Tag: Archie bunker

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Pension Fund Shot?

Retirement money dried up?

Stop your bitching and do what me and Mrs. Aldrich do – EAT DOG FOOD.  And not that premium Alpo crap – I’m talking Chappie Original Dog Food Meal!

AARP, Afghanistan, aging, Alf Landon, All In The Family, Alpo, Andy Rooney, Antonio ( "El Bailarín" ) Ruiz Soler, Arbys, Archie bunker, Ari Emanuel, Art LInkletter, Ben Silverman, bleeding from the ass, brown spot on stomach, cannibalism, Carmen Amaya, Chappie, Charles de Gaulle, Chiang Kai-Shek, Chinese Civil War, CNN, colon bleeding, colostomy bag, Communists, Confucius, Ding Dong Ditch 'em, Dog Food, dope smoking, Douglas Macarthur, east lansing, East Lansing, Edgard de Larminat, El Farruco, elephant toilet, Erich Von Manstein, Flamenco, Flaming bags of manure, Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Friendship 7, Garrison Keillor, George Burns, George Herbert Walker Bush, Iraq, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, John Glenn, José Greco, Joseph de Goislard de Monsabert, Juan Manuel ( "El Farruquito" ) Fernández, Khan Manka, Korean War, korean war, La Argentina, La Argentinita, la trucha, lansing state journal, Lawrence Welk, Lester, lester aldrich, Lew Wasserman, Maginot Line, Manka Bros., manka bros., Mercury Atlas 6, Michigan, octogenarian, Octogenarian Revolution, old man blog, Paul Harvey, Rupert Murdoch, Satan, Seven Plagues of the Bible, Spain during World War 2, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, those damn kids, Those Damn Kids, VFW Hall, Vicente Escudero, Vietnam War, Virg Bernero, VJ Day, World War 2, World's largest Media Company

Me and the Mrs. have been through tougher times than this.  A 39 cent can of dog food is a goddamned feast compared to what we used to eat.

Every time I see Those Damn Kids out on my lawn eating ice cream like it’s VJ Day, I just want to take the flag off my porch, impale them and carry them back to the depression where after we ran out of dirt to eat, we were forced to eat the termites that were eating our house.

I don’t know who’s to blame for this economic crisis (George Bush, Barack Obama, Lansing Mayor Virg Bernero, Those Damn Kids) – frankly, I don’t care.

Not as long as there is decent food to be had for $0.39!

I’ll talk at you next week…

AARP, Alf Landon, Arbys, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, cannibalism, CNN, east lansing, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, korean war, lester aldrich, manka bros., Michigan, octogenarian, those damn kids, World's largest Media Company, Paul Harvey, Art LInklletter, Lawrence Welk, Garrison Keillor, Andy Rooney, Douglas MacarthurLester Aldrich – Those Damn Kids

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Things Aren’t As Funny As They Used To Be

 

Here it is, another morning that I managed to wake up.  Jesus fucking Christ.  Oh, well…

As I edge toward my 90s, things aren’t as funny as they used to be.

It’s not as funny when Mrs. Aldrich falls down the steps.  She gets hurt now and I have to get out of my chair to do something about it.

It’s not as funny on the Archie Bunker show when they flush the toilet.  It used to be so funny.  But that was 40 years ago.

It’s not as funny when I see Those Damn Kids fall down on their skateboards and break their legs.  There was a time a few years ago when I would laugh for days when that happened.  Now it’s just a couple of chuckles and I’m done with it.

Maybe it’s this terrible recession and my retirement savings going down the drain – or maybe it’s my horrible eyesight and my inability to see the television too clearly – or maybe I’m just dying and that’s just not as funny as it used to be.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

I’ll talk at you next week…

AARP, Alf Landon, Arbys, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, cannibalism, CNN, east lansing, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, korean war, lester aldrich, manka bros., Michigan, octogenarian, those damn kids, World's largest Media Company, Paul Harvey, Art LInklletter, Lawrence Welk, Garrison Keillor, Andy Rooney, Douglas MacarthurLester Aldrich – Those Damn Kids