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Mogul Meeting - The Future Of Entertainment - Khan Manka, Jr. - The Chairman's Blog

Mogul Meeting - The Future Of Entertainment

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saddlepeak_lodge.jpgGood morning.  Yesterday, I was involved in a fucking weird meeting of the minds.  It was a lunch with some of the top media moguls in the world.  For some ridiculous reason, it was held at the Saddlepeak Lodge in someplace called Calabasas, California.  I had never heard of this place - and was surprised that it was only ten minutes away by helicopter.

The attendees were:  Myself (Khan Manka, Jr. - Manka Bros.), Sumner Redstone (Viacom, CBS), Jeff Zucker (NBC Universal), Jeffrey Katzenberg (DreamWorks), Robert Iger (Disney) and - via videophone from Davos, Switzerland - Rupert Murdoch (News Corporation, Fox).

The restaurant menu was absolutely disgusting.  Wild game and mountainous plants seemed to be the main theme.  But eating was not supposed to be the focus of the meeting.  We were there to discuss the Future of Entertainment and how we will all survive in this global fucking catastrophic economic meltdown that is currently happening.

rupert_murdoch_small.jpgI immediately got a sad glimpse of the future as we waited and waited while some tech lackey attempted to get Rupert's video link hooked up to our private room (which had several heads of many different animals - from Moose to Rat - hanging from the walls).  On the video screen, all we could see was a faint signal of Rupert popping in and out saying stuff like 'fuck this', 'fucking idiots', 'this is bullshit', 'do you know who I am, goddamnit?', etc.

canadian_rocky_mountain_squirrel.jpgI knew why this restaurant was picked when I heard Jeff Zucker say:  "Try the squirrel porridge, it's unbelievable."  There was a  quick discussion between Katzenberg and Zucker over whether they used Mexican or American squirrel.  The waiter solved the issue:  It was Canadian Rocky Mountain Squirrel - that's why it cost $22.50 a bowl.

After a few more minutes of this bullshit, I felt I needed to get things rolling. 

(The following is my attempt to reconstruct the meeting... there is probably some paraphrasing here).

Khan Manka, Jr.:  "Thanks everyone for coming out.  I would like to thank Jeff Zucker for inviting us to this bizarre place.  The people in this room determine how, when, where and why the world will be entertained in the future.  It is a great responsibility and it is up to us to figure it all out."

Zucker2.jpgJeff Zucker looked up from his West Texas Antelope Steak (which looked raw) and set the tone for the meeting:  "Fuck the world.  They do whatever we say they should do.  If we say 'buy Blu-ray DVDs', they do it.  If we say 'download all the movies you've already bought on Blu-ray onto a little box on your TV', they do it.  We tell them when to wipe their ass and they say 'Thank you, sir.'

Jeffrey Katzenberg:  The future is 3-fucking-D.  Have you seen the Super Bowl ad for Monsters vs. Aliens?  That's the future, my friends, and I own it, bitches!

Sumner Redstone:  Do you think the waitress would have intercourse with me?  Somebody tell her how much money I have.

robert_iger_small.jpgRupert Murdoch (over satellite):  God... damn... what the... it's freakin' cold... I'll bomb your ass back to Serbia...

Robert Iger:  I think we need to have some sort of agenda and we all need to stop talking over one another.

Jeff Zucker:  I'll take it, Bob.  SHUT THE FUCK UP! 

There was a brief silence with confused looks all around.  Then everyone in the room sort of exploded.

Everyone:  Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?... What did you just say to me, Zucker?!!!... You don't talk to me like that pipsqueak...?  Etc.

zucker_3.jpgJeff Zucker (chewing - a piece of meat hanging out of his mouth):  Whatever?  Do whatever the fuck you want?  Like I give a shit about your businesses.  We'll crush you all.  The future of media is me!

At this point, either Katzenberg or Redstone threw their salad at Zucker, who then smashed his wine glass on the table - preparing to cut whomever threw the food. 

Knowing that the press was bound to hear about this debacle, I decided it was best to get out of there.  So I slipped out a back door, got on my chopper and flew back to the studio.

I'm not sure how the rest of the meeting went and what the future of media is.  What I do know is that we had better find a way to work together or we'll all be out of business.

If we've learned anything over the past few months, it's that no one is immune and even the World's Largest Media Company can fail.

So let's all keep our noses to the grindstone and find a way to dig ourselves out of this mess.

khan_jr1_small.jpgKhan Manka, Jr. - Chairman & CEO - Manka Bros. Studios

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Hollywood Producer said:

Unbelievable! Moguls acting like children. I'm surprised it hasn't hit the wires.

David Chang said:

Believe me, Hprod, we're doing everything we can to KEEP IT FROM GETTING TO THE WIRES. It doesn't look good for the industry or for Manka Bros.

David Chang - CFO - Manka Bros. Studios

Hollywood Producer said:

Ah... makes sense.

Molly Glover said:

I've eaten at the Saddleback Inn (is it Inn or Lodge) and it is disgusting. Animal heads everywhere. They do have a few "regular" items on the menu - but it's just such an unappetizing atmosphere. Unless you're Ted Nugent.

Lance Maukler said:

Poor Sumner. Can't even get laid.

John Perry said:

My nose is to the grindstone, sir. We're all working very hard in the TV division to make great shows.

John Perry - MBS Comedy Development

Blake T. said:

God, I wish that was true. I love the image of Zucker with raw meat hanging out of his mouth.

About Khan Manka, Jr.

Khan Manka, Jr. - Chairman & CEO - Manka Bros. StudiosKhan Manka, Jr. assumed the title of Chairman of the Board of Manka Bros. Studios - The World's Largest Media Company - following his father Harry Manka's death in 1976. Before that he was the member of several Southern California rock bands.

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