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Manka Bros. Will Not Be Attending The Sundance Film Festival... - Khan Manka, Jr. - The Chairman's Blog

Manka Bros. Will Not Be Attending The Sundance Film Festival...

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sundance_film_festival_image.jpgGood morning.  This is to all the acquisition and distribution executives at Manka Highbrow, Manka Dogme and Manka Docs - due to budgetary constraints, you will not be attending the Sundance Film Festival this year.  If you desperately feel the need to attend in order to bid on a movie about Native American pedophiles, then I suggest you quit your job and start a new company that specializes in distributing videos shot on camcorders.

When the economy was good, this was not an issue for us.  Sometimes we even got lucky - for instance, last year when we picked up the rights to Snuffing Out The Magic Fury (opening in theaters next month).  But, too bad, junior executives, there will be no more $600 a night rooms with $1,000 a night "entertainment" bar tabs while you try to sleep with 22-year-old "directors" who would do anything to get their $300 film about an autistic coal miner distributed by a major Hollywood studio.

I realize you've probably already purchased your $400 ski caps that you were planning on wearing throughout the festival because independent film makers are way too cool to shower (so you have to be just like them).  I guess you'll have to return those at lunch today.

We have a new theatrical policy here at Manka Bros. - WE WILL NOT PRODUCE OR DISTRIBUTE ANY FILM THAT DOES NOT MAKE MONEY!

So for the young writers and directors of the world who make films about the various plights of high school geeks; immigrants trying to survive in modern day Mobile, Alabama; poets trying to break free from their oppressive capitalist "day jobs"; cancer movies of every size and shape; and, my favorite, movies about filmmakers trying to get their films made in Hollywood where everyone who works at a studio is some kind of idiot - I'm sorry, you'll have to find some other sucker to distribute your story that MUST BE TOLD.  I hear The Weinstein Company has about $200 left from their billion dollar war chest.

khan_jr1_small.jpgKhan Manka, Jr. - Chairman & CEO - Manka Bros. Studios
The World's Largest Media Company

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10 Comments

Hollywood Producer said:

So cynical, Khan. And your last blog was "A Time For Optimism". Are you bipolar?

Janis Orlevsky said:

I figured as much - I had already curtailed most travel over the next few months. But I will stop all travel completely now. I suppose the filmmakers can come to us with their movies.

Janis Orlevsky,
President - Manka Highbrow

Robin Rafe said:

Good idea, sir. We have a full slate that we don't even know what to do with. We don't need a bunch of $1 - 2 million movies when we have $100 million dollar movies to worry about.

Robin Rafe - President - Manka Bros. Theatrical Group

Jonny Filmmaker said:

But I need your millions of dollars to pursue my dream of being a super rich filmmaker!

Losers!

Jonny Filmmaker

bob Raffinski said:

You guys always just come up to drink heavily and never bid on shit. We don't need you here anyway!

Typewriter Monkey said:

You guys ain't missing much.

Michael Schneider said:

Here's a crazy prediction... only one film gets picked up this year (don't ask me which one because I have no idea).

LeviHarris said:

You're crazy, Michael. Studios need low cost movies that are made without a development process. I think 6 or 7 movies get picked up. Documentaries, not so much. I'm surprised channel like Discovery and PBS don't go out get some of these docs for a straight to TV release. It would be cost effective.

LH

Michael.Schneider said:

I guess we won't know anything until after the fest, LH. I, actually, hope you're right. It wouldn't be healthy if I was right.

LeviHarris said:

Hey Michael Schneider... you were wrong. There were about 10 movies that got picked up. Not for a lot of money but still picked up.

About Khan Manka, Jr.

Khan Manka, Jr. - Chairman & CEO - Manka Bros. StudiosKhan Manka, Jr. assumed the title of Chairman of the Board of Manka Bros. Studios - The World's Largest Media Company - following his father Harry Manka's death in 1976. Before that he was the member of several Southern California rock bands.

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