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Sorry geeks.  Sorry freaks.  Gone are the dreams and dancing (well, not really 'dancing' - I forgot who I was writing about).  Comic-Con is dead.

And I know right now there are hundreds of Dr. Who and Stargate Universe marathons going on in anticipation of this or that panel discussion, but, face it, it's over.  The cool dorks know it's true.  The rest will find out soon enough.

And it's not really your fault that Comic-Con is dead.  Unlike the whacked out kids in "Final Destination", you DIDN'T see it coming.  Hollywood, with its truckloads of swag and sizzle reels, just steamrolled you and took control of YOUR EVENT (this includes my own parent company - Manka Bros. Studios - The World's Largest Media Company and Manka Bros. Publishing's MC Comics). 

It's really sad but your beautiful 'Woodstock of Geekdom' has been crushed by the evil empire of big media. 

I know you thought you dictated the terms and still think Hollywood needs your approval before going forward with a new comic book movie or TV show but, the truth is, you need Hollywood more than they need you. 

It's sort of like how you thought you and the cheerleader in high school would start dating because she was nice while you helped her get ready for a test.  After the test was over, and she passed, it was right back to the quarterback and she didn't even remember your name.  The cheerleader is Hollywood.

The problem is, the cheerleader knows that all she has to do is smile and you will be right back on board - helping her with the next test. 

Don't take the bait anymore geeks!  Rise up and stop helping the cheerleader with HER homework! 

If Hollywood thinks it can get a good write up on your blog because they send Jessica Alba down to do body shots with you - they have another thing coming!

So here's what needs to be done.  Kill Comic-Con and go back to the church basement (or wherever) to whence it started and, like the best of the comic book origin stories, begin again.  Rebirth. 

Start your little A/V club from scratch and this time DON'T INVITE THE CHEERLEADERS!  They don't want to be there anyway.  It's totally messing up their summer vacations.

Jill Kennedy - OnMedea

OK, online media publishers - enough with the freakin' slideshows!  They're nothing but a waste of time to those who click through all those pages of The World's Top 10 Shellfish and the Best Tasting Fruits You've Never Tasted.  What's the real reason for these time suckages?  Page views and ad impressions - the life force of online media (yes, I admit, my humble blog also depends on these metrics).  And what's the best way to rack up page views and ad impressions?  Slideshows with one image and, on average, three ads per page.  Multiply that by the Top 50 Female Insurance Industry Executives - and you get the idea.

But you didn't come to this page for my rant against Slideshows - you came to see 10 SLIDESHOWS YOU MUST SEE RIGHT NOW!  Let's get to it!  (Note: I have mercifully avoided the obvious and did not put this in Slideshow format.)

10 Unbelievable, Unlikely Animal Friendships

 























What Booze Looks Like Under A Microscope

 

Sad news today for foodies who have way too much time on their hands.  Gourmet Magazine, the magazine that showed all of us hack-chef-wannabees that we had no chance of ever being any good, is going out of business.  [I mean, seriously, look at that picture - who can possibly make that?  It's hard enough just ordering pizza.]

The print business is living a nightmare.  Conde Nast also announced they are axing three other titles (Cookie, Modern Bride and Elegant Bride).  The publishing business model, as it stands today, is truly fucked up but Gourmet has a different problem.  It is a victim of its own name. 

Gourmet is a top-notch magazine to be sure and its Editor-In-Chief Ruth Reichel is one of the classiest and most talented publishing executives in the business (and one hell of a good cook). 

The problem with Gourmet, in this economic climate, is its title.  The middle and lower income people that purchased a subscription for $1 an issue finally gave up on the dream of having 5-star restaurant food in their apartment.  It just wasn't practical in the overall scheme of things.  It's the equivalent of reading a copy of Yachting when you have no idea if you're going to have a job next year - much less... a yacht.  Scary stuff.

Bon Appetit and Food & Wine are scraping by (maybe) but only because their generic titles allow them to have cover stories like 10 (Great) Wines for Under $10 Bucks, and Feed Your Family For Less Than 5 Cents A Day.  The best Gourmet could do was Eat Like A King On A Prince's Salary (or something like that).

The good news is the website (which includes the fabulous Epicurious.com) and TV show will continue (I didn't know there was a TV show - but good luck with that).

I wish the Ruth Reichl and her entire staff the best of luck as they try to move forward.  It's a fucked up world and nothing is fair right now.

Once we start extending the OnMedea brand into the food & wine area, I'll be looking for a few good writers.  But you may need to learn how to make a grilled cheese first.

Jill Kennedy - OnMedea

The cover of Sarah Palin's latest work of fiction "Going Rogue: An American Life" was released today by publisher HarperCollins. 

Anyone waiting to see if Ms. Palin can write in complete sentences WON'T be able to find that out anytime soon because she didn't really write the book.  Most likely she talked into a speaker phone from her Chevy Suburban to Ghost Writer Lynn Vincent who turned Ms. Palin's incoherent thoughts into a simple, easy-to-understand prose that will further separate the growing division in America.

What do we know about Lynn Vincent?  Not much lately.  I have a feeling Ms. Vincent has been locked in Dick Cheney's bunker and will remain there until "Going Rogue: An American Life" is safely in the $1 bins at Costco (or when Ms. Palin becomes President - whichever comes first). 

What we DO know about Lynn Vincent (46) OFF-THE-RECORD is that she is a total Christian Right wacko with hardcore beliefs about abortion, gay marriage, Jews, Democrats, Muslims, etc.  In general, she's a woman with a deep hatred in her heart for all those who are not like her. 

ON THE RECORD, she's a fairly solid writer who (I'm sure) has gay and Muslim friends.  OK, maybe gay friends.  OK, in the closet gay friends.  OK, maybe not.

Over the next few weeks (until the book is released in November), there will be numerous attempts by the "Illegal-should-be-abolished" media on the left to dig up more about Ms. Vincent.  But I have a feeling she will be "unavailable for comment" (though Fox News may be able to land an "Exclusive".  Hannity will be "tough but fair" and manage to wring out what her favorite flavor of Jell-o is).

As tempting as it is to go after whatever low-hanging fruit there is on Ms. Vincent, I say the real focus should remain on Ms. Palin - who, frankly, must be stopped.

Somewhere buried in the digital universe there is further proof that she is completely out of her mind and... dangerous.  For the good of the world, it is our duty to dig it up before she writes again.

Jill Kennedy - OnMedea

P.S. - Sarah, you should have gone more "Coulter" with your cover.  The men want to see you in a black mini-dress (especially Sean Hannity and his repressed sexual urges).