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Chelsea Clinton's Wedding - Khan Manka, Jr. - The Chairman's Blog

Chelsea Clinton's Wedding

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chelsea_clinton_wedding_photo_1.jpgNow I know what it would be like to live in the Iraqi Green Zone.  It would suck. 

I am now safely on the deck of my Montauk house after a successful air lifting out of Rhinebeck yesterday afternoon. 

Before I was allowed on the chopper, a few of us were given one final harsh debriefing by the General in charge of wedding security about never repeating what we witnessed this past weekend. 

Ted Danson was sitting next to me and said it reminded him of the St. Crispin's Day speech from Shakespeare's Henry V.  I asked him 'What the fuck does Becker know about Shakespeare?'  Ted told me he was Ted Danson and not 'Becker''Becker' was just a role he played.  I then called him 'Becker' again just to end the conversation.  I don't even know why he was invited to the wedding.

[As a side note, I'm very surprised not to see more studio moguls at the wedding.  Other than Ted Turner, Steven Spielberg and me, it was a pretty lame turnout.  I don't know why I was expecting it to be more like Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference.  Oh well, I suppose I'm honored just to have made the cut.]

I had my assistant, Vicky, send me a copy of the St. Crispin's Day speech and it really was a rewritten version of that speech.  'Becker's' not such an idiot after all.  It went something like this:

'We few, we happy few...
We band of brothers (and sisters) who were
Witness to Chelsea and Marc's great day
Must never (NEVER) repeat that which so many in the media
Would give their lives to know the truth... etc. etc.')'

Because of the stupidity of that speech and the over the top security measures, I am forced to break from my band of elite brothers and sisters and will reveal a few details about the (for the most part) very pleasant wedding I attended this weekend.

bowzer_from_sha_na_na.jpgFirst of all, somebody could have told me Bowzer is no longer in Sha Na Na!  As I mentioned last week, once I heard Sha Na Na was the wedding band, I was very excited.  I'm a huge Bowzer fan.  Dude does not get the credit he deserves as a pioneer of rock and roll. 

In his place was something called the "Bowzer Experience" - it was three different guys dressed as Bowzer in different stages of his life (Kid, Young Adult and Old Bowzer). 

Former President Bill Clinton was also very upset that he was having to pay for a 'sub-par Sha Na Na'.  He leaned over to me at one point and said:  "I think there's only one guy from the original Sha Na Na.  This is bullshit.  These guys look like they just came from a State Fair!"

That said, once they ripped into Chuck Berry's 'My Ding-a-ling' there wasn't a spot to be had on the dance floor.  Everybody (from Madeleine Albright to former Labor Secretary Robert Reich) was hopping and shaking to the music. 

Other highlights included: 

  • Bill Clinton's heartfelt toast to Chelsea and Marc.  While it was a beautiful, well-spoken toast, I was surprise that Korbel was the 'champagne' of choice.  Supposedly, it has been Chelsea's favorite since college.

  • I also felt having White Castle hamburgers as an appetizer was a little too low rent - more Arkansas than Hudson Valley (though that was the only appetizer they ran out of).

  • The Whoopee Cushions placed in the chairs at the wedding party's table was also a bizarre choice (though it did get all the intended the laughs and really loosened up the room).  It just seemed inappropriate for such a refined event.  But maybe that's why most people in this country still love the Clintons.  No one laughed louder than Bill when they all sat down. 

  • Most of the drunkenness was kept to a minimum.  I think the guests were well aware that any falls into the wedding cake or slips on the dance floor or throwing up on the Queen of Norway was going to haunt them forever.  So it was, on a whole, a very boring night.
david_blaine.jpgThere was, however, one very cool thing which happened toward the end of the evening.  The illusionist David Blaine was hired to go from table to table to do close-up magic, levitate the guests, etc. (he was certainly making a lot of Bourbon disappear). 

As one final trick, he asked everyone to  take off their right shoe.  "Now look on the bottom."

Taped to the bottom of everyone's right shoe was a $100 gift card from Best Buy with a note:  "Thanks so much for making our dream day a reality.  XXOO Chelsea and Marc."

As corny as it was, you can now get a Blu-ray player for around $100.  So I know what I'm getting with my gift card.

khan_jr1_small.jpgKhan Manka, Jr. - Chairman & CEO - Manka Bros. Studios - The World's Largest Media Company

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morris wise said:

The Clinton family, bankers, and the professionals who were at the most beautiful wedding of the 21 century were only a partial display of 50 million cognitively elite Americans, they alone keep America great. The rest of the population can be exchanged for Mexicans with no difference to the economy or quality of the nation.

disappointed said:

It's a shame about Bowzer. Rush Limbaugh had Elton John perform at his wedding. The Clintons couldn't even the real Sha Na Na. That's just sad.

John Davies said:

Who the fuck is Chelsea Clinton?

Anonymous said:

You did a great job, not giving too much. Glad to here you had fun and thanks for the update.

Jill Kennedy said:

Shutting out the media was an odd choice for such a public family.

oakwood said:

I can only assume this blog is satire (ie. this guy is not the CEO of whoever). Funny if it is. If not, then sad for the blogger.

Roosky Red said:

That place is going to be huge for rich people's weddings for years to come. I hear they're selling it. Perfect timing. it will never be more valuable than it is right now.

DrBukk said:

Hilarious! Thanks for your review. Mark Twain is your muse, I presume.

nathalie from montreal said:

you are too hilarious. i do not know you but i will come back and read your comments again. have a long life darling.

Read more about Chelsea Clinton's Wedding on
Congratulations to Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky on their wedding from UIONV. Mazel Tov, Chelsea and Marc.

Michael said:

Manka Bros. Studios Proposes Acquisition of UIONV for $26 per Share.

Bob said:

That wedding sounds more fun than the actual one.

rainbow warrior said:

David Blaine's best trick yet. Final a trick that has value and not some bullshit hypmotism crap.

About Khan Manka, Jr.

Khan Manka, Jr. - Chairman & CEO - Manka Bros. StudiosKhan Manka, Jr. assumed the title of Chairman of the Board of Manka Bros. Studios - The World's Largest Media Company - following his father Harry Manka's death in 1976. Before that he was the member of several Southern California rock bands.

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