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UPDATE:  The original CBS Films R.I.P. post below was written on January 25, 2010, right after "Extraordinary Measures" starring Harrison Ford and Brendan Fraser flopped. 

The latest CBS Films release to flop is "Beastly" starring actors who didn't get cast in "Twilight".  This modern take on "Beauty and the Beast" (one of an endless stream of upcoming Fairy Tale Movies) had an opening weekend of about $10 million (on the high end). 

While this one is not a complete disaster and may only lose a couple of million, it won't, by any means, be able to save the life of the division.

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CBS Films - R.I.P. (January 25, 2010)

I'm actually surprised there isn't more inside media coverage of the disastrous debut of CBS Films' first release - "Extraordinary Measures" starring Harrison Ford and Brendan Fraser ($6.0 Million opening weekend from over 2,500 theaters - finishing 8th behind "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel" in its 5th week). 

I realize the Jay/Dave/Conan/Jeff Zucker drama is a much sexier story but CBS Films' failure is another example of the cocksure executive that believes he can do no wrong. 

Les Moonves, former bit player on "The Six Million Dollar Man" turned powerful CBS media mogul, is the exec on the hot seat this time.  (Personally, I can imagine Jeff Zucker pushing this story just to get his name out of the press.)

Four years ago, when Sumner Redstone was completing the disastrous Viacom / CBS split, Mr. Moonves wanted Paramount Pictures so badly that when he didn't get it, he decided he could create a new Paramount Pictures from scratch - CBS Films.

It's a cold Monday morning at Black Rock today.

I'm assuming there will be two maybe three more failed releases in 2010 and then a decision to "refocus CBS' energies on our booming cable network distribution platforms and new media" (translation: the end of CBS Films).

The R.I.P. tombstone above is generous in giving CBS Films a four year lifespan (2007-2010) considering the first release wasn't until this past weekend - but I think three years of staffing up and development does count as being in business.

Another possibility for CBS would be to acquire Summit Entertainment.  At least then they would have two guaranteed hits in the pipeline - the final two "Twilight" movies.

Or... my personal dream plan, somehow have CBS either acquire or wrest away Paramount from Viacom.  News Corporation buys the cable channels from Viacom (assets they sorely need).  Viacom shuts down thus getting us one step closer to saying bye-bye to Sumner Redstone forever.

Regardless of what happens, CBS' old media experiment is not going to make it.  But Les Moonves can take solace in the fact that a very exciting Super Bowl is coming to CBS and he still runs one of the top two broadcast networks in the country. 

There was a time when that would have been enough for one man.

Jill Kennedy - OnMedea

For Broadcast Networks, the end is coming and it's time for them to Accept their fate.

This isn't to say ABC, CBS, FOX, MBS, NBC, Univision and The CW (and similar Broadcast Networks around the world) are going away.  They'll just have to transform into one of the million other "Channels" out there - high profile Channels with good programming and production values - but still just another button on the Great Media Grid like ESPN, TNT, USA, Oxygen, Justin.tv (indeed), YouTube, etc.

According to a model developed by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book "On Death and Dying", there are Five Stages of Grief. 

Over the past 20 years or so, Broadcast Networks have bounced around the First Four Stages in an effort to fight off the inevitable:

1.  Denial:  Broadcast Networks will always be the only place to reach a large audience.  We don't see that ever going away.  No one is going to watch the shit they make on Cable.  It's nothing but George Foreman Grill infomercials and drunken Jackass teenagers riding their bikes into traffic.

2.  Anger:  It's just not right!  They make such crap on Basic Cable.  How are they pulling in more advertising than us?!  I don't give a shit about the ratings of "Jersey Shore", the content on Broadcast Networks is far superior and always will be.  Goddamnit!  And don't you dare mention that fucking "Mad Men" to me again!  And Hell will freeze over before we ever produce a series for that inferior platform  There's no syndication value.  It's bullshit!

3.  Bargaining:  The playing field is not level.  It's not fair.  We really need you cable and satellite operators to pay us to retransmit our signal.  Don't forget - we're the Broadcast Networks.  If you give us two revenue streams, we'll give you really great programming with high ratings and advertising rates that are healthy for everyone.  Don't you realize there is only one place to reach a large audience?

4.  Depression:  Remember when Saturday night was the greatest night on television - when three networks (and three network Presidents) controlled every household?  Everyone had incredible line-ups.  It will never be that good again.  Thursday night used to be a place where advertisers needed us to launch a new movie or car or department store sales.  Those were the days.  Oh well, at least we still have our beach houses and court side basketball seats.

5.  Acceptance:  It's going to be okay.  It's not so bad to be equated with TBS.  I mean, they have Conan O'Brien now.  They are sort of like a Broadcast Network.  And we're still bigger than most of the other Channels.  And we'll get the Super Bowl back one day (after ESPN and The Food Network have their turns).  It's all good.

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The death of Broadcast Networks may not happen in the next five years but it IS going to happen and the sooner we put them out of their misery and end that painful decline, the faster the industry can heal and begin to grow again. 

Make no mistake, nothing can be done to save Broadcast Networks.  It's an old concept in a new world. 

For old school TV executives and their Madison Avenue chronies who are accustomed to lavish Upfront Presentations at Carnegie Hall, Madison Square Garden and the International Space Station, it's time to just let it go.  The Days of Wine and Roses and Fine Dining and Muffin Baskets are over.

Broadcast Network defenders (yes, Les Moonves, this means you) are becoming pathetic.  Face the facts, ESPN and Google are more valuable than CBS.  It may not seem fair - but there are many new Sheriffs in town.   Remember, if  you're in a business where single-digit drops in viewers is the New Growth, your business sucks.

So what are the Broadcast Networks supposed to do next?  Very simple.  Just accept equal footing (two revenue streams - subscription and advertising - enough with this silly Retrans business that no one can understand) and continue to run your business as just another Channel on the Grid. 

In the future (and it's coming), with a channel lineup grid that will be sorted Alphabetically and not by "importance" or "size" (and will include TV channels, websites and whatever else comes up) programming is, as it always has been, King . 

And may the best programmer win.

Jill Kennedy - OnMedea

I'm actually surprised there isn't more inside media coverage of the disastrous debut of CBS Films' first release - "Extraordinary Measures" starring Harrison Ford and Brendan Fraser ($6.0 Million opening weekend from over 2,500 theaters - finishing 8th behind "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel" in its 5th week). 

I realize the Jay/Dave/Conan/Jeff Zucker drama is a much sexier story but CBS Films' failure is another example of the cocksure executive that believes he can do no wrong. 

Les Moonves, former bit player on "The Six Million Dollar Man" turned powerful CBS media mogul, is the exec on the hot seat this time.  (Personally, I can imagine Jeff Zucker pushing this story just to get his name out of the press.)

Four years ago, when Sumner Redstone was completing the disastrous Viacom / CBS split, Mr. Moonves wanted Paramount Pictures so badly that when he didn't get it, he decided he could create a new Paramount Pictures from scratch - CBS Films.

It's a cold Monday morning at Black Rock today.

I'm assuming there will be two maybe three more failed releases in 2010 and then a decision to "refocus CBS' energies on our booming cable network distribution platforms and new media" (translation: the end of CBS Films).

The R.I.P. tombstone above is generous in giving CBS Films a four year lifespan (2007-2010) considering the first release wasn't until this past weekend - but I think three years of staffing up and development does count as being in business.

Another possibility for CBS would be to acquire Summit Entertainment.  At least then they would have two guaranteed hits in the pipeline - the final two "Twilight" movies.

Or... my personal dream plan, somehow have CBS either acquire or wrest away Paramount from Viacom.  News Corporation buys the cable channels from Viacom (assets they sorely need).  Viacom shuts down thus getting us one step closer to saying bye-bye to Sumner Redstone forever.

Regardless of what happens, CBS' old media experiment is not going to make it.  But Les Moonves can take solace in the fact that a very exciting Super Bowl is coming to CBS and he still runs one of the top two broadcast networks in the country. 

There was a time when that would have been enough for one man.

Jill Kennedy - OnMedea

CBS Films - that scrappy upstart with the name that screams 'OLD MEDIA' ("Films", really?  Can you even buy film stock anymore?  The world is going digital, CBS) - hits the ground running today with its first release, "Extraordinary Measures" starring Harrison Ford and Brendan Fraser.

Most start-up production companies don't have Harrison Ford in their first movie.  Most start-up production companies have the guy or girl that's holding the boom pole also act in a major role and provide their own food and wardrobe.  But most start-up production companies aren't called "CBS FILMS". 

Why is there a CBS Films?  It seems that Viacom (before Sumner Redstone's idiotic decision to split the company in half - thus creating this problem in the first place) has a very nice movie production company called Paramount Pictures.  They also made a couple of Harrison Ford movies.  I remember he played a guy named Indiana Jones for them.

You see, I think it's ridiculous CBS Films had to be formed.  It's not going to last (sorry, Les).  New movie companies just don't make it - even backed by a large media company like CBS.  Yes, go ahead and scream all you want about Summit Entertainment and their success - but after they release two more teen-angst vampire movies - they're done. 

I understand Les Moonves' desire to run a completely vertical entertainment conglomerate.  But it's no longer 1995.  The media landscape has changed.  The glorious gatekeeper days are over.   Ask Harvey Weinstein how hard it is to build an empire from scratch (but you may have to buy him lunch to ask that question.  Dude is totally broke).

Look, I work for The World's Largest Media Company - Manka Bros. - and they have five movie labels and all of them suck.  Sorry, Khan (my boss, Khan Manka, Jr.).  And they've been doing it for 90 years.

Even though "Extraordinary Measures" looks like the kind of movie that would give me a really good cry on a Saturday night at home - WHILE WATCHING THE HALLMARK CHANNEL - I'm sort of rooting against this one to succeed. 

You see, I want CBS to buy (or wrest away) Paramount Pictures from Viacom and then immediately close CBS Films.  I want News Corporation to buy all the cable channels and other assets from Viacom. 

Then I want Viacom and Sumner Redstone to go away... forever.  (I realize Sumner will still be Chairman of CBS - but Chairman can be overthrown - ask Steve Case - even if it's an old coot that's never going to die.)

So, good luck CBS Films.  It's a tall mountain to climb.  I'm thinking "Extraordinary Measures" will pull down between $10-15 million this weekend.  Whether that is good enough to call the first release a success... we'll just have to find out.  Less than $10 million and there will be quite a few worried CBS Films execs on Monday morning.

Jill Kennedy - OnMedea
 

YES!

But only Viacom's cable networks and digital assets.  CBS (not wanting to leave the cocoon of Old Media) should buy Viacom's Paramount Pictures.

Is there any chance in hell this could actually happen?  Could Rupert Murdoch pull off an acquisition of that magnitude?

No fucking way.  Not while old man Redstone continues to draw a breath.

So, yes, it's most likely a non-starter.  But even in a fantasy scenario, wouldn't it be great to finally get rid of Viacom and Redstone?  Both are simply a mess and completely unnecessary. 

[Note:  I realize Sumner Redstone is Chairman of the Board and majority stockholder of CBS, but Les Moonves is the much more appealing face of that company, not Sumner.  Sumner is the face of Viacom... and the media world has had enough.]

Imagine News Corp (which has the weakest portfolio of cable assets save Fox News, FX and those regional sports thingies) with Viacom's cable channels: MTV, Nickelodeon, Comedy Central, TV Land, VH1, etc. etc. 

This would immediately fill all News Corp's demographic needs and, in the digital channel universe, put them on par with Time Warner, Disney and, in late 2010, Comcast. 

Viacom was never going to be on par with anyone as long as Sumner is around (even with those assets)... so it's time to shut it down.

As for CBS and their acquisition of Paramount Pictures... they, obviously, just want to be an old media company and ride that peaceful, easy feeling all the way into the grave.  Buying Paramount Pictures (and, hey, why not MGM while they're at it!) would help realize that mid-1990s-vertical-alignment-synergy-world they are striving for.  And based on Comcast's purchase of NBCU (which valued Universal Studios at less than $3 billion), Paramount, with its much smaller film and television library, can be picked up at quite a fire sale bargain.  (Wait two years and it will be even more of a bargain!)

Also, this would give CBS the opportunity to shut down the ridiculous CBS Films vanity project before it becomes a further embarrassment.

So, think about it people.  A deal like this would really be a win-win-win for everyone... and help us to get rid of (at least a part of) Sumner Redstone once and for all.

Jill Kennedy - OnMedea