Sharon Waxman – Page 6

October 7, 2009April 26, 2011

The Nobel Prize For Chemistry

YOU’VE GOT TO BE F-ING KIDDING ME!!

I apologize but this cannot stand! I am shocked and saddened by today’s news of the 2009 Nobel Prize winners for Chemistry.

Seriously? Venkatraman Ramakrishnan, Thomas A. Steitz, and Ada E. Yonath?

Somebody please tell me if this is a joke! Because it’s NOT FUNNY!

The Noble Prize Committee (who have lost an infinity amount of respect from me for this decision) said that the winners were awarded for:

“Studies of one of life’s core processes: The ribosome’s translation of DNA information into life. (I won’t stoop so low as to explain what ribosomes do.) This year’s Nobel Prize in Chemistry awards Venkatraman Ramakrishnan, Thomas A. Steitz, and Ada E. Yonath for having showed what the ribosome looks like and how it functions at the atomic level. All three have used a method called X-ray crystallography to map the position for each and every one of the hundreds of thousands of atoms that make up the ribosome.”

Unbe-fucking-lievable! Well, good luck to you all… hacks. My five-year-old daughter could poke more holes in your research than she currently does to my couch cushions.

I know I normally focus on on TRUTH IN MEDIA (i.e., the cover up of Sarah Palin’s “Going Rogue” ghost-writer Lynn Vincent) – but this announcement today threw me for a loop.

This is the beginning of the end of the Nobel Prizes!

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 5, 2009April 26, 2011

It’s been nearly three months since you announced you were leaving NBC to start a new company that will “capitalize on the ever-evolving world of multimedia production and distribution.” We’re still waiting.

Who knows? Maybe you actually did stay at NBC to help launch the new season (or whatever) like you claimed you were going to do.

If you stayed, most likely you left the morning after The Jay Leno Show premiered so that you could tell people that it was a hit while you were there.

[Note: Latest ratings for The Jay Leno Show (10/5/09): 2.9/5 – but, according to John Ferriter, it only needs a 1.5 to make NBC Universal $300 million!]

I know it must be difficult to be a cutting-edge wunderkind and I’m not trying to rush you – but it’s time to announce your new venture.

I’m sure Barry Diller can’t wait to hear about it either. He’s got $100 million riding on your genius.

Don’t worry, Ben – Vegas will still be there after you launch your company. And… don’t forget… hot chicks dig launch parties.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 4, 2009April 27, 2011

Gourmet Magazine – R.I.P.

Sad news today for foodies who have way too much time on their hands. Gourmet Magazine, the magazine that showed all of us hack-chef-wannabees that we had no chance of ever being any good, is going out of business. [I mean, seriously, look at that picture – who can possibly make that? It’s hard enough just ordering pizza.]

The print business is living a nightmare. Conde Nast also announced they are axing three other titles (Cookie, Modern Bride and Elegant Bride). The publishing business model, as it stands today, is truly fucked up but Gourmet has a different problem. It is a victim of its own name.

Gourmet is a top-notch magazine to be sure and its Editor-In-Chief Ruth Reichel is one of the classiest and most talented publishing executives in the business (and one hell of a good cook).

The problem with Gourmet, in this economic climate, is its title. The middle and lower income people that purchased a subscription for $1 an issue finally gave up on the dream of having 5-star restaurant food in their apartment. It just wasn’t practical in the overall scheme of things. It’s the equivalent of reading a copy of Yachting when you have no idea if you’re going to have a job next year – much less… a yacht. Scary stuff.

Bon Appetit and Food & Wine are scraping by (maybe) but only because their generic titles allow them to have cover stories like 10 (Great) Wines for Under $10 Bucks, and Feed Your Family For Less Than 5 Cents A Day. The best Gourmet could do was Eat Like A King On A Prince’s Salary (or something like that).

The good news is the website (which includes the fabulous Epicurious.com) and TV show will continue (I didn’t know there was a TV show – but good luck with that).

I wish the Ruth Reichl and her entire staff the best of luck as they try to move forward. It’s a fucked up world and nothing is fair right now.

Once we start extending the OnMedea brand into the food & wine area, I’ll be looking for a few good writers. But you may need to learn how to make a grilled cheese first.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 2, 2009April 28, 2011

Going Rogue by Sarah Palin (AND LYNN VINCENT)

The cover of Sarah Palin’s latest work of fiction “Going Rogue: An American Life” was released today by publisher HarperCollins.

Anyone waiting to see if Ms. Palin can write in complete sentences WON’T be able to find that out anytime soon because she didn’t really write the book. Most likely she talked into a speaker phone from her Chevy Suburban to Ghost Writer Lynn Vincent who turned Ms. Palin’s incoherent thoughts into a simple, easy-to-understand prose that will further separate the growing division in America.

What do we know about Lynn Vincent? Not much lately. I have a feeling Ms. Vincent has been locked in Dick Cheney’s bunker and will remain there until “Going Rogue: An American Life” is safely in the $1 bins at Costco (or when Ms. Palin becomes President – whichever comes first).

What we DO know about Lynn Vincent (46) OFF-THE-RECORD is that she is a total Christian Right wacko with hardcore beliefs about abortion, gay marriage, Jews, Democrats, Muslims, etc. In general, she’s a woman with a deep hatred in her heart for all those who are not like her.

ON THE RECORD, she’s a fairly solid writer who (I’m sure) has gay and Muslim friends. OK, maybe gay friends. OK, in the closet gay friends. OK, maybe not.

Over the next few weeks (until the book is released in November), there will be numerous attempts by the “Illegal-should-be-abolished” media on the left to dig up more about Ms. Vincent. But I have a feeling she will be “unavailable for comment” (though Fox News may be able to land an “Exclusive”. Hannity will be “tough but fair” and manage to wring out what her favorite flavor of Jell-o is).

As tempting as it is to go after whatever low-hanging fruit there is on Ms. Vincent, I say the real focus should remain on Ms. Palin – who, frankly, must be stopped.

Somewhere buried in the digital universe there is further proof that she is completely out of her mind and… dangerous. For the good of the world, it is our duty to dig it up before she writes again.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – Sarah, you should have gone more “Coulter” with your cover. The men want to see you in a black mini-dress (especially Sean Hannity and his repressed sexual urges).

October 1, 2009April 28, 2011

The Jay Leno Show Has Failed

Based on last night’s overnight ratings (September 30, 2009: 4.1/7), the above headline is what nearly every television production executive is screaming down the halls today (with the exception of those at NBC Universal. They’re probably screaming something like… Will Comcast contribute to my 401K? What happens to our stock options?, etc.).

Now, a 4.1/7 is a grand slam on The CW. If every show on The CW got a 4.1/7, Dawn Ostroff (President) would be carried around on one of those Cleopatra-type chairs. However, this is NBC and this is Jay Leno. We’ve heard from stories past (lies in my opinion), that Jay only needs to “get a 1.5 rating (A18-49) to make $300 million a year for NBC”. So a 4.1/7 is comfortably in that range – but still pathetic based on pre-season expectations.

However, there is a way that NBC can save face in the middle of this debacle. They don’t even need to cancel The Jay Leno Show (why would you when you’re making that kind of bank? I’m sure Comcast will do a complete audit in due-diligence – so one day we’ll know for sure).

Here’s what you do, NBC: BUY BILLBOARDS strategically-positioned around every major television production facility (as demonstrated below). Every week, update the profit number of The Jay Leno Show and then put a tag at the bottom that reads something like: “Hey TV Execs, how are your fall shows doing? Throwing Off Any Cash?”

This would bring home the fact that The Jay Leno Show HAS NOT FAILED. It might just stop this town from obsessing over ratings and fucking market share. Ask The Food Network about their profits? I think they’ll tell you they’re doing just fine. And when was the last time they got even a 1.0/3 share? It means nothing.

But, NBC, you have lost the PR war and it’s time to fight back. Forget trying to put TV stars from other networks on with Jay. Jay is about movie stars and pop icons. Fuck Julianna Margulies, Jay. You don’t need her or her TV friends and complaining in the media about it makes you look like a pussy (even more so).

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – I have nothing against Julianna Margulies. Big fan. She’s just F-ed by example.

October 1, 2009April 29, 2011

Comcast Acquires NBC Universal?

“COMCAST DENIES A DEAL IS DONE, BUT DOES NOT DENY TALKS.” Are you really fucking kidding me, Sharon?

So this is the way it’s going to be? Semantics.

Everyone in the world with a blog could report anything (anything) and find a way to call it a true story.

My five-year-old daughter could tell me she knows where Iran is hiding a nuclear bomb and I could report: “A trusted source tells me that Iran is hiding a nuclear bomb in a closet in La Canada.” I do consider my daughter to be “trusted”. She’s the “source”. Iran would come out immediately and call the story “inaccurate” – but I wouldn’t be a liar.

I’m stunned that nobody calls bullshit on a story that mentions quite a few details about a deal that is far from complete.

Yet nobody calls Sharon Waxman at TheWrap.com a liar. Semantics. Or… I suppose, because nobody really cares. TheWrap.com got everything it needed from this story. National exposure. Who cares if it’s “inaccurate”? That’s not the point.

Comcast and GE get everything they want out of the story – a test of the market to see what the rumor, if true, would do to their stock prices.

Even so, it’s absolutely ridiculous.

“Comcast is in talks to buy the entertainment giant NBC Universal from General Electric… ACCORDING TO KNOWLEDGEABLE INDIVIDUALS.” WTF does that mean? I consider myself to be a “knowledgeable individual” – does that mean I could have been a source even if I didn’t know about the meeting?

“Deal points were hammered out…EXECUTIVES FAMILIAR WITH THE MEETING SAID.”

Who are these “Knowledgeable Individuals” and “Executives Familiar With The Meeting” – and why the fuck are they talking to TheWrap.com?

Are “Sources” protected in online journalism? What kind of a crazy-fucking world is it when Nikki Finke is the reserved one in a big entertainment business story like this? Maybe it’s because she didn’t break the story and would love to see it discredited. Actually, not “maybe” – I’m sure she wants to see it discredited.

The biggest surprise of all is that nobody is calling bullshit or lies lies lies. In today’s journalistic environment, that means the story is, most likely, true. And if I had the chance and “sources” to break this story, I would have done the same thing.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

September 25, 2009April 29, 2011

The Beautiful Life: TBL – CANCELLED!

Adam Giaudrone, Ari Emanuel, Ashley Madekwe, Ashton Kutcher, Benjamin Hollingsworth, Corbin Bleu, Dawn Ostroff, Dawn Tarnofsky, Deadline Hollywood, Elle Macpherson, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Mike Kelley, Mischa Barton, Nico Tortorella, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Sara Paxton, Shane Newville, Sharon Waxman, Swingtown, Terry Semel, The CW, The Vampire Diaries, thewrap.com

After only two pathetically rated episodes, The Beautiful Life: TBL has the distinction of being the first show cancelled of the 2009/2010 television season.

Sorry Mischa. You heard it here first… last week.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

September 23, 2009April 29, 2011

John Ferriter and The Jay Leno Show

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, CBS, CSI: NY, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, Warner Bros., William Morris Endeavor

So, earlier today, I said that Leno’s 4.5/8 share was a disaster for NBC and they should start to think about living in a post-Leno world.

But I was just made aware of a statement by John Ferriter (head of WME’s Non-Scripted Department) at the Producers Caucus Panel that all Jay Leno needed to get was a 1.5 share (A18-49) in order to make NBC $300 million.

WHAT THE FUCK?!

Now by “make” I don’t know if he means revenue (which doesn’t make it a crazy statement) or profit (which makes it a crazy statement). Either way – it’s bullshit and I don’t believe it.

If this was true, why wouldn’t every network do it? Why wouldn’t Jeff Zucker be screaming it from the rooftops to Wall Street? Gossip Girl gets a 1.5 rating and The CW doesn’t make shit. I know… I know… it’s not apples-to-apples – but it’s still bullshit.

I started to wonder why John Ferriter would take such a bold stand and why does he really care? Then I found the above picture of Mr. Ferriter with my old friend Ben Silverman in Vegas and it all made sense.

Seems to me Mr. Ferriter is just defending his friends’ crazy business model. Ben has dated quite a few crazy business models in the past – but none so bold and insane as the one that makes $300 million for 1.5 rating. Now that’s one hot model!

Why would NBC let such a genius get away?

So, according to my math, a 4.5/8 share should “make” NBC around $900 million.

Jesus Christ! The Broadcast Network business is a great business!

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

September 23, 2009May 2, 2011

OH NO – Jay Leno’s Ratings Last Night – 4.5/8

Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Deadline Hollywood, Grace Kelly, Gregorian Calendar, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., National Cream Filled Donut Day, NBC, NFL Monday Night Football, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The Jay Leno Show, thewrap.com, Tony Disanto

Sorry, Jay. The competition is only going to get tougher (just wait until you hit first-run episodes of those Thursday night dramas).

I hate for you to fail. You’re such a likable guy. But I LOVE that Ben Silverman is failing (failing upwards, I suppose, but still failing!).

It’s a real conundrum.

Good luck tonight against CSI: NY on CBS and Eastwick on ABC. Okay, you might do fine against Eastwick – maybe even a 4.7/9 share! Whoopee!

It may be time to get OctoMom and Kate Gosselin in some sort of a wresting match – because only stunts like that can help you now.

[Note to Angela Bromstad and Paul Telegdy at NBC: You may want to contact Dick Wolf to get some more Law & Order iterations going. Also, call Peter Roth over at Warner Bros. to see how long it might take to rebuild the ER set.]

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

September 21, 2009May 2, 2011

It’s Time To Kill The Emmys

61st Annual Emmy Awards, ABC, Angela Bromstad, Anne Sweeney, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, CBS, Chris O'Donnell, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Don Mischer, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog, Family Guy, Fox, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Les Moonves, LL Cool J, Manka Bros., NBC, NCIS: Los Angeles, Neil Patrick Harris, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Sandy Grushow, Seth McFarlane, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The CW, The Simpsons, thewrap.com

Frankly, no one gives a shit anymore. Last night’s show was painful.

A tour of the set? Seriously? Matthew Weiner, creator of Mad Men, is unable to give an acceptance speech for winning Best Drama because there was a five minute TOUR OF THE SET at the beginning of the show? “Where we will all be spending the next three plus hours!”

The opening number from the Academy Awards winning for Best Musical Number? Best Musical Number?

That painfully long Family Guy bit with the baby killing the dog (full disclosure – I’m a Simpson’s girl and think Family Guy sucks so I probably wouldn’t have liked even if it were short and funny).

There there was bit-after-painful-bit about the demise of television. Television, the way it was in 1979 is dead – TELEVISION ISN’T DEAD! What else are we supposed to do to pass the time on this miserable planet? We like the internet, we like television, we like movies, we like going out to dinner, we like talking on the phone, we like working out, we like going to the park with our kids, we like going to Disneyland… just because we spend a few hours less watching TV doesn’t make it the end of the world!

I know there is a lot of insecurity in this town and a very strong need to give each other awards. But would the programming change if there wasn’t Emmy Awards? Are the actors from NCIS: Los Angeles relevant in any way? Was an appearance by the Gossip Girls a way to reach out to 15 year olds? As an experiment, Television Academy, why don’t you put next year’s awards on the Disney Channel and see how many young girls you get to watch… But that would never happen because the Emmys are much too prestigious for that.

I know the old white executives want it to be 1979 again when the television audience apparently actually cared if M*A*S*H would win or lose – but those days are gone.

It’s over. Kill it already. Every year it sucks and every year we watch. Over half that crowd (i.e., the late night comedy show writers), wanted to be watching the Giants/Cowboys game on NBC. Myself included.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Tag: Sharon Waxman

The Nobel Prize For Chemistry

Ben Silverman’s New Company?

Gourmet Magazine – R.I.P.

Going Rogue by Sarah Palin (AND LYNN VINCENT)

The Jay Leno Show Has Failed

Comcast Acquires NBC Universal?

The Beautiful Life: TBL – CANCELLED!

John Ferriter and The Jay Leno Show

OH NO – Jay Leno’s Ratings Last Night – 4.5/8

It’s Time To Kill The Emmys