Mornin’ Eagleville – Sulfur Smell and Shoplifting

Mornin’ Eagleville. I guess when you tell people you are going to do this every day you actually have to do it… every day. I’m not complaining but…

Well… Mornin’ Eagleville….

They say ‘whoever smelt it dealt it.’ Well, the people who smelt it was us in Eagleville – but who dealt it was the Rutherford County Public Works.

Rutherford County Public Works – Sulfur Problem

If your water and your crops smell like sulfur – rotten egg smell – just awful… it’s because of them sons of bitches. Pardon my tongue.

Sulfur Smell Coming From RCPW Building Affecting All Area Farms and Water Supply

We’re heavy into the 21st century, sulfur in anything shouldn’t be (as my granddaughter says) “a thing.” I grew up with that shit in the 1970s – undrinkable water, inedible vegetables. Just shit on wheels. 

Guinea Worm Spotted In Blue Creek – They Are Deadly! Please Wear Shoes If You Cross!

Just a reminder, don’t cross Blue Creek without shoes. Apparently, Guinea Worms crawled into the bodies of three people from Eagleville recently through their feet. The people did not survive. We’ll pass along the names of the deceased when we have more information.

It’s free pizza day at Betty’s Italian Café & Irish Bar.

Betty’s Italian Cafe & Irish Bar

Just buy a pizza and at some point, they’ll send you a coupon for a free pizza or cheese bread at a later day (to be chosen by Betty or her teenage son, Scooter). Mmmm, free pizza. 

Police apprehended two juvenile youths for shoplifting yesterday (and regardless of online social media posts, one of them was NOT Betty’s son Scooter).

Surveillance Photo of Alleged Shoplifters At Rigsby’s General Store and Plumbing Supply

The two juveniles stole three candy bars and a muffin from Rigsby’s General Store and Plumbing Supply in College Grove. Even though the boys were thirteen, they will be tried as adults. Good riddance to your life, fellas. 

That’ll do ‘er for another day. Have a good one, Eagleville.

Sam

Mornin’ Eagleville – Aliens and Pie

Mornin’ Eagleville…

You betcha we made it. It’s another day – and it’s not so hot. That’s a win-win in my book. So let’s get goin’ on this glorious day.

Alan Rigsby – who with Rigsby Bros. are proud sponsors of Mornin’ Eagleville’ – called our tip line last night with an extraterrestrial sighting! He said an unidentified flying object was spotted directly over the Rigsby Brothers Motel in College Grove and then quickly flew out of the atmosphere before he could activate the camera on his phone. 

Rigsby Bros. Grocery, Auto Repair & Tax Preparation (With UFOs Added By AI)

He did describe the encounter to his granddaughter, Shelby, who is in second grade, and she made a drawing. This is more for fun than for historical fact. So here’s that drawing. Pretty good job, I’d say.

Shelby Rigsby’s Drawing Of UFO Invasion of College Grove, TN

I know for some a sighting like that in College Grove will throw it immediately into the wacko pile because those people over there can’t be trust. But I have known Alan Rigsby most of my life and he is not a liar. So we have to take it at face value and as the truth.

So, there it is – further proof – we are not alone. 

And on that note, the Rigsby Pancake and Waffle Barn is having a special this weekend. An Alien Pancake Special – green pancakes shaped like Alien Faces with butter for eyes – $4.99 for six pancakes and a side of Area 51 Hash Browns

Mornin’ Eagleville is brought to you by Rigby’s Tire and Auto. Everyone’s car breaks down but only one place can fix it – Rigsby’s Tire & Auto. Where else would you go? Nashville and all them new blue recruits? Let’s go Brandon. Rigsby’s Tire & Auto.

Rigsby Bros. Tire & Auto

I realize this is a Rigsby heavy episode but those boys do a lot for our community so maybe our community will a lot for them and support those businesses that support us.

One final thing today… the Monthly Eagleville Pie Baking Contest was won by Anita Flores. How that happened, I have no idea. She’s new to town and, apparently, knows her way around the Apricot.

Eagleville Pie Baking Contest

Mama Karen Rigsby was second with her normally dominant Apple pie. So this was a bit of a shock to all us.

Maybe the Aliens rigged it for Miss Flores – or maybe she just knows how to make a pie.

I’ll talk at you tomorrow, Eagleville. And now that we know we’re not alone, that’s just one more reason to be kind.

Have a good one, Eagleville.

Sam

Mornin’ Eagleville – Petting Zoo and World War 2 Bomb

They say when you cut the head off a snake, the snake stays alive just long enough to bite you and everyone you love. This past weekend, I cut the head off a snake in my tobacco patch and it didn’t bite shit – excuse my language.

Just sayin’, don’t believe anything you hear or read.

So good mornin’ to you all. 

Eagleville Elementary School is having a petting zoo this weekend. The zoo will be two dogs, a cat and three sheep. Thanks for the support, Eagleville. Should be fun for all. 

An undiscovered WW2 test bomb – used for military tests during WW2 training – exploded when a local Book Club group (the Facebook page said there were seventeen active members) was having a picnic on the outskirts of Eagleville near the College Grove line. The book they were reading was ‘All The Light We Cannot See.’ There were no survivors. 

The weather is so freakin’ hot now – no thanks to Brandon – but, I suppose, winter will come at some point in this life. We’ll be in the 90s in the day and the 80s at night. 

In sports, Eagleville High School LaCrosse is having tryouts… nope… nope… nope… not giving LaCrosse anytime here. It’s not a real sport – at least not real in these parts. Connecticut can talk about it all they want.  

That’ll do ‘er for today.

The cherry pie is fresh at the Dairy Bar this morning. So go there and smoke your cigarettes, drink your coffee, eat your pancakes and finish it all off with a nice slice of cherry pie.

Remember, health is genetics. Some fat people die when they’re ninety and some skinny marathon runners die when they’re thirty.

Have a great one. 

Talk at ya tomorrow.

Sam