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OCTOGENARIAN: Those Damn Kids: September 2010 Archives

September 2010 Archives

COLOSTOMY_BAG.jpgI just want to say for the record on this world wide web I type on every week - FUCK MY COLOSTOMY BAG.  FUCK IT ALL TO HELL!!

You see, sometimes old people like George Burns are allowed to smoke and function normally until they die peacefully at the age of 100 and others, like me, can't shit past 80.

lester_aldrich_bbq.jpgWe had a bunch of assholes from my family (no pun) over to the house yesterday to watch Tigers baseball and have a BBQ.  It was a goddamned embarrassment and fucking lack of respect! 

All day long I had to listen to THOSE DAMN KIDS from the neighborhood that my bitch of a wife invited and also my grandkids and great-grandkids giggle at the fact that Grandpa Lester could only eat Jello and was only allowed one beer (light beer!) the entire day!

I'll say it again - FUCK MY COLOSTOMY BAG.  FUCK IT ALL TO HELL!!

They grilled the burgers right in front of me and made big jokes as they munched on hot dogs and potato chips and all drank till they were drunk!  May Satan fuck them all in Hell!

If it weren't for Mrs. Aldrich's 'attention must be paid' prayer mentioning me to our Lord, I would have felt that I was already dead. 

Now I know why ol' Dick Shepherd keeps trying to shoot himself. 

I will always remember Summer as the season I lost the use of my ass. 

I'll talk at you next week...

lester aldrich_small.jpgLester Aldrich is a freelance columnist for Octogenarian MagazineManka Bros. Studios is not responsible for any action by our freelance writers.  If Mr. Aldrich actually kills someone, that's his problem. Manka Bros. cannot be held accountable.

About Lester Aldrich

Lester Aldrich - Those Damn Kids - Manka Bros. - Octogenarian

Lester Aldrich is a World War 2 and Korean War veteran. He has been a contributing writer for Manka Bros.' Octogenarian Mankazine since he turned 80 (eight years ago). He lives in East Lansing, Michigan with his wife of 65 years and really hates THOSE DAMN KIDS.

 

 

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