thewrap.com – Page 5

November 13, 2009April 22, 2011

The TV.com Awards?

I received an email this morning from a friend who said: “Jill, OMG, you have to click on this link and vote for my show!”

“Vote for what?”, I said.

“The Best Of 2009 TV.com Awards! My show was nominated!”

Are you fucking kidding me? The Best of 2009 TV.com Awards? What? What I mean say is… huh? The fuck?

I was wondering why everyone here at Manka Bros. is running around so excited. I thought it was because it is Friday – but no, IT’S BECAUSE THE BEST OF 2009 TV.COM NOMINATIONS ARE OUT! (And this is not to be confused with the 2009 TV.com Awards which were announced a month or so ago – I think.)

I am soooo nervous. Will “30 Rock” finally break out and beat “The Big Bang Theory” for their first ever Best of 2009 TV.com Award? Will “The Big Bang Theory” finally emerge from its “Two and a Half Men” shadow and beat “30 Rock” to win their first ever Best of 2009 TV.com Award?

Actually, everyone who wins will win their very first Best Of 2009 TV.com Award. Because this is the first year of the Best of 2009 TV.com Awards!

Seriously, this town has got to stop giving out meaningless awards. I know we thrive on it and need these awards desperately to boost our egos (even more) but enough is enough. As a multi-year winner of the BLOGGY for Best General Media Blog, I know how it feels to have your name called. But we really need to stop it.

Woody Allen said it best in “Annie Hall“: “What’s with all these awards? They’re always giving out awards. Best Fascist Dictator: Adolf Hitler.”

And I have certain questions for the people at TV.com (owned by CBS). Have they only nominated shows from companies that have agreed to license their content to TV.com? Are any shows nominated that can only be found on competitor site Hulu.com, for instance? It makes you question the legitimacy of The Best of 2009 TV.com Awards.

However, the lawyers and executives at CBS don’t have to worry. I’m not going to poke around too much, because I really don’t care. I just wanted you all to know that, if I had to, I could blow the lid off this scandal and bring down The Best of 2009 TV.com Awards!

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

November 9, 2009April 22, 2011

Attention FoxPop and All Other Home Entertainment Groups

STOP DOING SHIT! Just stop it. People have already lost their ability to focus on any one particular thing and you want to “FoxPopize” your movies?

Let me explain. 20th Century Fox (that name is truly fitting in this case) is debuting a new service called FoxPop on the upcoming Blu-ray and DVD release of “Night At The Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian”. While a viewer is watching this horrible film, FoxPop will send out “a constant barrage of facts, photos, games and trivia questions related to the movie” to the user’s Mac, PC or iPhone.

Who gives a fucking shit?!

Do the execs at Fox Home Entertainment really think the consumer’s viewing experience will be enhanced and they will, in turn, embrace and save the dying DVD business by buzzing someone’s iPhone when T.rex appears on screen and asking “how many bones does this dino have?” Most people barely have time to watch one movie a month and you’re trying to waste more of their time!

It’s obvious Fox has quite a bit of extra money lying around to be able to attempt this lame exercise. But I beg you… please stop with all the bullshit and put your money where it really needs to go: Digital downloading technology, consumer education about digital downloading and digital downloading implementation.

That’s the future – not a zapping an iPhone to tell us how many hair follicles Ben Stiller has on his head.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 27, 2009April 25, 2011

Electus – R.I.P.

I realize that Electus – the earth-shattering, ground-breaking, cutting-edge new business from Ben Silverman and Barry Diller’s IAC/ InterActiveCorp hasn’t launched, but I have recently climbed aboard Khan Manka, Jr.’s Time Machine and gone into the not-too-distant future to retrieve the press release announcing (sadly) the company’s closure. Sorry, Ben.

———————————————–
From the Associated Press (July 2011):

Electus, the $100 million start-up from media wunderkind Ben Silverman has decided to close its doors effective immediately after only 18 months in business. 875 staffers (mostly low-level hot chicks in their 20s who ran errands and stuff) were expected to lose their jobs. The highly-touted venture only managed to produce one original internet series – a show about bed-hopping young flight attendants based at O’Hare International Airport called “The Hub”.

Electus, announced by Mr. Silverman with much fanfare in July 2009 (after a completely disastrous run as Co-Chairman of NBC Entertainment), was supposed to change the entertainment landscape with the unoriginal idea of marrying advertising, content and distribution in a new media world.

Mr. Silverman was unavailable for comment but released a statement through his representatives: “I am proud of my accomplishments at Electus. Even though $100 million doesn’t go as far as it used to, I still changed the world! No one has even come close to doing what I did because nobody had the balls. What a ride! Maybe people just aren’t ready for forward-thinking.”

Mr. Diller was available for comment and simply said about Silverman: “Fuck that guy.”

But don’t worry about Ben. He has landed on his feet and will continue his Quixotic quest to monetize online content from his penthouse suite at The Palms Hotel in Vegas. Goldman Sachs
has committed $500 million to fund his new, as yet, unnamed venture.
———————————————————————————————————-

Oh, yeah, one other thing I learned from the future: The Jay Leno Show was canceled in 2010 and called one of the greatest failures in the history of television. Sorry, Ben.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 22, 2009April 25, 2011

Ben Silverman – Fortune’s 40 Under 40?!

$100 million start up fund, Adam Fogelson, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Donna Langley, Fortune's 40 under 40, IAC, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., media analyst, NBC Universal, Nikki Finke, On Medea, OnMedea, OnMedea's Top 40 Failures Under 40, Paul Telegdy, Rick Finkelstein, Ryan Seacrest, Sharon Waxman, Tara Swisher, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, the Jay Leno Show, The Restaurant, The Tonight Show, thewrap.com, twitter, William Faulkner

Seriously, Fortune? Are you fucking kidding me? What, will you sell 15 more magazines with him on the list? Couldn’t come up with that 40th name?

What about Jeff Weiner – he’s under 40 and was named CEO of LinkedIn. That’s a pretty big job and the site actually makes money and is relevant.

Ben Silverman is irrelevant. Everyone needs to please stop with the ‘Ben Silverman is great’ shit.

If (and this is about the biggest fucking ‘if’ I’ve ever written) Barry Diller and Ben Silverman put together a company that changes the media landscape and makes the world a better place, put him on your list next year. Oh, yeah, he won’t be UNDER 40 next year. Sorry, Ben.

Well, OnMedea is putting together our own list: ONMEDEA’S TOP 40 FAILURES UNDER 40 and Ben Silverman is in the running for the top of that list.

Check back here next week for all the exciting details.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 5, 2009April 26, 2011

Ben Silverman’s New Company?

OK, Ben.

It’s been nearly three months since you announced you were leaving NBC to start a new company that will “capitalize on the ever-evolving world of multimedia production and distribution.” We’re still waiting.

Who knows? Maybe you actually did stay at NBC to help launch the new season (or whatever) like you claimed you were going to do.

If you stayed, most likely you left the morning after The Jay Leno Show premiered so that you could tell people that it was a hit while you were there.

[Note: Latest ratings for The Jay Leno Show (10/5/09): 2.9/5 – but, according to John Ferriter, it only needs a 1.5 to make NBC Universal $300 million!]

I know it must be difficult to be a cutting-edge wunderkind and I’m not trying to rush you – but it’s time to announce your new venture.

I’m sure Barry Diller can’t wait to hear about it either. He’s got $100 million riding on your genius.

Don’t worry, Ben – Vegas will still be there after you launch your company. And… don’t forget… hot chicks dig launch parties.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 4, 2009April 27, 2011

Gourmet Magazine – R.I.P.

Sad news today for foodies who have way too much time on their hands. Gourmet Magazine, the magazine that showed all of us hack-chef-wannabees that we had no chance of ever being any good, is going out of business. [I mean, seriously, look at that picture – who can possibly make that? It’s hard enough just ordering pizza.]

The print business is living a nightmare. Conde Nast also announced they are axing three other titles (Cookie, Modern Bride and Elegant Bride). The publishing business model, as it stands today, is truly fucked up but Gourmet has a different problem. It is a victim of its own name.

Gourmet is a top-notch magazine to be sure and its Editor-In-Chief Ruth Reichel is one of the classiest and most talented publishing executives in the business (and one hell of a good cook).

The problem with Gourmet, in this economic climate, is its title. The middle and lower income people that purchased a subscription for $1 an issue finally gave up on the dream of having 5-star restaurant food in their apartment. It just wasn’t practical in the overall scheme of things. It’s the equivalent of reading a copy of Yachting when you have no idea if you’re going to have a job next year – much less… a yacht. Scary stuff.

Bon Appetit and Food & Wine are scraping by (maybe) but only because their generic titles allow them to have cover stories like 10 (Great) Wines for Under $10 Bucks, and Feed Your Family For Less Than 5 Cents A Day. The best Gourmet could do was Eat Like A King On A Prince’s Salary (or something like that).

The good news is the website (which includes the fabulous Epicurious.com) and TV show will continue (I didn’t know there was a TV show – but good luck with that).

I wish the Ruth Reichl and her entire staff the best of luck as they try to move forward. It’s a fucked up world and nothing is fair right now.

Once we start extending the OnMedea brand into the food & wine area, I’ll be looking for a few good writers. But you may need to learn how to make a grilled cheese first.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 2, 2009April 28, 2011

Going Rogue by Sarah Palin (AND LYNN VINCENT)

The cover of Sarah Palin’s latest work of fiction “Going Rogue: An American Life” was released today by publisher HarperCollins.

Anyone waiting to see if Ms. Palin can write in complete sentences WON’T be able to find that out anytime soon because she didn’t really write the book. Most likely she talked into a speaker phone from her Chevy Suburban to Ghost Writer Lynn Vincent who turned Ms. Palin’s incoherent thoughts into a simple, easy-to-understand prose that will further separate the growing division in America.

What do we know about Lynn Vincent? Not much lately. I have a feeling Ms. Vincent has been locked in Dick Cheney’s bunker and will remain there until “Going Rogue: An American Life” is safely in the $1 bins at Costco (or when Ms. Palin becomes President – whichever comes first).

What we DO know about Lynn Vincent (46) OFF-THE-RECORD is that she is a total Christian Right wacko with hardcore beliefs about abortion, gay marriage, Jews, Democrats, Muslims, etc. In general, she’s a woman with a deep hatred in her heart for all those who are not like her.

ON THE RECORD, she’s a fairly solid writer who (I’m sure) has gay and Muslim friends. OK, maybe gay friends. OK, in the closet gay friends. OK, maybe not.

Over the next few weeks (until the book is released in November), there will be numerous attempts by the “Illegal-should-be-abolished” media on the left to dig up more about Ms. Vincent. But I have a feeling she will be “unavailable for comment” (though Fox News may be able to land an “Exclusive”. Hannity will be “tough but fair” and manage to wring out what her favorite flavor of Jell-o is).

As tempting as it is to go after whatever low-hanging fruit there is on Ms. Vincent, I say the real focus should remain on Ms. Palin – who, frankly, must be stopped.

Somewhere buried in the digital universe there is further proof that she is completely out of her mind and… dangerous. For the good of the world, it is our duty to dig it up before she writes again.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – Sarah, you should have gone more “Coulter” with your cover. The men want to see you in a black mini-dress (especially Sean Hannity and his repressed sexual urges).

October 1, 2009April 28, 2011

The Jay Leno Show Has Failed

Based on last night’s overnight ratings (September 30, 2009: 4.1/7), the above headline is what nearly every television production executive is screaming down the halls today (with the exception of those at NBC Universal. They’re probably screaming something like… Will Comcast contribute to my 401K? What happens to our stock options?, etc.).

Now, a 4.1/7 is a grand slam on The CW. If every show on The CW got a 4.1/7, Dawn Ostroff (President) would be carried around on one of those Cleopatra-type chairs. However, this is NBC and this is Jay Leno. We’ve heard from stories past (lies in my opinion), that Jay only needs to “get a 1.5 rating (A18-49) to make $300 million a year for NBC”. So a 4.1/7 is comfortably in that range – but still pathetic based on pre-season expectations.

However, there is a way that NBC can save face in the middle of this debacle. They don’t even need to cancel The Jay Leno Show (why would you when you’re making that kind of bank? I’m sure Comcast will do a complete audit in due-diligence – so one day we’ll know for sure).

Here’s what you do, NBC: BUY BILLBOARDS strategically-positioned around every major television production facility (as demonstrated below). Every week, update the profit number of The Jay Leno Show and then put a tag at the bottom that reads something like: “Hey TV Execs, how are your fall shows doing? Throwing Off Any Cash?”

This would bring home the fact that The Jay Leno Show HAS NOT FAILED. It might just stop this town from obsessing over ratings and fucking market share. Ask The Food Network about their profits? I think they’ll tell you they’re doing just fine. And when was the last time they got even a 1.0/3 share? It means nothing.

But, NBC, you have lost the PR war and it’s time to fight back. Forget trying to put TV stars from other networks on with Jay. Jay is about movie stars and pop icons. Fuck Julianna Margulies, Jay. You don’t need her or her TV friends and complaining in the media about it makes you look like a pussy (even more so).

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – I have nothing against Julianna Margulies. Big fan. She’s just F-ed by example.

October 1, 2009April 29, 2011

Comcast Acquires NBC Universal?

“COMCAST DENIES A DEAL IS DONE, BUT DOES NOT DENY TALKS.” Are you really fucking kidding me, Sharon?

So this is the way it’s going to be? Semantics.

Everyone in the world with a blog could report anything (anything) and find a way to call it a true story.

My five-year-old daughter could tell me she knows where Iran is hiding a nuclear bomb and I could report: “A trusted source tells me that Iran is hiding a nuclear bomb in a closet in La Canada.” I do consider my daughter to be “trusted”. She’s the “source”. Iran would come out immediately and call the story “inaccurate” – but I wouldn’t be a liar.

I’m stunned that nobody calls bullshit on a story that mentions quite a few details about a deal that is far from complete.

Yet nobody calls Sharon Waxman at TheWrap.com a liar. Semantics. Or… I suppose, because nobody really cares. TheWrap.com got everything it needed from this story. National exposure. Who cares if it’s “inaccurate”? That’s not the point.

Comcast and GE get everything they want out of the story – a test of the market to see what the rumor, if true, would do to their stock prices.

Even so, it’s absolutely ridiculous.

“Comcast is in talks to buy the entertainment giant NBC Universal from General Electric… ACCORDING TO KNOWLEDGEABLE INDIVIDUALS.” WTF does that mean? I consider myself to be a “knowledgeable individual” – does that mean I could have been a source even if I didn’t know about the meeting?

“Deal points were hammered out…EXECUTIVES FAMILIAR WITH THE MEETING SAID.”

Who are these “Knowledgeable Individuals” and “Executives Familiar With The Meeting” – and why the fuck are they talking to TheWrap.com?

Are “Sources” protected in online journalism? What kind of a crazy-fucking world is it when Nikki Finke is the reserved one in a big entertainment business story like this? Maybe it’s because she didn’t break the story and would love to see it discredited. Actually, not “maybe” – I’m sure she wants to see it discredited.

The biggest surprise of all is that nobody is calling bullshit or lies lies lies. In today’s journalistic environment, that means the story is, most likely, true. And if I had the chance and “sources” to break this story, I would have done the same thing.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

September 25, 2009April 29, 2011

The Beautiful Life: TBL – CANCELLED!

Adam Giaudrone, Ari Emanuel, Ashley Madekwe, Ashton Kutcher, Benjamin Hollingsworth, Corbin Bleu, Dawn Ostroff, Dawn Tarnofsky, Deadline Hollywood, Elle Macpherson, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Mike Kelley, Mischa Barton, Nico Tortorella, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Sara Paxton, Shane Newville, Sharon Waxman, Swingtown, Terry Semel, The CW, The Vampire Diaries, thewrap.com

After only two pathetically rated episodes, The Beautiful Life: TBL has the distinction of being the first show cancelled of the 2009/2010 television season.

Sorry Mischa. You heard it here first… last week.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea