumbDumb, Electus, Fortune's 40 under 40, Funny or Die, IAC, Jason Bateman, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Khan Manka, Love Taxi, Manka Bros., media analyst, NBC Universal, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, OnMedea's Top 40 Failures Under 40, Paul Telegdy, Ready, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ryan Seacrest, Set, Sharon Waxman, Tara Swisher, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, the Jay Leno Show, The Restaurant, The Tonight Show, thewrap.com, twitter, Will Arnett, Will Ferrell, William Faulkner, You vs. America

$100 million start up fund, Adam Fogelson, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Chase the Money, Chopped, City Lights TV, CollegeHumor, Dance, Dave Noll, Don't Sweat It, Donna Langley, Doritos, DumbDumb, Electus, Fortune's 40 under 40, Funny or Die, IAC, Jason Bateman, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Khan Manka, Love Taxi, Manka Bros., media analyst, NBC Universal, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, OnMedea's Top 40 Failures Under 40, Paul Telegdy, Ready, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ryan Seacrest, Set, Sharon Waxman, Tara Swisher, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, the Jay Leno Show, The Restaurant, The Tonight Show, thewrap.com, twitter, Will Arnett, Will Ferrell, William Faulkner, You vs. AmericaYes, this deal is as DumbDumb as you can get.

How to build a successful startup:  Step #1 – Use Barry Diller’s money to fund a vanity production label with a friend from high school.

Yes, Jason Bateman and Will Arnett (in particular) are talented guys but anyone who thinks they will spend any real time on this venture is out of their minds.

Sure, we’ll get the standard Will Ferrell-type Funny of Die videos of Bateman and Arnett walking around with a steady-cam eating Doritos and improvising about how easy this internet stuff is – but will anything of value come out of DumbDumb?

Ben Silverman knows the answer to this and laughs at how DumbDumb some people must be.

$100 million start up fund, Adam Fogelson, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Chase the Money, Chopped, City Lights TV, CollegeHumor, Dance, Dave Noll, Don't Sweat It, Donna Langley, Doritos, DumbDumb, Electus, Fortune's 40 under 40, Funny or Die, IAC, Jason Bateman, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Khan Manka, Love Taxi, Manka Bros., media analyst, NBC Universal, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, OnMedea's Top 40 Failures Under 40, Paul Telegdy, Ready, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ryan Seacrest, Set, Sharon Waxman, Tara Swisher, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, the Jay Leno Show, The Restaurant, The Tonight Show, thewrap.com, twitter, Will Arnett, Will Ferrell, William Faulkner, You vs. AmericaI would imagine Barry Diller also knows the answer.  Unfortunately, he’s the ultimate DumbDumb in this equation for funding Electus in the first place.

But for now… it’s all just so exciting.  I know I’m just a cockeyed optimist, but I just can’t wait for Ben to change the world again.  And I’m super glad that they took the time out of the arduous process of building the successful DumbDumb business model to appear in Las Vegas for the announcement (along with the awesomely hilarious Notional CEO Lord Ricky Van Veen).

I just hope it’s not the same business model that Ben Silverman developed for ElectusSpend $100 million on the development (but not the execution) of digital content and when that money is gone – launch another start-up with another sugar daddy.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Jeff Zucker – It’s Time To Suck It Up

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, CBS, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stop all the clocks..., Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorOK, Jeff, it’s time for you to man-up, nut-up, suck-it-up, eat-it (all those things) and fix this late night issue before it becomes even more of a train wreck.

It’s very simple:

  • Fire Conan O’Brien and give him all the compensation he is owed as part of a separation deal.  (Don’t be a pussy, Jeff, let Conan go to Fox or ABC (or wherever) and pull in an average 2.3/5 share.  Who cares?);
  • Re-install Jay at 11:35 on The Tonight Show and be done with it.  (Jay will quickly become the late night King again because my grandmother “really likes those headlines”);
  • Find some old Law & Order’s laying around that you can air until you develop a couple of decent shows.

Yes, you may have to deal with a couple of months of bad press (“NBC Screwed Conan”… “Jay Not The Right Man”… “Jeff Zucker Sucks At His Job”… etc.) but it will pass and things will be back to where they were last May (with NBC in fourth place – but not late night).  It will all be like a horrible dream and we’ll all wake up with Bobby Ewing in the shower.

But these steps need to be taken immediately. In order to save you some time, I’ve drafted your opening comments at the press conference that you should have this afternoon:

“Good afternoon.  Thank you for coming.  [Insert Nikki Finke joke here – something about her always being prompt and in the front row.] I’d like to take a few moments to discuss our line-up of new dramas at 10pm which will premiere after The Vancouver Olympics.  Just kidding – we don’t even have a fucking pilot!

No, I’m here to discuss The Jay Leno Show situation.

[cameras clicking – reporters jostling for position]

Last year, I made a horrible mistake.  Ben Silverman actually made the mistake… but I digress.

For some asinine reason, we thought we could put Jay Leno on at 10pm and people would actually watch it.  I thought our affiliates would be so happy to have a topical program hosted by one of America’s most beloved comedians as a lead in to their local news.

I was way fucking wrong on that assumption.

It could have been worse.  I could have announced that we were merging with AOL or that I had re-hired Ben Silverman to run the network.

So… in order to make things right.  I am officially reinstating Jay Leno to The Tonight Show and have paid off the remainder of Conan O’Brien’s contract so that he may pursue other opportunities at other networks.  Conan was a great asset to NBC and a huge talent and we wish him nothing but the best – but we’ve decided to go back to Jay at 11:35.

Anyone who has an drama series ideas or any pilots in the can, please have them delivered to Angela Bromstad’s house immediately.

I will now take your questions.”

Do it, Jeff.  It’s not too late to fix things.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea