The History Of Lutheranism
The History Of Lutheranism
In the quiet corners of medieval Europe, amidst the whispers of the faithful and the shadows of ancient cathedrals, a rumbling began. It was a murmur of discontent, a yearning for truth unadorned by the opulence of the Church. This rumbling found its voice in a humble monk named Martin Luther.
Picture him, if you will, in his monastic cell, his eyes alight with the fire of revelation. Born of ink and parchment, Luther’s words were like thunderclaps in the tranquil landscape of religious orthodoxy. He dared to challenge the established order, to question the very foundations upon which the Church stood.
With the stroke of a quill, Luther ignited a conflagration that would sweep across Europe, leaving in its wake a new religious movement: Lutheranism.
But this was no mere rebellion; it was a reformation, a reclaiming of the true essence of Christianity from the clutches of corruption and excess.
The story of Lutheranism is one of upheaval and renewal, of fervent believers standing against the tide of tradition. It is a tale of courage and conviction, of ordinary men and women defying the powers that be in the name of faith.
Yet, as with all revolutions, Lutheranism was not without its trials and tribulations. The fires of persecution raged hot, threatening to consume those who dared to embrace this new way of worship. But like a sturdy oak in the midst of a storm, Lutheranism stood firm, its roots anchored deep in the soil of truth.
And so, the Lutheran faith endured, spreading its branches far and wide, casting a shadow of hope upon a world shrouded in darkness. From the cobblestone streets of Wittenberg to the distant shores of America, the legacy of Martin Luther lives on, a beacon of light in a world fraught with uncertainty.
In the end, the history of Lutheranism is not just a chronicle of religious doctrine; it is a testament to the indomitable spirit of humanity, a reminder that even in our darkest hours, faith has the power to illuminate the path forward.
MankaGoNow To Feature So Much Manka Faith!
Greetings greetings greetings!
We are so excited here at our “slightly” off the studio lot, very humble offices of Manka Faith.
Our offices may be plain and underfunded (and, frankly, freezing) but we are still the World’s Largest Faith-Based entertainment group (inside the World’s Largest Media Company).
After the recent announcement that Manka Bros. is producing OVER 400 NEW SERIES for the MankaGoNow over-the-top service, Manka Faith is ramping up production, basically quadrupling our content output!
IT’S CRAZY OVER HERE!!!
So much new Jesus shit coming your way (and, to be fair, some Jewish and Hindu stuff, too)!
I’m most excited for the fans… of religion… of goodness… of hope in this world.
It’s a great time to be a person with faith.
This is just a quick update for our Manka Faith God Blog fans (and there are many) of what new content we’ll be producing for the new MankaGoNow service (only $34.99 a month!).
The new Manka Faith content includes:
- Christian Lions (animated series, faith): Manka Faith inspirational children’s series about Lion missionaries bringing the word of Christ to other animals.
- The Death Of Jesus (documentary, faith): Manka Faith sends a documentary crew to the Middle East to find out what really happened to Jesus – and they really found out.
- Penny’s From Heaven (multi-year series, faith): Manka Faith’s blatant rip-off of “Touched By An Angel.”
- New Bible – Fixing The New Testament (reality series, faith): There’s a new Jesus with a new Bible with new Apostles and they’ve written a new Bible. This series tells you everything that changed from the old Bible and what we can expect when the world ends.
- In The Pew (reality series, faith): Every week, in the pew, Manka Faith brings you the latest from the world of religion. We’ll have interviews with Catholics, Lutherans, Presbyterians… and all the rest.
- Devoutrageous! (multi-year series, faith): You gotta feel it, people! Get up! Get up! The world’s biggest mega-church has pull-up bars above every pew and a tight ass funk band to fire up the crowd. My God, if Jesus don’t exist at least we’ll all be in shape when we die!
- Rapture Checkers (multi-year series, faith): Ten percent of those taken in the rapture was a mistake. This squad of “rapture checkers” investigate if the right ones were taken and drag back to Earth the ones that shouldn’t have gone.
- God? (reality series, faith): Manka Faith interviews victims of accidents, robberies, and horrible health issues who share their views on the existence of God. [Bottom line: they ain’t a fan.]
- Jesus V Mohammed (reality series, competition, faith): It’s a battle to the finish. The true Messiah will be revealed at the end of the season.
We’re even supporting a series from our atheist friends that is not produced by us because… #inclusion.
- Jonah & The Whale And Other Bullshit Stories About Bullshit (limited series, anti-faith): No God Productions (NOT affiliated with Manka Faith – but we are open minded so here’s the promotion) presents this nice alternative world (for our atheist subscribers).
So you can see why we’re so excited!
#Excited!
All this new production is on top of the films and shows we are already producing – which include our $300 million film adaptation of “The Book Of Habakkuk” which should begin production… soon.
The “Tween Jesus N’ Me” 2019 Stadium Tour…
And so much more. Watch this space!
Josh – Manka Faith’s Summer Intern (Now Full-Time, Ho!)
Has Pope Francis Jumped The Shark?
UPDATE: Now Pope Francis is on the cover of Rolling Stone (he’s jumping a freakin’ whale now!)
PREVIOUS POST: With the announcement that Pope Francis is Time Magazine’s Person of the Year, I think it’s time to ask the question – has Pope Francis jumped the shark?
In the past week, revelations have come that he used to be a bouncer, at night he goes out in disguise and gives blessings to the poor on the streets of Rome, he formed a task force on the Child Abuse Scandal – and now, he’s Person of the Year!
And he’s on Twitter! And he lives in common quarters. And he takes the bus.
It’s too much – too soon.
We’re Poped Out!
We like our Popes to be mysterious, even a bit creepy – like Ratzinger (Benedict XVI).
Pope Francis is someone you can watch a football match with while doing jello shots and eating sausage.
That’s what I do with my asshole friends (especially Lance) – not the leader of the Catholic church.
This guy had better pull back into the shadows or all will be lost.
More draconian, less peace-and-love-ian.
Religion is not a happy business. It is deadly serious.
I think it’s time to move back to Dark Ages before people actually like going to Church again.
Remember, the Church is supposed to put the Fear of God in people. Not gelato.
God’s Intern (Steve) – Manka Faith’s God Blog
Fear Of A Black Pope
Public Enemy must re-form and remix “Fight The Power” from their 1989 iconic CD “Fear of a Black Planet” and call it “Fear of a Black Pope.”
Almost every news story mentions that Cardinal Peter Turkson (below) from Ghana has a legitimate shot to become the church’s first black pope.
Seriously?
We know this will never happen in our lifetimes.
There is a greater chance that everyone in the Gaza Strip will convert to Judaism than there is for a black Pope in the Catholic Church.
And the Church should be ashamed of itself (even more than it currently is).
The same can be said for Cardinal Luis Antonio Tagle from the Philippines and Cardinal Odilo Scherer of Brazil (though he has a million times better chance than the African or Asian candidates – who have zero chance).
At least Cardinal Scherer is the right color (German descent will do that for you).
All the speculation, all the drama this week will come down to nothing but a European Pope – most likely Italian – and that’s the reason the Church is in big trouble.
I have never seen such a complete and insane inability to think differently or of the future.
It’s stunning, frankly.
This unwillingness to adapt to changing times is what will eventually bring down the Church (if it hasn’t been brought down already).
As a a die-hard Cathlolic, this makes me sad.
All the excitement around this week in Rome with the Conclave and the white smoke (Is it white? Is it black? Is it green?) and the eventual Habemas Papam will lead to depression and criticism from all around the world.
And the Church will once again be stuck until the next Pope selection begins and the brief moments of hope we have before they name another European.
Ah, well… at least I am in Rome and I have wine, cheese and gelato.
Buona fortuna!
Dominic Lanza – Sr. Vatican Correspondent – Manka Faith God Blog
Pope Gregory XII Resigns!!!
That was the headline from the Roman Daily Whatever on July 4, 1415.
And today’s headline about Benedict XVI is no less shocking. But there are millions of sources writing about that subject today. No need for one more.
So I say – who is this Pope Gregory XII and why the heck did he resign from such a great job?
Well, he sort of had to because the very small College of Cardinals at the time (many were just relatives) made a deal with Pope Gregory XII in 1406 that if the other Pope in Avignon (Antipope Benedict XIII (1394-1423) were to, in the future, renounce all claims to the Papacy (which he reluctantly did on July 4, 1415), Pope Gregory XII would also have to resign so that a fresh election could be made and a new Pope could start a new era for the Church.
(But not before Gregory XII got four of his relatives into the College of Cardinals – one who eventually became Pope Eugene IV.)
It, of course, wasn’t as clean as all that. Once you introduce someone with a title “Antipope” – you know you’re in for trouble.
There was lots of corruption, lots of family fights, lots of things, in general, that Jesus wouldn’t approve of much.
Thank God the Church has fixed all those little problems.
For a good little summary of the whole Pope Gregory XII resignation – head on over to Wikipedia (where we all get our facts).
As far as Pope Benedict XVI’s resignation goes – my Catholic intuition tells me that all is not as it seems at the Vatican.
If failing health was a solid reason for resignation, nearly every Pope would have resigned years and years before they died.
None of those guys are ever healthy. Their diet is just a ridiculous amount of sauces and carbs. And the wine consumption? Forget it.
It’s not a healthy job.
Dying in office is what you do when you’re a Pope.
Being Pope isn’t like being President of the United States.
There aren’t ex-Pope’s running around building houses and giving speeches.
You’re Pope, even if you’re sick, and then you die as Pope.
Pope Gregory XII had to resign because it was part of a long complicated agreement to end the whole wackiness of the Western Schism (again – go to Wikipedia for details).
Details will come out eventually on why Benedict XVI really resigned – and I have a feeling it won’t be pretty.
Dominic Lanza – Sr. Vatican Correspondent – Manka Faith God Blog
Book Of Habakkuk To Become $300 Million Major Motion Picture
What a day!
Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company – in association with its Manka Faith theatrical division – Original Sinema – will begin production on the Book Of Habakkuk which is the eighth book of the 12 minor prophets of the Hebrew Bible.
Great stuff!
This will not slow up our previously announced production of the Book of Judges – but it will cost considerably more.
The Book of Judges will be made for approximately $5 million (mostly camel rental – ha! Just kidding, it’s an awesome story. One of the best books of the Old Testament!)
As for The Book of Habakkuk (we call it ‘Haba’ in production meetings), I’m fairly certain $300 million is the biggest movie budget in the history of motion pictures. Others may have cost more to produce (i.e., Avatar, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, etc.) but none have announced their budget at the BEGINNING as $300 million. Just imagine where this one will end up (kidding again, Khan Manka, Jr.!).
And it will all be on the screen.
You may ask why we’re taking such a huge risk.
To us, this is a much safer bet than something like Tae Kwon Doug which cost only $45 million to produce but will barely make back $1,500 if it’s lucky.
We just know in our gut that there’s a lot of money in this God stuff.
A lot.
So we’re willing to roll the dice.
And if all works out – there are plenty more books of the Old and New Testaments to keep this machine running!
Check back here over the next few months for updates on casting, locations and, in general, how everything is moving along.
Robin Rafe – President – Manka Bros. Theatrical Group
The Book Of Judges
Hello to our growing Manka Faith community!
It’s a pleasure to be “glogging” you and telling you about the exciting things coming up from our Faith-based Theatrical label – Original Sinema.
We are just about to begin production on The Book Of Judges.
This is a very exciting project for us.
In my opinion, it is one of the best books in all the old or new testaments.
It’s just so well structured that there is very little that we needed to change (a few character names and the sequence of events here and there).
It’s got some great text and action and it’s all very “theatrical” – which is why we chose it for our inaugural production.
Check back here whenever you can for updates from the set.
I leave you with the quote we’ll use on the one-sheet.
“Every Man Did That Which Was Right In His Own Eyes” – Book of Judges 21:25.
Cheers!
Robin Rafe – President – Manka Bros. Theatrical Group