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The long-haired homosexuals from Cuddly Creatures came by yesterday... - OCTOGENARIAN: Those Damn Kids

The long-haired homosexuals from Cuddly Creatures came by yesterday...

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cat with orange spot.jpgThe long-haired homosexuals from Cuddly Creatures™ came by yesterday with some animals that we could pet for the afternoon.  The bleeding ass liberals started this program to comfort the lonely and old with an hour or two of furry love.  My retarded son and his wife, Tokyo Rose, feels that we are too old to handle the responsibility of a little pet, so we have these queers come out once a month with animals because Mrs. Aldrich likes to pet cats.

That's all well and good.  But every damn time the van pulls up, THOSE DAMN KIDS from the neighborhood flock around and follow those Peter Pipers into my house like some freakshow version of Pied Piper.  "Can we pet your cat?"  They'd say. "No!"  I'd say. "Get your chocolate and marijuana hands out of my house!"


But those butt pirates always let the kids in on Mrs. Aldrich's action. They all have a high ho time petting these drugged up cats who just lay there waiting to die.

The one with the orange spot on his nose is Mrs. Aldrich's favorite. Snotlick from two doors down thinks the way to hold a cat is by the arms.  Seeing that cat hang there in agony reminded me of so many of my buddies who had to endure Japanese torture chambers.

I looked at that cat.  That cat looked at me.  With my eyes I told that cat not to worry, Snotlick will be dead soon.

Mrs. Aldrich always cries when they take the cats away. That's the only reason I let them come back every month.

As Cuddly Creatures™ pulled away, and Those Damn Kids returned to throwing rocks at squirrels, I decided to go to bed.

I'll talk at you next week...

lester aldrich_small.jpg

Lester Aldrich is a freelance columnist for Octogenarian MagazineManka Bros. Studios is not responsible for any action by our freelance writers.  If Mr. Aldrich actually kills someone, that's his problem. Manka Bros. cannot be held accountable.

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About Lester Aldrich

Lester Aldrich - Those Damn Kids - Manka Bros. - Octogenarian

Lester Aldrich is a World War 2 and Korean War veteran. He has been a contributing writer for Manka Bros.' Octogenarian Mankazine since he turned 80 (eight years ago). He lives in East Lansing, Michigan with his wife of 65 years and really hates THOSE DAMN KIDS.


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