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Dick Shepherd came by the house a couple weeks ago... - OCTOGENARIAN: Those Damn Kids

Dick Shepherd came by the house a couple weeks ago...

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tiger_woods.jpgDick Shepherd came by the house a couple weeks ago and we watched golf on television.  Damn, if that black Chinese kid can't play golf.  Shep has been an acquaintance of mine for over 65 years.  Neither one of us left the neighborhood after the war like so many others I used to know that are long since dead.

Shep moved to East Lancing in 1935 from Hawaii.  And like everyone from that stupid "state", he's about as smart as a coconut.  He's got six stupid grandchildren that like to do stuff like hide his dentures and spray him with the hose.

It was hot that day, so THOSE DAMN KIDS from the neighborhood were most likely pissing all over the mall urinals and watching another two hours of Hollywood tripe.  This is not a complaint.  I'm grateful to God for the afternoon of peace.

On a day like this, a precision bombing campaign on the malls of America could wipe out a good portion of those bastards that infest my daily life.

But back to Shep.  He's got one kidney, half a tongue and a quarter lung left.  Doctors say, once he gets down an eighth of a lung he can begin the countdown to his death.  Shep's looking forward to that countdown - aren't we all.  He still smokes and chews tobacco at the same time.  Good ol' Shep.

So we're watching this golf tournament and every one of the damn commercials is about retirement planning or erectile penile disorder.  Is every man who watches golf impotent and in need of financial advice?  I had no idea this was going on in this country.

Maybe this sort of dysfunction is happening at ol' half-tongue Shep's place - but when me and the Mrs. were in our prime, there was never a problem with the plumbing!  Just go ahead and ask her!

I'll talk at you next week...

lester aldrich_small.jpg

Lester Aldrich is a freelance columnist for Octogenarian MagazineManka Bros. Studios is not responsible for any action by our freelance writers.  If Mr. Aldrich actually kills someone, that's his problem. Manka Bros. cannot be held accountable.

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About Lester Aldrich

Lester Aldrich - Those Damn Kids - Manka Bros. - Octogenarian

Lester Aldrich is a World War 2 and Korean War veteran. He has been a contributing writer for Manka Bros.' Octogenarian Mankazine since he turned 80 (eight years ago). He lives in East Lansing, Michigan with his wife of 65 years and really hates THOSE DAMN KIDS.


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