New Pope – Manka Faith's God Blog

May 14, 2024

What Was The Deal With Vatican II?

What Was The Deal With Vatican II?

In the not-so-distant past (October 11, 1962 – December 8, 1965), in the mystical realm of Vatican City, there arose a great gathering known as the Second Vatican Council. Picture if you will, a cosmic congregation of bishops, theologians, and pontiffs, all donning their ecclesiastical garb and convening under the hallowed roof of St. Peter’s Basilica.

Now, this wasn’t your run-of-the-mill church picnic, oh no. This was a seismic shift in the tectonic plates of Catholic tradition. The Vatican, in its infinite wisdom (and perhaps a dash of existential crisis), decided it was high time for a spiritual makeover, a renovation of the divine blueprint, if you will.

Enter Pope John XXIII, a man with the audacity to dream big and the humility to admit that maybe, just maybe, the Church could use a bit of sprucing up. He threw open the windows of the Vatican, both literally and metaphorically, inviting in the fresh breeze of modernity and dialogue.

And thus, Vatican II was born, a cosmic collision of tradition and progress, dogma and innovation. They tackled weighty matters like the role of the Church in the modern world, the liturgy, ecumenism, and religious freedom. It was like watching the universe itself unfold in real-time, with each decree and declaration reshaping the cosmic fabric of Catholicism.

But like any good Biblical tale, Vatican II was not without its moments of absurdity and dark humor. Imagine bishops from around the globe, decked out in their finest robes, engaging in heated debates over whether to switch from Latin to the vernacular in their liturgical rites. Picture the perplexed looks on their faces as they grappled with the mysteries of divine revelation in a rapidly changing world.

Yet amidst the chaos and confusion, there emerged moments of clarity and grace. The Council fathers, inspired by the spirit of renewal, forged ahead with boldness and conviction, charting a course for the Church in the modern age.

And so, dear reader, the curtain falls on our cosmic drama, with Vatican II standing as a testament to the enduring quest for truth and transformation.

For in the end, perhaps the greatest miracle of all is the capacity of humanity to evolve, to adapt, and to embrace the mystery of the divine with open hearts and minds. So it goes.

God’s Intern (Todd) – MANKA FAITH’S GOD BLOG

April 4, 2024

The History Of Calvinism

THE HISTORY OF CALVINISM

Calvinism, also known as Reformed theology, is a Protestant theological system that emerged during the Protestant Reformation in the 16th century. It is named after John Calvin, a French theologian and pastor who played a significant role in its development.

Here’s a brief overview of the history of Calvinism:

Early Influences: Before Calvin, there were significant precursors to the Reformed tradition, including figures like Martin Bucer, Ulrich Zwingli, and Huldrych Zwingli. Their theological ideas laid the groundwork for what would become Calvinism.
John Calvin (1509-1564): Calvin’s most famous work, “Institutes of the Christian Religion,” published in 1536, became one of the most influential theological texts of the Reformation. Calvin emphasized the sovereignty of God, predestination, and the authority of Scripture. His theology spread rapidly, especially in Switzerland and France.
Expansion and Growth: Calvinism gained ground throughout Europe, particularly in Switzerland, the Netherlands, Scotland, England, and parts of Germany. It became a significant force in the broader Protestant movement.
The Synod of Dort (1618-1619): In response to theological challenges from Arminianism (a theological system that emphasized free will), the Dutch Reformed Church convened the Synod of Dort. This synod affirmed the teachings of Calvinism, including the doctrines of total depravity, unconditional election, limited atonement, irresistible grace, and perseverance of the saints, known by the acronym TULIP.
Colonial America: Calvinism played a crucial role in the establishment of several colonies in America. Puritans, who were influenced by Calvinist theology, settled in New England, while Dutch Reformed and Presbyterian churches were established in other regions. Their influence shaped the early American religious landscape.
Calvinism Today: Calvinism continues to have a significant presence in Protestant Christianity worldwide. Various denominations, including Presbyterian, Reformed, and some Baptist churches, adhere to Calvinist theology to varying degrees. Additionally, Calvinist ideas have influenced other theological traditions and have had a lasting impact on Western culture and thought.

Throughout its history, Calvinism has undergone various interpretations and adaptations, leading to different branches and denominations within the broader Reformed tradition. However, its core theological principles remain influential in many Protestant churches today.

God’s Intern (Todd) – MANKA FAITH GOD BLOG

February 26, 2019July 23, 2019

MankaGoNow To Feature So Much Manka Faith!

Behind The Proscenium, Ben Silverman, biggest budget movie, Bill Hybels, Bob Coy, Book of Habakkuk, Book of Judges, Broadway Manka, Calvary Chapel, Dave Stone, Dennis Rodman, Experimental Theater, Faith-Based, Frank Rich, Gina Grass, Grace Note Records, Hebrew Bible, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joel Osteen, Katy Perry, Khan Manka, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Lakewood Church, Lil' Wayne, Manka Bros., Manka Faith, New Testament, NOW Testament, Old Testament, Oral Roberts, Original Sinema, Pat Robertson, Promised Land, Rick Warren, Ricky Van Veen, Robert Schuler, Robin Rafe, Rupert Murdoch, Saddleback Church, Samuel Beckett, Shelly MacDonald, Southeast Christian Church, Strauss Zelnick, Sumner Redstone, Superman Returns, Tae Kwon Doug, Terry Semel, The Book Of Judges, The Lord Of The Rings, Tween Jesus n Me, Willow Creek Community Church, World's Largest Media Company

Greetings greetings greetings!

We are so excited here at our “slightly” off the studio lot, very humble offices of Manka Faith.

Our offices may be plain and underfunded (and, frankly, freezing) but we are still the World’s Largest Faith-Based entertainment group (inside the World’s Largest Media Company).

After the recent announcement that Manka Bros. is producing OVER 400 NEW SERIES for the MankaGoNow over-the-top service, Manka Faith is ramping up production, basically quadrupling our content output!

IT’S CRAZY OVER HERE!!!

So much new Jesus shit coming your way (and, to be fair, some Jewish and Hindu stuff, too)!

I’m most excited for the fans… of religion… of goodness… of hope in this world.

It’s a great time to be a person with faith.

This is just a quick update for our Manka Faith God Blog fans (and there are many) of what new content we’ll be producing for the new MankaGoNow service (only $34.99 a month!).

The new Manka Faith content includes:

Christian Lions (animated series, faith): Manka Faith inspirational children’s series about Lion missionaries bringing the word of Christ to other animals.
The Death Of Jesus (documentary, faith): Manka Faith sends a documentary crew to the Middle East to find out what really happened to Jesus – and they really found out.
Penny’s From Heaven (multi-year series, faith): Manka Faith’s blatant rip-off of “Touched By An Angel.”
New Bible – Fixing The New Testament (reality series, faith): There’s a new Jesus with a new Bible with new Apostles and they’ve written a new Bible. This series tells you everything that changed from the old Bible and what we can expect when the world ends.
In The Pew (reality series, faith): Every week, in the pew, Manka Faith brings you the latest from the world of religion. We’ll have interviews with Catholics, Lutherans, Presbyterians… and all the rest.
Devoutrageous! (multi-year series, faith): You gotta feel it, people! Get up! Get up! The world’s biggest mega-church has pull-up bars above every pew and a tight ass funk band to fire up the crowd. My God, if Jesus don’t exist at least we’ll all be in shape when we die!
Rapture Checkers (multi-year series, faith): Ten percent of those taken in the rapture was a mistake. This squad of “rapture checkers” investigate if the right ones were taken and drag back to Earth the ones that shouldn’t have gone.
God? (reality series, faith): Manka Faith interviews victims of accidents, robberies, and horrible health issues who share their views on the existence of God. [Bottom line: they ain’t a fan.]
Jesus V Mohammed (reality series, competition, faith): It’s a battle to the finish. The true Messiah will be revealed at the end of the season.

We’re even supporting a series from our atheist friends that is not produced by us because… #inclusion.

Jonah & The Whale And Other Bullshit Stories About Bullshit (limited series, anti-faith): No God Productions (NOT affiliated with Manka Faith – but we are open minded so here’s the promotion) presents this nice alternative world (for our atheist subscribers).

So you can see why we’re so excited!

#Excited!

All this new production is on top of the films and shows we are already producing – which include our $300 million film adaptation of “The Book Of Habakkuk” which should begin production… soon.

The “Tween Jesus N’ Me” 2019 Stadium Tour…

And so much more. Watch this space!

Josh – Manka Faith’s Summer Intern (Now Full-Time, Ho!)

December 11, 2013July 24, 2015

Has Pope Francis Jumped The Shark?

UPDATE: Now Pope Francis is on the cover of Rolling Stone (he’s jumping a freakin’ whale now!)

PREVIOUS POST: With the announcement that Pope Francis is Time Magazine’s Person of the Year, I think it’s time to ask the question – has Pope Francis jumped the shark?

In the past week, revelations have come that he used to be a bouncer, at night he goes out in disguise and gives blessings to the poor on the streets of Rome, he formed a task force on the Child Abuse Scandal – and now, he’s Person of the Year!

And he’s on Twitter! And he lives in common quarters. And he takes the bus.

It’s too much – too soon.

We’re Poped Out!

We like our Popes to be mysterious, even a bit creepy – like Ratzinger (Benedict XVI).

Pope Francis is someone you can watch a football match with while doing jello shots and eating sausage.

That’s what I do with my asshole friends (especially Lance) – not the leader of the Catholic church.

This guy had better pull back into the shadows or all will be lost.

More draconian, less peace-and-love-ian.

Religion is not a happy business. It is deadly serious.

I think it’s time to move back to Dark Ages before people actually like going to Church again.

Remember, the Church is supposed to put the Fear of God in people. Not gelato.

God’s Intern (Steve) – Manka Faith’s God Blog

December 11, 2013July 24, 2015

Time Magazine Person of the Year – POPE FRANCIS

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, God Blog, Dominic Lanza, Pope Gregory XII, Innocent VII, Martin V, Western Schism, Angelo Correr, Angela Corraro, Antipope Benedict XIII, King Ladislaus, Benedict XVI, Pope resigns, Carol I Malatesta, College of Cardinals, Peter Turkson, Luis Antonio Tagle, Odilo Scherer, Fear of a Black Planet, Public Enemy, Fight the Power, Chuck D, black pope, Pope Francis

Great news, Pope fans!

Francis has been named Person of the Year by Time Magazine.

That is all.

Dominic Lanza – Sr. Vatican Correspondent – Manka Faith God Blog

March 11, 2013July 24, 2015

Fear Of A Black Pope

Public Enemy must re-form and remix “Fight The Power” from their 1989 iconic CD “Fear of a Black Planet” and call it “Fear of a Black Pope.”

Almost every news story mentions that Cardinal Peter Turkson (below) from Ghana has a legitimate shot to become the church’s first black pope.

Seriously?

We know this will never happen in our lifetimes.

There is a greater chance that everyone in the Gaza Strip will convert to Judaism than there is for a black Pope in the Catholic Church.

And the Church should be ashamed of itself (even more than it currently is).

The same can be said for Cardinal Luis Antonio Tagle from the Philippines and Cardinal Odilo Scherer of Brazil (though he has a million times better chance than the African or Asian candidates – who have zero chance).

At least Cardinal Scherer is the right color (German descent will do that for you).

All the speculation, all the drama this week will come down to nothing but a European Pope – most likely Italian – and that’s the reason the Church is in big trouble.

I have never seen such a complete and insane inability to think differently or of the future.

It’s stunning, frankly.

This unwillingness to adapt to changing times is what will eventually bring down the Church (if it hasn’t been brought down already).

As a a die-hard Cathlolic, this makes me sad.

All the excitement around this week in Rome with the Conclave and the white smoke (Is it white? Is it black? Is it green?) and the eventual Habemas Papam will lead to depression and criticism from all around the world.

And the Church will once again be stuck until the next Pope selection begins and the brief moments of hope we have before they name another European.

Ah, well… at least I am in Rome and I have wine, cheese and gelato.

Buona fortuna!

Dominic Lanza – Sr. Vatican Correspondent – Manka Faith God Blog

February 11, 2013July 24, 2015

Pope Gregory XII Resigns!!!

POPE GREGORY XII RESIGNS!!!

That was the headline from the Roman Daily Whatever on July 4, 1415.

And today’s headline about Benedict XVI is no less shocking. But there are millions of sources writing about that subject today. No need for one more.

So I say – who is this Pope Gregory XII and why the heck did he resign from such a great job?

Well, he sort of had to because the very small College of Cardinals at the time (many were just relatives) made a deal with Pope Gregory XII in 1406 that if the other Pope in Avignon (Antipope Benedict XIII (1394-1423) were to, in the future, renounce all claims to the Papacy (which he reluctantly did on July 4, 1415), Pope Gregory XII would also have to resign so that a fresh election could be made and a new Pope could start a new era for the Church.

(But not before Gregory XII got four of his relatives into the College of Cardinals – one who eventually became Pope Eugene IV.)

It, of course, wasn’t as clean as all that. Once you introduce someone with a title “Antipope” – you know you’re in for trouble.

There was lots of corruption, lots of family fights, lots of things, in general, that Jesus wouldn’t approve of much.

Thank God the Church has fixed all those little problems.

For a good little summary of the whole Pope Gregory XII resignation – head on over to Wikipedia (where we all get our facts).

As far as Pope Benedict XVI’s resignation goes – my Catholic intuition tells me that all is not as it seems at the Vatican.

If failing health was a solid reason for resignation, nearly every Pope would have resigned years and years before they died.

None of those guys are ever healthy. Their diet is just a ridiculous amount of sauces and carbs. And the wine consumption? Forget it.

It’s not a healthy job.

Dying in office is what you do when you’re a Pope.

Being Pope isn’t like being President of the United States.

There aren’t ex-Pope’s running around building houses and giving speeches.

You’re Pope, even if you’re sick, and then you die as Pope.

Pope Gregory XII had to resign because it was part of a long complicated agreement to end the whole wackiness of the Western Schism (again – go to Wikipedia for details).

Details will come out eventually on why Benedict XVI really resigned – and I have a feeling it won’t be pretty.

Dominic Lanza – Sr. Vatican Correspondent – Manka Faith God Blog