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OCTOGENARIAN: Those Damn Kids: January 2010 Archives

January 2010 Archives

Pension Fund Shot?

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Retirement money dried up?  Stop your bitching and do what me and Mrs. Aldrich do - EAT DOG FOOD.  And not that premium Alpo crap - I'm talking Chappie Original Dog Food Meal!

dog food.jpgMe and the Mrs. have been through tougher times than this.  A 39 cent can of dog food is a goddamned feast compared to what we used to eat.  Every time I see Those Damn Kids out on my lawn eating ice cream like it's VJ Day, I just want to take the flag off my porch, impale them and carry them back to the depression where after we ran out of dirt to eat, we were forced to eat the termites that were eating our house.

I don't know who's to blame for this economic crisis (George Bush, Barack Obama, Lansing Mayor Virg Bernero, Those Damn Kids) - frankly, I don't care.  Not as long as there is decent food to be had for $0.39!

I'll talk at you next week...

lester aldrich_small.jpgLester Aldrich is a freelance columnist for Octogenarian MagazineManka Bros. Studios is not responsible for any action by our freelance writers.  If Mr. Aldrich actually kills someone, that's his problem. Manka Bros. cannot be held accountable.

Hello, this is Mrs. Aldrich. I am married to Lester Aldrich who is the author of this newspaper column or whatever you would call it.

Lester forgot to take all of his pills this morning and is unable to straighten out his fingers to write this column.

He says that normally he wouldn't mention something like this to all the world, but he thought it would be a helpful way to remind everyone to take all your pills when you are supposed to. Unless you are one of THOSE DAMN KIDS, then you can go ahead and forgot your medication altogether which will hopefully result in your death.

Thank you.

He will talk at you next week...

lester aldrich_small.jpg

Lester Aldrich is a freelance columnist for Octogenarian MagazineManka Bros. Studios is not responsible for any action by our freelance writers.  If Mr. Aldrich actually kills someone, that's his problem. Manka Bros. cannot be held accountable.

About Lester Aldrich

Lester Aldrich - Those Damn Kids - Manka Bros. - Octogenarian

Lester Aldrich is a World War 2 and Korean War veteran. He has been a contributing writer for Manka Bros.' Octogenarian Mankazine since he turned 80 (eight years ago). He lives in East Lansing, Michigan with his wife of 65 years and really hates THOSE DAMN KIDS.

 

 

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