White Male Disney Executives Embrace Women

Ari Emanual, Bob Iger, Bob Zemeckis, Claudia Eller, Dawn Chmielewski, Dick Cook, Disney, Jeff Weiner, Jeremy Zimmer, Jerry Bruckheimer, Joe Roth, John Travolta, Johnny Depp, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., McG, Nikki Finke, Pixar, Rich Ross, Richard Ross, Robin Williams, Sam Gores, Sandra Bullock, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steven Spielberg, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Tim Burton, Walt Disney Studios

Ari Emanual, Bob Iger, Bob Zemeckis, Claudia Eller, Dawn Chmielewski, Dick Cook, Disney, Jeff Weiner, Jeremy Zimmer, Jerry Bruckheimer, Joe Roth, John Travolta, Johnny Depp, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., McG, Nikki Finke, Pixar, Rich Ross, Richard Ross, Robin Williams, Sam Gores, Sandra Bullock, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steven Spielberg, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Tim Burton, Walt Disney StudiosApparently, Rich Ross has had an epiphany:  Women like movies.

According to the Los Angeles Times (and I’m paraphrasing/ reading between-the-lines), Rich Ross has told (male) literary agents at (male) literary agencies (who represent [male] literary writers), that (Walt) Disney Studios would like to produce more films that appeal to women.

It must have been one of those ‘flux capacitor’ moments for Rich Ross and got me wondering about how genius manifests itself.  I mean, thoughts this brilliant don’t just come along every day.

So in my own inferior mind, I began to wonder how the scene must have played out in Bob Iger’s office (or wherever it occurred) and believe it happened like this:

Ari Emanual, Bob Iger, Bob Zemeckis, Claudia Eller, Dawn Chmielewski, Dick Cook, Disney, Jeff Weiner, Jeremy Zimmer, Jerry Bruckheimer, Joe Roth, John Travolta, Johnny Depp, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., McG, Nikki Finke, Pixar, Rich Ross, Richard Ross, Robin Williams, Sam Gores, Sandra Bullock, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steven Spielberg, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Tim Burton, Walt Disney StudiosBob Iger, in sweaty shorts and a T-shirt is slamming racquetballs against the giant windows of his office (the one with the Seven Dwarfs outside). 

Intercom: Mr. Iger, your nephew, Richard Ross, is here to see you.

Bob Iger: He’s not my nephew.  Send him in.

Richard Ross enters.

Rich: Uncle Bob, I want to run something by you.

Bob: Rich, I’m not your uncle.

Rich: We can play it that way.  I’m hip to that.

Bob: What’s on your mind?

Rich: Women.

Bob: Really?  You?  Explain.

Ari Emanual, Bob Iger, Bob Zemeckis, Claudia Eller, Dawn Chmielewski, Dick Cook, Disney, Jeff Weiner, Jeremy Zimmer, Jerry Bruckheimer, Joe Roth, John Travolta, Johnny Depp, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., McG, Nikki Finke, Pixar, Rich Ross, Richard Ross, Robin Williams, Sam Gores, Sandra Bullock, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steven Spielberg, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Tim Burton, Walt Disney StudiosRich: I think we need to make movies that appeal to women.  Kagan recently did a study that came to the conclusion that women actually go to movies.  That they actually… enjoy movies.

Bob: You mean like Pirates of the Caribbean and Walt Disney’s A Christmas Carol?

Rich: I mean like Twilight and Sandra Bullock movies.

Bob: Jesus Christ.  What the fuck are you saying to me?

Rich: I’m saying we need to get together with some of the top male screenwriters and producers in Hollywood and come up with the next generation of “Twilights” and “Sandra Bullock” movies.  In order to survive, we need to tap more women.

Bob: Then do it.  You have my full support.

Rich: Thanks, Bob.

Bob: Uncle… Bob.

Rich smiles and leaves.

That may not have been exactly the way it played out – but the end result will be films manufactured by men that attempt to appeal to women that do nothing but turn women off.

My advice to DisneyPirates of the Caribbean 4.  Appeal to women when you have a good story to tell, not by turning a “John Travolta” script into a “Sandra Bullock” script.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Disney/Pixar Stickers

Bob Iger, Disney, Disney/Pixar sticker book, Dora the Explorer, Happiest Place on Earth, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Medea, media analyst, OnMedea, Pixar, Robert iger, Steve Jobs, sticker book, Sumnner Redstone, ViacomHere’s a simple request for all the lawyers and senior executives at the Happiest Place On Earth.  Can you please keep your meathooks and your legalese off of my kid’s Disney/Pixar sticker book?  It’s a freakin’ STICKER BOOK for Christ’s sake!

Do we really need “Copyright Disney/Pixar” on every single fucking sticker?  There are about 200 stickers to a page and every tiny little sticker has “Copyright Disney/Pixar” on it.

For the good of the planet, save a few million gallons of ink!

Do you think the pirates out there making counterfeit stickers aren’t able to replicate your brilliant attempt at control of your intellectual property?

It’s not necessary.  Nobody gives a shit.

Viacom doesn’t plaster a copyright notice all over Dora the Explorer and they’re selling a hell of a lot more stickers.  And Manka Bros. doesn’t touch their Animaltered stickers.

I know it may seem like a stupid request – but I know there were way too many corporate and lawyer meetings about that copyright notice – and it’s an unbelievable waste of time.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea